


A Wizard's Lament

by Kage Kitsune (Kage_Kitsune), Kage_Kitsune



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Gay, Harry/Tom - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Shounen ai, Slash, closely follows book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 147,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23201242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kage_Kitsune/pseuds/Kage%20Kitsune, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kage_Kitsune/pseuds/Kage_Kitsune
Summary: Harry receives a gift from Dumbledore on his 15th birthday. However the gift turns out to be much more than it seems. This story follows book 5 close/>Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, Sirius/Lupin Shonen ai, Slash, Yaoi whatever you want to call it.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle
Comments: 137
Kudos: 156





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So A Wizard's Lament is probably one of my most controversial and yet most read fanfic. My intention had been to finish the entire rewrite of this fanfic and post it, but with the way the virus is spreading, I'm positive people need things to read. Given my lack of productivity thanks to my surgery and just being sick in general, I'm going to start posting the rewrites now. Please enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters. I understand this fanfic follows the books extremely closely, but with alternations due to events that happen.  
Warnings: Shounen ai Harry Potter/ Tom Riddle , slash. Don't like? Don't read.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump
> 
> Notes 2: This was my first Harry Potter fanfic, originally started when I was 12. A lot of crazy stuff happened the first draft, and I will be "fixing" things that should have never taken place in the story, because at that time, I allowed myself to be bullied into writing scenes I did not want to write and had no business writing. I hope everyone will enjoy this updated version. Also, be aware that this is the first story in what's basically taken over my life of writing. (It really shouldn't have). There are currently three stories, each of them following the books. Read in the order of Lament (book 5), Redemption (book 6), and Past (book 4). There is an outline for book 7 and then a completely original story planned out for after that. 
> 
> As I've moved on with this story and its monster collection of others, there have been moves away from the actual books making the stories slightly more original. (I won't say a lot, because I don't know how Lament's rewrite ends yet). 
> 
> All I can say is, I hope you enjoy the story. If you read the original and were offended, I apologize, I was too. If this is your first time reading this, I hope you get at least some minor entertainment.

Harry lay on his bed in silence staring at his bedroom ceiling in number four Privet Drive. The wind outside blowing in an almost soft melody. Sadly, the boy with black hair, glasses, and the lightning-shaped scar on his forehead was not being lulled to sleep by it as so many others in Little Whinging no doubt were. He closed his eyes, but didn't seem any closer to falling asleep now than he had the first hundred times he'd attempted to sleep that night, not that this surprised Harry.

Despite the breeze outside, the room itself was quite stuffy and he was tempted more than a few times throughout the night to remove his pyjama top, but he knew now not to bother. Every time he'd begun to remove it, the air conditioner would kick on and he'd begin to freeze. He wondered a few times if Uncle Vernon or Dudley were watching his every move so they could turn it on once he sat up in bed and tried to take his top off. Just another way to drive him mad. As if, he wasn't already nearly there.

None of that really had anything to do with what was bothering Harry though. Today had been his birthday and after angrily throwing away two boxes of chocolates, one from Ron, the other from Hermione, he'd tried to sleep the rest of the day away. And, it wasn't just his two best friends he was angry with. He was mad at everyone he knew. Until his birthday, not a single person had written him more than a few sentences since he'd left Hogwarts. When he'd awoken that morning and found a small pile of gifts in front of his bed, he'd been shocked. Suddenly all his friends had remembered he was alive. The gifts were accompanied by the usual card or letter, all of them wishing him a happy birthday. He hadn't been happy in months, how was his birthday, at the Dursley's no less, supposed to be even marginally better than the rest of his horrible days so far? No one had even bothered to ask how he was doing.

_Doing real great everyone, the fact that Cedric is dead doesn't bother me at all, _he thought bitterly.

None of the birthday cards even suggested they'd read any of the letters he'd sent at the beginning of the summer and he had sent a good deal of them. Not that anyone had taken time out of their busy schedule to properly reply. They had sent letters back a week or two later, but most of them didn't go any longer than three sentences and all of them contained generic words that could have been ripped off a "missing you" Hallmark card from the nearest shop.

Harry finally concluded he would not be falling back to sleep any time soon. He opened his eyes flipping over in his bed so he could get a good look at the gifts scattered across the floor. They laid exactly where they'd landed that morning when Harry had thrown them. The rock cake Hagrid had given him was on the floor, a dent in the wall above the package where the murderous cake had struck before falling to the carpet. Sirius' "gift", if one could really call it that, a piece of paper promising Harry any gift he wanted the second they were together, whenever that would be, was at the bottom of his rubbish bin. Lupin's gift, a book on how to fight dark creatures was next to his bedroom door.

After he'd discarded every gift in turn and mentally cursed every so-called friend that he had, a school owl had arrived carrying a very small nondescript parcel. The owl had landed on his bed and held its foot out proudly. Harry had removed the box, the owl flying away immediately after. A quick inspection of the parcel gave him no clues, but since it was a school owl, it had to be from Dumbledore. None of the other professors would send Harry a gift, not that Dumbledore had ever done so before.

There was no letter inside from what Harry could tell, not even a note saying, "Happy birthday." He'd felt even more ignored than before. On the other hand, Dumbledore had taken the time to get him a birthday gift. He knew the headmaster was busy, but it would be nice to know what was going on. Didn't he deserve that much?

Package in hand, he'd carefully unwrapped the box just in case Dumbledore had sent him something important under the pretext of a birthday gift. There might even be a letter inside. He'd opened the box slowly, making sure not to jostle anything, or cause even the slightest bit of stress to the box. Inside was a small object wrapped in white tissue paper. A small circle pendant about the size of a Galleon, maybe a little bigger, rested inside. Each side had a crescent moon facing in, the bottom and top points touching to form the circle. There were markings of some sort on the moons, but Harry had never seen anything like them before. The framed center was black and empty, a pool of darkness that he could lose himself in with ease. Just holding it had soothed some of his anger.

He had ended up staring at it for quite a few moments before he accidentally stumbled across its true nature. Harry had been holding it up by the silver chain it was on, the pendant spinning in the air when he'd uttered the words, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

The black center of the pendant had flashed a brilliant green light and then faded. Dark green letters began appearing, one by one, until soon, they had formed into words.

'Whatever you want to do with me.'

Harry's mouth had opened somewhat.

"You can understand me?"

The first sentence vanished, new words forming within seconds.

'Better than most.'

"What are you?"

'A gift from Dumbledore.'

Harry's heart began to beat faster. It didn't exactly answer his question, but the growing unease he'd been feeling let up. Somewhere in his mind, or perhaps his instincts, told him he should be wary of magical objects like this, but this felt familiar, comforting almost, and if Dumbledore really had been the one to send it, why worry?

'Go ahead; ask away, talk, I won't be going anywhere.' The necklace read.

Harry was so deprived of real conversations and actual interactions that, that was all the convincing he'd needed. Perhaps Dumbledore had realized just how lonely he really was and this necklace, basically an enchanted Muggle eight ball, was his solution. For the next two hours, Harry asked the pendant about everything he could think of, his friends, his future, Dumbledore. The necklace seemed all too happy to give him answers, usually adding its own little details. It seemed especially bent on warning Harry about his future but stressed that nothing was set in stone. That the future was forever changing.

One feature the necklace had that a Muggle magic ball did not, was its ability to show Harry images. When he'd asked what the length of a normal English Dragon was, a full moving image of one had appeared in the center of the necklace before it disappeared and the answer to his question came forth.

He'd been surprised, shaking his head, when his eyes had caught sight of the clock on his bedside table. It was almost lunchtime. Hours had passed without him even realizing it. He'd placed the necklace on the bedside table and left his room. While he loved the gift, he knew he shouldn't become obsessed with it. Granted, if he did, it would be Dumbledore and his friends' fault. They were the ones leaving him with nothing to converse with, but a magical necklace.

The clock now read three in the morning and to his disappointment, his mind was up and running. Sleep would not be coming anytime soon. He stretched his arm out to the bedside table and lifted the necklace from its resting place, a small amount of warmth flowing through him. Just touching the object was like running into an old friend, one he could talk to at any hour of the day. He watched the pendant spin hypnotically. It was strange how comforted he was just by holding the object.

_What to ask, _he wondered as he gazed into the black pool between the moons. It continued to spin even as Harry dropped his head back onto his pillow. He'd asked the pendant so many things earlier. He hoped the charm was strong enough to last the rest of his summer. A sudden fear gripped him at the thought of no longer being able to ask the pendant anything. _Get ahold of yourself!_

The necklace began glowing even though Harry had said nothing aloud.

'What's wrong?'

Harry blinked taken aback. There was no way the necklace could read his mind, yet how else could he explain the words?

_Maybe I am getting too dependent on this thing. _But, the alternative was isolation. _Dumbledore sent it,_ he reminded himself yet again. Dumbledore would never give him a dangerous gift; no this was something to keep him going so he didn't go mad. Once school started, he could be rid of it.

"I can't sleep," he whispered to the necklace.

'So, I can see,' the necklace replied.

Harry made a face almost feeling the sarcasm dripping from the necklace's words.

_It's just a magical object._

"I'm wondering if anyone is ever going to tell me what's going on."

The necklace went dark, almost like it was thinking before words began appearing across it.

'Eventually, if they ever remember you're here and not at Hogwarts. They have no doubt forgotten you went home.'

"You're supposed to make me feel better," Harry snapped at the necklace. He already knew he'd been forgotten or at the least, cast aside for the time being. His supposed friends and Sirius were doing who knew what and not telling him a single thing. Him. The Boy-Who-Lived, the supposed key to everything, was being left out of the loop. He hadn't expected answers from Dumbledore. His friends though…and Sirius hadn't even asked him if he was okay after everything that'd happened at the cemetery. A shudder shook his body at the thought, images of Voldemort laughing, Cedric's body collapsing to the ground, his eyes lifeless.

The bright light from the necklace snapped Harry back to his current reality.

'You asked me a question and I gave you an answer. There's no point in lying to you,' the necklace read.

Harry glared at the necklace, a mix of anger and sadness surging through him. Was the necklace angry about being disturbed so early in the morning? It was a magical object, things like time shouldn't be a factor, but it had never answered with such a cruel sentence before.

"Fine, this can't be healthy anyway," he seethed. He dropped the necklace back onto the bedside table and turned his back on it. He didn't want to anger the one thing that was communicating with him, even if it was a magical object.

_It's a magical object, _he yelled at himself. It was, there was no denying that, but its words had still hurt him, and that scared him. It would probably be best not to interact with it so much. Tomorrow would be easier. He'd spent most of his day talking with it, so once he got some sleep the newness of the object would wear off, not to mention the dread of having no one to talk to. Now he had something that would at least answer him if he truly needed it. That was enough.

The next two days were uneventful. Harry spent most of his time lying in his Aunt's flowerbed trying to listen to the news or anything that would keep him from talking to the necklace. The later part of his plan proved harder than he'd thought it would. He'd awoken later the next day after his first "disagreement" with the necklace with every intention to ignore it, only to see the words 'Good morning' across its black sphere after he'd gotten dressed. He'd almost picked it up, his fingers inches from it when he'd remembered his decision not to talk with it unless he was absolutely in need of socialization or bored to tears.

From that point, it became a battle of stubbornness. Any time Harry stepped into the room the necklace would glow, usually asking him, what he was doing or if everything was all right. By that evening, Harry had gotten so fed up seeing the bright light he'd shoved the necklace into the bedside table drawer. With it safely shut away and Harry unable to see its' glow, he was able to ignore it easier and focus more on important issues, like Voldemort's rise to power. He'd expected with Voldemort having a real form now that he would have made some kind of move by now, but the Daily Prophet, Muggle newspaper, and news channels gave no hints at anything. Obviously, Voldemort had a great deal of more patience than Harry did. Waiting for Voldemort's big reveal and all the hell that would follow it was fury inducing.

_I shouldn't but…_ After three more days of nothing, he couldn't take it. He left the uncomfortable safety of his Aunt's flowerbed and went inside, his hands tightened into fists. He had to remind himself to remove his shoes and not to stomp his feet as he went up the stairs. Once he was in his room, he jerked the bedside table drawer open and removed the necklace from inside. Growling, he held it up inches from his face.

"Why isn't he doing anything," he demanded of it.

The green light flashed immediately.

'Who?'

"Voldemort!" The necklace seemed to hesitate, the light dimming, but remaining constant. "Answer me!" He gave the necklace a firm shirk, the pendant swinging back and forth haphazardly. There was a full flash.

_BANG!_

Harry's head jerked away from the necklace towards the window, his free hand pulling his wand out from his pant’s waistband. Heart thumping, he moved towards the window, the necklace flashing brighter this time than he'd ever known it to do, like it wanted his immediate attention. He stopped, looking down at the necklace.

'Stop.' He frowned, the words were gone and already being replaced. 'What is going on?'

"I don't know," Harry said. He moved cautiously towards the window, his wand ready, and peered out. A number of the neighbors were sticking their heads out of their own windows, some at their front doors, all of them wearing looks of concern or curiosity. "I don't see anything."

_SLAM!_

Harry hardly had time to register what was happening. He saw movement in the corner of his eye and turned to react, but before he could, his body slammed against the wall, fat fingers encasing his neck.

"What in the world do you think you're doing," the intruder demanded.

It took Harry a second to process what was happening. He was sure a Death Eater had found him, or Voldemort himself, when his vision stopped spinning just long enough for him to identify his attacker as Uncle Vernon.

"I!—" He tried to get more words out, but his uncle's grip had tightened. He dropped his wand and began prying at the fat fingers around his throat.

"Trying to give everyone a heart attack is what you're doing!" His uncle looked enraged, his face a dark purple.

_I'm going to die..._ Not by Voldemort, but by his idiot uncle.

Suddenly the entire room filled with a blinding light. Uncle Vernon released Harry as he screamed and covered his eyes. Harry managed to grab his wand and ran for his bedroom door.

"Petunia! He's trying to blind me!"

Harry threw the door open, his aunt already racing up the stairs. She looked just as mad as his uncle had. He pushed passed her as he ran down the stairs. His aunt let out a small scream herself and he dashed out the front door. He had to blink a few times to get his eyes to adjust as he walked. He slipped his wand back into his jeans, regret, and uneasiness filling him.

"They're going to kill me for that," he muttered. He was surprised to see a small bit of light coming from his left side. He lifted the necklace praying he wasn't breaking any anti-magic laws by having it outside of his bedroom.

'They were trying to kill you already,' it read.

_The light…_

"You saved me," Harry said. The full weight of that sunk in at once. The necklace had somehow known he was in danger and blinded his uncle with its light. If it hadn't, he wasn't sure his uncle would have let go this time.

'I wasn't about to let you die.'

The same warmth Harry had felt a few nights back returned to him. He smiled despite everything he'd just gone through. So, what if it was just a magical object? It was not only keeping him sane; it had protected him. Sure, he'd have to pay for all of that later, but for now, he was still alive.

"Thank you."

'…I will do what needs to be done to keep you safe.'

The last sentence was a bit creepy, but Harry did feel safe. He just needed somewhere to go so he could calm down. If he didn't, he might return the favor and attempt to kill his aunt and uncle.

Sounds of laughter drew his attention to the park he'd often played at by himself as a child. The swings and slide were showing signs of damage, the merry-go-round being the worst. The round metal piece of equipment was rusted and shrieked each time one of the children or wind turned it. Most of the kids were playing on the newer side of the playground. It was made from plastic instead of metal and included a twisty slide and climbing bars. Harry went for the swings on the older side and sat down.

"Do you know what that sound was," he asked the necklace. The children were far enough away so he didn't need to whisper.

The light remained dim but gave enough of a change for Harry to know it was working.

'Maybe.'

"I know you can hear things," Harry said, anger creeping into his voice. "You're the only one I can rely on right now." The sad, but horrible truth. Harry was alone here, with no backup and no signs of his friends or the one family member he had coming to save him. Ron and Hermione had hinted in his birthday card that they were together but had not bothered to offer him to join them. He'd have much rather joined them than have gotten boxes of chocolate. Chocolate didn't spare him from his uncle or his thoughts.

To Harry's horror the glow from the necklace vanished leaving behind nothing, but the empty black pool. He stared at it with wide eyes, waiting, mentally pleading, for the light to return. "You can't just turn off," he screamed at it. Had the light it'd used to blind his uncle been too much for it? Had he really overused the charm on it? Maybe it just needed time to rest like a Muggle's electronic did sometimes? That had to be the case. He'd only had it a few days. Even Ron's charmed items from the Quidditch World Cup had lasted a few weeks.

_It was a really bright light…_ Could he get another one? Maybe even have this one recharmed? It wasn't even real and yet he felt like he'd lost a close friend. He slipped the necklace on, relaxing slightly when he felt the heat coming from the pendant. It wasn't dead, just overused, he was sure of it. It needed time to cool off, just like Harry needed to relax. In a few hours, they'd both be back in normal working order.

"…. funny. The look on his face…" Laughter followed the words. Harry looked up from the ground. He must have drifted off at some point because as he took in his surroundings, he could see that the sun was already setting. He homed in on the voice, three forms in front of him, all of them easily recognizable, because of one. Dudley. While his cousin had been on a diet for the last year and had managed to lose some weight, his school had been mad enough to place him on the wrestling team. With that achievement had brought about Dudley being taught how to fight better and an excuse for him to eat whatever he wanted again, much to the dismay of all the children in the neighborhood.

Would Dudley and his friends spot him on the swing? A part of him wanted them to. Even though a few hours must have passed, his frustration was still present. If Dudley's friends spotted him, they would try to corner him; only things would get bad for Dudley, not Harry. Dudley's encounters with magic over the past few years were still fresh in his mind and he wouldn't want to risk giving Harry an excuse to use any on him. The internal fight Dudley would endure if his stupid friends spotted Harry however was enough to make him call out after them, almost.

_I shouldn't though…the only thing that cares about me right now is the necklace, and it can't save me from expulsion. _No, he needed to behave if he was going to make it back to Hogwarts. He might have to endure a summer of hell here with his aunt and uncle, but as long as he knew Hogwarts was at the end of that hell, he could manage.

With a sigh, he stood up from the swing and pulled the necklace out from under his shirt. He needed to get home before Dudley, or he'd be in even more trouble, but he also needed to check on his only companion. There was no writing, but the black sphere was glowing ever so dimly. He let out another breath, this one in relief.

"I'm glad you just need some rest. I promise not to bombard you with so many questions from now on," he muttered dropping the necklace back beneath his shirt. He watched and waited until he was trailing behind Dudley by a few feet. He listened with disgust as the three boys boasted about their latest victim. It reminded him of Draco and his two cronies, only Dudley was just listening to the other three talk. Harry doubted his cousin was feeling any remorse and found it strange. Dudley, like Draco, often joined in the bragging of their tortures of others.

"That kid didn't know what to do," Gordon said. "Did you see the look on his face when his back hit the fence?"

"Surprised he didn't wet himself," Piers said. "We should have harassed him more before taking his allowance." He nudged Dudley. "Right Dud?"

"Sure," Dudley said.

"We going out again tomorrow Big D?"

"Yeah," Dudley said.

"My parents are out of town," Gordon said.

"We can buy what we want and take it back to your place then," Piers said.

"Yeah," Dudley said.

"Bye Dud!"

"See ya, Big D!"

Harry nearly gaged hearing the nicknames. Did Dudley's so-called friends even realize how easy it was to make fun of those names? Big D was obvious enough, Dudley was big, huge in fact. How anyone could think it was good to be called, Big D was beyond him, but Dud? Really? Had all three of them failed English? Dudley was a dud; he was far too stupid to ever be a fully functional citizen unless they used him as a crash test doll for something.

_They're so stupid, _he thought shaking his head. At least Draco had some common sense even if he was a complete git.

He waited until Piers and Gordon were out of sight before he caught up with Dudley. He didn't like walking home with his cousin, but his aunt and uncle had decided long ago, if Harry ever came home after Dudley again, he'd be locked in the shed for the evening. Not exactly ideal with the heatwave they were having. Besides, with how angry he'd left his aunt and uncle, he could use his whale of a cousin as a shield or maybe as a distraction depending on their moods. Either way, he could make it into his bedroom before they realized he'd come back.

"So, you're Big D now, huh?"

Dudley turned, scowling when he saw that his companion was Harry.

"Belt it."

"Why? That's what _your_ friends called you, or would you rather I call you a dud?" He laughed and even in the fading light, Harry could see Dudley's face turning red.

"I said belt it!"

"They're pretty accurate nicknames, but I'd be pretty mad if my friends called me either."

He could see how badly Dudley wanted to hurt him, but every time his cousin seemed ready to act, his eyes would dart to Harry's jeans and he'd stop himself.

"You're a coward. You're only saying this because you have _that _with you," he snapped.

"I'm not stupid," Harry said grinning. "And no more of a coward than you are, jumping a ten-year-old with two other teenagers.

Dudley growled.

"Yeah, while at least I'm not screaming out in my sleep!"

Harry felt his insides turn cold.

"What?"

"Don't play stupid. Just last night you were moaning in your sleep. "Mom, Dad! Don't let him kill me! He killed Cedric, don't let him get me!"," he mocked in a high-pitched voice. "Who's Cedric anyway? Your boyfriend?"

Harry's wand was out before he knew it and aimed at Dudley's head. He hadn't done it consciously and when he saw that it was out, he decided he didn't care.

"You belt it," he growled.

"P, put that away!" Dudley took a small step back, Harry moving forward with him. "PUT IT AWAY!"

"You're never to speak of that again!"

"MUM AND DAD SAID YOU COULDN'T!"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR MUM AND DAD SAID!"

Tears began pouring down Dudley’s face at this point and yet Harry still couldn't get himself to fully care. He knew he should, that while Dudley deserved to be bullied for all the things that he'd done, that this wasn't right, but how dare he?! Dudley didn't understand, no one did! He was fourteen and had been forced to watch Cedric die, because the older teen was in the wrong place at the wrong time, caught in a trap set for Harry.

_I should have died. _The thought whipped across his mind. He'd been trying to fight it back for weeks now, but now that he'd allowed it through his defenses, he knew how right it was. Cedric should have never died. Voldemort wanted him, not Cedric, yet Harry was still standing and Cedric…Cedric was…

"STOP IT!" The shrill voice brought Harry back. His wand was still up, but Dudley had moved away from him, his voice pleading. "STOP, PLEASE!"

Harry wasn't sure what Dudley was talking about at first. He wasn't casting any spell, in fact, his wand wasn't even pointed at Dudley anymore. His hand had fallen to his side when he'd realized why everyone was ignoring him. The wrong person had died. Then it hit him. All the lights were gone. The stars and streetlamps, any lights that had been cast from the many houses along their path, all of them were gone.

"I'm blind!"

"You're not blind," Harry yelled. "Just belt it for a second— "

"Just stop it!"

"I'm not doing it!"

_There's no way…_ Harry gave a quick look around, but there was still no light in sight. He moved towards Dudley's whimpering voice.

"Shh!"

"NO! YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!"

"I AM NOT!"

The one time Harry didn't want Dudley in a state of terror and he was in one. The familiar icy chill hit Harry all at once.

_Dementors…but how?!_

His breath caught in his throat, the cold stealing it away from him.

"I'M TELLING ON YOU!" Dudley began running. Harry turned, his eyes widening.

"YOU'RE RUNNING RIGHT FOR IT!"

Dudley stopped, but it was too late. The cloaked figure swooped in from the side, it's long skeleton-like fingers grabbing Dudley by the throat, just as a hand went for Harry's own. His world went dark.

_Just let go…there's no reason for you to live. No one wants you anymore, not after you let Cedric die. It's all your fault. You should have died…. besides, in death, you'll feel no pain. Perhaps the people you care so much for will forgive you if you die. You can join your parents…_

'HARRY!'

Harry's eyes snapped open.

"_Expecto Patronum!"_

A small silvery wisp of smoke came out of Harry's wand, but nothing else. He needed a happy memory, but his life had been so horrible lately that none came to mind.

_Still…_

"_Expecto Patronum!" _The same effect. He was just destined to die today, wasn't he? Uncle Vernon hadn't managed it, so a Dementor was sent in to finish the job. What were the chances? How had they even gotten into a Muggle town anyway? He'd never get to see Sirius again, or tell his friends how angry he was at their abandonment. He wouldn't get to see Hogwarts. But maybe this was okay...

'HARRY!'

_That voice…_ Harry wasn't sure where it was coming from. It seemed to be in his mind, but that was impossible. It had to be someone else, Dudley maybe. A shadow in the shape of a human appeared before him, its eyes glowing bright red.

"_EXPECTO PATRONUM!" _A Stag erupted from Harry's wand shoving the Dementor that was holding him away and then slammed into the second one attacking Dudley. The lights returned, each one blinding Harry as he fell onto his knees, his energy drained. He glanced to where the shadow had been, but there was nothing. _I don't have time for this. _He scrambled back to his feet and ran towards Dudley. The Dementor had been close to kissing his cousin, had he been too late? Dudley was on the ground curled up in a ball, sobbing.

"Dudley!"

The only answer he got was another whimper.

Footsteps caught Harry's attention and he turned around, ready to fight again. A few feet away and moving towards them, was his neighbor Mrs. Figg. Her hair was a mess and she was clutching her purse tight in her hand. Harry tried to shove his wand into his pants pocket, but she grabbed his wrist and held it.

"Don't put that away! What if there's more of them," she hissed. She let out a small scream and pointed to Harry's side. "THERE!"

Harry turned, ready, but stopped just as quickly. Standing beside him was not a Dementor, but the same shadow figure he'd seen before.

_Why did seeing this give me the happiness to cast my Patronus?_

"That's not…" The shadow gave him a look over before it melted into the darkness.

He instantly felt a twinge of loneliness. He didn't know why, but he didn't want the shadow to go. He took a step towards where the shadow had been and stopped when he felt a hand on his arm.

"We need to go_ now," _Mrs. Figg said. "Oh, wait until I get my hands on Mundungus! I'll kill him!" She removed her hand from Harry's arm.

Harry knew he needed to get Dudley up and moving so they could get inside. The Dementors could return at any moment, but for some reason, he just couldn't stop staring at where the shadow had been.

"Come on!"

"R, right." He gave his head a firm shake. He could think about the shadow later.

**(TBC)**


	2. A Beginning to an End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: This story is shonen-ai, yaoi, slash, Harry Potter/ Tom Riddle eventually, Draco Malfoy/ Ron Weasley eventually. Don’t like, don’t read.  
Notes: While this is technically Harry’s fifth year, it is the first story in the Wizard series. It reads Lament, Redemption (year 6), Past (year 4). Years 7 and beyond are not written yet.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump.

For just a moment, it was too much. Mrs. Figg, the woman he'd believed to be nothing more than his neighbor and a crazy cat woman, was flinging her arms into the air cursing someone named Mundungus as she paced around, obviously distraught. Harry would have believed she had simply slipped into an even crazier mindset than usual, but most of her sentences began with "Dementors, here! Of all places!" before they finished in a far more creative way that surprised Harry to hear come from an older woman's mouth.

Dudley had remained curled up on the ground, his arms wrapped tightly around his knees, tears streaming down his face. He was muttering and when Harry bent down to listen, he was surprised to hear the same words being repeated again and again by his cousin.

"Sorry, I'm sorry! Sorry!" Every sentence broke off into a sob before he started again. A broken tape.

While the other two people around him panicked, Harry used the time to scan the area around them. He frowned when he saw no signs of the shadow anywhere. Had he been seeing things? Perhaps because of the mental anguish brought on by the Dementors, he’d seen… what? It really had been nothing more than a shadow with glowing eyes and yet it somehow, felt so familiar.

"We need to move," Mrs. Figg said. "Of course that useless thing is still blubbering! Get up!" She attempted and failed to pry one of Dudley's fat arms from around his knees. She gave him a swat with her string tied purse. "Get up! Never have I ever seen such a useless child!"

Harry briefly remembered Gordon calling Dudley ‘Dud’ and held back a snicker. Now was not the time, nor did he think Mrs. Figg was being entirely fair. Dudley had almost been kissed by a Dementor, something he understood all too well.

"I'll try," he said. My some miracle he managed to get Dudley to release his legs and back onto his feet without much hassle, if you ignored the fact that he would never be able to walk properly again due to the strain such a task put on his body. For a second Dudley seemed to be okay, and then he lurched to the side, all of his weight nearly crushing him. Harry groaned, his legs threatening to give, tears rushing to his eyes, and yet, beyond reason, remained standing. How Dudley moved with so much weight on his body was beyond Harry.

"Quick, in case they come back!"

Harry wanted to tell her he was trying, but his neighbor was already too far ahead of him and he really didn't think he'd be able to talk while hoisting Dudley. He'd be lucky if he got his cousin home and didn't throw his back out in the process.

"Oh! When I get my hands on him!" She seemed to realize Harry wasn't beside her because she turned around and gave him a quick wave. "There's nothing I can do if they come back, you must hurry!"

_There's nothing I can do right now either, _Harry thought angrily. If the Dementors returned there was no way Harry would be able to get to his wand fast enough to save them. Not while he was trying to keep Dudley or himself from falling onto the street.

"Trying," Harry breathed out. The words almost cost him any strength he had left, him and his cousin almost toppling to the ground. He stopped to get his breath back and started again. _You need to wake up you whale!_ Harry knew it was stupid, but he had to stop. He leaned Dudley against a light post, his cousin sinking to the ground where he continued to sob.

"Don't stop," Mrs. Figgs shouted.

"I hate Dementors, but I can stop them," Harry said. "But only if I have enough breath to cast the spell," he finished.

"O, only for a moment!" She began pacing again and wringing her hands. Harry closed his eyes and placed his forehead against the light post. The cold metal felt great on his skin. He knew he'd be sorry when he had to hoist Dudley up again in a moment. But if he didn’t take a short break right now, he wouldn’t make it back to the Dursley’s house. His muscles were already sore, and he was sure he'd be in pain the next few days. Maybe if he wrote to Madam Pomfrey she’d take pity on him and send him a pain elixir.

"W, what's that?" Mrs. Figgs jerked around, her eyes wide as her gaze snapped from one spot to another.

Harry was about to ask her what when his ears caught what was barely a whisper of a growl. It stopped, if it had really been there to begin with.

"I think we're just on edge," Harry said, leaning down to pull Dudley back up. They began their trek down the street slow as ever. Harry regretted taking the break, as much as he'd needed one. His body was shouting at him more than ever now, begging him to take another rest. He could see the turn for their street, but knew if he put Dudley down again, his mind and body would refuse to lug him up for a third time.

The lights in the light posts began flickering again, each one of them growing dim.

"Shite…"

"I knew we shouldn't have took a break," Mrs. Figgs screamed. She ran over to Harry, lifting one of Dudley's arms up and threw it over her shoulder, trying to help move them along faster.

Harry trudged forward, waiting for the depressing thoughts and cold wind to blow in, but neither did. The lights flickered again and sure enough went out leaving the three stranded in the middle of the street in darkness.

"Just keep going," Harry said. He was sure he could use his Patronus again if he needed to, but how many Dementors would there be this time? He didn't think he could drive more than two or three Dementors, away again and get Dudley home. He wasn't even sure if he would remain conscious if he had to drive another group of Dementors off.

"Oh, I'm so going to kill him," Mrs. Figg said in a harsh whisper.

With Mrs. Figg's help, they managed to go slightly faster, but nothing more. Harry remained on guard for the signs that a Dementor was near, but five minutes later, there was still nothing.

"This is weird," Harry muttered. Dementors didn't wait. They swooped in as soon as they located their prey. Harry could feel that they were being watched and followed, but it seemed it wasn’t by Dementors.

His eyes had begun to adjust to the darkness, so he started to look around. A quick movement to his right, another whispered growl and then nothing.

_Not a Dementor, _he thought. He knew immediately that whatever he was dealing with was a threat, but he didn't know to what extent. His hair was standing on end and his gut told him to run, but he couldn't just leave Dudley and Mrs. Figg.

Two more quick movements caught his attention, both blurs in the darkness around them. The growling was still low, but clear now, definitely there.

"No," Mrs. Figg gasped. "Use your wand!"

Harry gaped at her. What exactly was he supposed to do with his wand? He didn't even know what was coming after them. The growls grew louder. The blurs that ran past them now had silver sheens to them. Harry had no idea how many of the creatures were there, but he knew they were in trouble.

"What am I supposed to do," Harry asked quickly.

"They're Gytrash boy! Use Lumos!"

"Lumos?" That was easy enough. The problem was Dudley. There was no way he could shift all of Dudley's weight to Mrs. Figg. "We have to put Dudley down."

"Just drop him!" As if to show Harry his cousin didn't matter, she moved out from under him. The sudden imbalance had Harry falling to the side with Dudley. Dudley hit the ground, Harry landing next to him. A burning pain erupted in Harry's arm, a hiss escaping from his lips. "Use Lumos!" Mrs. Figgs was practically weeping now.

"_LUMOS!" _The entire street lit up. Harry caught a glimpse of what looked to be three white dogs with forked tails, baring their teeth at them as they slunk back. Harry held his wand up, the light growing. The brighter the light grew, the faster the silver dogs backed away. When it was evident the light wasn't going away, they let out howls and darted back into the darkened areas of the neighborhood.

"Keep your wand lit," Mrs. Figgs instructed.

Harry nodded and began to bend down to help grab Dudley. He hissed again as the burning sensation came back and looked at his left arm, blood pouring down from the upper half. He stared at it dumbfounded, trying to think what could have possibly happened.

"We need to go," Mrs. Figg said, sternly. Her eyes fell on Harry's arm and she groaned. "Were you bit!?"

"I don't know…" The creature must have lunged at him when he'd bent down to get Dudley. There was too much blood to tell if he was bit or scratched. "I think it scratched me. Nothing ever clamped down on my arm."

"We must get you inside!"

It was the longest walk ever back to Number Four Privet Drive. It took all of the energy he had to get down the street with Dudley while keeping his wand lit. He noticed Dudley was no longer making any noise, but just staring with a blank expression on his face. Harry was sure he was in shock. He sympathized with his cousin somewhat, but his annoyance won out since he was stuck dragging the boy.

_Finally… _Harry heaved Dudley up the front porch step, all of his muscles straining. He knew he'd be sore for the next few weeks, months maybe.

"Okay, just go in and don't come out until you hear from someone! I'll tell Dumbledore what happened— "

"You know Dumbledore," Harry asked in disbelief.

"Who doesn't know Dumbledore," she asked back. "Oh that Mundungus! He knew I was a Squibb and he still left! How am I supposed to do anything?!" She shook her head, her face turning red. "I'll kill him is what I'll do! Ran off to buy stolen Cauldrons! If Mr. Tibbles hadn't been on the job!" She turned back to Harry. She now looked like she was about to cry. "I'm so sorry! Oh, I WILL KILL HIM! And if not me, Dumbledore!" She shook her head again. "Quick, inside and STAY inside!" She started fast walking again, stopped once more. "AND PUT SOME HEALING CREAM ON YOUR ARM! IF IT TURNS BLUE WRITE SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY!"

Harry watched her run off back towards her house before he could even register half of her rant.

"My arm might turn blue," he repeated quietly. Mrs. Figg's front door slammed shut after she disappeared inside leaving the two boys outside alone. Whom exactly was he supposed to write if his arm turned blue? No one seemed to be reading the letters he sent, was there even a point? Maybe he would have to write Madam Pomfrey. She was a healer and didn’t healers have to help the wounded like Muggle doctors had to?

"Okay Dudley, I need you to be okay," he whispered opening the door. He gave his cousin a slight shove with his good arm and watched. When his cousin didn't fall flat on his face, he inched in behind him.

"Dudley! We were getting worried," Aunt Petunia said walking towards her son. "Where have you been…What's wrong…?" She seemed to have noticed the green tint of Dudley's face and his blank gaze.

Dudley opened his mouth, tried to say something, and closed it again.

Well that was a good start. If he could respond to Aunt Petunia’s words in even the smallest way, it meant his soul hadn’t been sucked out.

"Dudley?" Aunt Petunia's voice began to raise in alarm now. "What happened? Are you all right? Were you robbed!?"

"Robbed," Uncle Vernon, repeated with a laugh. "No one could take on our wrestling champion!"

Dudley managed a shake of his head. He seemed to realize he wouldn't be getting any words out because after another failed attempt at talking he lifted his hand and pointed it at Harry.

Harry mentally cursed. Of course, his cousin would regain some of his minimal mental functions before he made his escape to his bedroom.

"YOU," Uncle Vernon shouted. He closed in on Harry, luckily grabbed his unhurt arm, and jerked him back into the living room. "What did you do?!"

"Nothing!"

"First you try to give people heart attacks and then blind me! Now you attack Dudley?!" He threw Harry onto the nearest stuffed chair and got right into his face. "HOW DARE YOU!"

"I DIDN'T ATTACK HIM!"

"Oho! You're not even allowed to use magic," Uncle Vernon said, gleefully. "You'll be in big trouble now!" He seemed to finally notice that Harry was bleeding, his eyes widening. "You'll ruin the chair boy!" He pulled Harry off the chair, Harry staggering towards the doorway. He was beginning to feel dizzy. "HA! You attacked Dudley so he managed to fight you off!"

"I DIDN'T!" An owl dived into the house through one of the Dursley's windows and landed in front of Harry. It dropped a letter at Harry's feet and flew off.

"Bloody owls!"

Harry opened the letter quickly, his mouth falling open as he did so. Expelled? He'd been expelled for saving Dudley and his own life? Surely, there was some sort of exception to the rule about using magic in front of Muggles while underage when it came to keeping your soul and blood inside your body.

_And they're going to destroy my wand? _How could he defend himself against Voldemort with no wand? He had to run before they took it.

"Move," he said dropping the letter.

"DON'T YOU DARE—"

A loud crack followed by the intrusion of another owl. It landed on Harry's shoulder. Harry recognized the old owl as Ron's family owl and took the letter off its leg.

Dumbledore is at the ministry getting everything sorted out! DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LEAVE YOUR AUNT'S AND UNCLE'S HOUSE. AND DO NOT USE ANY MAGIC! AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT GIVE YOUR WAND TO ANYONE!

Arthur Weasley

Harry dropped the letter. What could Dumbledore possibly do at the ministry? Harry wanted so badly to start the day over, the entire year really.

"What are all these owls doing in my house," Uncle Vernon screamed.

"I saved your son's life and now they're trying to expel me from school for it," Harry screamed.

That seemed to get their attention. The two adults looked at each other, both of them shifting uncomfortably, their eyes wide, mouths tight. Their faces paled before Aunt Petunia turned around narrowing her eyes at Harry.

"You honestly expect us to believe that," Aunt Petunia asked, in her condescending tone. "That you would actually _save _Dudley?"

"Did you think I'd let him die," Harry asked, in disbelief. He knew he wasn't on good terms with his cousin, with any of the people in the house, but did they actually believe he would just let a Dementor steal Dudley's soul or one of those creatures attack him? Harry wasn't that heartless, though sometimes like now, he wondered. Did he come off as the type of person who would abandon Dudley when real danger was present?

"What did you do to him," Uncle Vernon demanded, again. Some of his anger seemed to have faded.

"Nothing! We were walking back home and these Dementors came. If they manage to kiss you then they're able to steal your soul! I had to use a Patronus to stop them. Then we got attacked by some weird dogs, that's how I got this." He motioned to his left arm. The adrenalin he'd been feeling before was beginning to fade. He was starting to feel light-headed and he just wanted to hide somewhere. Why did he have to deal with this? They should be thanking him, he'd saved his stupid cousin.

"A what? You really—"

"Why are there Dementors here," Aunt Petunia asked, quietly. The question had both Harry and Vernon looking at her in shock.

"Probably, because Voldemort's back," Harry said, evenly. At least he was getting through to his Aunt. Petunia glanced at Dudley. He had sat down on the couch and had started turning back to a normal color. She seemed satisfied with that and turned back to Harry.

"When," she asked, her voice cold and what sounded like fear.

"Right before school let out," Harry said. He almost added when he'd been attacked but decided against it. If they thought Harry would bring about any more disaster than they already believed he had, they'd kick him out of the house for sure.

"What do I do to help Dudley?" It sounded like she'd been forced under torture to say those words.

"Chocolate," Harry said. "Any kind of chocolate."

She sniffed and gave a slight nod.

"Go to your room and do not come out," she snapped. "And don't stain anything with your blood!"

Harry didn't have to be told again. He bolted up the stairs before his aunt could change her mind. He could hear his uncle asking Petunia if she'd lost her mind before he shut the door to the bathroom. He locked it and rested his back against it. He'd never thought his aunt would actually hear him out. And, listen to him? The world must be ending.

Making sure to be careful, he washed the blood off his arm. He didn't know which was worse, a bite or a scratch, but he was pretty sure he'd been scratched. He didn't see anything that looked even vaguely like a bite mark. He dried his arm off just as cautiously as he'd cleaned it and went into his room.

For some reason he suddenly felt very alone. It might have been a side effect from the Dementors, but he wasn't sure. He looked towards the bedroom window. He didn't see or sense anything, but the loneliness wouldn't fade. He also noticed that all the streetlamps and porch lights had finally come back on.

He went over to his trunk and began looking for his tube of healing cream. He found it halfway down under some books and took it out. After opening it up, he gently rubbed some of the cream onto his arm. It stung slightly at first, but the two dark red lines on his arm lightened a good deal.

He grabbed one of the discarded boxes of chocolate before collapsing onto his bed and removed a piece from the box, popping it into his mouth. The creamy flavor and smooth texture should have been enough to help but didn't.

_Why do I feel this way? _He couldn't remember Dementors ever leaving such a long-lasting effect. He wanted to be around his friends, to be with Sirius, with someone, anyone at this point, but there was no one. _Or…_ His hand went into his shirt and pulled out the necklace. It was warm to the touch, comforting somehow.

"My whole world is wrong," he said, sitting up and resting on his good arm. "My aunt actually listened to me, there were Dementors and some dogs in a Muggle town, and now the Ministry wants to expel me for using magic." Why was everyone being so unreasonable? Had he slipped into a parallel universe? He hoped so and hoped he'd be leaving it very soon. "Supposedly Dumbledore is going to fix things but how can he," he snapped at the necklace. "Why aren't any of my friends writing me, or Sirius?!"

Harry hadn't intended for the necklace to answer this time, but he had asked a question. The abyss inside the necklace began swirling, its green light coming to life. The words began forming, Harry's heart sinking.

'Are you sure they understand what happened at the end of the school year?' The words shimmered, a new sentence appearing. 'Perhaps you believed they still cared for you after the incident and were mistaken?'

"No, Ron, Hermione, and I, we've been through too much!"

'Then why aren't they writing you?'

A growl escaped Harry's lips.

"I DON'T KNOW!" He grabbed the box of chocolates on the bed and threw it into the wall. The pieces inside rained across the room, all of them landing on the floor. Because he did know why. Or, he was pretty sure he did. The looks of pity, of fear, when he'd left the graveyard with Cedric's dead body. The questions, the looks of horror and disbelief that had followed. His entire support group had stood down the second they'd found out Voldemort was back. Somehow, Harry had failed them. He'd allowed the dark lord to come back and everyone was disgusted with him for that. How was he supposed to have known though?! He never once would have thought that the trophy had been turned into a Port Key! Cedric hadn't noticed either. They'd both blindly fell for the trap, Cedric had died, and Harry was getting to live through the aftermath of it. No one trusted him anymore and he couldn't blame them, but did they have to treat him like he'd done everything on purpose?

"I didn't mean for Cedric to die," Harry said, his shoulders shaking. "I didn't want Voldemort back! If I knew it was going to happen, I'd have let those vines grab me and drag me out of the maze!"

'It doesn't matter what your intentions were. It won't change their minds; they aren't listening to you.'

Harry knew the necklace was right and it angered him off even more. How could his friends abandon him? Did they really think he'd purposely allowed Voldemort to regain power or for Cedric to die? They knew him better than that!

He grabbed one of his pillows and threw it at the window. It bounced off harmlessly and fell to the floor. Why were people such arseholes?! And why did they abandon you the second you needed them the most?! He couldn't even deny anything to the necklace, because he'd be lying and what was the point of that? He knew his friendships weren't strong. Ron had ditched him without protest the second he thought Harry had put his own name into the Goblet. Hermione had barely looked at him once the term had officially ended, and Sirius. His only real family had gone from promising him everything to silence.

He screamed leaping to his feet and grabbed his trunk. He jerked the lid open and began throwing everything he could that was inside of it. His books slammed into walls, the door. Potion bottles smashed into things shattering. He saw his large stack of parchment and ink well. He ripped the paper in half and opened his window. He chucked the ink well as hard as he could out of it. It flew across the fence and landed in another neighbor's yard. He brought his foot down on a number of smaller items for Astronomy class, pleased to hear their cracking sound, thrilled when the pieces felt like sand beneath his shoes.

When the room looked like a storm had destroyed it, he fell back onto his bed, tears streaming down his face. His head was throbbing horribly. He kicked his shoes off and climbed under the covers. He'd already lost his parents, why did he have to lose everyone else now too?

He buried his face into his pillow and cried. This wasn't fair. He hadn't asked for any of this. Why hadn't Voldemort just killed him when he was a baby? Things would have been so much simpler. No worrying about grades, about the Dursleys, about war, or the fact that his friends had disowned him.

The hot tears flowed faster. Would Dumbledore really set things straight so he wouldn't be expelled? Did it really matter? Even if he went back to school, what was the point? If his friends had decided he wasn't worth the trouble, he might as well just stay at the Dursleys' or maybe they'd send him to Azkaban for the use of magic in front of a Muggle.

He sobbed at the thought of being imprisoned and surrounded by Dementors. There was no way he could survive Azkaban. The Dementors would surely take him. It was his fault his parents were dead. That Cedric was dead. Even if he hadn't killed them, if he hadn't been around, all three of them would still be alive, and how many more?

The tears and sobs continued. He waited for the Dursleys to come upstairs and yell at him for the commotion, but they never did. Perhaps they knew better.

**(X)**

Harry stirred and frowned when he saw the light shining through his window. He groaned rolling over in bed, his hand covering his eyes. His head was screaming, and he didn't know why. He hadn't thought he'd ever fall asleep last night, but somehow, he'd drifted off. At first, he thought he'd run out of energy after throwing his tantrum, but the more he thought about it, that didn't seem right. He'd drifted off in peace.

_Arms…? _He was sure of it. He'd felt arms wrapped around him, but that was crazy. There wasn't anyone around to hold Harry and no one that would want to if there had been. Maybe he'd just been so distraught he'd imagined being held by someone.

_How pathetic can you get?_

He turned back over and opened his eyes again. The headache intensified, his brain pulsating. It almost felt like he'd been hit in the head.

_I have to clean up this mess before anyone sees it. _If the Dursleys came into his room and saw the huge mess he'd made, he'd be in bigger trouble with them than he was with the ministry.

He managed to sit up, the room spinning before him. It wasn't as if this was the first time he'd drifted off in tears or thrown a fit. Why was this one having such horrible aftereffects? It felt worse than a normal headache, worse than the migraines he'd sometimes ended up with in the nurse's office at the Muggle school due to stress. Had the Dementors done something to him? Was it, because of the silver dogs?

It took a few tries, but Harry managed to shove himself up into a standing position. For a second he thought he'd collapse back onto the bed, but his world somewhat straightened itself out. Slowly, he approached the first pile of debris and frowned. All the tiny instruments he'd destroyed the night before were pieced back together. He picked up one of the small cups he used to measure potion ingredients. It showed no signs of being stepped on and smashed from the night before.

_How? _Was he losing his mind? A slow look around had him sitting back down on his bed. Everything that he'd destroyed had been fixed and placed into multiple piles around his room. Even the inkwell he'd chucked out the window was sitting next to his trunk beside the parchment he'd most certainly ripped in half. He couldn't have dreamed the fit, his items were still scattered, just fixed.

There was no letter in the room accusing him of using under aged magic either.

Had someone snuck into his room to check on him and fixed all of his possessions? And, if so…. Harry shuddered. Had that person, whoever they were, climbed into his bed without him feeling a thing until they'd put their arms around him? It was scary to think that someone had snuck into his room, but even worse that they'd crawled into his bed. He couldn't exactly write to anyone about it, they'd just think he was crazy. They'd chide him for throwing the tantrum, claim he was mad that all of his supposed destroyed items were fixed, and finish it with disgust that he hadn't had enough sense to throw the person who'd put their arms around him out of his bed.

Maybe if the person in question meant him harm, he'd do Harry a favor and dispose of him while he was asleep.

A blush formed across Harry's cheeks as he remembered the night before. Regardless if some stranger was breaking into his room, he'd felt calm, even safe in those arms. A thought occurred to him and he pulled the necklace out from beneath his shirt.

"Did someone sneak into my room last night after I went to sleep?"

The necklace did nothing. Harry felt the blood draining from his face. Had he harmed the necklace in his outburst? It'd been under his shirt, safe, how could he have done anything to it? He'd been throwing things across the room, not getting hit and it'd worked after the Dementors and the dog incident.

"H, hey!" He gave the necklace a good shake. It swung back and forth, as a normal necklace would. Maybe it needed more time to recharge, but now was not a good time for Harry for it to do so. Was he really going mad? Had the necklace ever worked to begin with? What if he'd just been so desperate for someone to talk to, he'd imagined every conversation with the thing? If so, what had broken the madness? Now he'd be alone again!

Tears threatened to pour out once more until he saw a thin sliver of light break through the abyss. It grew until it consumed the whole necklace and words began forming.

'What's wrong?'

Relief flooded Harry to a degree that wasn't healthy. He hugged the necklace, his face burning as he forced back tears and laughed.

"N, nothing. I thought I was losing my mind," he said moving the necklace back so he could look down at the pendant. He stroked the side of it. It was smooth and cold, calming. "I don't understand what's going on anymore. Maybe I am mad." He laughed again, louder this time. "But as long as you're talking to me, I think I can handle it."

The light swirled with the darkness again, Harry watching its beautiful dance. Even if he was, mad as long as he had someone to talk to. As long as the necklace hadn't abandoned him like everyone else.

'You need to calm down. Yesterday put a strain on both of us.'

"Both of us?" He then remembered the flash of light that had blinded his uncle and saved him from being choked. "R, right. I'll let you rest, I just…I thought someone had broken into the room and…"

_I have lost my mind…. _He was talking to the necklace as if it were a living thing. But it was the only friend he had and not just now, perhaps for whatever remained of his life. If Ron and Hermione turned their backs on him, this was his last resort at any kind of friendly communication. Would the necklace get angry with him if he pestered it when it was recharging or if he said the wrong things? If he asked the wrong questions? Did magical objects respond that way?

"Sorry for bothering you," he muttered. Even if the chance was slim that the necklace could get angry with him, he couldn't risk it. "Would it be better if I put the necklace back in the drawer so there isn't so much light?" He would just have to wait to ask it about the intruder. It probably wouldn't know anyway. It'd taken Harry a few jostles to get it working again, so the chances that it'd been on while he slept was unlikely.

He jumped slightly at the sudden bright light. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn't looked at the pendant to read its answer right away.

'Just lie back down on the bed.'

"I have to clean up this mess; if the Dursleys see it they'll kill me."

'Let them try. Now get back into bed.'

_Why is it ordering me into the bed? _Hesitantly he approached his bed. Nothing seemed off about it. It looked no different than it had all the other times he'd gotten into it. He climbed on cautiously, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, he placed his head on his pillow and stretched out his body.

"Okay, I'm on the bed. I don't see how this helps."

A bright green light bathed Harry's entire body. It grew, spreading out from his bed to engulf the entire room until all Harry could see was light. He closed his eyes trying to stop the onslaught and then he was flying. His body felt light, his mind at ease, almost as if he'd drank a calming draught and a Butterbeer. The bed was wonderfully soft and yet it barely registered in his mind, he knew it was there, but then it wasn't either. This feeling of warmth and comfort spread through his entire body, then darkness.

**(TBC)**


	3. The Arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m currently in the middle of recovering from surgery and since I can’t do anything, I’m trying to write. I’m sure you’ve noticed it’s a slow process, I’m horribly fatigued, so chapters are slow right now. I do apologize for that. If any of my chapters bring any kind of joy, then at least I’ve done something.  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever. Tom Riddle/ Harry Potter

The hallway seemed to go on forever, torches set every few feet inside stone holders attached to the wall. The swaying flames cast numerous shadows, each of them dancing hypnotically across the never-ending hall. Every time he saw them, he would stop and watch. The shadows began to taunt him; the room spinning as his eyes darted from one to the next.

He forced himself to take a step forward, another. The dancing halted. The room stopped spinning. He leaned against the stone wall, his eyes adjusting to the now dim light before he dared to glance back. Any signs of the entrapment were gone.

_I have to keep moving…. _He wasn't sure how he knew this, but he did. If he didn't keep moving, something horrible would happen, something he could prevent. He began walking faster. There was no time left. If he didn't make it... He could hear footsteps coming up behind him now, more than one. They were trying to stop him from his goal, but if they caught him, someone important to him was going to die.

The hall grew dimmer, his fast walk turning into a full-blown run. If he could just make it to the end. Before him was a large, thick wooden door. The footsteps grew closer. He was almost there.

_CRASH!_

Harry lurched up in bed, sweat pouring down his face, his breath coming out in gasps. He switched on the lamp sitting on his bedside table. The dark room illuminated, revealing Hedwig's cage on the floor and rolling towards his bed. One quick look told him Hedwig was not in the cage, nor his room. His eyes closed as he let out a sigh. Thank goodness she was safe. He sunk back down onto the bed, waiting for his breathing to even out. What would he have done if she'd been hurt? Maybe, just maybe, if she had been hurt, Hagrid would come fetch her if he pleaded with him in a letter. Surely his friends’ abandonment didn’t extend to Hedwig and her wellbeing.

Calmed, he climbed off the bed and approached the cage. Given the distance between where the dresser stood and where the cage had landed on the floor, there was no way it had just somehow fallen. Even if it had, Hedwig's cage had never once fallen off the dresser. He lifted the cage and set it down on top of the dresser, waiting to see if it would fly across the room again. When nothing happened, he gave the dresser a hard push. The cage didn’t budge.

_As long as she isn't hurt. _There was no indication that Hedwig had been in his room when the cage had fallen. _Actually… _He turned towards the window. It was shut. He gave the cage a slow look over to see if anything on it had broken or gave any hint as to why it had fallen in the first place but could find nothing.

"Weird." He sat down on his bed, watching on the cage. Nothing. Satisfied it wouldn't move again, he dropped onto his back on the bed. At least something different had occurred. Harry had begun to think he was trapped in a repeating cycle of waking up, eating when he could get himself to, and going back to sleep. He had never thought it possible for someone to sleep as much as he had within the past few days, but there’d be no reason to stay awake. No letters telling him anything, no visits from Ministry. Maybe he’d dreamed the entire run in with the Dementors. It was that or the Ministry of Magic had forgotten about him as well. Not that that bothered him. He was perfectly fine with staying in bed and sleeping the rest of his life away with the necklace grasped in his hand.

Sighing, he wrapped his fingers around the necklace pendant and closed his eyes. At first, he'd been worried about his new behavior. Sleeping all the time was not a good habit to have, but then neither was having a magical object as your only friend and source of interaction. He'd tried fighting it, but as the days ticked on and still no one bothered to write him, he realized there was no point. The necklace gave him a sense of peace that allowed him to forget everything going on in his life. If nothing was going to happen, why bother being awake for it? It was so much easier to let the necklace lull him into a false sense of security where he could dream about a life that didn't include Voldemort. Not that all of his dreams were pleasant. Every now and then, the one with the hallway would slip in….

The hallway in his dream bothered him. Why was he seeing it now? Did it have something to do with all the stress he was under? He'd never had any dreams even remotely similar to it until after Cedric's death.

He turned over so he was facing his door.

"Huh?" He climbed off the bed and went straight to his bedroom door. Right at eye level was a piece of paper taped to it.

We've left for the evening. No magic and STAY inside this room.

"Like I have anywhere to go," Harry said, rolling his eyes. No one was coming to get him unless someone from the Ministry stopped by to grab his wand. Leaving the house was no longer an option unless he wanted to risk Dementors and weird rabid dogs chasing after him. The thought made him glance down at his arm. He sat back down on the bed, leaving the note taped to his door, and removed the Band-Aid he'd covered the scratch marks with. To his relief he didn't see any blue tint to his skin and even better, the scratches looked like a minor paper cuts compared to the small gash he'd had a few days before.

"Sure, took it long enough to heal," he muttered pressing the Band-Aid back down. No sense in giving the scratch a chance to get infected. With the way his luck was right now, he'd get gangrene while sleeping in his bed. He pulled the necklace out from under his shirt. "Pretty sure my arm isn't going to fall off. Why would an attack from…?" What had Mrs. Figg called it? "A Gatrash cause your arm to turn blue?" He'd been sleeping so much he hadn't had a proper Q and A session with the necklace since the morning after the attack.

The familiar light responded immediately. Grinning, he sat up with his back against the wall, his feet stretched out before him.

'Gytrash.' Harry could just hear the annoyance in those words.

"Okay a Gytrash," he repeated the words rolling his eyes. If he hadn't known any better, he'd think Hermione had charmed the necklace.

The words vanished, replaced soon by another sentence.

'They produce enough poison in their bites to kill an adult wizard. You were lucky. You were only scratched.'

Harry winced at the words. No wonder Mrs. Figg had been so worried. He was glad he hadn't asked before now.

"And yet no one came to check up on me or even wrote to ask me if my arm was falling off," his said the irritation in his voice clear.

'I would not have let you die.'

Harry stroked the pendant, his gaze shifting to the ceiling. The pendant had indeed saved him from his uncle by giving off a bright flash of light, but could it really neutralize a poison? And if it could, just what exactly was this necklace capable of? Had Dumbledore charmed the necklace so it would protect him? He did need help; he couldn't deny that. Maybe the necklace was the only way Dumbledore could send him help right now.

His train of thought didn't seem that important. Whatever the necklace was, whatever it could do, it was his. He would keep it for as long as he could. For now, what was he supposed to do? He didn't feel tired or hungry, he just felt like he was there and nothing more.

The light from the pendant got his attention. He looked down at it, wondering why it had responded when he hadn't asked it anything.

'What's wrong?'

He reread the words several times. Why did it keep asking him what was wrong when he stopped talking? And what wasn't wrong? His entire life had fallen apart since Cedric had died, and Voldemort had returned. The loneliness was the worst part. He felt abandoned now that his family and friends seemed to have given up on him. And sometimes he woke up feeling like he'd lost the most important person in his life, but he had no idea who that person was. He had only known Cedric as a rival in the Triwizard tournament, so it wasn't him. Sirius was alive, just not talking to him, and the same could be said about his friends. So why…?

A more intense light flashed, almost blinding him. He looked down again glaring at the object.

'Answer me.'

"I don't know," he said, a hint of anger in his words. "Everything, but…" The strange feeling of loss faded. _The power this thing has over me… _"It's gone now," he said, unsure if he'd been feeling anything at all. He brought the pendant up to his lips and held it there, his eyes falling onto the window. A surge of warmth spread through his body. Whatever was going on, it didn't matter. So, everyone he cared about had turned their backs on him and his only friend was a know it all necklace. He'd be set for school at least. "Who am I kidding?" He repositioned himself so he was lying down again. He needed answers the necklace couldn't give him. "You aren't going to leave me right," he muttered.

Another flash of green.

'No.'

"My entire life is a bit of a mess. I can't promise not to jostle you or that you won't get chipped, but I'll take care of the necklace as best I can. So… if there's anything you need from me to keep you working longer, please, let me know."

A swirl of light showed up.

CRASH!

Harry jumped, the necklace falling out of his hand and onto the bed. The crash had come from downstairs, no doubt about it. He gave the necklace a quick look of longing and got up. He had no idea who was downstairs, but he couldn't risk putting the necklace in that kind of danger. It would be one of the first things someone would take from him and he couldn't let that happen.

"I'll be right back." He grabbed his wand and turned off the lamp before he crept towards his door and unlocked it. He took a breath and stepped out into the hall. A quick look gave no indication that anyone was in his house. He strained his ears. Whoever had made the noise was making sure to be silent now.

"Are you sure this is the right house," a voice asked.

"Shh! Of course, it is! He has to be around here somewhere."

"Maybe we should call for him? It doesn't look like anyone is home."

Frowning, Harry followed the voices to the stairs. Three people stood at the bottom of the steps; their attention focused on each other. In the dark Harry couldn't tell who they were, but he was pretty sure he recognized one of the voices.

_Like it matters if I get caught. _He cleared his throat. All three people turned, their wands out and lighting up. The spotlight created from the three wands fell on Harry. The Gryffindor brought his left hand up to shield his eyes.

"HARRY!" The lights dimmed and soon Harry found himself in Lupin's embrace. "I'm so glad you're alright. How's your arm?"

Harry froze, his eyes wide. What was going on? Why was Lupin here? The warmth from that one hug had him fighting to hold back tears. He gripped Lupin's arm and turned his head away from everyone. He needed this more than he wanted to admit. The shield he'd been trying to create to keep himself from caring began to crack.

"Harry," Lupin asked, his voice gentle.

"S, sorry," Harry said, willing himself to be strong. Lupin hadn't been writing him either, not that Harry had taken the time to write his old professor. He'd never given it any thought. "It's been a long summer…"

"I can only imagine. Dementors, Gytrash." He removed his free arm from around Harry. "I want to inspect your arm before we leave," he said.

"He'd be dead by now if he'd been bitten," Mad-Eye grunted.

It seemed the Death Eater portraying his teacher hadn't been far off from Moody's actual personality. The words also reminded Harry that he was mad at everyone who claimed to care about him, and yet he couldn't deny the happiness of Lupin hugging him.

"Moody," a witch with very pink hair snapped. "Don't listen to him Harry," she added trying to look cheerful. She fell just short of making it believable.

"I doubt even Potter can withstand that much poison."

"All the same," Lupin said. He led Harry back into his bedroom, the other two following close behind. Harry moved towards his lamp, and stopped, his eyes falling onto the spot where the necklace was on his bed. What if the others wanted him to give it up now that they'd come to retrieve him? Had they even come to get him? They could just be there to check on his arm.

_Let them try, _he thought anger, sweeping through him. The necklace had kept him sane, or as sane as he could be and safe. He snatched the necklace and dropped it into his pants pocket before flipping his lamp back on flooding the room with light. Lupin motioned for Harry to sit down on his bed. He removed the bandage gently and inspected the scratch.

"This looks really good Harry. You did a great job tending to this." Lupin offered Harry a smile.

"I didn't do much," Harry admitted. "I washed it off, put some Muggle medicine on it and then some healing cream." He hadn't been sure if putting peroxide on the wound would be worth it, but he'd tried it all the same after it had swollen.

"This looks like a professional healer took care of it," Lupin said.

Harry shrugged. He didn't have an answer. No healers had been sent to him.

"I'm glad it worked. No one actually gave me instructions on how to care for a Gytrash bite." He made sure to keep his voice neutral, but his words had hit their mark. The witch looked towards his window, her face red, while Moody smirked, his magical eye swirling in every direction at high speed. Lupin flinched, which Harry regretted somewhat, but his ex-professor hadn't sent him a letter either explaining what he should look out for or what to do if his arm did turn blue.

"There was a section about it in the book I sent you, I just thought…" His voice trailed off when he saw Harry's face turn red. "You didn't read it, did you?"

"I didn't," he admitted. "I was going to…"

"I shouldn't have assumed you would right away. At least we won't need to stop by St. Mungo's," Lupin said, moving towards Harry's trunk. "Let's gather your things and get out of here."

"St. Mungo's," Harry asked. The rest of Lupin's sentence sank in then, his heart leaping. "I get to leave?"

"Wizarding hospital," the witch explained. "Looks like you're already packed."

"Good thing Potter knows to always be ready," Moody said, his voice loud. He brought his hand down hard onto Harry's shoulder, causing the Gryffindor to wince.

Harry didn't want to tell them his things were put away so he wouldn't feel compelled to destroy them again. Or that he hadn't touched them since he'd thrown them into his trunk, because he'd been sleeping the whole time. If they thought something was wrong, they might leave him at the Dursley's or worse. They might start questioning him and that could eventually lead them to the necklace.

"Of course, you get to leave," Lupin said, looking surprised. "I know you must feel like we've abandoned you, but I promise, we haven't. Things have just been going slower than we thought they would."

"I wasn't sure," Harry admitted. "No one has been writing me."

"I know," Lupin said giving Harry's shoulder a tight squeeze. "Let's get moving. Sirius isn't going to calm down until we've returned."

"We're going to see Sirius," Harry asked. He knew Lupin had suddenly changed the subject, but he couldn't help but feel happy at hearing Sirius' name despite all the anger he had towards his godfather at not writing him.

"Of course," Lupin said. Mad-Eye pointed his wand at Harry's trunk, and it followed them out of the room. "A lot has happened this summer. Sirius' old family home has been converted into our headquarters. We just started cleaning it out a few days ago," Lupin explained. "It's a right mess. You might actually regret coming so soon once you see it."

The four of them descended the stairs, Harry's trunk bouncing off each step. It crashed onto the floor with a loud thud. Harry couldn't believe that the trunk had remained shut. He smirked when he saw a rather large bruise on the floor.

"Alastor," Lupin said. "Don't harm Harry's trunk."

"I shielded it."

Lupin gave Mad-Eye a look then smirked.

"Make sure to hit the door on our way out."

Harry couldn't hold back a laugh. He followed Lupin to the door, shocked at his ex-professors behavior. Sirius had said Lupin was his friend. And even Lupin had admitted to being a trouble maker during his days at Hogwarts. Was this his real personality? If it was, Harry was impressed.

"So how are we getting to Sirius," Harry asked.

"By car," Lupin explained. "I need you to promise me that you'll listen to everything we say once we go outside. There's only three of us here so we don't attract too much attention, but that doesn't mean we weren't followed."

Harry nodded. He trusted Lupin, he realized, more than he thought possible given how betrayed he felt towards everyone. Maybe because Lupin was here, at the Dursley's breaking him out and taking him away.

Lupin opened the door and pointed to a vehicle in the driveway. It was so plain; Harry didn't think he could remember the car even if he studied it for the next hour.

"It's been charmed not to stand out," Lupin explained.

A loud crash behind them told Harry that Mad-Eye had indeed borrowed his trunk to harm the Dursleys' front door, and he found himself grinning. Once the trunk was outside, Lupin placed it into the back of the car. Harry climbed in after it. The witch took a seat beside Harry while Lupin got into the driver's seat and Mad-Eye in the passenger seat.

"I'm Tonks, by the way, Sirius' cousin," the witch said cheerfully. "Glad to finally meet you, Harry!"

Harry studied the pink-haired witch. Did that make her family too? Yet another relative that had left him to survive on his own for all these years?

_If the Dursleys have taught you nothing else, it's that family doesn't mean anything. _Only he knew that wasn't completely true. Ron and his family were very close and while they bickered from time to time, they always watched out for one another. Harry had thought he was a distant extension to that family, but this summer had shown him the truth. He was just Ron's pitiful friend who they ended up tolerating over the summer, probably because Dumbledore made them. _I don't need their pity. _He decided he would no longer be staying at the Burrow again, ever. Harry was forced on the Dursleys every summer, he could spend half of it with them, the other half with Sirius, and then he could go back to school. Once he was of age and Dumbledore couldn't force him to stay with family, he could go somewhere else. His parents had left him with enough money to rent a flat, perhaps he could find one in Diagon Alley.

He lowered his head, his hand slipping into his left pocket. With this it didn't really matter though, did it? As long as he had the necklace, he could stay anywhere. An urge to talk with the necklace struck him, but he knew he couldn't in the car, not with the other three with him. Instead, he squeezed the pendant, a tiny amount of warmth coming from it.

**(X)**

"We're here," Lupin said.

Harry yawned. He must have fallen asleep, because he couldn't remember anything after squeezing the necklace. He staggered out of the backseat, using the car to get his balance back. How long had they been driving?

Beautiful large brick homes lined the street, homes that made the Dursley’s house look like common shacks. This was not what Harry had expected. His godfather had been in Azkaban and then on the run. How could he have acquired such a place? He took a step forward, wondering which one belonged to his godfather.

"Right," Lupin said, moving towards Harry. He handed Harry a small piece of paper with the words 'Number Twelve Grimmauld Place' written on it. No sooner had he read the words did another, larger, Muggle townhouse began to grow. It shoved its way in between numbers eleven and thirteen, pushing and jostling the two buildings, until it was at its full height. Harry stared at the large structure, unsure how it could have appeared without making any noise or causing anything short of an earthquake. The piece of parchment paper in Harry's hand went up in flames, the ashes disintegrating before they touched the ground.

"Wow…"

"Come on, need to get you inside," Moody said. He shoved Harry towards the door which to his disappointment, was not nearly as clean or fancy as the other houses on the street. The other two in their group followed behind. "And don't yell."

Harry wondered why they couldn't yell. Could the Muggles on each side of the townhouse hear them if they got too loud?

"We're back," Lupin shouted as he opened the door. So much for being quiet. "And we have Harry," he added once Harry had stepped over the threshold. Harry couldn't help wondering if the warning not to yell was just for him.

Lupin's words were met with yells and the stomping of feet running towards them. Harry almost stepped back out of the house they'd just entered, but Lupin shut the door as if reading Harry's mind. Moody locked the door with his wand, a glimmering blue shield wrapping around it. It remained in sight for a second before it vanished.

The stomping grew louder. Harry dropped his hand into his pocket, his hand wrapping around the necklace. He didn’t know what good that would do, but it had saved him from his uncle. Perhaps it could shield him from whatever was charging towards him.

"Harry!" Suddenly there were arms wrapped around him. Harry released the necklace, returning the hug. "You've gotten taller!" Sirius tightened his embrace. Harry allowed himself the joy. First Lupin, now Sirius? He hadn't been hugged like this since he'd first visited the Burrow, and Mrs. Weasley had been determined to make him another one of her sons. "Is your arm alright?" He released Harry and grabbed his arm that had the band-aid on it.

"Fine," Harry said, a smile forming. His heart soaring now, most of his bitter feelings fading. Sirius had sent Lupin to retrieve him. Even if his godfather had forgotten to write to him, there was no way he was pretending right now. Sirius had to love him.

"Good. I tried to get Dumbledore to let us get you right after the attack, but the Ministry was watching the house," he growled. "Can't have them finding this place." He removed the band-aid and inspected the scratches intently just as Lupin had, a grin crossing his face. "This looks pretty good. Your work, Remus," he asked looking towards his friend.

"No, it was like that when we arrived," Lupin said.

"Oh…" It was the only word Harry could get out. Sirius hadn't been ignoring him, hadn't forgotten him, had even been protesting for his release from the Dursleys. The Ministry had been the problem! If he'd known that he'd have… what? As much as he hated the Ministry, he couldn't exactly do anything to them. He didn't even know where they were at.

"Look at how much you've grown," Mrs. Weasley shouted from the staircase. She rushed Harry and hugged him tightly, just as the others had. "We're so glad you're alright! Oh, my goodness, I can see your…! Food!" She released Harry and darted off down the hall.

"You do look a little underfed," Sirius said. He gave him a complete look over again and frowned. "Don't they feed you over there?"

"Umm…" They did, sometimes. The few times they'd left food for him the past week, he'd ignored it for the most part. Sleeping had been more important. "Not really." Harry saw a flash of anger in his godfather's eyes. "But that's not, I think the Gytrash poison had me sleeping most of the last week," he tried. As much as he wanted to see the Dursley's pay for everything they'd done, or hadn't done, he didn't want Sirius to storm out and do them harm. It wouldn't do any good if they were—

_We're both already wanted by the Ministry, _he reminded himself.

"That's a common side effect," Lupin said, moving towards them. "Let's get some food into him before he gets tired again." He gave Harry a small push towards the kitchen door. The push had more strength to it than Harry had thought possible for such a small gesture. He stumbled forward, catching himself before falling.

"Remus," Sirius warned.

"Sorry Harry," Lupin said. "I've been trying a new potion, and it's been doing me some good."

Harry stopped to study his old professor. It was true. Lupin no longer looked haggard or sick. His face had color, the bags under his eyes were gone. Walking no longer seemed taxing on him, he looked, rested. Happy even.

"Doesn't he look good," Sirius asked grinning. He moved past Harry and pushed the door to the kitchen open. The kitchen was, to be polite, a mess. There was a single large table placed to one side, where Mr. Weasley and Charlie were talking. They both saw Harry at the same time, smiles breaking onto their faces.

"Hey Harry," Mr. Weasley said. "Glad you could make it."

"Glad I could too," Harry said. He took a seat next to Mr. Weasley. The table and the countertop were the only clean spots in the room. Everything else was covered in webs, dust bunnies, what Harry suspected to be mold, and a few things he was too scared to even think about.

"I hope roast beef is alright? We only have so much, and we just started cleaning," she explained quickly.

"Anything is fine," Harry said.

Mrs. Weasley beamed at him and went straight to work with her wand. Bread flew out of a cabinet, roast beef out of the fridge.

Sirius took a seat beside Harry, Lupin sitting across from them.

"I'm sorry it took so long to come get you," Sirius said quietly. "I've been giving Dumbledore hell since the attack, but he wouldn't hear of it, and…" He let out a frustrated growl. "Should have done it, anyway."

"And risk exposing the Order," Lupin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We should have at least sent someone to check on him," Sirius snapped. "Gytrash bites aren't a joke!"

"But he's fine," Lupin said evenly. "It was extremely frustrating waiting, and you're right. We made a mistake not checking in on him properly, but we had to have somewhere safe to take Harry."

"He could have stayed with us," Sirius said.

"Because we were so well hidden," Lupin asked and chuckled. "Save the dramatics for someone who doesn't know you."

"I'm serious Remus," Sirius growled.

"I know you are."

The two men locked eyes, Harry wondering what in the world was going on. He knew Lupin and Sirius were friends, but this seemed…different?

"Don't start this nonsense," Mrs. Weasley said, angrily. She dropped a plate with a roast beef sandwich on it in front of Harry, her hands falling onto her hips. "None of us wanted to wait to get Harry, but Albus asked us too. I thought both of you trusted him enough not to question him."

"This has nothing to do with trust," Sirius shouted. "This is about my godson!" Everyone in the kitchen jumped as an ear-piercing scream erupted throughout the house. "Great! You woke up my mother!"

"W, what," Harry asked, trying to piece together what was going on. Sirius's mother? How many family members did Harry have that he wasn't aware of?

"Don't act like you were the only one who wanted to go retrieve Harry," Mrs. Weasley screamed. She stormed out of the kitchen, Mr. Weasley chasing after her.

Sirius muttered a curse and left the kitchen.

"SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG!"

"I…I don't know what's going on," Harry admitted. He couldn't make out the words, but he could hear Sirius and a woman screaming. He didn’t recognize the woman’s voice, but right now he was more concerned about Sirius and Mrs. Weasley fighting.

"Those two," Lupin sighed, resting his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Harry. They've been at it the last two nights."

"Why?"

"Because Sirius wanted to go get you immediately and mum wanted to listen to Dumbledore," Charlie explained. "When you hadn't written for so long saying you were okay, Sirius got worried and tried to leave the house to check on you."

Harry didn't know how to react to that. He'd stopped sending letters, because no one had bothered to write back. Sirius, it seemed had been reading every letter he sent, he just wasn't able to respond. Thanks to him being so petty and not writing, Sirius had tried to save him, and now he was fighting with Mrs. Weasley.

"Sorry," he said, trying to ignore the guilt he was now feeling. He didn't want them fighting. Sirius was the only real family he had left, and Mrs. Weasley had always cared for him like one of her own, at least until this summer. _Sirius tried getting me too, _the thought both horrified him and made him happy. He would never forgive himself if the Ministry caught Sirius because of him, but that his godfather had tried….

"Just ignore them," Lupin said. "Sirius will calm down now that you're here and knows you're safe." He stood up, motioning to the door. "I think you'll have more peace if you eat in your room."

Harry grabbed the plate with the sandwich on it and followed Lupin into the hall. The screaming grew louder as the two of them approached the steps.

"HOW DARE YOU—"

"I'LL DO EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY CAN TO RUIN YOUR LIFE!"

Harry paused at the bottom of the steps and stared at Lupin.

"Maybe just wait here a minute," Lupin muttered. He vanished up the stairs where the voice began screaming even louder.

"WEREWOLF SCUM! OF ALL THE FILTH IN THIS HOUSE! THE ONLY THING A WEREWOLF IS GOOD FOR IS A RUG!" The woman cackled, a mad laugh that made Harry want to turn away from the steps and go back to the Dursleys. Perhaps staying at Privet drive hadn't been so bad after all.

"ENOUGH!" Sirius's voice echoed through the house before it filled with wonderful silence. Harry waited a minute to see if the screaming would resume, briefly wondering if Sirius had killed his mother or just silenced her. When it didn't hear anything, he did his best to walk up the stairs making as little noise as possible. He did not want to wake up Sirius' mother. He froze when Sirius and Lupin came into view, the two of them were hugging. His face flushed and he went down two more steps.

"It's alright. I'm used to the insults."

"That wasn't alright. The second I get that picture removed I'm burning it, slowly," Sirius said.

"You're scaring Harry."

"He's fine, something like this wouldn't scare James," Sirius muttered.

"Harry isn't James," Lupin said. "He's smarter than that."

Harry crept down the rest of the stairs, not wanting to hear the rest. He shouldn't have been listening at all, but he really wanted to know what was going on and as usual, it seemed like no one was going to tell him. When he made it to the bottom of the stairs, he sat down and took a bite of his sandwich. It was dry and yet somehow more delicious than anything he'd eaten all summer at the Dursley house.

**(TBC)**


	4. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So chapter 1 has been fleshed out from a mere five thousand words into four, almost six thousand words per chapter. Anyway…yeah, no one cares. No one really even reads these things. It’s just something I’ve done from day one of my fanfic writing.  
The most annoying part of this… having to come up with even more chapter names.  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay guys. Harry Potter/ Tom Riddle, Sirius/Remus

A small glimmer of light pouring out from Harry's pocket caught his attention. After a quick look to make sure no one was around, he put his plate down on the step right above him and removed the necklace.

'What in the hell was all that screaming? Are you okay?'

Harry choked back a laugh. He'd never once read such an informal message from the necklace. He positioned himself so his back was against the wall and he could see if anyone was coming towards him from the landing above or the kitchen or hall in front of him.

"My family," Harry whispered.

'I distinctly remember your family not wanting to speak with you unless you caused them some sort of discontent.'

Harry was almost positive now that Hermione had had a part in charming the necklace.

'So, what did you do this time?'

"Wrong family. There's a woman screaming insults a floor above us. And I just caught my godfather hugging his friend. I felt like I was intruding," he said, trying to tell the necklace everything he could quickly. He didn't know when he'd be able to speak with it again next. "And before that, my godfather was fighting with Mrs. Weasley. Sirius wanted to come get me after the Dementor attacks, but Dumbledore told everyone not to."

The words faded, replaced immediately with a reply.

'You should have stayed at the Muggles' home. At least it was quiet there.'

Harry snickered since he'd been thinking along the same lines.

"Maybe, but they're feeding me here."

"Harry?"

Harry shoved the necklace back into his pocket in one swift movement and turned his attention to Lupin. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been to almost get caught with the necklace so soon. Lupin was standing on the landing, Sirius next to him, both wearing neutral expressions.

"Y, yeah?"

"Were you speaking to someone," Lupin asked.

"No," Harry said. It wasn't exactly a lie. Even if he considered the necklace a friend, the others would see it as nothing more than a magical object.

"… I hope not. You understand that this is a hidden headquarters, right? If you tell anyone where we're at, it could put all of us in danger."

Harry grabbed his plate and made his way towards the two adults.

"We're in a headquarters?"

"Order's," Sirius grunted. "Nothing else I can do with this useless house."

Useless was a good word for the house based on what Harry had seen so far and he could only nod. The floors upstairs were just as dirty as the ones below. Harry could follow a trail of his own footsteps from the main floor up the stairs. The wallpaper leading upstairs was a greenish-yellow with twisting green ivy and was peeling off the wall revealing spots of mold covered wall that no doubt continued out of sight. Now and then he'd spot mold that had broken free of the wallpaper prison and decided the doors were far more suitable living arrangements. When he looked at one candleholder, he noted thick cobwebs as long as his arm hanging from it. A few others were worse.

"Order," Harry repeated, trying to ignore the health risks of staying in a house this filthy. He didn't think he'd ever heard of that before.

"I'm sorry, I keep forgetting you haven't been here," Lupin said. "The Order of the Phoenix. It's the underground organization Dumbledore set up to defeat Voldemort and his followers."

Harry stared at the two. He'd actually gotten a straight answer, perhaps the first one he'd gotten since Cedric's death. Lupin was now his favorite person in the entire house.

"I won't tell anyone about this place."

"Even if he did, he's not the keeper," Sirius said.

Sirius was refusing to look at Harry.

_They saw me_, Harry thought, frowning. They're just trying to make sure everyone stays safe and Lupin had answered his question. Didn't he owe it to them to be honest? But what danger could the necklace present? Did it connect to other necklaces? Could it rat him out to someone else with the same kind of necklace? It would explain how it was able to answer almost every question he asked it. A cold sweat started down the back of his neck.

"My birthday gift from Dumbledore," he muttered. The last thing Harry wanted to do was hand the necklace over, but if he'd just screwed up and inadvertently put all of them in danger… He swallowed hard, his hand shaking as he removed the necklace from his pocket. Raising his hand took every ounce of energy he had, tears threatening to pour at the mere thought of having to give the necklace up. _I'm way too attached to this thing…_ He jerked the necklace towards Lupin and averted his eyes.

"What exactly is it," Lupin asked, cautiously. Harry could feel the werewolf remove the necklace from his fingers and had to hold back a sob.

"Mu, Muggles have these things called magic eight balls," Harry tried to explain as he forced himself to look at Lupin. His ex-professor was holding the necklace up by the chain, the pendant twirling, and Harry almost leapt at Lupin and snatched it back. "It's kind of like that. I've been using it to help me study." _And talk to it every chance I get not to mention I’ve become completely enthralled by the thing._

"Sirius," Lupin asked, turning to his friend. "I know what a magic eight ball is, but I don't think I've ever seen one of these, have you?"

Sirius took the necklace, barely glanced at it, and shoved it back at Harry. The amount of relief at having the necklace back in his hands nearly made Harry's legs buckle.

"Not supposed to question Dumbledore, remember?" He walked past Lupin and went down the stairs.

Harry held the necklace to his chest, his eyes darting from Sirius's departing form and back to Lupin. So, they weren't going to take it? He could keep it? No questions asked? Even if it caused him to have extreme withdrawal symptoms in a matter of seconds if it left his possession, it was okay?

_Only because this necklace is your best friend now_, he told himself. If not for that, he was sure he could hand it over with ease.

Sighing, Lupin shook his head.

"Come on."

_At least I know it's a normal wizarding item_, Harry thought. He might be overly reliant on it, but it was a relief to know that it wasn't dangerous. _Who am I kidding_? Even if Lupin had told him it was some kind of cursed item, he'd still want to keep it.

"How do you know what a magic eight ball is," Harry asked. He started fumbling with the necklace, his hands still shaking. _Get a hold of yourself!_ He managed to slip the necklace over his head and hide it safely beneath his shirt. Warmth pulsated from the pendant, a wave of calm washing over him.

"My mother was a Muggle," Lupin explained. "She would buy me Muggle toys from time to time."

"Oh." Harry hadn't known that about Lupin. That had to make being a werewolf that much harder on his family.

"Harry, please be careful with anything you hear within this house, and while I'm sure you think I'm being paranoid; I'm going to ask Dumbledore about your gift, just in case."

Harry felt a twinge of anger. How could Lupin pretend like the necklace was nothing and then act like it was some dangerous artifact?

"Okay…"

"I just want to make sure the gift was actually sent to you by Dumbledore."

"Oh…" Harry hadn't given that much thought. He'd allowed himself to just assume that since a school owl had delivered the gift that it had to be from Dumbledore.

"I'm sure it is," Lupin said. "But, better to know for sure. Here, this one on the left." He grabbed the doorknob and sighed. "I can't wait until this entire house is renovated," he said, annoyed and a look of disgust on his face. Harry noticed the doorknob was shaped like a serpent and couldn't agree more.

"Can we keep the necklace between us for now," Harry asked, quietly. "I mean just Dumbledore, you, and Sirius?"

"Do you plan on using it to cheat at school," Lupin asked, smiling.

"No," Harry said, immediately. "I just don't want everyone asking it questions. I don't know how strong the charm is, but I want it to last as long as possible."

"I had no idea you were so protective of your gifts." Harry must have looked horrible, because Lupin sighed a moment later. "Okay, my lips are sealed, however." Lupin opened the door. "We've placed a hearing distortion charm on the portrait of Sirius' mother. She can't hear most things now, but if you get too loud, she'll wake up and start screaming," Lupin explained.

"So be quiet, got it," Harry said grinning at Lupin. The fewer people that knew about the necklace, the better. He didn't need everyone, especially Ron, trying to take it from him so he could ask it questions about his homework. _Even though I'll probably do just that… maybe_. It would be nice if he could go somewhere alone in Hogwarts and do his homework, necklace in hand, but he had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't stand for such treatment. Besides, he'd feel horrible if he overused it and wore the charm out faster over some homework questions.

"...I'm glad we finally got you here." He smiled at Harry and left down the hall, disappearing down the steps.

Harry stepped into the room and nearly dropped the plate. A loud shriek was his only warning before he flew backward, somehow landing on a bed. He couldn't get his bearings. His sight was full of bushy brown hair, and the shriek had given way to numerous hoots as well as what sounded like human mumbling.

"Harry! We're so glad you're here," Hermione said, hugging him. Harry wondered if this was some newly agreed upon greeting ritual for everyone in number twelve. Most of the people he knew had hugged him the second they saw him. And, while he'd been grateful for both Sirius and Lupin's embrace and had enjoyed Mrs. Weasley's. He found Hermione's a tad annoying. Perhaps he'd just been over hugged.

"No kidding, get off," he said, trying to remove himself from her arms.

"We were so worried about you! I mean with the Dementors and the Gytrash? What were Gytrash doing in Britain," she asked, like Harry had the answer. How was he supposed to know? He didn't even know where they usually stayed. As far as he knew, the Dursley's could have found the poisonous rabid dogs and been raising them in their backyard. Though if they had thought the things would kill Harry and the neighbors wouldn't disapprove, he would have been attacked years ago.

"Where are Gytrash usually at?" Harry cursed quietly, getting curious looks from both of his friends. He'd forgotten not to ask any questions and get the necklace started. If it answered him and he didn't read the reply, the pendant would start flashing brighter every minute he ignored it and his friends were sure to see it. He was not ready to share his gift with Ron and Hermione. He'd felt guilty with Sirius and Lupin because they trusted Harry to be honest with them, but these two….

"Get your owl," Harry said, scowling. Ron's new owl had not stopped circling his head since Hermione had tackled him to the bed. While his two friends tried to get Pigwidgeon to calm down, Harry dared a look at his shirt. There was no light pouring out of it. For one panicked moment, he wondered if Lupin holding the necklace had caused it to stop working, or perhaps it was mad at him for allowing someone else to touch it. He slipped his hand under his shirt and relaxed, feeling the warmth and comfort from the pendant that he always did. _Thank goodness…_

"Harry?" Ron was frowning.

Both of his friends were looking at him with concern.

"Sorry, Lupin said the Gytrash bite could cause tiredness," Harry lied, removing his hand from his shirt. "I keep dazing out…"

"Yes," Hermione said, instantly. "It can. I wanted to write you so bad and tell you how to clean the cut properly and what to look for, but Dumbledore asked us not to say a word. I know you must hate us, but we're really sorry!"

Harry looked at both of his friends. Ron was looking away, and Hermione was staring at him, anxiously, biting her lip. He was angry at both of them. If the tables had been turned, he would have found some way to get something to his friends. Even if they weren't allowed to talk about this place, as Lupin had just asked him, they could have spoken to him about everyday things. They could have made the attempt to show him that they still cared. They could have suggested to him to read Lupin's birthday gift since there was supposedly a chapter in the book about Gytrash according to Lupin.

"You're right, I am mad," he said, both his friends frowning. "I can't believe you both ignored me! So, you couldn't tell me about this place in case of our mail was being read, I understand that. I had to write carefully worded letters all last year to talk with Sirius! But what about just asking me how I was doing," he demanded. "I didn't see a single letter from anyone asking if my arm had turned blue! I TRUSTED BOTH OF YOU!"

"Hey, we get it, mate. We're sorry— "

"I would have made sure both of you were fine. I would have written letters and had the adults look them over first if they wanted and then sent them. I would have made sure, somehow, you were okay. Neither of you took the time to even try!" Ron's face had turned a deep shade of red and Hermione looked like she was on the verge of tears. "Which bed is mine," he demanded. Ron motioned to the bed farthest from the door.

Harry went to it and sat down, his back to them. He knew he should feel guilty about hurting his friends, but they'd hurt him too. Badly. He'd believed he could trust them with his very life, and yet with one request from Dumbledore, they'd thrown him to the side. He trusted Dumbledore too, or had, but it seemed like the headmaster hadn’t even needed to stop them because they hadn’t bothered trying to write him. Someone could have figured something out.

"Just give me some time," he said, trying to keep his voice neutral. "Let me lie here and eat something."

His two friends didn't waste any time. They left the room, shutting the door quietly behind them. Harry had to applaud them. He'd have been furious if Ron or Hermione had yelled at him the way he just had, but he felt like they had deserved every word.

"How can they act like what they did was okay?"

This time there was a flash of light from beneath his shirt. He pulled the necklace out, his anger lessening.

'They don't know how to think for themselves.'

"I guess…" He sat up pulling the plate into his lap and took a second bite of the sandwich. It was still wonderful and delicious. "I'm sorry about Lupin and Sirius… They saw me talking to you."

'You need to be more careful.'

Harry gave a slight nod. "I will be. They won't care once Dumbledore tells them he sent you."

The necklace seemed to hesitate at that, the swirling storm of green inside the abyss turning instead of agreeing immediately with Harry as it usually did.

"Dumbledore did send you, didn't he? That's what you told me." He'd had no reason to think the necklace had been lying to him.

'In a way….'

Harry's heart sunk immediately.

"What do you mean in a way? Did I just lie to Sirius," he demanded. He couldn't have. Even if he had been parroting what the necklace had said and jumping to conclusions because the gift had been delivered from a school owl, that it had to be from Dumbledore. He never wanted to lie to his godfather, mistake or not.

'Not exactly…'

For a second Harry thought about ripping the necklace off and throwing it out the door and down the steps. The Order could deal with it while he tried to repair what small friendships he had left with Ron and Hermione, but the thought had barely formed before a wave of grief washed over him.

"I can't…" He looked down at the necklace, his body shaking once more. "What have you done to me?"

'Calm down.' The usual surge of warmth came from the necklace and begun to spread through his hand, up his arm.

"Don't distract me," he screamed, removing the necklace from around his neck. He threw the pendant to the foot of his bed and backed away from it as fast as he could. The simple act had taken so much of Harry's energy he could barely see straight. The room spun and he couldn't quite seem to catch his breath. Cold sweat formed on his skin.

The candles in the room dimmed in one quick rush of wind, then weakly came back to life.

Harry choked on what little air he had in his lungs. As the candlelight returned, the human-shaped shadow he'd seen when the Dementors had attacked took form. It moved awkwardly at first, as if it hadn't done so in quite some time. If it had bones Harry was sure he'd be able to hear each one of them crack into place as it came towards him.

He turned to vault off his bed and make a mad dash out the door, but nothing happened. He pleaded with his body to move, to do something, but managed only to scream inside his mind. His body failed him. He was going to die!

The shadow sat down on the bed, Harry's heart beating even faster when he felt the mattress sink. It leaned forward, its red eyes glowing. One of its hands came up and rested on Harry's right cheek.

'For the last time, calm down.'

Harry's eyes widened, a scream erupting from his throat. He was sure someone had slid a knife into his brain. He brought his hands up, gripping each side of his head, somehow able to move again. The pain was unbearable. The pressure managed to subside slightly by screaming, but not enough. His body lurched forward, the shadow's arms going around him.

The door to the room slammed against the bedroom wall. Harry collapsed in a withering mess onto his bed, tears and snot rolling down his face. He could breathe again.

"Are you okay?!"

"Ugh!" Harry rolled over towards the wall. Ron's voice was too loud. It hurt. Why did it hurt so much? What had that thing done?

"MUM!"

"Oh my God! SIRIUS!" Hermione was beside him then and Harry wanted to kill her. Why had she yelled? He could just make out the screams coming from the hallway now, Ron and Hermione's outbursts having set off the portrait.

He couldn't take it anymore. He needed silence. He needed his head to stop hurting. He could feel every blast of energy his brain gave to form his every thought and it was excruciating.

"Move!" Hermione was gone and Sirius was standing above him. "Remus!"

Harry groaned and turned on his side. His body gave another lurch. What little bit of the roast beef sandwich he had left him landing on the floor.

"Was he poisoned," Hermione sobbed.

"I don't think so." Sirius had sat down on the bed and began patting Harry's back. "Do you feel better?"

"Hardly," Harry managed, his body convulsing. He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them. The cold that had been seeping into his bones beginning to fade. He began to feel warm again. "Ugh…" He waited a minute to see if anything else was going to happen. When it didn't he slowly released his legs and sat up. His body still felt shaky, but the worst of it seemed to have passed. "S, sorry about the floor…"

"Forget about the floor," Sirius snapped, wrapping an arm around Harry's shoulders. "What happened?"

"I…" What had happened? He'd been asking the necklace about whether Dumbledore had sent it as a birthday gift, and something had happened… Had the necklace…? He didn't want to believe that. There was no way the necklace would hurt him, it had told him it wouldn't, had saved him from his uncle. Had promised to keep him safe…

"What is that," Hermione asked, taking a step towards the bed.

"Don't touch that," Sirius growled. Hermione gasped and backed away.

"Is he going to be okay," Ron asked, uneasily.

"What happened," Sirius asked again, gently this time.

"I was…" If he told them what had happened, they'd take the necklace from him. He'd never see it again. They would remove the charm and destroy it. His best friend would vanish, and he'd be left alone, but he couldn't lie to Sirius either. His friends were easy, but he loved Sirius.

Lupin came running into the room, followed by more footsteps that stopped at the door.

"Get out," Lupin said, walking into the room. "Leave this to us."

"But Harry—," Ron started.

"We need to find out what happened, go," Lupin said, leaving no room for debate. Harry watched his two friends leave. Hermione was shaking and Ron had his arm around her. _At least those two look out for each other,_ he thought bitterly.

"Is he alright," Mrs. Weasley asked from the door. "Is this from the Gytrash Remus?" She pushed her way into the room. "Do we need to take him to St. Mungo's?"

_No! I cleaned it!_ Did Gytrash scratches cause hallucinations days after they happened? Could he justify this entire thing as a side effect from the creature attacking him? Perhaps he wouldn't even be lying if he didn't mention the necklace. Maybe this was all thanks to that rabid dog. _But I saw the shadow before the Gytrash showed up…_

"I do apologize Molly, but I need to get into the room."

Harry heard Mrs. Weasley gasp.

"But Albus…"

"I believe circumstances have changed, if you would?" Dumbledore's tall figure appeared in the doorway. Harry's breath caught once more, another wave of convulsions shaking his entire body. Bright white light blinded him and suddenly, he was no longer in the bed. He was standing beside it and he could see the shadow again. It was standing in the corner, its back leaning against the wall, its eyes on Harry. The adults were panicking. Sirius was slapping Harry's face, not that he could feel anything, while Dumbledore came closer to the bed. Mrs. Weasley rushed out of the room. Remus was standing next to Sirius looking sick.

"… You saved me from my uncle," Harry said, slowly trying to ignore the chaos going on around him. "And you made sure the Dementors' despair didn't consume me." He took a hesitant step towards the shadow. It didn't lunge towards him, growl, or do anything threatening, just watched. "So why would you hurt me here?"

The shadow's eyes widened slightly at that, just enough for Harry to take notice. It moved towards Harry, its hand once again coming towards him. Harry took a step back, the shadow stopping.

The room went silent and everything was simply gone. They were no longer inside the room, or anywhere for that matter. Harry felt like he was inside the abyss within the necklace with the shadow. A thin light the size of a small rope stretched out from Harry's head to the shadow's own. The shadow grabbed the light and squeezed it.

It was over as abruptly as it had begun. His head no longer hurt, he was back on the bed in Sirius's arms, and even some of his energy seemed to have returned. Deep inside his consciousness, he could feel a hint of the same warmth that the necklace had been giving him since he'd received it.

"How did you…?" Harry looked at his headmaster.

"I'm afraid I did nothing," Dumbledore said, offering Harry a small smile. "However…" His gaze drifted to the necklace resting at the foot of Harry's bed. "I will need to borrow this for a moment." He lifted the necklace from the bed. Harry lunged forward, snatching his prized possession from Dumbledore so fast, the headmaster took a step back. Sirius and Lupin too moved off the bed, both staring at Harry with concern, their eyes wide.

Harry wrapped his hand around the necklace as tightly as he could and held it to his chest.

"Harry," Sirius sounded at a loss. Harry was too. He never imagined he'd be able to move so fast after the headache he'd just endured or all the other physical ailments that had racked his body, but here he was. Worse, he'd just clearly shown three people how obsessed he was with this necklace.

"Just leave me alone," he whispered looking away. He couldn't take the looks they were giving him. He didn't understand what was going on, but after everything, he couldn't give up the necklace. "I don't know what's going on," he admitted. "But I can't give it up. Please…" His voice sounded pitiful even to himself and he hated it. When had he ever been so weak? And over a necklace? "What's happening to me?”

"I'm afraid you made some very bad choices before your fourth year ended," Dumbledore said. He approached the bed again and held his hand out to Harry. "The necklace Harry."

"But…you gave it to me," he said, weakly.

"I most certainly did not," the headmaster said. "I'm afraid someone else with far less patience did." Harry groaned, his head dropping forward as a wave of anger rushed through him. Dumbledore did not budge, his hand still out. When a second wave hit Harry, he shoved the necklace into Dumbledore's hand. The headmaster took it and stepped back. "I will bring this back to you in a moment."

"Don't bring it back, destroy it," Sirius shouted. "It's not safe for him to have it!"

"Sirius, please calm yourself." Dumbledore left the room, leaving Harry and the two adults without a single explanation.

"I'm so sorry," Harry said. "A school owl brought it to me, the necklace told me it'd come from Dumbledore… it was the only thing that would talk to me." The feelings of loss that he'd felt at the Dursleys' from time to time assaulted him. He couldn't give the necklace up; it was the most important thing in the world to him. There had to be some explanation as to why it had started attacking him. Maybe it was something in the house? "It stopped Uncle Vernon from choking me," he sobbed. "And snapped me out of the Dementor's trance. It's been keeping me sane!"

"Your uncle tried choking you," Sirius asked, anger flaring to life in his eyes.

Harry nodded.

"Sirius," Lupin said, the warning in his voice clear. "Let's just take a minute to think about this. Harry, you said this necklace has been protecting you."

"It has," Harry said. "I think I may have angered it when I asked it if Dumbledore had really sent it." With the necklace out of the room, he was able to think with some clarity as long as he kept the overwhelming grief in check.

Sirius's face grew dark at that.

"I wonder why it didn't just lie again," Lupin said.

"I don't know." Now that Lupin mentioned it, why hadn't the necklace just lied? Had it realized it couldn't keep the lie going with Dumbledore at number twelve? If so, just how smart was this magical object? Was it even safe to have something so powerful around?

"Magical objects with that much intelligence are never good," Sirius said. "And what are we going to do about his uncle," he asked Lupin.

"It was the only friend I had, the only thing I could hold a conversation with. You don't understand what it's like to be at the Dursleys. They hate me. None of them speak to me unless it's to insult me or order me to do something. I can't use any magic and they know that, so I'm at their mercy. I'm treated like a house-elf over there," Harry said, both adults regarding him with looks of worry and anger.

"You're telling me this isn't something new," Sirius demanded, angrily.

"They've always abused me," Harry said. No sense in lying about it now. "I've put up with it since I got there. I didn't want to say anything, because everyone's had their own problems. The letters my friends send me are the only things that keep me going while I'm there and Dumbledore took that from me. So, when I got that necklace on my birthday…" It had been the greatest thing in the world. A friend he could communicate with whenever he needed, like someone had been with him in his bedroom. A friend who helped him and kept others from harming him. "If it wasn't for that necklace, I would already be dead," he said. "My uncle snapped the afternoon the Dementors showed up. He choked me to the point I couldn't see straight. The necklace blinded him, and I was able to get away."

"Why didn't that set off the Ministry's detection that a magical item had been used within a Muggle town," Lupin asked, frowning.

"I don't know," Harry admitted. "I even talked with it at a park. I made sure no one could hear me, but I haven't received any letters about using it."

"That's really…" Sirius started when the door opened. Dumbledore came in, the necklace in his hand.

"I believe the worst of this has been taken care of," Dumbledore said, handing the necklace back to Harry. "Do be careful with that."

A rush of relief flowed through Harry. Without giving it a second thought, he placed the necklace back on.

"Dumbledore—" Sirius started.

"I'm going to ask that no one speaks of this necklace to anyone. It is, for now, our secret.," he said cutting Sirius off. "Can you do that for me, Harry?"

"Of course," Harry said. Not that he'd exactly proven himself capable of that. "Hermione saw it, though…."

"Yes, she did," the headmaster said with a long sigh. "And I will speak with Ron and Hermione. I am quite serious. Knowledge of this necklace must be kept to the utmost minimum."

"Okay," Harry said.

"I'm trusting all of you with this," Dumbledore said. Harry noted a hint of desperation in the headmaster's words. "Promise me."

"Alright," Lupin said. "But we need to know what's going on."

"No," Sirius growled. "This thing just tried to kill him!"

"It most certainly did not," Dumbledore said, his voice rising, eyes flashing. "I know we have not seen eye to eye lately, but on this, you will agree, or drastic measures will be taken."

Harry had never seen the headmaster look so formidable. What exactly was this necklace to him?

"You swear on your life that this thing won't harm Harry," Sirius asked.

"I swear," Dumbledore said without hesitation.

"So, what caused the convulsions," Sirius questioned.

"Some very ill-chosen decisions on Harry's part," Dumbledore said. "Not that he was alone in that decision," he added, seeing Sirius' dark look. "For now, the Order has a meeting downstairs that we must all be a part of." He turned his back on all three of them and left the room.

"Who does he think he is," Sirius shouted seconds later.

"Sirius, yelling isn't going to get us anywhere. Dumbledore will tell us what's going on," Lupin said quickly. "But we need to attend the meeting first." He placed a hand on Sirius' arm.

Sirius jerked his arm away and turned on Lupin. Harry noted a look of hurt on Lupin's face for just a second before he masked it.

"Dumbledore could have gotten Harry killed! He has no regard for Harry's life at all! My godson has been living with abusive Muggles, a cursed object, and with no healing treatments after a Gytrash attack!" He looked like he was about to kill someone.

"And we will have answers," Lupin promised him. He leaned forward and placed his forehead against Sirius' own. He grabbed both of his hands and squeezed them. "We can corner him as soon as the meeting ends. He'll have no choice, but to answer us."

Harry was sure he was seeing something he shouldn't. There was no way friends acted like this. At, least no friends that he'd seen. He couldn't imagine getting this close to Ron, or anyone for that matter.

"Fine," Sirius muttered, closing his eyes. "You make staying mad impossible."

"You are completely mad," Lupin said, smiling. "I'm just trying to make sure you keep what little sanity you have left."

Sirius scoffed at that before a grin appeared on his face. He gave Lupin a quick kiss on the cheek, Lupin's face turning bright red.

"Suppose we've no choice, let's get downstairs so we can jump that old man."

"S, Sirius! Harry's in here," Lupin stammered, his eyes darting from Harry to Sirius.

Harry was one hundred percent sure that Sirius and Lupin were more than just friends now.

"So what?" Sirius turned to Harry. "Any problems," Sirius asked.

"I… No," Harry choked out. "Just… wasn't expecting it," he managed.

"See, he's completely fine with it," Sirius said. He patted Harry hard on the back before he leaned in close to him. "If that damn necklace does anything, yell for us again. And this time throw it out of the nearest window, not on your bed."

"O, okay."

Looking rather proud of himself, Sirius walked out of the room. Lupin, on the other hand looked horrified.

"Harry, I am so sorry you found out that way, we were going to tell you, we—" He tried getting all the words out at one time and Harry could barely understand half of it.

"It's okay," Harry said, hoping to calm Lupin down. "I mean, you're both happy, right?"

Lupin nodded numbly.

"I'd be an awful godson if I didn't support you guys then."

"Harry… thank you." He started out the door, stopped. "If you need anything at all…"

"I'll be fine," Harry said and he meant it, because as soon as he was alone, he was going to get some answers.

**(TBC)**


	5. What Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forward on.  
Warnings: This is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay relationships, Sirius/Remus and Harry/Tom  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump  
Reminder: I don’t own harry potter  
Notes 2: Sirius has been playing with the layout of number twelve, so any inaccuracies are his doing.

Harry climbed out of the bed and stopped at the door, placing his ear against it. With all the commotion that had just occurred, he wanted to be sure no one overheard him when he started on the necklace again. How dare it cause him so much pain when he'd been nothing but faithful to it? A necklace. He'd chosen its safety over his friendships, had almost lied to Sirius and Lupin for it. It owed him an explanation.

Harry caught movement from his side and turned. The shadow was standing across the room at the end of Ron's bed, once again watching him.

"You've got a lot of nerve," Harry said, glaring at his would-be protector. "I don't know what pissed you off, but you best drop it. You know what I've been through already this summer, don't make it worse."

The shadow narrowed its eyes at Harry.

The door opened, Harry's heart leaping into his mouth when he saw Ron and Hermione standing in the hall with looks of confusion on their face.

"Who are you talking to," Ron asked.

"No one," Harry lied.

"Harry… you were clearly talking to someone," Hermione said uneasily.

"So, I'm supposed to just trust you two with everything again," he asked raising an eyebrow. Both of his friends winced at that.

"We came back to make sure you were all right," Ron said, anger creeping into his voice.

"Yeah, real nice of you to do that now," Harry spat. "Could have used it right after the Gytrash scratched me." He moved away from the door, glad to see that the shadow had vanished.

"It's not like we didn't want to tell you everything," Ron yelled. "We tried! After your attack, Dumbledore told us he placed an anti-mail charm on your house!"

Harry reeled at that. No one had mentioned that. Is that why Lupin hadn't sent him an owl, warning him they were coming to get him? Why he'd received no letters the days following the attack? What in the hell was Dumbledore thinking? What if he'd needed help? Real help, not the idiots who'd been watching his house who left to do who knows what the first chance they got.

He walked towards his bed, no longer sure how to deal with anything. Should he really trust Dumbledore anymore? And if that was the case, was the necklace safe? Sirius could be right that the headmaster wasn't to be trusted anymore.

"Okay," he said, taking a few breaths.

"So, you're not mad," Ron asked.

"I'm furious," Harry snapped, turning his gaze on his two friends. Both of them took a step back, Hermione grabbing onto Ron's arm. "Everyone has left me in the dark about everything! It's almost like Dumbledore wanted me to die!"

"You can't possibly think that," Hermione said, her voice shrill. "He just didn't want you to know anything!" Tears began streaking her face.

"Yeah? Why not," he asked. "Tell me, how fatal are Gytrash bites, Hermione?" Hermione answered his question with a strange choking noise. Ron refused to meet his eyes. "That's what I thought. Luckily, I was just scratched." He ran his hand through his hair. "So, is this my punishment for Cedric? There was no evidence that I got him killed, so Dumbledore is trying to ruin my life until I give up and kill myself? That it?"

"NO!" both of his friends shouted at once.

Their conviction surprised Harry.

"Well, it's not like I'd expect you two to tell me. You've already shown me you trust him, not me."

"Of course, we trust you, you're our friend," Ron said, quietly.

"Yeah? Hermione, maybe help Ron look up the definition of friend? I think he's forgotten," Harry seethed. He stormed out of the room, ignoring his friends' calls after him. How stupid did they think he was? He'd wanted to mend things between them, but the more he found out, the more they proved they were no longer his friends.

A flash of green got his attention.

Scowling, he removed the pendant from his shirt. To hell if anyone saw him with it.

'Dumbledore isn't trying to kill you.'

"Yeah? You sure he just didn't re charm you so you're on his side?"

Harry found himself shoved into the nearest wall; his breath shoved out of him. The shadow was standing in front of him, its arm pushed against his throat.

"I would never choose Dumbledore over you," it hissed at him. "Now calm yourself." It removed its arm, its eyes focused on him. Harry wanted to lunge at the shadow, to choke it, something to pay it back for the now two attacks and for taking Dumbledore's side. Just as he was about to the shadow brought its hand to its throat and staggered backwards.

"H, hey." Harry's rage faded, dread filling him. The shadow hit the wall and slid to the floor. "What's wrong?!" He ran to the shadow and knelt beside it. It closed its eyes, and then it was gone. Harry's eyes shot open, and he grabbed the pendant. "You owe me an answer," he yelled at it, fighting back tears.

'Used too much energy.'

The necklace went completely black after that, all but the smallest hints of warmth fading from it.

_Oh, no…_ The necklace had stopped working after the bright light it'd used to save Harry from his uncle. It had barely worked after it'd taken a shadow form when the Dementors and Gytrash had been around. This time it had actually moved in that form, and it had used its energy against him.

He clutched the pendant tightly in his hand. How was he supposed to keep it alive? He wasn't through yelling at it. He still had questions it had to answer. Despite everything he'd just endured, because of it, he didn't want it to go away. What he wanted was for things to go back to the way they'd been, before the shadow had lost its mind and tried killing him every few minutes. When he'd thought the necklace would do anything to keep him safe.

Who could he even ask for help? Sirius was mad at it, Lupin uneasy. He doubted his friends knew anything at all. Dumbledore seemed to know something, but the chance of getting an answer from him seemed nonexistent. The headmaster might even go as far as to give Harry the wrong answer if he was trying to punish him. He couldn't risk that.

He swallowed hard, bringing the pendant close to his lips.

"You have to work, just a little," he begged it. "Please?" He unclenched his fist, his stomach dropping. There was no light coming from the necklace and what little warmth it had had seconds ago faded. "I killed it," he breathed. How could this happen? It'd promised not to leave him!

_Why do I kill everyone around me?!_ He let out a frustrated scream, the portrait near the stairs coming to life. It began screaming insults, but Harry's mind couldn't process any of them. He hadn't even been able to keep a charmed necklace alive for over a week. Everything, everyone, nothing was safe around him. Anything that got near him died.

The necklace had been right. He should have stayed at the Dursleys. He could have slept the rest of his summer away and the necklace would be still be safe and functioning. Why hadn't he listened to it? All he'd had to do was tell Lupin no thanks when he showed up. He was angry with everyone here, so why had he gone with Lupin, anyway?

A shudder ran through Harry and he let out a sob. The necklace had protected him, had kept him sane, and he'd allowed it to die.

It wasn't even alive, he reminded himself, but it had been. To Harry, it had been. He brought the pendant to his lips and kissed it.

"I'm sorry." His head drooped; the pedant still pressed to his lips. Where had he gone wrong? If he was right, that shadow thing had been an extension of the necklace. The thing had been showing itself almost a week before Lupin had shown up. In fact, he'd been promising the necklace he'd keep it safe no matter what right before Lupin came into his house. They'd been on perfectly good terms. Why had it started lashing out at him once he got to number twelve? Had Dumbledore done something to it?

Shaking, he turned towards the stairs.

"YOU WORTHLESS INGRATE! YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ALIVE! GO ON YOU BLOOD TRATIOR! KILL YOURESLF! THAT'S RIGHT, THROW YOURSELF DOWN THE STAIRS!"

Without thinking, Harry pulled his wand out from his pocket and shoved it through the portrait's mouth. The painted woman let out such a high-pitched scream, the other people on the floor started exiting their rooms. He ignored them, his blood boiling as he pulled his wand down. The canvas gave a satisfying ripping noise; the screams easing up as he did.

He yanked his wand back.

"Now shut up," he growled at the thing.

The portrait said nothing more. Harry turned to regard his audience. Fred and George both stared at Harry before they vanished back into their room. Ginny was looking at him from another room, her face full of both fear and awe. She placed one foot out the door, seemed to think better of it, and instead shut herself back inside the room.

_Good, I don't want to be around any of them_. He was angry and sad and had no idea what to do. No one was going to understand how isolated he felt with the necklace now gone. Everyone in number twelve had had someone else to rely on, to talk to. Harry had been alone all summer, and now he was alone again.

Slowly, he made his way back to the bedroom. He passed Ron and Hermione who were sitting on the bed closest to the door and went to his own.

"… You okay…," Ron asked.

Harry ignored him. He knew he was still crying and that his face was bright red. There was no way they'd missed that. He climbed onto the bed, his back to them. What was he supposed to do now? Who would he talk to? Who was he supposed to share his darker thoughts with? Ron and Hemione would never understand him, not the way the necklace had.

At least he could keep it with him. A relic, a reminder that no one should get near him. All he was good for was causing pain and eventual death. He closed his eyes, wishing he had a time tuner, but he doubted the adults would let him have one for such a "trivial" object. They would all probably think it better the necklace was gone anyway. He was too dependent on it. He understood that. It wasn't like anyone was going to be able to fix that, though. No one would ever be able to replace the friend he'd made with the spirit dwelling inside the necklace.

**(X)**

"Nnn." Harry could just feel something, a noise he thought, trying to pull him from his sleep. He didn't want to wake up. There was no point. If Dumbledore wanted him in the dark, fine. He could remain unaware of everything. He was a trained pro at staying in a single room for days on end with limited amounts of food and water. It had been so much easier with the necklace, but he'd failed it so…

A hand brushed his bangs, weight shifting on his mattress.

Probably Sirius, he thought.

"Go away," he mumbled, trying to bury himself deeper into his blanket. He didn't want to be rude to Sirius, but he wasn't in the mood. They could try to get him out of bed once school started.

A finger traced his scar.

Harry's eyes snapped open, his green meeting red the shadow's red. His heart nearly burst. He sat up without thinking; the shadow losing its balance and falling on top of him.

"I, I can feel you," he said, his eyes darting to Ron's sleeping figure across the room. Lucky for him, his idiot friend was snoring too loudly to hear him. He turned his attention back to the shadow that was making no efforts to move. "Are you okay," he asked in a rushed whisper. He could just make the shadow out with the single lit candle in the room. Besides its eyes there was no distinction in its body beyond shape, and yet he found himself checking it for any signs of injury. "I was sure you'd…" He couldn't finish the sentence.

The shadow watched him, still without moving.

"I don't know how to help," Harry said, frowning. "If there's anything I can do…anything at all…" He gripped the shadow's hand. "Whatever you need. Please, you promised not to leave me."

The shadow tilted its head at that. With great effort, it brought one of its hands up and touched Harry's cheek.

A searing pain that started in Harry's head rippled throughout the rest of his body. He was sure he was screaming, and then he wasn't.

**(X)**

"You done being a git?" Harry felt a rough shove to his shoulder. When he opened his eyes, he saw Ron standing beside his bed, blurry as ever, and yet he could still make out the unfriendly look on his face. "Mum wants us downstairs for breakfast so we can start cleaning."

"Okay…" Harry yawned and pushed himself up to get out of bed and fell right back down onto the mattress. His entire body felt drained, every muscle protesting, like he'd spent the day before doing all the chores in the Dursley's backyard. Had the attack the day before strained his body that much? Not the most surprising thing. How many convulsions had he had? Then there was the headache. Why was he getting so many of them all of a sudden? He'd had a terrible one after the Dementor attacks and then yesterday after the shadow had spoken to him. Why would the shadow of all things make his head hurt?

"You okay?"

"Yeah...fine." He gave a small shake of his head, his world spinning, and closed his eyes. His head dropped back down onto the pillow as everything continued to spin. _I feel like shite._ He waited for all the dark feelings and anger to rush him now that his mind was awake, but surprisingly none of it came. He'd been sure he'd been grieving for weeks, maybe months last night, but here he was, calm. _Why don't I feel sad anymore?_ What kind of a person was he if he couldn't even grieve over a dead friend for less than a day. He pushed the idea away and tried to gather some energy before forcing himself to sit up.

"You look pale," Ron said, his voice quiet. "Are you going to puke again?"

Really? That's what Ron was scared of? Out of all the things that had occurred yesterday, he feared Harry puking his guts out again? And people thought he was crazy.

"Just tired."

"Maybe you should stay in bed," Ron said uneasily.

The idea sounded pleasant enough, perhaps the best idea Ron had ever suggested. Staying locked away in the room meant a peaceful day not having to talk to anyone or trying to keep his temper under control. It also possibly meant causing his godfather unnecessary worry. Besides, Harry couldn't deny being a little curious about Sirius and Lupin's relationship.

"I'll be fine," he said, more to convince himself than Ron. He shoved the blanket off and by sheer determination, climbed off the bed. When he didn't fall back onto the bed or collapse, he dared a step towards his trunk. Another. Kneeling, he opened the trunk and pulled out a clean t-shirt and jeans.

Changing proved more of a problem. He had to make sure Ron wasn't looking when he removed his shirt and then had to put the clean one on as fast as possible so his friend wouldn't see the necklace. He didn't know if Hermione had mentioned it after Lupin had made them leave, but he wasn't about to offer up any information either. Not when they'd been so kind as to leave him in the dark for the last month.

After he changed, the two of them left the room together. Harry wished Ron had left while he was changing, because he wanted to see if by some chance the necklace had regained some of its warmth or light, anything that meant it wasn't dead.

"Whoa," Ron said. The redhead had stopped at the end of the landing, looking at the wall. Harry glanced at what had his supposed friend so entranced. "You really wanted this thing to shut up. Wish I'd thought of doing this." He ran his hand over the canvas in awe.

_I didn't…_ Yes, Harry had stabbed the portrait with his wand out of sheer rage, but only once and in a straight line from the woman's mouth down. The canvas before him was in shreds, hardly any of it left. What small pieces that remained looked like they had been burned, their curled black ends hanging limply from the wall.

"You're scary right now," Ron said, shaking his head. "But you'll probably get a medal for shutting her up. Mum and Sirius tried everything yesterday." He removed his hand from the portrait and turned to Harry. "I know you're mad at me, but can you do me a favor?"

"Huh?" Harry tore his gaze away from the portrait.

"When we go downstairs, don't mention Percy to anyone."

"Why not?" That seemed like an odd request.

"Turns out he was more of a git than we thought. I'll tell you after breakfast." He descended the stairs.

Harry grabbed the pendant the second Ron started down the steps and pulled it out. He thought just maybe the dark circle had the tiniest glow coming from it. There still wasn't any warmth from what he could tell. He brought the pendant to his lips and kissed it before he slipped the necklace back under his shirt. He went down the stairs fast before Ron could notice he'd stopped following him.

It was strange. He kept waiting, almost wished he'd feel the crippling grief he had the night before, but nothing. Maybe the necklace had had him under some sort of spell and now that it was broke, he was free. Even more confusing, some part of him thought the necklace was still okay. That it would recharge like it always did.

_Or you're in complete denial_, he thought. He wasn't sure which of the two were better.

Ron pushed the door to the kitchen open and jumped back, almost knocking into Harry.

"Whoa!"

Harry caught sight of what looked to be a giant platter of sausages go flying across the room before the door swinging towards them got in the way.

"YOU TWO," Mrs. Weasley screamed. Harry caught a glimpse of her just before the door stopped swinging. She was wearing one of her gladiator looks. "I WILL HAVE BOTH YOUR WANDS IF YOU DON'T STOP!"

"But mum, we're of age! You can't take our wands," one of the twins laughed.

"WATCH ME!"

"Maybe we should just stay out here," Ron muttered.

Harry felt a smile tugging at his lips. For the first time since he'd stepped into number twelve, things felt normal.

"Come on." He rushed past Ron into the kitchen, almost regretting it immediately as a knife flew in front of his face and sheathed itself into the wall. The room was in complete chaos. Fred and George were bickering with their mother, and with the rage radiating off Mrs. Weasley, Harry was sure their wands were going to get confiscated before breakfast was over. Sirius was sitting at the table looking rather miserable. He had one of the sausages from the flying platter in his hand, but hardly seemed to notice he'd picked it up. Mr. Weasley and Bill were also at the table. Mr. Weasley was using his wand to clean up what looked to be a massive spill of orange juice while Bill was holding up a stack of dripping papers.

There was a rush of flames behind Mrs. Weasley.

"THE BACON! OH! YOU TWO SIT DOWN," she roared. She turned back to the stove. Fred and George laughed as they made their way over to the table.

"This isn't funny," Mr. Weasley said.

"We were just trying to help," Fred said.

"Honest," George added.

"Spare me," Mr. Weasley said, with a sigh. "Bill, put those papers away before someone else decides to help your mother cook."

"Let me dry them off first," Bill said, glaring at the twins. He tapped the stack of papers with his wand, all of them drying. "Evanesco!" The papers vanished from his hand.

Harry wanted badly to see what was wrong with his godfather, but Sirius hardly looked to be in a talking mood. If Harry didn't know any better, he'd think his godfather had been hexed with a body binding spell. In fact, no one in the room looked even mildly approachable.

_Okay, you can do this. I don't need the necklace._ Not for something like this, anyway. What good would it have done anyway? He couldn't pull it out and ask it anything with all the other people in the room.

"Feeling any better," Hermione asked quietly.

Harry turned, Hermione taking an immediate step back.

"I…yeah. About yesterday, I'm sorry," he said, only half meaning it. If anyone could help him find out more about the necklace and get it recharged, it was Hermione. Even if it drove him mad, he needed her on his side.

A smile crossed Hermione's face, and her shoulders relaxed.

"We both knew you'd be angry," Hermione said. "We just weren't sure how we could make it up to you, because we tried to write Harry. I don't know how many letters Mrs. Weasley took from us. Even Fred and George tried. Dumbledore caught them at the last minute. He was furious."

"Yeah… well…" Her words calmed the fire burning in him a little. So, they had at least tried. Of course, they'd tried. They were his friends, even if he was mad at them right now. He'd just been so angry he hadn't even let them try to explain. "You know why Sirius looks so depressed?"

Hermione glanced towards Sirius and pulled Harry into the opposite direction.

"Dumbledore's not letting him leave number twelve," she whispered.

"What? Why not," Harry asked.

"Shh!" She looked around, seemed satisfied no one was paying them any attention and went on. "Because he's still wanted by the Ministry and by you-know-who. After all that time running, you'd think he'd be happy to stay in one place for a while."

"That's not why he's unhappy," Harry said, understanding his godfather immediately. Sirius was angry he couldn't go out with Lupin and that he couldn't be of use to the Order. Or to someone.

"What do you mean?"

Harry wasn't sure if anyone else in number twelve knew about Sirius' and Lupin's relationship, but he wasn't about to be the one to tell everyone. And he most surely wasn't going to tell Hermione what he was sure was going through his godfather's head.

"Later," he said, using Ron's tactic from earlier. He left Hermione standing by the kitchen door and took a seat on Sirius's left side. "Morning."

"Morning," Sirius muttered until his eyes darted to Harry. "Sorry, Harry…"

"It's alright," Harry said. He knew how hard it was to be able to do nothing for someone you cared about. Cedric, his friends, the necklace, Sirius. He'd been forced at one time or another to just watch as their lives fell apart or ended, unable to do anything to help them. _I'm so pathetic._ If he'd tried harder, maybe the necklace would still be working.

"You don't look good," Sirius said. "Did you sleep alright?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "I didn't wake up once."

"You're probably just recovering from that," he said motioning to Harry's shirt. He raised an eyebrow when Harry unintentionally glared at him. "What?"

"Nothing," Harry muttered. He'd known full well what Sirius thought about the necklace. It still hurt to hear the words.

"Going to keep more secrets from me," Sirius grunted.

Harry looked at his godfather. Had he really just asked that?

"None of you get it," Harry mumbled. "I explained everything to you yesterday."

"I don't like it."

"I know you don't," Harry said. "But it's my best friend."

"It's a magical object, it can't be your best friend," Sirius said.

"Then I don't have any friends," Harry blurted out.

An awkward silence fell between them after that. Sirius didn't seem to know how to answer, and Harry was too frustrated to try. He'd thought Sirius, more than anyone would understand. They'd endured similar situations. Both of them had been imprisoned, though Sirius's stint in Azkaban had been far worse than anything Harry would ever endure at the Dursleys. They'd both spent long durations of time without any real conversations or being around any friends. Hell, Harry had even had Dementors try to steal his soul. How could his godfather write off such a precious item that could save him from loneliness?

Breakfast was served, and conversations began filling the room. Harry muttered a thanks when someone passed him a food item, but that was it. When they were finished Harry got up with his plate.

"Harry," Sirius called after him.

"What?"

"Look—"

"You of all people should understand," Harry said. He dropped his plate into the sink and sulked out of the room. Even if Sirius didn't, he was supposed to be on Harry's side. Part of him knew he wasn't being fair. Sirius only disliked the object because it had hurt him the night before, but that wasn't the norm.

He sat down on the bottom step, waiting for Mrs. Weasley to fetch him for cleaning duty. He blinked a few times, an idea occurring to him. The necklace was charmed. Charmed. He'd be returning to Hogwarts soon as long as he didn't get expelled. Professor Flitwick could take a look at the necklace. Surely his Charm's professor could fix it. He placed his hand under his shirt and held the pendant. There was still hope.

"Harry." The Gryffindor turned, not surprised to see Sirius coming towards him. He removed his hand from the pendant, Sirius sighing. "I do not understand your obsession with that thing." He sat down next to Harry on the steps. "It tried to kill you yesterday."

"I don't know why it did that either," Harry said. "This pedant was the only thing still talking to me after the Dementor attack. I wasn't receiving any letters, no visitors. It stopped my uncle from choking me. It snapped me out of the Dementor's trap," he said, repeating everything he'd mention the night before. "Dumbledore stopped all communication to me, but this pendant kept talking. My family doesn't speak with me. I'm basically a prisoner there."

Sirius drew a sharp intake of breath.

"So, when I thought everyone else had ditched me, this was all I had." He dropped his gaze to the floor. "But you can stop worrying. It stopped working last night."

"Why?"

"It said it'd used too much energy yesterday."

"Trying to kill you," Sirius pointed out.

"There has to be some explanation for what it did," Harry shouted. "But now I'll never find out, because it's broke!"

"What did it do before it broke, besides talk with you?"

"It answered any questions I had," Harry said, wiping tears from his face. "Anything. It couldn't predict the future or anything, but if I asked it how fast a dragon could fly, it could tell me. It lights up when it replies. The longer you ignore it, the brighter it gets. It used that to blind my uncle, so he'd let go of me."

"Let me see it."

Harry hesitated and realized there was no harm in handing it over. The necklace was already dead. He removed it and handed it to his godfather.

"I don't know what it did when the Dementor's showed up, but it managed to snap me out of my trance. If it wasn't for the necklace, I wouldn't even be here. Me or Dudley."

Sirius held the pendant up, turned it over.

"And it survived all that?"

"Well, after it did anything besides answer my questions, it would stop working for a while until it could recharge."

"I have no idea what kind of charm could do all that." He handed Harry the pendant back. "Maybe Remus has an idea."

"I thought you didn't like it."

"I don't, but we both shouldn't be miserable." He stood up and wiped some of the dust from his jeans. "Should really clean that," he muttered, heading back for the kitchen.

"Doesn't Lupin make you happy?"

Sirius stopped at that and turned back to Harry.

"Of course, he does," he said, eyeing Harry wearily.

"So why are you miserable?"

"You were still miserable when you had your pendant."

"I was not," Harry said, pouting slightly.

Sirius laughed.

"You wouldn't be fighting with Ron and Hermione if you hadn't been." He came back over to the steps, folded his arms on top the hand railing and rested his head on them. "Harry, you were basically left in solitary confinement and for that, I'm sorry. If I had known how those Muggles treated, you I would have never let Dumbledore keep you there after your birthday."

"Thank you…" It seemed Harry wasn't alone in being withheld information.

"I've done my share of time in solitary. It's not fun. You start losing touch with reality. The brick closest to you can become your best friend, and I'm guessing that's what happened. That necklace was how you coped. It's a magical item, a dangerous one at that. Now that it's stopped working, you'll see that Ron and Hermione are more important than that thing."

Harry didn't think that was true, but he didn't say anything.

"I'll help you get it fixed. I'll prove to you now that you have human contact, that necklace will be just another magic item to poke at. Might be good to use on tests if it can answer fact questions," he said.

Harry gave a small shrug. Maybe his godfather was right. Hadn't he even told himself those very reasons when he was still at the Dursleys? He still wanted answers, and he wanted the pendant fixed, but maybe having it not work wasn't the end of the world he'd thought it was.

"Okay."

"Good. I think Molly has us cleaning the drawing room today," he said, making a face. "Won't lie, it's going to be bad."

"Doesn't that mean it'll be exciting?"

"If you consider inhaling enough dust to kill you before the mold and Merlin knows what else is in that room, exciting, sure."

"Well, if it's that dangerous, then getting rid of it will be a big help to the Order right? We don't want any of the members to die inside the headquarters. And if the air is as dangerous as you say, maybe we can box it up and mail it to Voldemort."

Sirius let out a loud laugh at that.

"You are James' son," he said, straightening up. "Come on, before Molly thinks we're ditching cleaning duty."


	6. The Boggart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On to chapter 6. I can’t believe how many rewrites I had to do for chapter 5 to keep Sirius and Dumbledore restrained.  
Warnings: It’s still shounen-ai, gay, slash, yaoi, a boy dating a boy. Sirius is with Remus, Harry is with Tom. If this isn’t your cup of tea, please back away at a very fast speed, trip, and get out.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Harry followed Sirius down the hall. With some of his anger gone, and his obsession with the necklace subdued, he could take in the decrepit scenery around him. Each step they took caused the dark gray runner beneath their feet to send puffs of dust high enough to reach just below their knees. He noted some parts of the runner had been ripped or burned and it smelled horribly of mildew and possibly of something else, bodily, that he hoped he was wrong about.

The walls held just as much dust as the rug; their true colors nearly impossible to see. The words, "This is our place now," was written in the dust on the wall outside the kitchen door. Harry could hardly believe he'd missed so much the night before.

To the right of the kitchen door was a long hallway. This one luckily didn't house a runner with the intent of choking them with dust before they could make it across its entirety. "Library," Sirius said, motioning to the first door on the right. They continued down the hall until they had reached the end. A large thick dark oak door stood before them. "This is the drawing room."

"Shouldn't we wait for the others?"

"Scared," Sirius asked, grinning.

"No," Harry said immediately. "But we don't know what's in there." An image of a giant mountain of mold flashed in his mind's eye.

"That's half the fun! Where else are we going to get any kind of excitement?"

Harry wasn't sure if cleaning could be considered exciting. He'd done it most of his early life at the Dursleys, usually scrubbing the same spots two or three times, because once was never good enough for Aunt Petunia. He_ always _forgot a spot or didn't do something just quite right. He hoped Mrs. Weasley wasn't as demanding. He couldn't promise not to walk out of the room and into on-coming traffic if she turned out to be a cleaning fanatic.

Sirius was looking at him, his smile beginning to fade.

"Come on Harry, it's just a room."

"That you said had enough dust and mold in it to kill someone," Harry pointed out.

"We'll open a few windows," Sirius said, as if inhaling huge amounts of dust or mold was no big deal. No need to worry. Sure, it might knock you out, but in the long run? You'll be up and coughing your lungs up by dinnertime. At least you'll get out of cleaning duty for the day, right?

"Umm—"

"I think masks are a better idea," Lupin said, coming to Harry's rescue.

Sirius's grinned seeing Remus only for it to fade just as quickly as it had come.

"What are you doing here?"

"I asked to be put on cleaning duty today with you," Lupin said, lifting his eyebrow. "Is that a problem?"

"No," Sirius said. "Just thought your talents would be of better use outside," he mumbled.

"Sirius, we've been apart for years, _years,_" Lupin said. "And my much-needed _talents_ are exactly why they let me be selfish for today and stay with you."

"Remus, that's not what I meant," Sirius said, rubbing his temples. The look on his face said he knew Lupin was not happy with his choice of words, and he'd be in trouble if he didn't fix his statement. Now. "You're smarter than most the Order."

Lupin studied Sirius, sighed.

"Not your best cover. You're so lucky you're hot," Lupin muttered. He held up a paper bag. "I went to a Muggle hardware store. The masks inside will help keep the mold and dust from getting into our lungs."

Harry was so glad there was at least one other person in Number Twelve with a real Muggle background. Mr. Weasley might be in love with Muggle items, but he probably didn't know masks like this existed or that they were used for such things as cleaning.

"I mean it," Sirius protested.

"I know." Lupin winked at him before he turned his attention to the bag. "I bought enough for everyone." He removed a plastic case with a white cotton mask inside. There was a stretchable band attached to both sides by staples to hold the half sphere looking mask in place. In the middle was a round plastic piece that air could flow through. "The top part is adjustable to fit your nose. It might take a few tries, since you wear glasses. I'll put an anti-fog charm on your glasses so you can still see while you're wearing it."

"Thanks." Harry took the plastic container.

"I don't want anyone getting sick," Lupin, said passing one to Sirius.

"I had one coughing fit the other day," Sirius said, sounding irritated.

Lupin shot him a look that told him to be quiet, and his godfather did so.

"I'm going to hand these out to everyone else in the kitchen. Do _not _go in there without us." He looked at Sirius, then at Harry, daring either of them to challenge him and headed back for the kitchen.

"Was he always like this," Harry asked. The Lupin he remembered at school was, for the most part, timid. Harry knew he was strong and a good dueler, but his ex-professor had spent most of his energy on trying to stay standing straight and walk properly. Now he seemed to be overflowing with energy, and he was staring Sirius down. He might as well have been a different person.

"It's that new potion," Sirius said when Lupin vanished into the kitchen. "I'm glad it's working, but I'm not used to him being so assertive."

Harry didn't want his godfather to elaborate. What he'd seen now, and the night before was all the proof he needed. No need to add anything other examples. Harry was still getting used to the fact that his godfather and ex-professor were dating.

_They've been friends for years though, _Harry reminded himself. It's not like Lupin just stumbled across Sirius during Harry's third year. "How long have you two known each other," Harry asked. This seemed like a safe enough question to redirect Sirius's mind.

"Since my first year at Hogwarts," Sirius said. "Funny story really. So, I was supposed to join my cousins on the train, but I didn't care for them much and started looking for another compartment. Most of them were full, but then I saw James dragging Remus into one by the back of his shirt. Remus was trying so hard to get away, but it'd just been a full moon, so he didn't have any energy to fight back." He was smiling for real now. "Not that we knew he was a werewolf at the time. He was pleading with James to let him go, that he wanted to be by himself to read. So, I did the only thing I could possibly think of."

"You helped him get away from my dad," Harry asked.

"He got in front of me and shoved me into the compartment," Lupin said. "I landed on James and broke his glasses. James ripped my shirt, and Sirius had the nerve to walk into the compartment and lock the door so I couldn't run." Despite his words, he was smiling too.

"… Oh, but… you guys still became friends."

"I was held against my will," Lupin said.

"Until I bought you chocolate from the trolley," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"You owed me for the shirt," Lupin said. He approached the door.

"James ripped your shirt. He also fixed it."

"Sirius and James were barbarians every chance they got to be," Lupin said.

Harry didn't like the sound of that. He'd heard so many good things about his parents over the years, how could Lupin consider him or Sirius for that matter a barbarian?

_He's probably joking, _Harry thought. A lot of Sirius and Lupin's conversations seemed to be filled with jokes. He couldn't see Lupin staying with Sirius and his father if they'd treated him badly. He wouldn't be dating Sirius if that was the case.

"Says the guy who beat me up my fourth year," Sirius said. "I was in the infirmary for a week."

"Sirius, even I'm only capable of taking so much of yours' and James' crap." He pulled his wand out and tapped the doorknob with it. "Masks on before you enter the room." He pulled the mask down over his face. "Right, c'mere Harry." Harry did so, and Lupin tapped his glasses with his wand. "Let's get the mask on now," he said. Between the two of them they managed to get the adjustments just right so Harry could see with the mask on.

Breathing through the mask was strange. It wasn't hard, but even with the holes in front, the air was warm. He stepped into the room, Sirius following behind him, his wand out and ready. Harry had the distinct feeling he was about to enter a war zone. He stepped in behind his godfather, his own wand ready. The room was pitch dark. The windows seemingly charmed not to allow any light into the room.

Sirius made a quick wand movement, small globes of light floating out of his wand and filling the room.

"This is bad," Lupin said.

"No kidding," Sirius agreed.

The entire room looked like a convention center for nesting places. Nothing in the room seemed untouched. Holes had been dug out of the walls, the floor. The usual dust and mold were carpeting everything, but this time they were joined by other things that Harry could not identify. Some if it looked slimy, other sections looked like vines had grown inside the house. One particularly thick one had wrapped around an overstuffed chair. In another corner Harry could see what looked like multiple spider egg sacks piled on top of each other. A groan from behind Harry told him Ron had joined them. This room for sure had spots of blood on the carpet.

"Looks better than when I left," Sirius said.

Lupin shook his head, his eyes smiling.

"I knew this would be a challenge," Mrs. Weasley said. She whipped her wand, an army of cleaning solutions, rags, and cleaning equipment flying into the room and landing in front of them. "Where should we start?"

"We need to see if anything is still alive in here," Lupin said.

Lupin's process of checking for living creatures was getting mildly close to the infested looking areas and shining his wand light on them. There were more living creatures in the room then Harry thought possible.

Mrs. Weasley filled spray bottles with the proper potions and handed them out so they could decontaminate the area as best as they could. In short order they'd removed a number of things, some Harry recognized, such as the doxies, and others he didn't, which included multicolored glowing spiders that changed from one glowing light to another as they scuttled across the floor. Ron ran out of the room screaming when the first one came dashing out from beneath the couch.

Cleaning the room itself turned out to be a very slow process. While Harry was not asked to clean anything twice, he ended up having to do it, anyway. The mold and dust were so thick and old that it had actually hardened, and no amount of cleaning potion would loosen it up. Sirius had caught Harry struggling with a particularly bad growth of mold that had taken over a leg on a wooden chair. He took one look at it, told Harry to step back and had set the thing on fire. Harry had expected Mrs. Weasley or Lupin to scold him, but they didn't acknowledge the destruction at all. Lupin just handed Sirius a garbage bag for him to place the chair's remains in.

"I think we could all do with a break," Mrs. Weasley said. They'd just gotten the far wall with the windows scrubbed clean, it turned out to be a pale blue, not the dark green it'd been when they'd first entered. Once the mold and mildew were gone, and the anti-light charms were removed, light flooded into the room. "I'll go make some sandwiches." She left the room smiling, Harry could not figure out why. Yeah, they'd gotten one wall back to its original color and some light from the windows to shine through, but the majority of the room was still a hazard zone.

"Pretty sure there's a Boggart in here," Sirius said, giving the writing desk a hard nudge. The entire desk shook from side to side as if possessed.

Lupin came to stand next to Sirius and looked it over.

"Probably."

"More people here, the easier to handle, right Professor Lupin," Sirius mockingly asked.

"Belt it," Lupin said. "At least one of us had a job." He smirked at Sirius before returning his attention to the rolling drawer on top. We can't be completely sure it's just a Boggart. Your family was known to keep rather… questionable things."

Sirius scoffed at his words.

"We can take anything that comes out of there."

"So, you're going to tell Molly why four of her children are dead should the worst occur?"

"Git," Sirius muttered. "I'm opening it, anyway."

"I know," Lupin sighed. "Everyone else out."

The room erupted into groans.

"You can't be serious," Ron said. "It's just a Boggart."

"You screamed like a little girl when that spider the size of your foot ran across the room," Fred said.

"That's not fair Fred, Ginny doesn't sound like that at all. It's just Ron," George said, grinning.

"Right, Sorry Ginny," Fred said.

Ginny laughed while Ron glared at his older brothers.

"I mean it. Sirius may be mad enough to risk everyone, but I'm not." He walked towards them and began ushering them out of the room. "Go help your mother with the sandwiches. You to Hermione."

"I can stay, right," Harry asked. He didn't want to be with Ron and Hermione, not yet.

"'Course you can, Harry," Sirius said.

Lupin sighed. "If you must."

"Ready Moony? Count of three?"

"Just open it," Lupin said sounding tired.

Sirius gave a shrug and pushed the rolling drawer open. The Boggart darted out into the middle of the room where it threw itself onto the floor in the forms of Harry and Lupin's dead bodies leaning against each other, both covered in blood.

"I see you've given my corpse a companion," Lupin said, examining the Boggart.

It was very strange for Harry to see himself lying dead on the floor. It was pale, a streak of blood on his chin, a larger splash of blood on his shirt. Lupin's corpse was in much worse shape. It looked like his neck had been mauled by an animal, maybe another werewolf?

"_Riddikulus!" _Sirius's spell hit the Boggart dead on, the illusion twisting and reforming. Instead of turning into something amusing, it took on the form of something else immediately.

"You cheating on me, Remus," Sirius asked teasingly.

Harry didn't know what was going on, but his heart was beginning to beat fast. There was a dead body on the floor, but it was not his or Lupin’s, or anyone else he recognized for that matter. He took a step closer, his insides tightening, each breath getting harder to take.

"Would you blame me if I was?"

"Is that Cedric or something," Sirius asked.

"No, it isn't," Lupin said.

Harry shook his head. It was a teenage boy with hair somehow blacker than his own, but Harry couldn't place him. A part of him believed he should know who the teen was, after all, this seemed to be his Boggart, but nothing came to mind. He didn't see any external injuries beyond damage to the teen's robes, Hogwarts robes, with rips at the bottom. But he knew the teen was dead.

A flash of red light, a loud scream.

The sun from outside caught on something in the teen's hand and Harry's eyes widen. He took a step back and let out a scream when his foot caught on the rug. He landed on his bottom, his panic rising.

"_Riddikulus," _Lupin shouted. The form vanished, replaced by a full moon shining brightly within the room. "I'll take care of this. Get Harry out of here!"

Sirius was beside Harry and pulling him to his feet.

"Come on." He dragged Harry towards the door.

Tears were flowing down his face as he stumbled along after his godfather. He didn't know what to do. Harry no longer wanted to be in the drawing room, maybe not even in number twelve. He didn't know that teen's name. He had no idea who he was, and yet the corpse had been holding his necklace tightly in his hands.

**(X)**

Despite being sent back to his room, given a cup of hot chocolate, a candy bar, and Sirius staying with him for an hour before his godfather left again to help with something, he didn’t feel much better than when he’d first lied down. Harry couldn't remember what he'd said, but it didn't quite matter. All he could think about was the teen lying on the ground, obviously dead, with the necklace in his hand, and the overwhelming guilt that had followed.

_What if…_

"NO!" He brought his hands over his ears and shut his eyes tight. He was no longer in number twelve but somewhere at night, not far from the lake at Hogwarts. The teen he'd seen in the drawing room was beneath a tree, lifeless. Harry was looking down at the corpse, smirking, the necklace gripped tightly in his hand, streaks of blood on the pendant. "GRAAAH!" He got up, refusing to believe it. There was no way, just no way. He didn't know who that guy dead in the grass was, but he hadn't done it.

_But the Boggart didn't put these memories in my head. _He groaned, wishing again he'd never stepped foot into number twelve. There was no way he'd taken the necklace from that guy; someone had mailed it to him. Dumbledore would have said something. _I'M NOT A MURDERER!_

The guilt he felt was very real, and for some reason he couldn't trace it back to the source beyond the partial memory. All he could see was the dead, nameless teen and the necklace. Why couldn't he remember anything else?

He let out another frustrated growl and kicked the side of the bed as hard as he could. He kicked it again and again, waiting for the pain to start, because he was kicking the wood barefooted, but he couldn't feel anything.

Harry's body flew onto the bed. He turned onto his back, his breath ragged. He heard a small click telling him the door had been locked. The shadow he'd seen the day before was standing in front of the bed, its arms folded across its chest.

"Oh…" Another wave of guilt and depression washed over him. If the shadow was a part of the necklace and he'd killed the other teen for the necklace, then everything made perfect sense. Now that the shadow could escape from the necklace, it was going to take its revenge on Harry for killing the original owner. He'd thought the shadow had been his friend, the one thing in the world that had understood him. "I'm sorry," he said, sitting up in the bed. "I can't even remember him."

The shadow climbed onto the bed.

"I…" He what? He'd said he was sorry. He couldn't bring back the teen the Boggart had shown him. "I don't know what I did. I remember Cedric's death. I don't understand." No one had said anything about another death. Had he hidden that one? Killed the teen, took the necklace, and covered it up? Whatever the shadow did to him, he deserved it. "I don't know what I did, why, or how," he said with a sob. "But I'm not going to fight you. I deserve whatever I get."

The shadow grabbed his chin and forced him to look into its eyes.

"What," he asked, his anger slowly coming back. "Just get it over with!"

The shadow released his chin, a small flash of light appearing before Harry's eyes. His head began to throb immediately after.

'What are you talking about?'

Harry's breath caught in his throat. He'd definitely heard the words, but he hadn't.

'Answer me,' it demanded. The words were followed with a hint of anger.

"The necklace," he said.

This time he could just make out relief in his mind.

'Don't worry about that.' The shadow crawled up next to him and wrapped an arm around Harry. 'I'm not worried about the necklace right now. Just don't drop it or anything.'

"You're not mad? You're not going after me for revenge?" He turned so he could look at the shadow. He needed its approval. More than anyone else, he needed the shadow to forgive him, even if he could never forgive himself.

'Revenge, for what?'

So, the necklace held no loyalty to its previous owners. Did it even remember who owned it before someone else took possession of it?

_So, if someone takes it from me… _He wiped some of his tears away with his arm. It was just a necklace, after all. He couldn't expect a magical item to hold grudges and want revenge. Even if it acted like a living being, it wasn't.

"I won't let anyone touch it," he vowed, burying his face into the shadow's neck. "I'll die before I let someone else take the necklace."

_Which is exactly what the previous owner did, _he thought to himself miserably.

'I know,' the shadow said. It began stroking Harry's back with its thumb. 'Sorry, I wasn't with you today. I had to rest.' The words were followed by whispers of frustration.

"I, I managed," Harry said. "We were just cleaning the drawing room. It was pretty boring."

'Your mental state claims, otherwise, however…' it leaned over and kissed Harry on the back of the head. 'Delving into it now seems reckless. Rest for now.'

Harry lifted his head to protest. He needed to talk with the shadow. Not even Sirius had been able to calm his nerves but being in the shadow's arms had allowed him to breathe and his anger to clear.

'Don't fight me,' it said the anger back. Before Harry could protest, a rush of calm and peace filled his mind. He took one last look at the shadow before he sagged forward in its arms.

**(X)**

Harry groaned, turning over in his bed. He had no idea what time it was, but Ron was already asleep in the bed across from him, snoring loudly as ever. He looked to his other side, frowning. The bed was empty. Climbing onto his knees, he pulled the necklace out from under his shirt. He knew it was stupid, but he wanted to try. Needed to.

"Hey." He waited, even though he knew he wouldn't be getting an answer. The necklace was still devoid of any light or warmth. Scowling, he kicked the end of the bed. Of course, it had all been a dream. What else could it have possibly been? He knew all too well that the necklace had been broken. Even if it hadn't, he knew now why the shadow in it wanted him dead. It would be better if he just handed Dumbledore the necklace and told him that he'd killed someone for it. Another student that his brain seemed unable to recall. Perhaps the guilt was keeping it hidden.

Harry couldn't imagine ever killing someone for anything, let alone a necklace. He hadn't even killed the Death Eaters he'd run into. Why would he kill a Hogwart's student for this thing? And if he had, who'd he given the necklace to afterwards to mail to him?

His stomach let out a low growl, his eyes falling onto the candy bar. He'd slept through lunch and dinner. He sat up unwrapping the chocolate and broke a piece off. He wasn't completely sure he'd killed the teen, but if nothing else, he'd stolen his necklace.

_I should tell Dumbledore. _Maybe this was why the headmaster had wanted to keep Harry away from everyone and make sure he found out nothing about the Order's plans. Now that he had an idea about what was going on, he didn't blame the headmaster at all. He'd seen the necklace, though. Wasn't that all the proof he needed that Harry had done something horrible? Was he waiting for Harry to confess? How could he have done something like this? Sirius was never going to forgive him or ever be proud of him again. He'd let Mrs. Weasley, down and his friends, and everyone in the Order. The only person he was supposed to kill was Voldemort.

Harry's hand gave a sudden jerk, and he looked up, his eyes blinking, not quite believing what he was seeing. The shadow was next to him and chewing on a piece of chocolate it'd just broken off the candy bar.

"You're…" He grabbed the shadow's wrist and held it. It stared at him like he'd gone mad. He released it at once, just grateful that it had returned. He broke the entire candy bar in half and held it out. The shadow took it without a word.

Was he still dreaming? If he could continue to dream this way, with the shadow staying by his side, he was okay with it. He could sleep until he had to fight Voldemort or do whatever it is Dumbledore wanted him to do, and then he could go back to his dreams.

'Your mind is a mess,' the shadow said.

Harry gave a half shrug and set what was left of his candy bar on the bedside table.

"I think—"

'Mentally,' the shadow snapped its eyes darting to Ron.

"Huh?"

'Direct your thoughts to me so that worthless red head doesn't wake up.'

Harry had to hold back a laugh and nearly failed. Ron was not a worthless red head, at least not most of the time.

'Like this?' His head hurt the second he did it, but it was becoming more bearable. Nothing like it had been a day ago.

'Yes, go on,' it said, still enjoying the chocolate.

'I've been thinking…I must have wanted you really bad.'

The shadow moved the chocolate away from what Harry guess was its mouth.

'You could say that,' it said sounding amused.

_So, I did do it, _he mentally groaned.

'I never meant to cause you any harm, or pain, or anything, I swear. If anything, I did resulted in any pain whatsoever I'm sorry. The next time I see Dumbledore, I'm going to confess, and if you want to kill me after I kill Voldemort, fine. But until then you can't, okay? I hope you don't hate me, but—'

The shadow shook its head, eyes closing for a second, and held his hand up to Harry. A minute or so went by before it answered.

'One thought at a time,' it said, sounding tired. 'Even I can't process through that mess all at once.' It took a bite of the chocolate. 'I understood not wanting to cause me harm, Dumbledore, and don't hate me.'

'I did something really bad last year,' Harry said.

'Who didn't,' the shadow said, snorting.

'No, really bad,' Harry said. 'I need to tell Dumbledore what I did.'

'Okay, so what does that have to do with me and not hating you?' There was a hint of a growl in the words.

'I don't know what'll happen after I tell him. Actually, I'm pretty sure he already knows and just wants me to admit it.' He moved closer to the shadow, surprised at how warm and comforting it was to be next to it.

'That still doesn't explain why I'd hate you.'

'Because it's my fault you're here,' Harry said.

The shadow blinked at him a few times.

'Yes, you are.' Confusion tinted every word.

'If it wasn't for me, you'd…' Would the shadow lash out if he mentioned its previous owner? Had all of its memory been permanently erased when Harry had taken ownership? Had the necklace's previous owner been as enamored as he was now? Perhaps they'd been best friends and talked late into the night. Harry had not only possibly taken the teen's best friend; he'd definitely taken his life. 'If there's anything I can do to make it up to you…'

'I was just kidding about wanting you to stay with the Muggles,' it said. 'Stop over thinking things.'

'But—'

'If you want to make up for waking me up at three in the morning a day after I exhausted myself, hand over the other half of the candy bar.'

For a second Harry thought it was joking, but the shadow was still staring at him a minute later. He grabbed the other half of the candy bar and gave it to him.

_Him does sound right, _he thought wondering when he'd jumped the bridge of considering the shadow a him instead of a it.

'It's not the highest quality, but it's decent,' the shadow said.

'… If you're not after revenge, why did you attack me when we got here?'

'I wasn't trying to attack you,' he said tiredly. 'I was trying to find out the extent of this mental connection. It hurt more than I thought it would.' He sighed and finished consuming the candy bar.

'Isn't this because of the necklace?'

'If only it were that simple,' it said, its eyes closing. 'I really need to rest…'

'But you're staying with me, right,' Harry asked quickly.

'Mhmm.'

The shadow drifted off and yet its form remained in the bed next to Harry. He could see the shadow's chest rising as it slept. He moved down in the bed, so he was even with the shadow, and watched him. He had a sense of Déjà vu and took one of the shadow's hands in his own before he allowed his own eyes to close.

_I'm so sorry, _he thought. How could he be responsible for destroying a connection like this? And what in the hell had driven him to want to in the first place?

**(TBC)**


	7. Heated Emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came up in a pm after the last chapter, so other people are probably wondering this too, unless you’ve read the original. Yes, I’m quite aware Harry’s mental state is across the board. There is a 100% justified reason for this that you will find out in later chapters. The second question was is this story supposed to be confusing. Yes. I’m only six chapters in and I’m not about to answer everything right away. Harry is confused, and scared, and going through a lot. Since Harry doesn’t know what’s going on yet, neither do you, the reader. Not yet anyway. I apologize if this causes some of you to shy away from the story, but this is a rewrite and a lot of people like this story, myself included. I hope you can still enjoy the story.
> 
> Warnings: This is shounen-ai, slash, yaoi, gay, Sirius/Remus, Harry/Tom Don’t like, don’t read. 
> 
> Notes: (X) pov change and or time jump
> 
> WARNING NOTE: Major character death

"H, Ha, Harry!"

_Not again, _Harry thought. Part of him told him he should be alarmed. There was obvious fear in Ron's voice. As a good friend, hell as a good person, Harry should open his eyes and see why his friend was calling out to him. Harry also decided if Ron was any friend of his, he'd shut up and let him go back to sleep. He could still feel a dull throb in his head and unless someone was offering him a cure for it, he wasn't budging.

"Harry! Wake up," Ron said more urgently.

_Just go back to bed. _He moved over just an inch, his eyes snapping open as his body connected with something solid and warm. The shadow was still in bed next to him, perfectly visible. Heart hammering, he slid his hand across the blanket and touched it. Definitely solid.

A scream erupted from across the room. The candles brightened, not a single crevice left dark, and Ron screamed again.

The shadow's eyes opened. Harry could feel a sense of dread and knew he needed to shut Ron up.

His friend seemed to have other ideas. Harry sat up just as Ron came rushing at him, a pillow held high over his head. He brought it down hard onto the shadow's form. When it didn't vanish, he hit it again and again, his screams growing as the onslaught continued.

The dread in Harry grew and before he knew it, he was tackling Ron, the pillow landing on the floor, and pushing him back onto his bed. They landed onto it together with a crash, Harry on top of Ron. He gripped both of Ron's arms and held his friend down. The dread he felt eased up.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing," Harry demanded.

"CAN'T YOU SEE IT," Ron asked, horrified. "SOMETHING WAS IN YOUR BED!"

The door to their room slammed up against the wall, Sirius, Remus, and Mrs. Weasley running in. All three of them had their wands out.

"Ronald Weasley! What in the world," Mrs. Weasley demanded. "Do you know what time it is," she raged. She seemed to notice Harry was holding Ron down then. “Harry?”

“S-sorry.” He released Ron’s wrists and moved off him.

“What are the two of you doing,” she asked.

"B, but!" Ron pointed at Harry's bed. The three adults and Harry followed his outstretched finger.

To Harry's relief, the shadow was nowhere in sight. Not that it'd done anything wrong. Ron had just seen the thing and went nuts, but trying to explain it to the others wouldn't be easy. A conversation about the shadow would lead to the necklace and then to Dumbledore, and then to what Harry had done…

"Harry," Lupin asked.

"I don't know what's going on," Harry lied. "He _thought _he saw something I guess, because he ran over to my bed and started beating me with his pillow." He hoped Lupin would understand his meaning, because he didn't want to lie to him or Sirius, but Mrs. Weasley…he couldn't trust her. Not with this.

Ron's mouth fell open, a look of betrayal on his face.

"You had to have seen it," Ron shouted. "It was right next to you!"

"I didn't see anything," Harry said removing himself from the bed. He hated the look Lupin and Sirius were giving him. They knew he was lying. He hoped they also knew he would explain everything to them as soon as they were alone.

"What's wrong," Hermione breathed, running into the room, Ginny right behind her.

"Idle Ronnikins had a nightmare," Fred said from the door.

Harry wondered how long the twins had been standing outside of the room.

"About sent Harry to St. Mungo's with his pillow," George added.

"Shut up," Ron roared. He was on his feet now. "I know what I saw! There was some kind of ghost lying next to Harry in his bed! Was I supposed to just let it kill him?!"

"Do sleeping ghost kill people George," Fred asked.

"I think the better question is, can you kill a ghost with a pillow? That something we missed in Defense class, Hermione?"

"You two," Hermione sighed. She entered the room, giving it a once over before turning back to the adults. "Is this place haunted? I haven't seen any ghosts since we've arrived."

"Not that I'm aware of," Sirius said.

"Wouldn't be too surprising," Lupin said. "But no, I haven't seen any and Alastor would have mentioned it if there was."

"Oh…!" Mrs. Weasley let out a frustrated sigh. "This is why they shouldn't be here! This is too much on them!"

"Molly," Lupin attempted.

"There's too much anxiety and stress here! Too many hushed meetings getting them worked up! I knew we should have just kept the children at the Burrow!"

"This is the safest place from Voldemort," Sirius snapped. "If you want to take your family and leave, fine, go, but Harry stays here with me."

Mrs. Weasley looked like she was about to cast an unforgivable on Sirius. Her face went from pale to a dark shade of red, her body shaking. Harry wondered if she'd been taking lessons from his uncle.

"Just because you don't care about Harry's safety," she started in a calm tone.

"You don't trust him," Sirius roared. "Harry is more than capable of handling any situation thrown at him!"

"Harry's been a complete mess since he's arrived! He's acting like a completely different person! Not that I'd expect _you_ to know, you've only just now shown up in his life!" Everyone in the room looked at Mrs. Weasley. Even she was wearing a horrified expression at the words that had just slipped out of her mouth. "I… Sirius—"

"No, you're right, Molly," Sirius growled. "I haven't been there for him! I've been locked in Azkaban for a crime I didn't commit! Not that any of you bothered to find out if it was true! Not one of you trusted me," he screamed. "But I'm here now, and I sure as hell aren't going to let you take my godson away from me!"

Mrs. Weasley didn't seem to have an answer to that. She shoved her way out of the room, tears streaming down her face.

"Really Sirius," Lupin asked tiredly. He went after Mrs. Weasley, leaving everyone else standing around in awkward silence.

Ron gave Harry an accusing look and stormed out of the room. He could hear Fred, George, and Ginny going after him. Well, that took care of most of their spectators. Now he just had to get Hermione out so he could tell Sirius what had really happened.

"How is this my fault," Harry called after Ron.

"Let them cool off," Sirius said. "Molly and I have been butting heads over what's best for you since she got here," he muttered. "Hermione, can you go help with Molly?"

Hermione looked extremely torn. Harry knew she wanted to listen in on their conversation, but he needed to speak with Sirius alone. He nodded at her. Reluctantly, she left the room. Harry closed the door as soon as she was gone.

Harry had known that Mrs. Weasley and Sirius weren't in agreement, but he hadn't expected it to turn into some kind of war between the two. And even more unbelievable, it was over him. No one ever wanted him. Not as a friend, not as a family member. He sometimes thought everyone in the Gryffindor house hated having him, unless he won a Quidditch match. And now that he was pretty sure he'd killed some student he didn't recognize for a necklace; he couldn't blame any of them. All the students that had accused him of being crazy had been right. Sirius and Mrs. Weasley would probably disown him, too, if he mentioned anything about it.

While they were in the dark though, how could Harry even begin to choose?

He could never thank Mrs. Weasley enough for taking him in as she had. Hand knitted sweaters every Christmas, handmade cakes for his birthday. She always made sure he had enough to eat, and she sent him letters while he was at Hogwarts, making sure he was okay. She had given him the loving family that he'd never had.

Sirius was his family, though. Regardless of who had actual guardianship. His stomach sank just thinking about it, because if he thought about it, the ones with guardianship were the Dursleys.

Sirius had fought for Harry to be brought to number twelve. He'd tried to send him letters so he'd know exactly what to do if it turned out the Gytrash had bitten him so he wouldn't die. His godfather was also the only reason he could visit Hogsmeade. In that sense, Dumbledore had decided Sirius' claim to Harry was stronger than Mrs. Weasley's. She hadn't had the authority to sign his permission slip.

"Ah well. Molly and I were going to have it out sooner or later. Better here than in Diagon Alley." He gave a small shake of his head. "She thinks I'm incapable of taking care of you. That I don't have your best interests in mind," he snorted. "But you're going back to school soon and I'd rather you know what you're getting into rather than sending you in blind!" He turned his gaze on Harry. "You understand, that, right? You'd rather be prepared than caught off guard?"

Oh, how much Harry wished for that. He wished he knew everything, not just what was going on with the Order, but who'd sent the necklace and more importantly, how he'd obtained it in the first place. Did whoever sent it know about the crime he'd committed?

"Of course," Harry said. How much trouble had Harry gotten into, because he hadn't had the full story?

"Good," Sirius said, his body relaxing. "Because I'd hate to think I just pissed Molly off for nothing." He stretched his arms out and yawned. "Well, I doubt anyone is getting back to sleep. Already five," he muttered. "So, what really happened?"

"Actually, nothing," Harry said, frowning. "The shadow wasn't doing anything; it was just lying next to me in bed. Ron's the one that freaked out."

"Can't really blame him after the other day. I thought that thing was broken.”

“I thought so to, but it showed up last night.” He hesitated. “It was eating my candy bar.”

Sirius looked alarmed. “That’s…” He shook his head. “Dumbledore better know what he’s doing this time. Just… keep that thing under control."

"Yeah…" Harry had no idea if having the necklace gave him any control over the shadow. It was a nice thought, but he didn't think so. If he could control it, it wouldn't have caused him the pain it had.

"Guess I'll go start breakfast," Sirius said, sighing tiredly. "Any requests?"

"Anything is fine," Harry said. "I'll come help as soon as I change."

"Sure." Sirius left the room looking rather happy, happier than Harry had seen him since he'd arrived.

**(X)**

"Come on Molly, I'm sorry Sirius is being such a git," Remus said. He was standing in front of Molly's bedroom door; the room Molly had locked herself in. He could hear her crying, loud sobs filling the room. _I should have forced them both out, _he thought tiredly. He'd known allowing Molly and Sirius to be in the same room was not the best thing, and with Harry? He might as well have stuck a match and thrown it onto a pile of dried up papers. The results would have been the same. A huge fight that dragged everyone in and destroyed the trust they had in each other. Trust they would never be able to build back up to where it'd been. "We're all stressed and tired. Give Sirius about fifteen minutes. He'll calm down and apologize, I promise."

The door unlocked and swung open just a few inches. Remus did not hesitate. He dashed into the room and shut the door, grateful for the energy he had thanks to the new potion Dumbledore had been giving him.

Molly was sitting on the edge of the bed, a box of tissues next to her. Her eyes were bright red, her nose swollen.

"It, it's not all his fault," she sobbed. "I, I said such horrible things!" She cried louder, Remus cursing under his breath.

"I promise, he won't hold it against you," he said moving towards her. He pulled her into a hug, wishing Sirius for once in his life could have more control over his mouth or just be a tad more tactful. He knew Sirius loved Harry more than anyone in number twelve. That much had been proven when everyone else had decided to abandon Harry at the Dursleys after the Gytrash attack. If he'd been there, had known what was going on, he'd have been at the Dursleys' that night. Instead, he'd been stuck dealing with a pack of werewolves and for his own safety, out of contact with the Order.

No one else had dared to second guess Dumbledore's orders. Remus had returned home to find an extremely frustrated Sirius who'd only remained in number twelve, because Dumbledore had threatened to turn him into the Ministry himself if he stepped outside. Sirius had still left and gotten as far as the store a few blocks from the house when Kingsley had found him as a black dog. Sirius hadn't stood a chance when the Auror used a body binding curse on him. The only reason Sirius had been released from the basement a few days later was thanks to Remus returning home from a mission. No one had wanted to be the one to inform Remus that Sirius was locked up in the basement and thought it better to just watch him.

From there, Remus had gotten filled in by Tonks. Remus had grabbed Alastor, who'd just returned from a mission himself. Tonks agreed to join them and the three of them left to grab Harry minutes later, before Dumbledore could try to stop them. To think that Dumbledore, that everyone else in the Order, people who were supposed to be protecting Harry, had allowed for his possible death at the Dursleys, by a possible Gytrash bite no less, had appalled him. He didn't care if Dumbledore had his reasons, Harry didn't deserve to be left for dead, because bringing him to number twelve any sooner didn't fit into the headmaster's plans.

So, if Remus was being honest, Harry's safety and best interests were with Sirius and himself. How could anyone else claim such things in the Order? He'd been shocked that Molly hadn't tried to put up some sort of fight. Even Ron and Hermione had tried sending Harry a first aid kit through the twins disguised as a box of chocolates. The only reason they'd failed had been Dumbledore's anti mail charm placed on the Dursleys' house.

Regardless of all of that, Remus knew, and had warned Sirius, they couldn't take it out on the other Order members. They deserved it, but putting a wedge between them and the rest would only result in worse problems down the line. Besides, they'd gotten Harry in the end. And thank Merlin for that. Remus had expected to enter the Dursleys and find Harry dead or near death in his room. He didn't know of a single witch or wizard that had survived a Gytrash bite without proper treatment after the first few hours of the bite. That Dumbledore had taken such a gamble…

Luckily, he'd only gotten scratched, and even luckier, Harry wasn't a fool. He'd cleaned the scratch extremely well, as good as any healer at St. Mungo's would have. When Remus had seen Harry on the top landing, he'd lost his composure. He'd been so happy; he'd hugged Harry without a second thought.

"He should," she said, her voice calmer now. "Oh, Remus, he has every right to be angry with me, with all of us! Sirius was the only one who questioned Albus!"

"We all agreed to put this behind us," Remus said. "Harry's safe and here."

"Bu, bu, but we didn't know that for sure!" She began to sob again. "W, wh, what if he'd…!?"

"A little late for regret Molly," Remus said, giving her a tired smile. Even he could only fake being okay with the Orders' past choices so much. "Let's focus on what we can do for Harry now. Like not making him choose between you and Sirius."

"You're right," she said, using a tissue to wipe some of the tears from her face. She blew her nose into it. "I'm just so embarrassed and so worried. I want to hide everyone away from this awful mess!"

"We all do, but unfortunately hiding doesn't help. If we just stayed in number twelve and did nothing, we'd be no better than the Death Eaters supporting Voldemort." She shuddered at the name and Remus stood up. Now he'd have to convince Sirius to calm down before Molly approached him.

"You're right… you're always right, Remus. You're one of the few people here who manage to keep yourself together. I don't know how you do it."

"Years of practice," Remus answered. Years of dealing with James and Sirius and all their pranks. Of being screamed at by the pranked victims. Of entering his dorm and never knowing exactly what he was walking into. A few times he'd had no choice but to turn around and leave. His lifetime of running, of having to endure the racism, because he was a Werewolf. Having Sirius taken from him and sent to Azkaban just months after they'd agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. Sirius making him promise to never visit him in Azkaban. And during it all, he'd been the one who had to remain calm, because if he'd lost control, the situation would have compounded into a hellfire storm. "I've learned to have patients, with everything." He had to hold back a twitch and keep a half-forced smile on his face as he said it. The whole world was lucky he'd been so drained as a child from the werewolf curse that he'd learned to be patient and endure. If he'd had the energy, he had now than, there would have been a lot of injured people. He probably would have been next to Sirius in Azkaban.

"Oh…" Molly was looking at the clock setting on the bedside table. "It's almost five… It's my turn to grocery shop. I think I'll go before I run into anyone else… thank you again Remus." She stood up and went over to the wooden dresser.

"No problem Molly. Did you want me to come with?"

"No… no… I need some time to think… and…" She stopped going through the drawer. "What can I do to make it up to him?"

"Fire Whiskey," Remus said. "But given the circumstances don't." He tried to think what a safer option would be. No one in the house needed to be drunk, or even a tad tipsy. Anything could happen at any moment and they had to all be ready for that. An idea struck him, and he smiled. "Get the ingredients for Beef Wellington, only get field mushrooms and Aah! Bistro Gravy Granules," Remus said. "I should have time to grab the Fairy Mushrooms from Diagon before dinner tonight."

"Wh, what?"

"I know it sounds odd, but Mrs. Potter didn't like following cookbooks and well. She substituted as she went," Remus explained. More than once he'd visited the Potter home and Mrs. Potter had cornered him every time to ask about Muggle ingredients. She claimed her husband was tired of the same old dishes and she needed help keeping him happy. Remus had no idea if that had been the case, but he'd gone along with it just the same. It wasn't a big deal and she earnestly wanted advice. He enjoyed talking with her and she was offering him to stay in her home, happily, despite knowing his curse. She'd also been the one to help him get Sirius.

A smile crossed his face. Every time she could sneak in praise for Remus when Sirius was around, she did. James had accused him of being the son his mother had always wanted, at least where grades and manners were concerned. It'd almost gotten them into a fight, and Remus had been forced to come clean about his feelings for Sirius. He'd finished by promising James a very horrible and slow death if he ever told anyone before he was ready.

"The list is in the kitchen. I'll go grab it." He turned and gave Molly another smile. "And don't worry about any of this. It'll be okay."

"Thank you, Remus," Molly said, returning the smile.

"You're welcome." He left the room so Molly could change. At least he'd gotten lucky and her children had been persuaded to go back to their room by their father. He owed Arthur for that one. Trying to get Molly calmed down with Fred or George twisting the situation into something it wasn't would do them no good.

Now he not only had to convince Sirius to apologize, regardless if he meant it. He needed to get Harry to get the shadow under control. If he couldn't….

_Dumbledore will stop by tomorrow for Harry, _he thought, tiredly. He had to grab Harry for the court hearing. Of all the stupid things Fudge had tried, this was one of the stupidest. It was bad enough he was trying to make it sound like Harry was crazy in the Daily Prophet. If he managed to get Harry expelled, he'd be discredited for life. No one would ever believe Voldemort had returned, even if he walked down the street waving a flag stating as much. _Why are so many people okay with being ignorant?_

A mouth-watering smell washed over him before he even reached the bottom of the stairs. It grew as he approached the kitchen. When he entered, he stopped and just stared. Sirius was mixing something in a bowl while Harry cooked beside him. Both of them looked happy. Remus noted that there were mushrooms and cheese set to the side as well as bacon.

_I'm so glad we got to him in time, _he thought. He'd have never forgiven himself if Harry had died, if he'd been hurt at all. He'd have never found peace again, because James, Lily, and the Potters would have tormented him for the rest of his life if Harry hadn't survived. _And Sirius would have lost his mind._

He didn't want to intrude, but maybe it'd be easier to get Sirius to agree to an apology if he was in a good mood. If not, he'd have to corner him later when he was alone.

"Hey." Sirius and Harry turned at the same time to look at Remus and he couldn't help laughing. They were wearing identical expressions, shock that they'd been caught doing something innocent and curiosity. "Should I be worried about those looks?"

"No," Sirius said. "We're making oatcakes with cheese and mushrooms and bacon on the side."

"It smells delicious," Remus said.

"Was Harry's idea," Sirius said.

The two of them turned back to their activities.

"I have to leave soon. Sirius, I'm begging you. Apologize to Molly later. She feels horrible about what she said, and she wants to apologize too. We can't have Order members fighting each other."

"Course I'll apologize," Sirius said. "You told me I was allowed to hate only one Order member at a time, and you know exactly who that's reserved for."

"Sirius…"

Sirius set the spoon in the bowl and turned to Remus.

"I'm mad, but I'll get over it, I promise. I don't hate Molly. She looked after Harry for years when I couldn't. I'm grateful for that, but now that I am here, it's my turn."

Remus threw his arms around Sirius, glad that for once, his lover was being sensible. He'd half expected to have to fight Sirius just to lie to Molly, but it seemed he understood. That made this whole ordeal a lot easier.

"Thank you…" He rested his forehead against Sirius's. "Don't get into any fights over custody while I'm gone. I'll be back before dinner."

Sirius grabbed his wrist.

"Be careful."

"I will." He gave Sirius a quick kiss on the cheek. "A lot more than you ever are," he added with a smirk.

"I know or I wouldn't be letting you out of this house." They exchanged another kiss, Remus revealing in it. He'd been so against dating Sirius at first, doing everything he could to silence his own feelings. He'd tried to keep a wall up between himself and Sirius that had only resulted in him wanting Sirius more. His friends and Mrs. Potter had cheered him on even stronger. Every time he tried to get a moment alone, there was Sirius, ruining his quiet. Eventually, he'd realized Sirius was so far caught up in his mess, it didn't matter if he dated him. What difference would it make? His friends had made sure Sirius was with him every waking second, a few times he'd woken up to Sirius drunk in his bed. Shifting from friend to boyfriend had been simply a matter of formalities by the time he'd grabbed Sirius at Hogsmeade and demanded a proper date from him. He was so grateful his friends had pushed him to tell Sirius.

"I love you and I'll see you later," he whispered. "Behave."

"Must you always add behave," Sirius asked, with a fake pout.

"Yes," Remus chuckled. "I don't want to have to lie to Dumbledore if he asks why I didn't tell you not to cause problems." Sirius released his wrist. "Alright. I'll see you later. Harry, no more incidents?"

"I'll try," Harry said, not looking at him.

Remus could tell Harry's face was bright red. He probably wasn't used to seeing people show affection to one another.

_Ah well, once he falls for someone he won't think twice._

He removed the grocery list from where it had been attached to the fridge and left. He hated leaving without Sirius. It wasn't so much he didn't think he could handle himself. Remus knew he was a more capable fighter than half the Order members, at least physically now that he had the new potion. He just hated leaving Sirius stuck inside number twelve all day, every day. There had to be some way around that.

"Remus, did you get the list?" Molly was just heading down the steps.

"I did." He handed it to her. "I talked to Sirius and told him no more fights for custody." Molly's face flushed at his words. "Dumbledore will be here tomorrow to take Harry for his trial—"

"The trial—!"

"We'll go from there."

"I completely forgot Harry's trial is tomorrow! He must be so nervous," she said. "How could I forget? It's all this stress, Remus!"

"It's okay, Molly. Sirius is in there making oatcakes with Harry. He'll keep Harry's mind off the trial."

"Oh… we'll need dessert and a cake for tomorrow! Oh, there's just no way they can expel him!"

"No, there isn't," Remus said. "So, no one needs to worry." Of course, he was going to worry, because these were not normal circumstances. He'd never heard once of a witch or wizard ever being brought to trial for defense against a magical creature. Fudge was trying to do everything in his power to ruin Harry's life and shut him up. None of them were going to let that happen.

**(X)**

This was exactly what she'd needed. The sun had risen by the time she'd left number twelve. She'd arrived at the store with no hassle, the weather warm, with just a hint of a breeze. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky. It was a shame they couldn't have a barbeque. That would lift everyone's moods.

The store had just opened its door when she got there, all its shelves stocked and ready for the day. She loved this Muggle store. It was cozy, large enough to carry all the ingredients they needed to feed the Order, but small enough to only have groceries in all its ten aisles. There were only two people inside the shop to check people out. One of them, a teenage blonde boy, probably close to Ron's age, was currently setting up a tower of canned green beans not far from the front.

She couldn't shop there all the time. No, with the Order trying to stay secret, she was forced to shop at five different stores throughout the month, but this one was her favorite. And, while her pride wouldn't let her admit it out loud, she rather enjoyed not having to worry about money when she shopped now. Of course, she was a pro at making money stretch, but if she saw something, she thought one of her children would enjoy, or a good sale on a certain item she could stock up on, she was free to do so.

The shop smelled of fresh bread, courtesy of the bakery it shared a connecting door in the back with. The grocery store usually kept the door open to allow the smell of baked goods to waft through. A hungry person bought more groceries after all. And once they finished buying more than they intended, the shopper would still end up in the bakery to buy something else.

Today she was justified in giving in to that smell. Remus had told her to get a cake from the bakery, though she suspected her homemade recipes were much better. But she'd done enough damage for the day and wasn't about to cause any more trouble. Remus had managed to soothe things over and when she returned with the groceries, she'd have to swallow back everything she believed to be right and apologize to Sirius.

She pulled out a small shopping cart from its home, amazed at the things Muggles came up with sometimes. A metal basket with wheels! Ingenious in its own way. Poor Muggles couldn't exactly float their purchases home or shrink them all to fit into a single bag. She pitied every Muggle she saw struggling to juggle a bag or two and hold one of their toddler's hands to cross the street.

"Good morning," she said cheerfully to the worker behind the counter. He was a tall man with brown hair and a good-natured face.

"We're having a sale on green beans today," the man said just as cheerfully. "And Raspberries."

"Thank you." Fresh fruit would be a great addition to the shopping list. It was healthy and sweet, so getting her children to eat it wasn't nearly as complicated as having them eat vegetables. Ron, on the other hand, was a bit more stubborn, but he'd have to get over it. If he didn't want any raspberries, he didn't have to eat them.

A plastic container of strawberries caught her eye, and she stopped. Ron was fond of strawberries. Her eyes flickered to the price, wincing slightly. They were just about out of season, but… She plucked the container anyway and put them into her cart. The children were having a rough enough time as it was. A few sweet things would improve their moods and perhaps stop them from having nightmares. As she thought that, she realized it should have been Harry having the nightmares, not Ron.

_I guess he's just more sensitive than we thought, _she mused. Nothing wrong with a sensitive man. Arthur was plenty sensitive, and he was the definition of a proper man. _Remus too,_ she thought.

She checked off each item on the list, adding a few extra things, some Muggle cleaning solutions, a mop, and the two items Remus had told her to get for Sirius's apology dinner. She could feel her face flush at the thought. Sirius didn't deserve to be apologized too, not in this case. How on Earth could any responsible adult think it okay for their child to know what was going on? She didn't even want to know half of what was going on. It terrified her to think about what some of the Order members were doing. Albus was on her side, though. He had wanted Harry left out of everything and he would agree with her. She would be permitted to take the children back to The Burrow where they could be kept safe and away from all the dangers and information passing from member to member.

When she was finished purchasing her items, she passed through the back door that connected the store to the bakery. It was a small bakery with just a few plastic tables pretending to be wood and black chairs to the left side. A long glass counter that began at the right wall and wrapped around at the far left took up most of the back. Inside was filled with numerous pastries, most of them breads and other breakfast items right now, and a few cakes. The smell of fresh bread was stronger, and she wished she'd eaten something before she'd gone shopping. She would have started another fight the second Sirius opened his mouth, though.

"Good morning," a woman with a short ponytail called out. She placed a fresh tray of scones inside the glass counter before giving Molly her full attention "How can I help you today?" She was grinning ear to ear.

"I need a cake," Molly said, scanning the baked goods in front of her. "There was a strawberry one, a chocolate, and a vanilla. If she remembered correctly, however, Harry was more of a spiced or pumpkin fan. "Is there any chance you have a pumpkin flavored one?"

"A pumpkin-flavored cake," the woman asked, making a face.

"Or spiced," Molly said.

"No. We only have spiced cakes towards the winter holidays. I'm sorry."

"I suppose chocolate will have to do then."

The chocolate cake was a single tier, round, and decorated with flowers. She decided she could write congratulations on it herself. The woman boxed the cake up and Molly gave her the Muggle money, almost fainting when she heard the price. She could have made two cakes for what she just paid!

Now came the fun part. She would have to balance the cake and her bags of groceries until she was able to shrink her parcels. Last time she'd brought the twins with to help her carry things. If she hadn't been in such desperate need of alone time, she'd have brought them again. If she called a cab, she'd have to wipe the driver's memory after he dropped her off, and she hated doing that. It made her feel like a bully.

"Ma'am, would you mind if I have a scone?" She stepped towards the counter, leaving her purchases on one of the small tables. "I think I need to sit after all this shopping."

"Sure!" Molly took the scone, the woman taking the money. She went back to the table and sat down, nibbling on the blueberry scone she'd just purchased. It felt like forever, but the woman finally left to check on some bread in back. As soon as the door swung shut, Molly pulled her wand out and shrunk all her bags and the boxed cake. She stuffed them into her purse and exited the bakery before the woman could question where her things had gone.

The sun was still bright when she stepped out, the air fresh, and she knew, somehow, today would be a great day. Perhaps when Albus came tomorrow, she could get Sirius to agree to something. He had to know deep down that Harry didn't belong at the headquarters any more than Ginny or Ron did. Everything would work out for the best.

She inhaled a large breath of air and smiled. They could have the fruit with some whipped cream on individual shortcakes. That would make them all feel better. A small taste of summer.

The breeze picked up, bringing with it the smell of flowers and other wonderful scents that told of summer. She smiled again marveling at how lucky she was to be enjoying such a beautiful day and collapsed to the ground, her purse landing beside her with a dull thud.

**(TBC)**


	8. Reassurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I muttered the words rewrites are easier and jinxed myself. I knew it’d happen and did it anyway. It didn’t help I’m on sinus infection 3? 4? They have to do some more cutting, but they can’t until the infection is gone.  
Random: Don’t you love it when you change your story to the suggestions of a grammar program and then it gives you a lower score than your original text? I mean…come on…  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, boy love, whatever you call it. Harry/Tom and Remus/Sirius  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

'Hey.' Harry had been trying to get the shadow's attention for the last forty minutes or so while his sanity slowly seeped through his fingers like the soapsuds from the sponge he was using on the dirty dishes. And again, his thoughts hit a wall inside his mind. It was weird and somehow unnerving. He hadn't even known mental communication was possible until the shadow had spoken to him that way. Each time they spoke he was sure someone was stabbing his brain with a quill, but now that he couldn't reach the shadow, he felt lonely.

He set the now clean plate to the right onto a towel to dry before grabbing another dirty one from the tower on his left. The tower that never seemed to end, no matter how many plates he managed to make sparkle, and he'd washed quite a few of them already.

It was possible he was just moving slow. He needed answers from the shadow, and the pendant still wasn't working. He wanted to ask about the trial and in a very roundabout way ask about the student he might have killed for the necklace hanging around his neck.

_Right, possibly,_ he thought, rolling his eyes. Sure, he didn't remember hurting the student, hell. He didn't even remember the student. The only insight he'd gotten from the Boggart's splendid display was the feeling of triumph. None of it explained why, though. Even he had his dark thoughts when it came to people like Draco Malfoy, but he'd never acted on them. What could have sent him over the edge to harm someone? Maybe if he needed to keep his friends or himself safe, but to steal a necklace?

Scowling, he scrubbed the dish in his hand harder. Why couldn't he remember anything? Had he allowed himself to slip into denial and shove the memory so deep down he'd never remember it?

'I'm going to try something.'

"AGH!" Harry dropped the plate into the sink and doubled over, his brain, no, his very spirit throbbing. Tears began to stream down his face. With what sense he had left, he sat down on the floor, his back against the wooden cabinet beneath the sink. The shadow appeared before him and then the pain stopped. No warning, no grand buildup, just gone.

'Does it hurt now?'

Harry stared up at the shadow, surprised. There was no pain followed behind its words.

'No,' he said, testing it. 'What did you do?'

'I figured out how to close some parts without closing others,' he explained. He held his hand out to Harry. The Gryffindor took his hand, and the shadow pulled him up. 'I was about to go mad,' he muttered, releasing Harry's hand once he was on his feet. 'At least we know there's a way to close it. I was beginning to worry.' He walked over to the kitchen table and sat down in one of the chairs.

Harry frowned and followed the shadow to the table. The familiarity he'd felt with the necklace was back now. There was no edge to his words or hostility. No sudden overwhelming emotions coming from nowhere. Had the shadow just been lashing out because of the pain?

'So… we can talk this way,' Harry asked. He sat down in the seat closest to the shadow. 'What about the necklace?'

'This is safer. No one will be able to hear your side of the conversation.' A mental laugh followed, and Harry's heart skipped a beat. The sound made his whole body feel warm and something else. Happy? Lucky? Whatever the emotion, he wanted to hear the shadow laugh more. 'That useless redhead of yours is lucky I didn't kill him this morning.'

'He was just surprised to see you in my bed,' Harry said. He didn't know why he was defending Ron. The redhead sure didn't deserve it. _No…_ It surprised Harry that he still considered Ron his best friend, despite their current fight. Sirius and the shadow took priority in this case, would always take priority, but Ron wasn't at the bottom of his defense list either. 'I was surprised to see you too.'

The shadow tilted his head.

'Why were you surprised? You were the one who asked me to stay with you this morning.'

'Every time I wake up, you're gone already.'

Harry wished the emotions were still tinting every word the shadow spoke. Being able to have a conversation with the shadow devoid of intense pain was an improvement. He could focus on what was being said, but the lack of emotions made it hard to read the shadow. With only the shadow's eyes and overall body language visible it was impossible to see the normal reactions a human face made while talking and that put him at a huge disadvantage. A small amount of pain might be worth it.

'You're right… I haven't been giving you the attention you deserve,' he said. His eyes shifted to the door, then back to Harry. 'This would be so much easier if I had more energy.' He let out a sigh. 'I don't even want to think about tomorrow.'

The shadow placed his hands on the table. Harry's own hand covered the shadow's before he even thought it through. He hoped this wouldn't trigger some instinct in him to murder Harry but removing his hand would probably make his situation worse. The shadow didn't seem to mind, and Harry felt his body relax.

'I'm not going to win this trial,' Harry said. There was no use in denying it. Fudge would do everything in his power to see Harry kicked out of school and maybe even thrown into Azkaban. Anything at all to discredit Harry more and make others believe in Fudge's position. To think Fudge would lie so blatantly and possibly cause so many unnecessary deaths by putting people into a false sense of security. To make others believe that Voldemort was still nothing more than an old nightmare. How could people be so blind? 'So…'

'Do you actually think I'd let them take you,' the shadow asked, amused. He didn't laugh, but Harry could see the humor in his eyes.

'I'm serious,' Harry said, doing his best to keep his emotions in check. 'Do you want me to hand the necklace over to Dumbledore before the trial, or leave it here on my bed?'

The shadow stared at him, his eyes narrowing. In one swift movement he moved his hand from beneath Harry's and wrapped it around the Gryffindor's arm. The shadow dug his fingers in. Bruises and breaks in Harry's skin appeared before his eyes, pain shooting up his arm.

"Stop it," he hissed. He tried to pull his arm back, but the shadow tightened its grip, small streaks of blood pooling at the scratch marks.

'You will do no such thing,' he growled. 'We will enter that courtroom together. Should anyone, and I do mean anyone, attempt to separate us, the ministry will be cleaning up a massacre.' He removed his fingers from within Harry's arm and placed his hand on top of the cuts. Tiny streams of blood began to spread out across Harry's arm. The blood disappeared along with any pain Harry had been feeling. '… Sorry,' he muttered, moving his hand in his lap.

'You… you can't just kill everyone… and… stop attacking me,' Harry said. He gave a quick look at his arm. There was no trace that the shadow had harmed him. At least he'd taken the time to heal the damage he'd caused this time.

'Excuse me if your complete lack of concern for your own life enrages me. I thought we had come to an understanding about this subject already. You do not get to throw your life away just because you think you're out of options.'

'What?' Harry wasn't quite sure what the shadow was talking about. He made it sound like Harry was attempting suicide or something. 'I just want you safe,' he said, hoping the shadow would understand. It seemed the dependency and protectiveness Harry had been experiencing since he'd gotten the necklace went both ways. If the shadow formed such an irrational attachment with the person who owned the necklace though, how did Harry manage to kill and steal the necklace from that student? Especially with the shadow protecting him.

'If you end up in Azkaban, you'll be murdered for sure.'

'Oh…' That was true. He probably wouldn't last a day in Azkaban, if not because of the Death Eaters, then the Dementors.

'Did you hit or your head or something after the last task?'

'Huh?' For a second Harry thought he was going to pass out. Had he been wearing the necklace before the last task? He didn't think so. Like the student, there was nothing in his mind about what took place after the last task, no matter how hard he tried to remember. The more he tried to recall anything, the further away the memories seemed. He couldn't focus on a single one. The few he could remember kept shuffling back and forth. He was at the lake, ready to jump in, then at Hogsmeade, on the train, in the Great Hall. Back at the lake. 'I don't know,' he admitted. It scared him that there was more he couldn't remember and even more so that it hurt to try to sort through them. 'It's probably the shock.' What else could it be?

The shadow studied him for a moment.

'I need to go talk to someone.'

'You can't,' Harry said, the pain and fear related to trying to recall after the last task vanishing. 'Please… don't say anything about number twelve…'

'Harry,' He leaned towards him. 'I will never betray you unless it's to keep you alive.'

"W, wait!" The shadow vanished. What in the hell had that been about? Who could the shadow possibly go talk to? Wasn't that something only the necklace owner and the shadow could do? Is that how Harry had gotten the necklace from the other student? Had the shadow, and he, struck up a conversation one day and decided to plot the other student's death?

He shuddered at the thought. The shadow could be conspiring with someone, anyone, about his death then. That might be how it moved from owner to owner. It would manipulate someone new to kill the previous owner after it got bored with them.

_What am I thinking_, he mentally screamed? There was no way the shadow would do anything like that. If he'd been bored with Harry, he would have let the Dementors kill him or the Gytrash or his uncle. The shadow cared about him more than anyone. He had just promised to kill everyone in the courtroom tomorrow if anyone tried to separate them. Despite these recent lash outs, Harry knew it cared for him. _I need to ask him…_ He was going to go mad himself if he didn't ask about the student the Boggart had shown him.

Shaking, he stood up and walked back to the sink. The pile of dirty dishes remained waiting to be cleaned. Harry thought they might have multiplied while he was talking with the shadow too. He lifted one of the plates and the sponge.

'When you finish… I need to ask you something.'

'Okay.'

He jumped slightly, surprised that the shadow had responded so fast. That was convenient. Distance did not seem to be an issue for mental speech. Now he needed to spend the rest of his time trying to convince himself to ask the shadow about the student.

When he'd finished with the dishes, he left the kitchen without looking back. Part of him wanted to help Sirius with the library, but the bedroom was probably safer. He didn't know what to say to Sirius or anyone else for that matter. He'd lied about the shadow, and in the process had made Ron sound crazy. His godfather and Lupin were probably trying to find out who the dead student was before approaching him. That was good because he wanted to know too. Maybe after hearing the student's name, he'd be able to remember what had happened.

He went straight for the steps. There were only small dust clouds erupting from the carpet now. Someone must have attempted to clean it the night before or all the foot traffic had been sending the dust to settle in new locations.

_He cares about me a lot_, he thought as he went up the stairs. He spotted the decimated spot that had once been the portrait of Sirius's mother. After the shadow had found out his hatred for the portrait, he had taken no time in removing it from Harry's life. The power his necklace held was incredible. Dangerous, but comforting all the same. If the shadow tried to kill a room full of trained ministry officials, Harry believed he would be victorious. What kind of person did that make him if he didn't try and stop the shadow though? _They aren't going to play fair_. The shadow was the only way he'd have a fighting chance.

**(X)**

"Has my mum come back yet," Ron asked, walking into the living room. He collapsed into an overstuffed chair as Hermione came in. "I don't think she's ever stayed out this long buying groceries."

Harry looked to the redhead, surprised that Ron was trying to be civil. He'd expected him to hold a grudge about the shadow for the rest of the day, maybe the rest of the week. Not that Ron knew for sure he was lying. He'd gotten quite good at it.

"I'm sure she's fine," Hermione said. She sat down on the other side of the couch Harry had occupied about half an hour ago and had yet since moved. He was exhausted by this point. The shadow hadn't returned and every second he was gone gave Harry another chance to question everything. He'd tried to push his dark thoughts away, tell himself that everything was going to be fine, but it hadn't helped. He didn't know where the shadow had run off too or who he was talking with. Harry told himself that the shadow was on his side, but how did he know? The only thing he was sure of, the very thought of pushing the shadow away caused him internal pain and made his anxiety tenfold.

_I should be wearing a sign that says I gave up my independence for a magical object._

"You don't think Sirius locked her in the basement, do you?"

"Ron," Hermione chided, glaring at him.

Harry looked at his two friends. He knew Ron was joking from his tone. Hermione was trying to keep the peace, thinking his friend was pushing it. A sudden urge to tell them everything washed over him. He had endured everything for the last four years, only because of these two people. Without them, he wouldn't be sitting on this couch. Dumbledore had told him not to tell anyone about the necklace, but Hermione had already seen it.

But was it right for him to drag them into this mess? There was no way Ron and Hermione were involved with the dead student or the necklace. The fact that they were talking to him was proof enough that they knew nothing about it. If they suspected him even a little of killing someone, they wouldn't be sitting in the same living room with him trying to be his friend.

"I was just kidding, sheesh," Ron muttered.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, both his friends looking at him. "I've just been so angry about everything." As the words left his mouth, he realized how true that was. In less than three months, Voldemort had risen, Cedric had died before him. He'd been isolated from the Wizarding world; he'd gotten attacked by Dementors and Gytrash. No one had come to check on him. He'd been ready to give up hope on ever seeing anyone again. And just when he'd thought everyone had turned their back on him for good, the necklace had arrived. Sitting next to his friends now, his mind too tired to be angry, he knew he'd been an idiot. These two people were his best friends and always would be.

"It's okay," Hermione said. She gave Ron a look that dared him to say otherwise.

"No, it's not," Harry said. "It really isn't. All I've done is yell at everyone and blame others for being stuck at the Dursleys, but neither of you had anything to do with that."

Hermione and Ron exchanged looks, smiles forming on their faces.

"That's what I was trying to say," Ron said, moving to the edge of his chair. "We even tried sending you a first aid kit when we heard the Gytrash attacked you!"

"You did?"

"Of course, we did," Hermione said. "We had Fred and George help us. They transfigured one of their joke shop's boxes to look like a box of chocolates. But there was already an anti-mail charm on your house, and then Dumbledore found out…" She shook her head. "We were terrified you weren't going to survive."

"Yeah," Ron said. "We tried to think of some way to break the spell… Okay, Hermione did," Ron said when Hermione gave him a questioning look. "Not even Sirius was sure how to break it."

"Every Anti-mail charm is different," Hermione explained. "Or rather, the one who places the charm is the only one who knows the words to undo it."

"Wonderful," Harry said. So, Dumbledore had basically locked the communication channel to his house, and password protected it for good measure.

"Once we get back to school, I'll look into it," she said. "If nothing else, Professor Flitwick should be able to tell us something."

"Sure, if I'm not expelled," Harry said.

The energy in the room evaporated and both of his friends paled.

"Harry, there's no way—" Hermione started.

"They wouldn't be having this trial if Fudge thought he could lose." He'd been thinking about the trial since the shadow had left in an attempt to occupy his thoughts. Fudge wouldn't risk trying to convict him if he didn't think he'd win. The Minister couldn't afford to lose face where Harry was concerned. That confidence scared him. What would he do if he got expelled? And partly for saving Dudley, of all people. Couldn't he at least get expelled for saving someone worthwhile? Draco, maybe? As much as he pissed Harry off, the Slytherin still had more brains to contribute to society in general than Dudley ever would.

"You had no choice and there are laws in place for that," Hermione said. "You were completely within your right to use magic to defend yourself!"

"Come off it Hermione. With all the lies Fudge is pushing in the paper, do you really think he's going to play fair," Ron asked.

"But it's the law," she said. She didn't sound as sure as before.

"He's the Minister, I really don't think any laws matter, unless it benefits him," Harry said.

A frustrated look crossed Hermione's face. Ron was nodding in agreement. At least someone understood the seriousness of the situation. Harry needed someone to understand that tomorrow morning would probably be his last morning as a free person. He would probably be sentenced to Azkaban so Fudge could silence him. Even if the shadow made good on his promise and slaughtered everyone within the courtroom, Harry would be on the run for the rest of his life. Not that that would last long. If his luck continued the way it'd been so far, he'd probably be dead by the end of the week.

"You can't give up," she whispered.

"I'm not," Harry said, without hesitation. The last thing he wanted to do was give Fudge the satisfaction of him quitting. What Harry wanted to do was prove to Fudge that he was wrong and that even if he abused his powers, he couldn't get Harry expelled. That on some level, there were people who knew the truth and would see reason. He hoped. "I just don't want to get my hopes up."

"Dumbledore will be there with you," Hermione said.

"Yeah, Dumbledore will make sure you don't get expelled," Ron said.

"Maybe." The chances of Dumbledore working with Fudge to get him expelled were high, especially if he had murdered another student. The headmaster might not have proof of his crime, but if he could get Harry kicked out for something else, why not? Harry couldn't fault him for that either, because he'd have done the same thing if he was truly guilty of killing another student. He couldn't explain that to his friends though. This could be the last conversation they ever had.

He closed his eyes, wishing the shadow would come back.

The front door of number twelve opened and slammed shut, footsteps rushing towards them. The three students turned towards the entranceway. Lupin's face appeared in the doorway, pale and panicked looking. His eyes scanned the room, his mouth moving silently, and he gave a small nod.

"Did anyone else go shopping with Molly this morning?" The three of them shook their heads. "Good." Lupin left, heading towards the kitchen. "Sirius!"

"What do you think is wrong," Hermione asked, in a whisper.

"Maybe they found where you-know-who is," Ron said.

Hermione shot Ron a dark look. "Don't you think he'd sound happier about that?"

"Just saying," Ron muttered.

More footsteps. Ginny walked into the living room looking extremely confused.

"What's going on," she asked. She took a seat next to Hermione.

"Dunno," Ron said.

The twins appeared next, both making faces as they walked towards two empty chairs.

"We'll deny everything," Fred said.

"And make sure they know all of you are coconspirators," George added.

"Is this about the extendable ears," Ginny asked. "I didn't think we learned anything useful the last time."

"We didn't," Fred said. "But they don't know what we heard."

"And they asked us to stop, but we didn't," George added.

"Well, worst they can do is yell at us," Fred said confidently.

"What are extendable ears," Harry asked. The twins were about to explain when Charlie entered the living room.

"No one is going to yell at you," Charlie said. "Not today."

"Charlie," Ginny said, jumping to her feet. She ran over to her brother and gave him a tight hug.

"What are you doing here," Fred asked. Any humor in his voice had vanished.

"Let Bill and dad get here," he said.

"Who died," Fred asked. Hermione gasped at that and the other Weasley children all turned their attention to Fred.

Charlie gave Fred a half-smile.

"You did always know how to read the mood."

"Who," Fred asked again.

"We really should wait for Bill and dad…"

"So, someone did die," Ron said in horror.

Someone died…? Harry's eyes widened as he remembered what Lupin had asked them. He did a quick mental count of the entire Weasley family, his stomach sinking. Judging by the look on Hermione's face, she'd figured it out too. _Mrs. Weasley is dead…?_

Ron had lost his mother. That wasn't fair. The rest of his family was or would be wrapped up in the Order soon and would all have large targets on them. Ron couldn't end up an orphan like him. All because he'd been stupid enough to get dragged into that graveyard and helped Voldemort get his powers back.

_Did I get her killed…?_ He began to shake. Would Mrs. Weasley be dead if Voldemort hadn't returned to power? He shut his eyes, trying to push the thought away_. I'm not a killer!_ He mentally shouted, only… he was, wasn't he? The student lying dead on the ground hadn't killed himself. _But I didn't kill Mrs. Weasley!_

"Nn!" Harry's vision blurred, slight pain coursing through his brain. 'What are you doing,' he asked. The sensation of electricity running over his brain had him closing his eyes again. The shadow needed to stop this; he didn't have time to collapse or become the center of attention. Ron needed him.

"What happened!?" George screamed.

"Who did it," Fred demanded. "Was it Percy?"

"Of course not," Mr. Weasley snapped. "Why would you even think that?"

Harry hadn't even noticed his hearing had faded out with his vision. There was no other explanation though because Mr. Weasley and Bill were sitting in the living room and Harry couldn't remember seeing or hearing them enter.

'Mrs. Weasley's dead?' The words sounded surprised.

Somehow Harry found the shadow standing in the back of the room immediately. He wasn't easy to spot, and yet he'd known exactly where to look.

'Yeah… I think so…' He'd blacked out at the wrong moment, but given how everyone was reacting, he was pretty sure she was. Bill and Charlie were both holding onto Ginny, who was trying hard not to cry and failing. Ron was refusing to look at anyone, but Harry could hear him sobbing. The twins both looked pissed, Mr. Weasley tired.

'Are you okay…?' Hesitation.

"Harry. Harry." Harry blinked. Sirius was sitting beside him on the couch where Hermione had been. He looked worried. What was going on? Where had Hermione gone? "Are you okay?"

"I think so…" His brain didn't seem to be connecting with his emotions. He was sad, no sad wasn't quite right. He was beyond sad. The woman who'd been his surrogate mother, who'd taken him in without a second thought. The one person who'd made sure he had a normal, loving place he could always return to even when the rest of the world turned on him? The one who sent them knitted sweaters and chocolate Easter bunnies? Who always made sure they had plenty of food? Mrs. Weasley who checked in on them at the Burrow and helped ease any fears they might have? She was gone? She couldn't just be gone…

Sirius wrapped him into a tight embrace, but he still couldn't get himself to cry. He knew he should be crying, or getting angry, something, anything! Anything to prove that he cared. Why? Why weren't any tears coming?

"It's okay," Sirius said. Harry found himself trying to catch his breath and nodded. Sirius' words had managed to ground him somehow. He buried his face in Sirius's shirt and cried.

**(X)**

Harry was in his bed when his brain started working again. He couldn't recall how he got there, or anything really after he'd turn into a crying heap on Sirius. He'd probably scared his godfather with his sudden outburst. Now that he was aware, he could feel his head hurting, nothing new there. His eyes felt dry too.

He looked to Ron's bed. Empty. Somewhere in the room was a presence.

'You're awake.' The words were gentle and unsure.

'Where is everyone? I don't even remember coming upstairs.' One more chunk of memory, gone. At this rate, he shouldn't even bother going to school. What was the point if his mind just kept blocking everything out? Snape would tell them there was a test the next day and the rest of the class would be a blur. When the day of the test arrived, he would wonder why no one had mentioned it.

'You're in shock,' the shadow said, resting his hand on Harry's own.

Harry turned towards the wall. The shadow was reclining next to him. Without asking permission, he moved as close to the shadow as he could. The shadow's arm came around him as Harry rested his head on his chest. For the first time that day, he felt safe and at peace.

'What time is it…?'

'Does it matter?'

It didn't. As long as it wasn't time for Harry's trial. Still, he couldn't think about Mrs. Weasley, not yet. Not Mrs. Weasley, not the trial, and not the unknown student.

'I deserve to be locked up,' he said. He deserved every bad thing that life had to throw at him.

A small spark of anger erupted within him. Another electrical onslaught on his brain followed. This time it was only a minor tingling sensation rather than the usual pain.

The anger turned to shock.

'You did not kill Mrs. Weasley.'

'If I hadn't gone into that graveyard…'

'No one knew that cup was a port key,' he said, his words somewhat rushed. 'You can't take credit for every death you come across. You'll go mad.'

Harry lifted his head and glared at the shadow.

'You have no idea what I'm capable of,' he snapped.

'I know exactly what you're capable of,' the shadow said calmly. 'More than anyone.' He ran his hand through Harry's hair.

Harry tried to move away, but both his mind and body told him no. He didn't deserve this comfort, and yet he desperately wanted it.

'Do you even remember your previous owner,' Harry demanded. If he couldn't get himself to pull away, he'd make the shadow leave him. It would be for the best. Maybe the shadow would kill him now and save Fudge the trouble.

Curiosity.

'That's a rather short list, but which one?'

'The last student,' Harry said. 'The one I took you from.'

The shadow didn't seem to understand. Harry's mind flooded with confusion. Just when he thought he'd scream, it stopped. A stronger electric current rushed through his mind.

The confusion gave way to amusement, the shadow chuckling.

'Someone is very confused,' he said laughing.

Harry's face burned.

'I, I am not! I took the necklace from him!'

'Only, because I let you.'

The words hit Harry hard. So, he'd been right. The shadow turned on its owners when it grew bored. The emotional bond the owner of the necklace and the shadow shared was too strong to leave it be. The shadow had to make sure the previous owner died before moving onto the next one.

'… How long until you're bored with me then?'

The laughter stopped, confusion and anger once again forming in Harry's mind.

'I'm not,' it said, his words full of confidence.

'Are you sure? There's no way I could have killed that student if you'd been protecting him. Did you promise him you wouldn't get bored? That you'd keep him alive—"

The anger became full-blown rage and Harry was sure his mind was going to burn until nothing was left.

'I gave you the necklace of my own free will,' he growled.

"And he died because of it!"

Harry and the shadow stared at each other, both of them surprised.

"S, sorry. I didn't mean to say that out loud, but… he's dead, because of me… even if I didn't kill Mrs. Weasley, that student died, because I wanted a necklace. ….whatever sentence Fudge gives me, I deserve…"

The shadow sighed. 'I guess I have no choice, but to show you. This is going to hurt…' He brought his hand up and placed it against Harry's forehead. Pain and heat rushed through his entire body and he was sure this was the end of him. He'd pushed the shadow too far this time. 'Open your eyes.'

Harry hadn't realized he'd closed them. He was no longer lying in his bed, but standing, the shadow beside him. In front of them was another Harry, a younger Harry he realized. The nameless teen was in front of him, unmoving, his uniform torn around the bottom. The other Harry was holding the necklace up, a smirk on his face, blood still on his hand.

'This is….' He took a step back. The shadow grabbed his upper arm.

'Look. He's breathing. The only reason the Boggart showed him not breathing was to induce fear in you.'

Breathing? Was that true? The shadow released him, and he moved towards the unknown teen. He was even more handsome than Harry remembered.

_This is not the time_, Harry scolded himself. He forced himself to look at the teen's chest. It was moving.

The scene shattered into hundreds of pieces. Harry waited for the pain he somehow knew would follow, but none came. Instead he found the shadow was gasping beside him on the bed, his hand holding his head.

'W—' Harry winced, the words and energy he'd tried to use not only hitting the same wall he'd encountered that morning but ricocheting back to him.

"I had to close it," the shadow said, between breaths. "Don't try…" He closed his eyes and Harry slapped his hand over the shadow's mouth. He opened his eyes, looking at Harry questioningly.

"The last time you talked out loud, you vanished," he said. "So, don't…" The shadow nodded, his eyes sliding shut again. Harry watched, looking for any sign that the shadow would leave him alone again. It didn't seem like he was going to fade away this time. He watched a short while longer before lowering his head back onto the shadow's chest. To his surprise he could not only hear his breath, but the shadow's heart as well.

** TBC **


	9. The Ministry of Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go again. I’m on chapter 9. The original story was at chapter 3 at this point and only about 15k long. What have I gotten myself into?  
To the person (guest) who took the time to write a nice and long review, thank you so much. You were the first to review the previous chapter. After all the rewrites I did for it, I wanted to scream, but your review made it feel completely worth it. Thank you so much.  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, slash, yaoi, gay, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle(jr), Sirius/Remus, etc. etc. You know the drill.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Harry stared down at the kitchen table where a plate full of scrambled eggs and toast greeted him. The bright yellow food contradicted the feelings of everyone inside number twelve. The loud and cheerful birds chirping in the backyard were no exception. There was just something wrong about it being so nice out when their lives were in such a depressing state. It should be cold, rainy, and they should be eating undercooked porridge with too much water in it.

None of them were ready to face the day.

Ginny kept poking at her food with her fork. Harry had only seen her take one or two bites. Ron's plate was full, the redhead in question staring at the kitchen wall with no signs of life in his eyes. Fred and George had shown up earlier, but they'd taken their food and left without uttering a word. Bill, Charlie, and Mr. Weasley had yet to show up. Harry could only guess what they were doing. Probably arranging things for Mrs. Weasley's….

He poked the scrambled eggs with his fork, trying yet again to take a bite. He lifted the food to his mouth. His arm froze halfway up and refused to budge, the smell from the eggs still wafting towards him.

CLANK.

Harry dropped his fork onto the plate, the sound echoing through the room. Everyone present jumped. He bolted from his chair and ran into the nearest bathroom. He fell onto his knees next to the toilet just in time to heave what stomach juices he had into the toilet. He waited to see if his nausea would pass before leaning back against the wall. The trial was soon, and he needed to get ready. Sweat poured down his neck, his body hot as he caught his breath.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door. Lupin stepped in, took one quick look at the toilet, and focused his attention instead on Harry.

"Are you okay?"

Harry gave a small nod. He noted Lupin was holding a cup of coffee that wouldn't stop shaking. His ex-professor looked like he'd been beaten with a rather thick board. The haggard look and lack of energy reminded Harry of what Lupin had been like before he started taking the new potion. He didn't know if there was a full moon coming or if this was just a result of Mrs. Weasley's death. Either way, he hoped Lupin would get better soon.

"We need to leave soon… we can… pick something up after your trial… when your nerves have settled."

Lupin walked away before the words even began to make sense in Harry's head. Mr. Weasley was supposed to be taking Harry, but given the circumstances, it seemed the Order had appointed Lupin to the task. No wonder Lupin was a mess. A known werewolf was going into the Ministry of Magic to accompany a lawbreaking and supposedly lying, under-aged wizard, who Fudge would no doubt attempt to tack terrorism charges onto during the trial. They'd be lucky if either of them made it out.

Being late wouldn't help though. Fudge would probably accuse him of trying to run and would order the entire Auror department to track him down because he was such a dangerous threat to the Wizarding community. He rolled his eyes and flushed the toilet, wondering how his life could have spiraled so out of control so fast. Just a few months ago he'd been worried about surviving the last task for the Triwizard tournament and wondering how bad the summer would be at the Dursley's.

He stepped out of the bathroom and started for his room.

_I don't know what's better. To just take my punishment and hope it's light or run and make everything worse._

"H, Harry?"

It took Harry a second to climb out of his thoughts. Ginny was walking towards him, a pained expression on her face. He could tell she'd been crying recently, probably all night, because it also looked like she hadn't slept.

"Yeah?"

"You have to come back… okay?"

"That's the plan," Harry said, trying to offer her a smile.

Ginny managed a choked laugh and hugged him.

"Promise me you'll come back."

Harry blinked, surprised at the sudden assault. He awkwardly brought his arms up and returned the hug.

"Even if I did, it might end up being a lie," he said. He kept looking around the hall, terrified Ron might see them.

"So, lie to me," she said, fresh tears forming in her eyes.

"Eh… okay," he said. He wished one of her brothers would show up, or Hermione, or someone. He knew Ginny had had a huge crush on him back in his second year, but he'd thought she'd grown out of it. _She's just worried she'll lose someone else_, he told himself. "All right, fine. I promise I'll come back."

"Good." She smiled at him and hesitantly took a step back. "We'll all be waiting for you."

"Yeah…" He watched her go back into the kitchen making sure she stayed in there before starting up the steps. Is that how everyone who saw him off was going to act? If everyone in the house was going to be giving him their final goodbyes, he didn't want to see another person. He was so glad everyone had such hope for the trial. _You don't even have much hope_, he reminded himself. They would all be fooling themselves if any of them believed this would be easy.

He stepped into the room and locked the door once he entered. He refused to give anyone else a chance to sneak up on him and offer him their 'well wishes.'

_I don't even know what to wear._

'Clothes, preferably ones that don't call attention to you. There are already enough people I have to maim.'

The shadow appeared stretched out on Harry's bed, his eyes on the Gryffindor.

'What are you talking about,' Harry asked. He was glad the shadow had done whatever he did to keep them for being in pain when they talked, but again, without being able to feel the emotions, he felt like he was missing an enormous part of the conversation. He opened his trunk and started rummaging through it. He had a pair of dress robes, but he wasn't about to wear them for Fudge.

The shadow moved to the foot of the bed, so he was closer to Harry.

'Exactly what it sounded like,' he said.

'I appreciate the offer, but you can't kill everyone at the trial today,' Harry sighed.

'I will do what I need to in order to keep you safe,' he said. 'But I wasn't referring to them.'

'No one else is threatening me,' Harry said. He pulled his pajamas off and began pulling on a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt. It wouldn't matter if he walked in wearing a designer robe. Fudge had deemed him guilty the second he told the world that Voldemort was back.

'No,' the shadow agreed. 'But I will not tolerate any threats to myself either.'

'Who threatened you?' The shadow's eyes danced with amusement. 'Fine, don't tell me.' He turned to leave the room when a hand wrapped around his wrist. He turned back to the shadow. 'What?'

'I'm going to keep the bond as it is for now, so I don't crash in the middle of the trial.' He climbed off the bed until he was inches from Harry.

'O, okay.' Harry could feel his heart beating faster, his face burning. Was he suddenly scared of the shadow or nervous about the trial? _I did just throw up thanks to my nerves_. Besides, Harry had no reason to fear the shadow. It had hurt him, yes, but not intentionally, and he'd been feeling that same pain.

The shadow lifted his hands and dropped them onto each of Harry's shoulders.

'It would be inconvenient if anyone spotted me before the trial begins, so I'm going to go back into the necklace until the doors are shut.'

'It's not broken,' Harry asked quickly. He'd yet to feel a single bit of warmth from the necklace since the shadow had collapsed in the hallway.

'No,' he snickered. 'I just prefer being out and near you.'

'Oh…' Harry's entire about erupted into flames and he adverted his eyes.

The shadow laughed this time. The way he had yesterday that had caused Harry's heart to flutter. He grabbed the chain around Harry's neck and pulled the pendant up from beneath his shirt. He wrapped his fingers around the pendant, his form turning into mist. The pendant sucked the mist in and all traces of the shadows vanished.

Harry lifted the pendant. The warmth had returned to it. For some reason that put him more at ease than the shadow's words. He kissed the pendant and dropped it back under his shirt, reveling at the warmth against his chest. He left the room, feeling more confident than he had in days. He still didn't think he'd win his trial, but the warmth radiating from the pendant calmed him. One way or another, he'd survive, even if he ended up in Azkaban.

His confidence faltered as he made it closer to the stairs. It wasn't that the trial felt more real now or anything like that, but he still didn't want to talk to any of his friends, especially if they were going to act anything like Ginny had when she'd stopped him by the staircase. When he made it to the steps, he could only make out two people. Sirius and Lupin.

"Don't let anything happen to him or you," Sirius said. His hands were resting on Lupin's hips, and Harry found himself looking away. How could people show their feelings like this when anyone could be watching?

"I won't.”

"Dumbledore will be there, not that I trust him, but every law in place says he's innocent."

"Right.”

Sirius sighed. "And be careful on your way there and back. We still don't know who attacked Molly."

"I know," Lupin said, smiling slightly before he jumped. "Harry!"

Harry gave them a minute to separate or finish whatever it was they were doing before looking at them again. He had a feeling they'd started kissing after Lupin's last "I know".

"Why are you so nervous around him? He already said he was fine with us dating.”

"That's not the problem here," Lupin said. His face had turned a dark shade of red.

Harry walked down the last few steps.

"Listen.” Sirius grabbed Harry's upper arms. Everyone seemed bent on grabbing him today. "They're going to try to do whatever they can to get you to lose today. Fudge will probably lie, he might even bring in false evidence, whatever it takes to win."

"Sirius!"

"I know," Harry said. It sucked, but not liking something didn't make it go away. He knew full well that Fudge wasn't going to play fair.

"You said that shadow protects you," Sirius said lowering his voice. "Make sure it's with you in that courtroom."

"He—it is," he said.

"Good. Listen to Dumbledore and—"

"If I lose, grab Lupin and run," Harry said, managing to grin.

"Exactly." He gave Harry a hard pat on the back. "We'll celebrate your win as soon as you get back."

Harry laughed. He didn't know if his godfather believed he would win, or if he just considered him making it back to number twelve a win, but it was nice all the same. At least Sirius didn't make this sound like a final parting. "Okay."

"Remus will take good care of you."

"I know. He's the only professor I ever completely trusted.”

"T, thank you." Lupin took a breath, let it out. He gave Sirius a quick kiss on the cheek. "We should get going…"

"Yeah," Harry said. They stepped out of number twelve together. The day was already warm, but Harry could smell water in the air.

"Going to rain," Lupin muttered.

"Yeah."

They stared at one another. Neither seemed to know what to say or do next. Harry had no idea where the Ministry of Magic was or even what it looked like, which meant waiting for Lupin to snap out of his daze.

"Okay…" Lupin looked at Harry. He still looked like he might collapse at any minute.

"Thanks for taking me. I know this can't be easy."

"Arthur offered to still take you, but…"

"Yeah."

Silence fell around them again and while Harry didn't want to go to the hearing, he would much rather stay put in number twelve the rest of his life until they threw him in front of Voldemort as... What? The only reason Voldemort had feared him was thanks to his mother's love shielding him. Now that Voldemort knew why his spell had failed and had taken the proper precautions to fix that unexpected setback, what good was he in helping rid the world of him? Remaining hidden until such a time that they could defeat Voldemort was not exactly convenient. Sirius was already showing signs of going stir crazy and he'd only been in the house for a week.

He glanced at Lupin, who looked extremely confused as to what their next move should be.

"Er...did you sleep at all last night?”

"Yeah…. I dazed out again, didn't I?" He shook his head. "Sorry Harry. There's so much going on right now." The realization of where they stood seemed to have sunk in. "Shite. We shouldn't just be standing out here in the open. Do you mind if we Appearate?"

"No?" He'd never Appearated before, but he wasn't about to make things more difficult for Lupin. He'd gone through enough already. "I've never done it before though."

"That's all right. You'd just be traveling by side along." Harry nodded. "Grab my hand then. This will probably be a little uncomfortable."

"Okay." He took Lupin's hand, and he was gone. Harry felt as if his physical body no longer existed. He'd become a conscious liquid that somehow retained all his senses. Harry could see everything around him at once and yet couldn't make out anything beyond the light streaks of color surrounding him. Sounds were nothing more than snippets, not a single one comprehensible. Smells rushed past him, none remaining long enough to be identifiable but colliding and mixing so each scent overrode the next and he couldn't tell where one started or ended. A nauseating smell that refused to go away and added with the view, was sure to make him puke. Only he couldn't, because he was liquid, and despite being a liquid, he could feel every bump, jerk, sudden stop, twist, and overall chaos of their travel.

Harry was sure he'd existed in this dimension forever. His physical form had been nothing but a dream. He'd always been hurdling towards something, a never-ending and pointless existence.

Pain broke Harry out of his trance. The light streaks stopped rushing past him and became identifiable shapes. Sounds, scents, touch, all of them rushed him all at once. They were now in a city, Muggles rushing past them as if they didn't exist. He was on his knees on a sidewalk. He held his palms up; scrapes and blood covering them. Had he always had hands?

He lurched forward, whatever his stomach had been holding onto splashing out in front of him.

"Harry!?" Lupin knelt beside him and began checking him over. "I didn't think you'd be that sensitive."

"With as many times that I've thrown up lately, I don't know why I bother to eat," he said, dropping onto his bottom and giving Lupin a weak smile. "Complete waste of food."

"Merlin, you are James' son," he said, dropping his head and shaking it. A small laugh erupted from him, and he smiled at Harry.

Harry grinned, glad to see that some of Lupin's energy had returned. At the very least, his eyes no longer looked dead.

"We need to go inside before we look any more suspicious than we already do. Do you need help up?"

"I'm fine," Harry said. He managed to stand up, stagger forward, catch himself, and almost fall back down. Lupin grabbed his hand before he smashed onto the concrete again.

" I don't think you are," Lupin said, amused.

"Maybe not. The world is spinning pretty fast."

"You'll definitely need some practice with Appearating before your test."

"Probably a good idea." They waited a minute, both standing in place until Harry could finally see straight. "Okay, I'm good." The idea that they would test him on this form of travel scared him, but the fear of the trial outweighed that.

"You're sure this time," Lupin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Lupin released Harry's hand. The Gryffindor took a step forward, tried another, and didn't fall. "See?" For some reason, Harry felt incredibly proud of himself. He had no idea why, nor did he understand why he was laughing. Nothing about the last few months had been funny. Mrs. Weasley had just died yesterday. And yet, here he was, unable to stop.

"I think some of your brain got shaken a little too hard."

"I'm sorry, I know this is the last thing I should be doing," he said, trying to get himself under control.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." He choked back a laugh and held the rest back. Even with his laughter stopped, it had restored his energy. Maybe he could win the trial. Perhaps his life wasn't a series of one tragic event after another.

"With everything you've gone through, I'm just glad you can still laugh at all." He gave Harry's hair a quick tousle. "Let's get this over with. My wonderfully rich lover gave me some money. Once we're done here, he's adamant we bring home some burgers."

"That might be good if I win." Sirius and Lupin truly believed he was going to win. He hoped he didn't disappoint them.

"I promise, Harry. This will be rough, but every law is on your side."

'He's right,' the shadow echoed. 'If Fudge actually manages a guilty charge, you can demand a retrial based on the abuse of power and the intentional refusal of acknowledgement of laws.'

'So why were you threatening to kill people if I can get a retrial,' Harry demanded. Why hadn't anyone mentioned that? He wouldn't have worried nearly as much as he had had he known this wasn't his only chance.

'Because I don't know how far Fudge will go.'

"We need to go in there." Lupin motioned to an old red phone booth to their right. Like number twelve, it looked old, broken, and ready to implode into pieces of dust at the slightest shove.

"I... don't think it works...and it doesn't look safe...at all."

"It's sturdy. Arthur said they replaced it last summer. It just looks old."

"Right…." Harry had no reason not to believe Lupin, and he'd seen stranger things before. He just hoped no one could see them inside, because it would be a tight squeeze. They walked into the phone booth, and Lupin shut the door. To Harry's disappointment, the inside wasn't charmed to be larger than it appeared or to grow to accommodate when more than one person entered.

Lupin took in a shaky breath and picked up the phone receiver. He punched in some numbers, Harry couldn't tell which ones, because his current view was that of the road from the side window. It was so cramped he couldn't turn his head all the way.

"Good morning and welcome to the visitors' entrance for the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business." The voice was even, not a single rise or drop in her tone. Harry wondered if the voice was a recording.

"My name is Remus John Lupin. I'm accompanying Harry James Potter to a hearing today for underage magic."

There was a lengthy pause.

"...Understood." The voice sounded somewhat strained now. "Your badges are printing, please wear them where all can see," she said, her voice breaking every few words.

Two silver badges dropped into the change holder. One had the words "Harry Potter, Disciplinary Hearing" engraved on it. The other badge read "Remus Lupin, Guardian of Harry Potter" with a thumb-sized yellow dot to the right of Lupin's name.

"Is that….?" Harry couldn't finish the question.

Lupin grimaced as he put the badge on.

"A moon? Yes," he said, his voice stiff. "Everyone in the Ministry has to be aware of the danger walking around."

The phone booth gave a jerk and began sinking into the ground.

"It's not even nighttime, or a full moon," Harry growled. He'd known it would be hard on Lupin entering the Ministry, but this went too far.

"It's fine. It's not like everyone doesn't know already. The Daily Prophet made sure of that."

"That's beside the point!”. He'd never hated the Ministry of Magic as much as he did right now. Despite all the lies, the name-calling, that they purposely put the entire Magical community as a whole in danger, this made his blood boil. This wasn't right. It was like they were not only making fun of Lupin's condition; they were rubbing it in his face. Acting like he'd contracted the werewolf disease on purpose. He'd been attacked as a kid! How was that his fault!?

Light poured in at their feet.

"Harry, your concern for me is much appreciated, but let's wait until you've won your hearing and we've left to plan a revolution," Lupin said the words so seriously, Harry wasn't sure if he was joking or not. The phone booth hit the ground with an earthquake shake and the door slid open. Lupin winked at him and Harry stepped out. He didn't know how Lupin could keep his good mood after this.

"I couldn't stay calm if it was me," he whispered.

"I've been dealing with this prejudice all my life. It would be nice if everyone would realize not all of us are bloodthirsty killers. But the people I care about know I'm not a monster. Most of the people who act like I am some uncontrollable beast I'll never see again. And, as I stated before. The patients I developed over the years, because of certain others, makes ignorance like this tolerable." An actual smile appeared on Lupin's face. "Besides, I am dangerous." He strode towards a desk, the magnitude of the place sinking in now.

The Ministry of Magic was huge! There had to be hundreds of wizards and witches moving about. Giant fireplaces lined both sides of the giant hall. People appeared from inside the fireplaces on the left and joined the gigantic crowd Lupin and Harry had merged with. Most of the crowd seemed to be going forward, but some were going to the fireplaces on the right. They stepped inside, green flames engulfing them, and then they would disappear. And they did this not just one at a time but in groups.

The ceiling set before them was a brilliant night sky with shooting stars and constellations. The walls were dark blue with golden organic moving lines creating unique designs. The designs would stop and hold their position just long enough for a handful of people to notice it and then they were moving again to create new ones. All the wood, from the floor to the trimmings to the front desk, was a dark mahogany.

As they continued down the hall, the biggest fountain Harry had ever seen compromised of multiple statues stood in the middle. A strong-looking wizard, a beautiful witch, and then what Harry assumed were those creatures considered below them. A goblin, a centaur, and a house-elf, all of them looking up at the witch and wizard as if the two were of divine importance. Harry wasn't one to dwell too much on these things, but after seeing Lupin's badge, he wanted to destroy the fountain. Let the supposed lesser ones sit on top of the witch and wizard.

Stacked offices with glass walls replaced the fireplaces. Harry could see witches and wizards inside the offices, most of them at their desks, or moving around grabbing papers. In front of them down the center of the hall was a front desk, filled with seven people. Most of them were checking badges or giving visitors directions, two of them were talking on the phone.

Harry couldn't believe the lack of security. Anyone could have gotten to this point, attacking the crowd as they went. And seven people at the front desk? He hoped there were spells in place to keep these people safe. Voldemort could wipe this place out with ease.

They stopped at the front desk, Harry trying hard not to look as angry as he felt, as if the witch in front of them had made the moon on Lupin's badge a requirement. He knew lashing out at the woman wouldn't do anyone any good, so he settled for glaring.

"May I help you," a witch with brown curly hair asked. She looked up from a document she'd been reading, her face paling when her eyes fell onto Lupin's badge.

"We're here for a disciplinary hearing for Harry Potter," Lupin explained. "Where do we go from here?"

"Th, that way," she said, pointing to a side hall. Sitting next to the entrance was a lone wizard at a small desk. He was reading a book.

"And from there?"

"So… um, his…" She shuffled through some more of the papers on the desk. She whispered something to the wizard next to her and he handed her a single piece of parchment. "Right, Mister Potter's hearing is starting soon. You'll take the elevator to the very bottom floor, to the Department of Mysteries. The hearing is in courtroom ten."

"Thank you," Lupin said. He ushered Harry towards the desk with the one wizard station.

"Wands," the man said in a bored tone. He set his book down.

Harry looked at Lupin, who nodded. He removed his wand and handed it to the wizard. The man dropped the wand onto a scale. A second later a piece of paper printed out at the bottom of the scale with all Harry's wand's details.

"This right," the man asked.

Harry looked it over.

"Yes."

"Okay and yours." He handed Harry his wand back before he took Lupins. Another slip of paper printed out that he gave to Lupin.

"Correct?"

"It is," Lupin said.

"Okay." He handed Lupin his wand back. "There's an elevator at the end of the hall here."

"Thank you," Lupin said. He pulled Harry with him down the hall. "That went better than I expected," he said.

"I guess," Harry said. No one had jumped out and arrested them the second they walked into the ministry. No one had cursed them or threatened them, and besides the witch at the front desk, no one seemed to even notice the moon on Lupin's badge.

"Good, both of you are here."

"Dumbledore," Lupin said.

"Professor Dumbledore?" He'd know Dumbledore was coming to his hearing, but he hadn't expected him to meet them in the hall.

The headmaster looked Harry over. "I see you didn't find this occasion worthy of dressing up for." He looked amused.

"O, oh Merlin," Lupin breathed. "I didn't even realize, I'm so sorry Dumbledore."

"Nonsense. I didn't see any reason to myself. Why I slept in these robes last night," he said smiling. Harry didn't think the headmaster was serious. His robes looked freshly pressed and clean. "Let us be off so we may be done with this nonsense." He started down the hall, Lupin and Harry following him. They piled into the elevator at the end of the hall. Thankfully, it was larger than the phone booth Lupin and he had shared.

"Do you know why they moved Harry's hearing into the Department of Mysterious," Lupin asked.

Dumbledore frowned and gave a small nod. "I'm afraid between Harry and I, we have driven Fudge into a corner."

"He wouldn't be in a corner if he hadn't been lying this whole time," Harry spat.

A smile returned to Dumbledore's face.

"How right you are, Harry. Especially with such an important matter. Had the truth been given to the community, why, I doubt there would be a trial at all. But, since Fudge has continued to lie, here we are, soon to be entering a courtroom reserved for the trials of some of the most heinous criminals of all time." The doors to the elevator closed and began its slow and shaky descent. "But worry not. The law is on our side and I believe this room may be to our advantage."

"How," Harry asked.

"Because if I am right, you have something hidden on you, and the courtroom down here cannot go up in flames."

'That's what he thinks.'

'I know I haven't made Dumbledore out to be a good person lately, but he actually is. He's—'

'Famous, strong, defeated Grindelwald. Yeah, I've read the chocolate frog card,' the shadow snorted. 'Amusing no one asked how Grindelwald got to power in the first place.'

'What?' Harry only knew Grindelwald's name, and that was from Dumbledore's chocolate frog.

'After the trial.'

"Do I even want to know what the two of you are speaking about," Dumbledore asked.

"We aren't…." Lupin looked at Harry questioningly.

"He's convinced he can burn the room down."

The elevator gave a tremendous shudder before the doors opened. A woman's voice from somewhere announced they had arrived at the Department of Mysteries.

'Why does every elevator at the Ministry act like they're ready to fall apart?'

'Because they are,' the shadow said. 'The Ministry is too cheap to keep up on renovations.'

"For everyone's sake, let us hope he doesn't try." Together they stepped off the elevator. "10 should be down this way."

"Wait, you can…?" Lupin started. "Never mind." He placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "I can't go in, but I'll be right outside the door."

"Wh, What!?"

That was not okay. Lupin was his designated guardian; he wasn't of age.

"Just answer truthfully and try not to lose your temper."

"I ask that you only mention certain subjects if necessary," Dumbledore said. "Shall we go in, Harry?"

"O, okay." So, he wasn't being thrown in by himself. He'd have Dumbledore and the necklace. He'd be okay. He would get through this and go with Lupin to get burgers and they'd have a great lunch while celebrating Harry's win. Afterward, they would clean more of number twelve, because the headquarters was in desperate need of any cleaning it could get, and it would take their minds off Mrs. Weasley's death.

Dumbledore shoved both doors open and stepped into the room, his robes sweeping around him as his tall figure strode in, his head held high. The grand movement made him seem far more formidable than Harry had ever seen the headmaster. It seemed the group before them felt the same because the talking died down immediately, a few shrinking back as Dumbledore came closer.

He was grateful Dumbledore was on his side.

'Show off,' the shadow muttered.

"Dumbledore," Fudge blurted out.

"Yes, I do believe that's who I am. If not, I have been ill-informed my entire life." He smiled at the group, a few of them laughing at his words.

Harry stopped beside the headmaster, trying to push back his dread. He'd seen this courtroom before when Dumbledore had shown him some of his memories. The room hadn't changed at all. It was cold, the walls and floor made of stone. The group in front of them were sitting in the same wooden box and to Harry's growing unease. The chair with the chains stood in the center of the room. They seemed to sense that someone was near and gave small jerks towards Harry like an animal threatening someone.

"I see you, um, both of you," Fudge seemed to have lost the ability to speak comprehensively. That was fine with Harry. "You are late," Fudge said, his voice growing cold.

"I do apologize for that. Alas, we are all present now. Shall we begin?"

**(TBC)**


	10. The Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double digits. I would like to full-heartedly apologize now for the disaster you’re about to read. It’s not necessarily bad… Most of it ended up being dialog and I took some liberties I probably shouldn’t have, because I thought it was amusing and I allowed for too much self-indulgence. I did take out the worst of it. My grammar check had a nervous breakdown seeing all the passive verbs, but it’s all dialog so…it does progress the story?  
Warnings: This is shounen-ai, gay, slash, yaoi, whatever. Tom Riddle/Harry Potter. Sirius/Remus.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

'Calm down," the shadow warned him. 'Let Dumbledore handle this.'

'He had Sirius locked in number twelve's basement so he couldn't save me,' Harry snapped. If he let Dumbledore handle everything, he wouldn't just be going to Azkaban, he'd be getting a Dementor's kiss.

'Trust me,' he said. Harry felt the pendant warming up. 'Should he fail, I will step in.'

Trusting the shadow was far easier than trusting Dumbledore. And despite not wanting to admit it, the shadow was right. Dumbledore would know exactly how to get this entire thing cleared up. The question was, would he? The shadow had shown Harry that he had not killed anyone for the necklace, but he'd still attacked them. Hurting someone was a completely different offense than killing someone and he hoped Dumbledore saw it that way too.

'Fine, but if I end up in Azkaban you're coming with me.'

The shadow gave a small laugh.

Harry felt his blood rush to his face. It seemed even if he was at trial trying to save himself from expulsion from Hogwarts and perhaps the Wizarding community as a whole, the shadow still took priority where his emotions were concerned.

"We sent word that the location and time of this hearing were changed," Fudge said.

Fudge must have lost his mind. The look of triumph in his eyes over his declaration of Harry being late made him uneasy. It was what, two minutes beyond the appointed time? A time Fudge had changed at the last minute, probably with the intention of making him late. There was no way two minutes meant automatic condemnation. With the glee the Minister must be feeling, Harry gave him kudos for not having sent the Aurors out to arrest him already. The other witches and wizards in the raised stands had probably talked Fudge out of it. At least they seemed to have some common sense. Whether that lasted until the end of the trial was another matter.

"We must have missed it," Dumbledore said, pleasantly. "I for one arrived three hours prior and was waiting in the hearing room as specified in the original letter. The one that has always been used for minor offenses?"

"This is hardly a minor defense," Fudge said in a tone befitting a snob assuring you, you didn't belong in the country club. Especially not _this_ country club.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrow.

"Use of underage magic for the reason of self-defense is no longer considered a minor offense? When was that changed?" He was no longer looking at Fudge, but the other witches and wizards sitting around him. "I've been gone but a few weeks, if such a law has been changed, the community as a whole should have been made aware." A few witches in the very back of the stands chuckled.

"Self-defense," Fudge snarled. "There was no self-defense! Harry Potter blatantly ignored the laws set forth by our community to ensure our existence from Muggles stays hidden!"

'Yeah, I had nothing else better to do, so I decided to use magic in front of Muggles.' His words earned him another laugh from the shadow.

The group behind Fudge began whispering amongst themselves again. Harry, in his attempt to distract himself, noticed Percy was sitting one chair away from Fudge, writing in extreme haste on a small desk that protruded over his seat. Even when he looked up from the parchment, his eyes showed no recognition of Harry. Harry wished he'd gotten to ask Ron more about what Percy and the rest of the Weasley family had fought about. What was he doing here, anyway? Did he come to work knowing his mother was dead or had no one told him?

"This trial will begin _now_," Fudge said coldly. "Weasley, make sure you're dictating!"

"I have been," Percy blurted.

"The date of this hearing is the twelfth of August. Reason for disciplinary hearing, misuse of magic under the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, and the International Statute of Secrecy. The accused is Harry James Potter. Current residence, number four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey."

'Thought that was supposed to be kept secret,' Harry said. Even if Privet Drive was a safe location, walking out the door could now be a considerable risk thanks to Fudge. He didn't know most of the people in the stands, how could he trust them not to reveal the Dursleys' location? What would happen when he returned next summer? If the Dursleys found out their address had been announced at a hearing at the Ministry of Magic in front of what looked to be a group of thirty or so, they'd kill him before anyone else using the knowledge could.

'Well, we'll at least have a list of people to start with if someone does manage to break into the Muggle house,' the shadow said.

'Because that makes me feel better,' he said bitterly.

'No one is going to touch you with me around.'

Harry's cheeks began to burn.

"Present interrogators include Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister of Magic; Amelia Susan Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement; Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister. Court Scribe, Percy Ignatius Weasley."

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore as a witness for the defense," Dumbledore said when Fudge didn't acknowledge the headmaster.

"We know who you are," Fudge said irritably.

"Merely for the record," Dumbledore answered.

'This doesn't sound like a formal hearing,' Harry said hoping to divert his thoughts.

'Fudge is too flustered,' the shadow said. 'He's only supposed to be speaking the facts, but he's allowing his personal feelings to seep into the case. The others have already noticed.'

Harry gave a quick look at the group sitting in the stacked rows. All but three were looking at Fudge as though he'd lost his mind. At the rate Fudge was digging himself into the ground, Harry didn't believe there was much to worry about anymore. He was going to win the trial because Fudge was going to be declared clinically insane and unable to rule a court hearing.

"Sit down," Fudge said, glaring at Harry.

Harry glanced at the chair with the living chains, his stomach dropping. Dumbledore gave the slightest hint of a nod. Mentally sighing, he walked over to the chair and sat in it. The chains gave one rattle before they rose into the air and then slammed into the floor. The ends connecting to the chair broke off with a loud SNAP. The chains jerked into the air and flew towards the bottom of the judge's podium. A witch screamed and Harry stumbled onto his feet away from the chair, his heart thumping. The chains remained at the foot of the judge's podium, no longer moving, but Harry moved closer to Dumbledore just in case they changed their mind and decided to come back to life.

"Did you actually think you could come in here and use magic," Fudge screamed. The group didn't even try to hide their talking now. "You realize you are here for that very reason!?"

"I didn't do it," Harry shouted back.

Dumbledore sighed. "Cornelius, I do not know what you are trying to do, but I do not see how a fifteen-year-old wizard could remove these chains, especially without using his wand, when full grown Death Eaters could not."

"Like you didn't use magic in a Muggle town," Fudge asked, ignoring Dumbledore. His entire expression one of mad delight. "You knowingly and intentionally used magic in front of a Muggle. Why the Ministry has sent out two other warnings to you for that exact reason!"

"Maybe if you did a better job of keeping the Wizarding community safe, I wouldn't have to," Harry yelled back. "I had no choice, but to—"

"Lies," Fudge roared. "You cast a corporeal Patronus knowing full well—"

"A full Patronus," one witch asked. "Not smoke, or wisps of silver, but an actual formed Patronus?"

"Yes," Harry said fast. He knew if he didn't answer quickly, Fudge would take back over. "My cousin, a Muggle, and I were attacked by Dementors and Gytrash! What else was I supposed to do!?" His anger flared, and he reminded himself not to lash out. It wouldn't do any good to get himself arrested while at his hearing, but these people had to understand. He hadn't used magic for fun, he'd used it to save his and Dudley's life. If they knew Dudley, they'd be giving him a reward for actually bothering to save him.

"You expect us to believe such a convenient story?!"

"Why else would I cast a Patronus," Harry demanded. Out of all the spells he could have used, and his uncle had been close to seeing him cast a killing curse that day, why a Patronus unless Dementors had been present?

"The Ministry has complete control over the Dementors! They have never left Azkaban!"

"They have before," Dumbledore said, quietly.

Fudge stood up so fast the papers in front of him scattered onto the floor. Percy lunged out of his seat and began picking them up. "WE ARE NOT HERE TO SPEAK OF YOUR DERANGED THEORIES ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO!"

"If the Ministry has complete control over the Dementors, then why is a Ministry official sending Dementors to Muggle towns," Dumbledore asked.

"THERE NEVER WAS A DEMENTOR IN LITTLE WHINGING!"

"We have a witness," Dumbledore said, his voice still calm. Harry wanted to know Dumbledore's secret of keeping his anger under control. "For the Dementors, for the Gytrash. Harry himself was scratched by one of the Gytrash in question." He motioned to Harry as he spoke. "There is still a rather large mark on his arm."

"A Gytrash scratch?" The witch named Amelia Bones stood up and walked towards Harry. She grabbed his arm with the scratch mark on it. The mark had healed in the sense it wasn't going to bleed, but the long red scratch was still evident. The witch positioned her finger at the top of the scratch and ran it down his arm to the bottom of the mark. She gave a low whistle.

"Is it a Gytrash scratch Amelia," a witch with a pipe asked.

"Yeah," she said, her voice grave. "An adult," She released Harry's arm and locked eyes with him. "How many?"

"I don't know," Harry said. "At least three. It was hard to see them. I got a good look at the one that scratched me as it ran off when I used Lumos, but there were two more waiting for it. There was a lot of howling though, so there might have been more than that."

Her eyes hardened, and she looked at Fudge. "We've had to send people near Little Whinging to capture a pack of Gytrash around that date. The Muggles in charge of capturing animals were called in. We still have four of them in St. Mungo's being treated for bites. You're lucky you were only scratched."

"I'm just glad the healing ointment worked," Harry explained. "It felt like someone had shoved hot metal into my arm."

Amelia nodded and walked back towards her seat.

Harry felt immense pleasure at the look on Fudge's face. He seemed to have aged a few years.

"There were seven of them, weren't there," a wizard in the back asked. "Quite a large pack, especially for one that made it into a Muggle town." A group of nods.

"Strange since they don't care for light," another witch muttered. "The last case of Gytrash in a Muggle town had three?"

"Yes, in Waltham Abbey," a short wizard to the left said.

"Enough!" Fudge shouted. "We are here about his misuse of magic, not the sudden invasion of Gytrash!"

"The Gytrash might have been following the Dementors," the witch with the pipe said. "Wouldn't be the first time a pack of Gytrash was attracted to the darkness the Dementors cause."

"Even if Dementors sometimes attract Gytrash, the Dementors are under our control and are at Azkaban," Fudge growled.

"We did bring a witness with," Dumbledore reminded them. The group all turned to Dumbledore. They looked surprised to see him still there.

"Muggles can't see Dementors!"

"No, they cannot, but Squibs can," Dumbledore said. "And she was also present when the Gytrash attacked."

"She's the one who told me to use Lumos to drive the Gytrash back," Harry explained. He owed Mrs. Figg a great deal for that. He would need to buy her a gift basket when they went to Diagon. Maybe one full of cat food.

"Shall I go retrieve the witness? She's waiting right outside the door," Dumbledore said.

"No," Fudge growled. "Weasley!" Percy jumped, his knees hitting the bottom of his desk and he let out a small yelp. Now his papers flew up and onto the floor. Harry heard Percy curse and the all too familiar sound of an ink bottle falling over. "WE DO NOT HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH YOUR CLUMSINESS! GO GET THE WITNESS!"

"Yes sir," Percy said, his voice shaking. He bent down and began collecting the papers.

"NOW!"

Percy once again jumped. "O, of course, sir. Sorry, sir." He gave the scattered papers a quick look of longing before running to the doors. He made sure to walk past Dumbledore instead of Harry. He opened one door, let out another noise of surprise, and backed away.

Harry felt somewhat bad for Percy. Fudge was treating him like a slave, not a court scribe.

Mrs. Figg walked into the room hesitantly. Her fingers white from gripping her handbag and she kept looking from one side of the room to next. Harry could see the dread caused by the room hitting her. He couldn't blame her. This place was designed to bring forth fear. Despite that dread, she walked towards the stands, only stopping when she stood next to Dumbledore.

Percy closed the door and did a strange half-run, half-walk movement back to his seat.

'What did you do?'

'I did nothing. He saw Remus.'

Dumbledore looked at Harry out of the corner of his eye. Harry gave the smallest headshake he could manage.

"Name," Fudge demanded.

"Arabella Doreen Figg," she said, her eyes darting from one side of the room to the other.

Harry hoped Mrs. Figg could do this. She already looked like she wanted to cry.

"Well, go ahead! Tell us your story," Fudge said, clearly annoyed.

"Well, I, I had just come back from shopping and— "

"About the Dementors. not your life story," Fudge yelled.

Mrs. Figg flinched.

"They were in the alleyway! Two of them! One by Harry, one by that useless child," she managed. Her fingers began boring holes into her bag. "The one by Harry almost had him. R, right before it kissed him, he cast a Patronus! It hit the Dementor next to him. Then he sent it after the one trying to get his cousin," she sniffed.

"Can Squibs see Dementors," a witch asked.

'Can they,' Harry asked. What was the point of having Mrs. Figg present if she hadn't been able to see anything?

'Oh, she knows what they look like, now,' the shadow answered sounding both smug and amused.

"I, it's hard to explain…" she started.

"BECAUSE YOU SAW NOTHING," Fudge screamed.

"No," Mrs. Figg yelled back. "I did! It's just the cloak! It was tattered, but it covered up its whole body! The only thing I could see were its hands! They looked like the hands of a skeleton, claw-like even! It had Harry by the neck," she half-yelled, half-sobbed. "And the dread it caused… I've never felt such overwhelming despair." She wiped a few tears away.

"The fat child was even more useless after that. Harry had to practically carry him! It took forever to get back. And then the lights went out again," she explained, energy and confidence pouring into her words. "Gytrash! As if the Dementors weren't enough! They circled us." She motioned to Harry. "This fool didn't know how to get rid of them! At his age! I had to tell him to use Lumos!" She shook her head. "One of them slipped by, though. I was terrified it had bitten him. I told him, if your arm turns blue, you have to let someone know immediately!"

"You expect us to believe any of this," Fudge asked.

"I'm not the only one who saw the Gytrash," Mrs. Figg said. "The other Muggles in my neighborhood thought they were wolves."

"How many were there," Amelia asked.

"Three," Mrs. Figg said, full of confidence. "That I saw anyway."

"This is ridiculous," Fudge said, his voice even for the first time since the trial started. "We're to believe the word of a Squib?"

More than a few gasps erupted from around the Minister.

"Cornelius," a wizard said, sounding disgusted.

"Alright, alright," The minister said waving his hands. "It wasn't meant to sound like that, but she's a Squib! If she could see a Dementor, why can't Muggles?"

There was a rush of murmurs across the stands.

'Because I showed her one,' the shadow said, his amusement clear. 'In fact, she saw the entire memory from a different point of view,'

'You didn't…'

'I did.'

Harry didn't know if he should smile or not. Seeing a Dementor for the first time had probably given Mrs. Figg nightmares. Still, it had made her testimony more convincing.

'How?'

'I may have _accidentally _shown her my memory,' he said.

Suddenly seeing the shadow's point of view of the entire event couldn't have been easy on her. She probably thought she was going mad. Something the shadow was far too skilled at doing to people. 'You're horrible.'

'I told you I'd do whatever it took to keep you safe. I can wipe the memory from her mind if you'd like once this is over.'

'… You can erase memories?' A shiver ran through Harry. He knew you could extract them, put them in bottles to be viewed later by others, but completely erase them? Had he asked whoever had sent the necklace to remove his memory of attacking the student?

A witch that hadn't spoken yet leaned towards Fudge. The Minister nodded.

"Dolores Jane Umbridge would like to speak," Fudge said.

A very short witch with curly brown hair held up by a rather large bow came forward.

'She looks like a toad,' Harry said.

Laughter echoed in Harry's mind.

No matter how you looked at the woman, she was a toad. The lower part of her face was wider than the upper half and flatter. Her skull didn't seem able to hold all of her eyes and they kept shifting like a toad's eyes would when it was searching for food.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong," she started.

'That voice,' the shadow said, laughing harder. 'She sounds like she's ten.'

The shadow's statement was spot on and yet Harry couldn't get himself to join in with his laughter. There was something oddly…. almost evil about the woman. She might sound innocent enough, but something in her eyes said she wasn't someone you took lightly.

"But Dumbledore, you make it sound as if you expect the Wizengamot to drop all charges over a lie." She let out a very short, high-pitched laugh. "We all know there were no Dementors in Little Whinging and while there may have been Gytrash in the area," she said tossing a quick glare at Amelia. "As Minister Fudge has stated numerous times already, the Ministry has and always will, have complete control over each and every Dementor. So while Mister Potter may be cleared of charges for using Lumos, why does it sound like your only grounds of defense for casting a Patronus lie within blaming the Ministry?"

Dumbledore smiled and bowed his head.

"My dear Madam Umbridge. I am merely following the facts as they are known to me and everyone else within this courtroom. And forgive me for pointing out a flaw in your reasoning, but the Ministry of Magic has not always had complete control over the Dementors."

This time Umbridge gave off a loud squawk of a laugh. Harry and many others in the room winced. There was no way this woman had any friends if this was her genuine laugh and voice.

"You-know-who has not been resurrected," Fudge screamed.

"If you refuse to acknowledge that may be the case," Dumbledore pressed on. "Then we must consider the alternative. That someone within the Ministry ordered those Dementors to attack Harry.—"

"LI—"

"Please Cornelius, let me finish," Dumbledore said, his voice somehow remaining even. "Whether or not Voldemort," everyone in the stands flinched, "is back in power is not the issue here. Many of his followers are still alive and would like nothing more than to see Harry dead. It is why everyone, the Ministry included, has taken such great lengths to ensure his safety, yes?" The room went silent. "So, for a moment, let us pretend we are not having this disagreement about Voldemort." Another round of flinches. "If this is simply a matter of someone who wishes Harry harm and having found his residence, which is difficult, but possible, and they have the resources to have Dementors sent there, what then?"

"This is preposterous," Umbridge said, shaking. "No Ministry worker would ever order a pair of Dementors to attack anyone!"

"Need I remind the Wizengamot that it was in this very courtroom that people with those sorts of _resources_ were tried and found guilty?" He began rummaging through his robe pocket and produced a large vanilla envelope that he placed on Fudge's judge's stand.

"What is this," Fudge demanded.

"Well, you see, I happen to associate with Muggle-borns and they suggested some very wonderful evidence." Dumbledore's eyes began to dance. "These are reports from UK Power pertaining to Little Whinging. The other is a report from the meteorological center nearby, the last—"

"What can these Muggle," Fudge didn't seem to know what to call these institutions. "What can they possibly prove?!"

"I was surprised at the evidence the Muggle's had myself," Dumbledore said. "If you look at the first packet, the one from UK Power, a company that provides electricity for Surrey county. If you read the parts that are highlighted, you will see that in fact on the time and date in question of the Dementor attack, and Harry's supposed misuse of magic, the company had an unexplainable power outage through half of Little Whinging."

"Wh, what?"

"And," Dumbledore said, his cheer growing. "If you would be so kind as to take a look at the second packet. This one is from what Muggles call a meteorological center. This company tracks temperatures and weather. If you take a look at their picture about three pages in, it will show that the same area of Little Whinging that lost power, also experienced a rather large temperature drop, which also happens to be where Harry was at the time of the Dementor attack and his misuse of magic."

"Th, this is nonsense!" Fudge screamed, his face turning a nasty shade of burgundy. "We can't use Muggle, whatever these are, as proof of anything!"

The rest of the Wizengamot, excluding Percy and Umbridge, seemed to think otherwise. Amelia had grabbed the packets and started looking through them before she passed them to other members.

"The maps mark the same area, date, and time, as having abnormal behavior. The weather one is quite interesting. It shows an eighth of a kilometer radius having a 5-degree Celsius difference from everywhere else in Little Whinging," Amelia said.

"It says here it lasted about six minutes," the wizard behind Amelia pointed out.

"The power went out at the same time the weather changed, but it shows a second power outage ten minutes later," the witch with the pipe added excitedly. "That one lasted it says… fifteen minutes!"

"And look," another wizard said, almost jumping from his bench seat. "The second outage moved down from the first one!"

"WE CANNOT—"

"This last page is a map of a neighborhood. This is the neighborhood Harry Potter lives in," another witch asked Dumbledore. She was holding up the paper in question.

"It is," Dumbledore said, brightly.

"And the alleyway here is marked," she said, bringing one hand to her chin. "The power outage moves from the direction of the alley to Privet drive."

"Yes," Dumbledore said.

"ALL OF THIS IS FAKE," Fudge screamed, getting to his feet. "HAVE ANY OF YOU HEARD OF THESE PLACES?!"

"No," Amelia Bones said evenly. "But being as they are part of the Muggle government in that area, it shouldn't be too hard to find out if they exist."

"I do NOT want this hearing lasting all day!"

"If you doubt my claims, by all means," Dumbledore said. "But if you would, Mrs. Figg."

"Y, yes." The Squib started going through her handbag.

"NOW WHAT?!"

Mrs. Figg handed Dumbledore a letter. The headmaster took it and handed it to Fudge.

"This is an electric bill from British Gas, sent to Mrs. Figg, requesting payment for her use of electricity at her house, which is not far from Harry's own. If you look further down, it states that her electricity comes from UK Power."

Amelia Bones didn't wait for Fudge. She snatched the letter in question from the judge's podium, her eyes scanning everything. When she finished, she passed it to the witch besides her.

Fudge looked like someone had hit him with a Full body-binding curse. He kept staring ahead at the double doors, his mouth hanging open just enough to notice, while his fingernails dug into the judge's podium.

'I never thought about the electric company,' Harry said. And the weather center? He didn't know who gave Dumbledore the tip, but he owed them as well. Who would have thought basic Muggle institutions that so many took for granted could win him an innocent verdict from a magical court.

The Wizengamot was now holding a full-blown conference. Even Umbridge paled, her eyes bulging more than usual when she looked at the papers. He was going to win this.

'It seems they are convinced,' the shadow said.

Harry nodded.

"There is no proof," Fudge said again, his voice quiet. "These papers are fake! Part of their elaborate story to make the Ministry of Magic look like fools! I will not have it!"

"Then we call for a recess," Amelia Bones said. "We will have these locations verified and then we can decide."

"THERE'S NO TIME! WE WOULD BE WASTING AN ENTIRE DAY OVER SOME LIES!"

"I do believe the defense is entitled to that time. As the alternative would be possibly declaring an innocent wizard guilty," Dumbledore said.

"Agreed," Amelia said, the others in the stand nodding, most of them also voicing their agreement.

Fudge screamed and turned on the Wizengamot.

"FINE! GO! SEE THAT THIS IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME! I'LL HAVE ALL YOUR JOBS FOR THIS! WEASLEY!" Fudge stormed down the steps from the judge's box. Percy swept up all the papers off his and Fudge's papers before rushing after him.

"I believe we are free to wait in the hall," Dumbledore asked.

"Do not leave the building," Amelia warned. She was grinning at Dumbledore.

"I wouldn't dream of it Madam Bones." Dumbledore motioned for Harry and Mrs. Figg to follow him outside of the courtroom. Harry spotted Lupin leaning against the wall, his eyes on the ceiling. He seemed to be daydreaming.

"Is everything alright Remus?"

Lupin turned his gaze on the three. "That depends. I saw Fudge storm out of there and Percy trying to run a marathon to keep up. Was Harry cleared?"

"Recess," Harry said.

"Why," Lupin asked, surprised.

"Those papers you gathered from the Muggles turned out to be rather convincing," Dumbledore said. "I am positive Harry will be cleared of all charges once it has been proven these places not only exist but do what the papers claim they do."

"You suggested the papers," Harry asked. Lupin was fast becoming one of his favorite people. In fact, he was right next to Sirius.

"I've been talking to everyone on ways we could clear your name and Hemione suggested we try to find physical proof that the Dementors had been there," Lupin explained. "I realized the power company in charge of Little Whinging would have to have reports of unexplainable power outages during the attack. On a whim, I called around to see if any weather stations had recorded any strange weather in Little Whinging the day of the attack."

Harry threw his arms around Lupin, unable to explain how grateful he was. He was so happy to have the people he did on his side. Sheepishly, Lupin returned the hug. "Thank you Lupin."

"Wait until you're cleared to thank me."

"Not just this, eh, mostly this, but you've helped me so many times in the last few years." Lupin may not have always been in his life, but without him, Harry wouldn't be alive now. He had taught Harry the Patronus charm, had given him glimpses into his father's life at school. Lupin had saved him from the Dursleys' that summer, had kept his godfather from going insane and now he was saving Harry from a corrupt Fudge. No wonder Sirius loved him so much. Lupin was amazing.

They separated from the hug, Lupin looking far more embarrassed than he should.

"I would like to thank you for keeping certain things under control," Dumbledore said, his voice quiet.

'I'm not a thing,' the shadow said, anger in his voice. 'And you did not control me, Dumbledore simply did his job for once and I didn't have to step in.'

"He umm… said you just did your job for once," Harry said. 'You realize Lupin and him just saved me, right?'

'I like Remus,' the shadow said.

Dumbledore was laughing despite what Harry had just said to him.

Harry had a novel-length amount of questions for the headmaster now that they were alone, but he didn't know where to start. Dumbledore was in a pleasant mood compared to when Harry had seen him at number twelve. He was acting like the headmaster Harry had always known and couldn't believe Dumbledore had gone as far as to lock Sirius up in the basement or had stopped him from being able to receive any mail.

"Why did you put an anti-mail charm on my house," he asked. "Knowing full well a Gytrash had just attacked me." A spark of anger struck in him, but that was it. He realized he was mad, yes, but he was more sad than angry. "I could have died…"

"No Harry, you would not have," Dumbledore said. "I know you believe you were alone and abandoned," his smile grew when Harry's stared at him in surprise, "but I assure you, you merely had the illusion of privacy." He sighed then as he went on. "The anti-mail charm was to avoid you getting your hands on a certain item."

"But…." If Harry hadn't had the necklace, he'd have gone mad.

"I am sure you are all too aware of the pain you've been in these last few days?"

"Yes," Harry muttered.

"I was trying to avoid having you go through that," he explained. "I, however, failed in that matter. I hope you can forgive me." He gave a slight bow of his head.

'You would have been enduring a far worse pain if you hadn't gotten the necklace,' the shadow snorted.

"What am I being accused of this time," Dumbledore asked. Harry didn't understand why Dumbledore found all of this so amusing. The shadow was dangerous, that much they all knew. Why was Dumbledore not worried about the shadow's distaste for him? It was almost like the headmaster was enjoying himself.

The elevator door at the end of the hall opened. Amelia Bones strode towards them, grinning. "So there were some…issues upstairs," she said, stopping in front of Dumbledore. "I'll take care of the paperwork, but Harry is free to go. The Muggle's department confirmed these locations and we have dropped all the charges."

"Thank you Madam Bones," Dumbledore said.

"I will be looking into that Dementor attack," she said. "I can't have Dementors, regardless if someone ordered it or not, going after innocent people."

"You have my utmost gratitude."

"I'm merely doing my job." She lowered her voice. "A lot more than what Fudge was doing in there." Her eyes flickered to Lupin and Harry then back to Dumbledore. "I need to speak with you alone Albus."

"Of course. Remus, Harry, I believe you were both instructed to bring home victory burgers…?"

"Yes," Lupin said, giving Harry a slight push. "Thank you so much, Dumbledore. Madam Bones." He turned to Harry. "Come on." They did a fast walk to the elevator and stepped in. "I was sure they were going to declare you innocent, but hearing it said," he let out a breath and grinned.

"Yeah, no kidding," Harry agreed.

"You aren't happy about being cleared?" He was staring at Harry now.

"No, I'm ecstatic they saw through the lies. I just wanted to ask Dumbledore about some more things." He hadn't felt this happy in a long time. He would be able to return to Hogwarts, his wand wasn't going to be confiscated, and he knew for sure that he had people who cared about him, even if they didn't act like it all the time. But that didn't change the fact that Dumbledore seemed to be hiding something. Harry needed answers.

"You'll see him again when your term starts," Lupin said. The elevator shuddered and stopped.

"Main floor," the voice in the elevator said.

**(TBC)**


	11. The Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...It seems every chapter now is going to be a fight against self-indulgence.  
Warnings: It's shounen-ai, slash, yaoi, gay. Harry is dating Tom. Sirius is dating Remus. So on and so forth.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

"Thanks again, Arabella," Lupin said. "Without your testimony, we wouldn't have won."

"Pft! Those reports you gathered were more than enough, but you're quite welcome," she said, her cheeks turning pink as she stepped into the old phone booth. Lupin followed her in and gave Harry a questioning look when he didn't join them.

"I don't think there'll be enough room…. " Mrs. Figg wasn't big by any means, but Harry and Lupin had barely fit on the ride down. Adding his neighbor to the mix just wasn't going to work.

"It extends from this side," Lupin said. "The charm doesn't work if you enter from above in case Muggles try to use the phone."

"Oh." He stepped in and sure enough, the inside stretched out to hold all three of them comfortably.

'Why isn't it charmed to expand if needed after you put the code in?'

'Because most of the people working at the ministry are idiots.'

Harry snickered. He couldn't disagree. The door closed behind him; the elevator giving a slight shake. He removed his badge from his shirt and saw Lupin doing the same before he gave the badge a look of disgust and crushed it in his hand. Once again, the strength Lupin showed surprised Harry. He'd doubted Lupin could have opened a jar before the trial.

"Just do everyone a favor and teach this boy! Can get rid of a Dementor but doesn't even know what a Gytrash is!"

"It never occurred to any of us that Harry would come across one. Gytrash aren't taught until sixth year and they aren't exactly common," Lupin explained. He dropped the smashed-up badge into his pocket, "But I'll teach him the basics before he goes back to school."

"Good," she muttered.

"Thanks for testifying for me," Harry said. He didn't believe his trial would have gone nearly as well without it, papers or not.

Mrs. Figg gave him a side glance. "You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were attacked. Hell, you went out of your way to protect that blubbering whale. You're not a bad kid," she said. "Much better behaved and smarter than that useless troll of a child you live with." The elevator shuddered, all three of them putting their hands against the walls to keep themselves steady. "I never meant to bore you to death every time I watched you, you know. But if that family of yours even suspected you enjoyed being at my house, they would have forbidden you to ever come over again. And I couldn't risk having someone else babysit you. You understand, right?"

She was giving Harry a pleading look she didn't need to. She'd just helped save him from a horrible fate of being banned from using any kind of magic ever again. It made up for every time she'd made Harry sit on her couch and forced him to look at the photos of every cat she'd ever owned. He was fine with the questionable pieces of cake she'd given him. Enduring those with a smile had helped prepare him to eat Hagrid's cooking while still looking delighted.

"Yeah," Harry agreed, offering her a smile. "I understand. Thank you." After all, it was the Dursleys' goal in life to make him as miserable as possible. If he'd smiled even once while he'd been at Mrs. Figg's house, they'd have somehow smelt it on him and the only time he'd of been able to see her after that would have been through a house window. Besides, he hadn't known it, but she was and had been a direct line of communication to Dumbledore since he'd arrived at the Dursleys. It was nice to know he'd never actually been alone. If something horrible had ever happened, Mrs. Figg would have alerted someone to come help.

"If you ever need a good Kneazle or any special kind of cat, just ask," she said. "I'm quite well known around breeding circles."

"I'll keep that in mind." Crookshanks was the only reference Harry had to a Kneazle. Hermione's cat was only half but remarkably smart. He'd helped Sirius track down his parents' traitor. It might be nice to have two around, but Harry didn't think he could care for two pets. Not right now, anyway.

Light began to filter in from above them and soon enough the buildings and road from outside came into view.

The phone booth gave a final shudder and came to a stop

They stepped out of the red decrepit phone booth, the scent of water washing over them, small drops of rain falling at random. If the dreary sky and wind were of any indication, it would be storming soon and Harry would be outside to experience it because he was free.

Free. He was absolutely free. One hundred percent, no chance at getting ambushed by someone from the Ministry of Magic, no posters on every street declaring him a criminal. He had beaten the odds, thanks to the hard work and collaboration of his friends, and now he could stop worrying about getting kicked out of school or having his wand broken in half. He was officially a fifth-year student. He would get to go back to Hogwarts and be in the same classes as his friends. Harry could stop worrying.

For now, anyway.

"Stay out of trouble," Mrs. Figg called out to them. She went right, turned right again when she was at the corner, and then was out of sight.

"Well," Lupin said, looking more like himself. "We should probably get those burgers before it starts pouring."

"Yeah," Harry said, grinning.

They went left from the phone booth and then crossed the street. It amazed Harry at how many people were rushing past them or into buildings. They weren't just walking, but in cars, buses, taxis, and a few were riding bikes. There were just so many of them. They didn't amount to what he'd seen in the entrance hall of the Ministry, but close enough.

"Is this your first time in a city," Lupin asked.

"That obvious," Harry asked. Some of the buildings were so large they blocked out his view of the sky.

"You've never really gotten to experience either worlds. I wish he never would have traded places," he muttered.

Harry did too. If anyone would have kept his parents' secret, it would have been Sirius or Lupin. His godfather had made a mistake, though. It wasn't like Sirius had purposely gotten his parents killed. That it happened at all probably still haunted his godfather, and he would probably never forgive himself for it. Harry hoped he would eventually, because he didn't blame Sirius at all. That damn rat and Voldemort. They were the ones who needed to pay.

The drizzle turned into a light rain as they made their way through numerous streets and turned onto a busier street. Both sides of the street had large storefronts, one after another. The corner shop was a clothing store, six mannequins dressed up in fall outfits. The store had positioned them into poses to show everyone just how brilliant friends they all were by enjoying a picnic together.

_Must be nice to have a normal life_, he thought bitterly. He gave the shop one last harsh glare before catching up with Lupin.

Lupin had stopped at the next storefront. It was long with two divided windows, a set of double doors, followed by two more divided windows. The sign and actual structure were all black with golden accents. The first window had kitchen wares in it, the second had small knickknacks. The doors were tinted, so Harry couldn't see in. The third window contained a display of jewelry, and the last one had smaller bedroom items. Lupin was staring at the last window.

"I was told the other day if we were going to be stuck in such a filthy, run-down, hell hole, we'd be gutting every single room until it was no longer the same place," he said, a half-smile on his face.

Harry nodded as he looked over the items in the window. A dark wood bedside table stood displayed with a decorative lamp on top, a book resting next to the lamp's base.

"It's up to the owner, right?"

"Yes. I just never thought I'd be helping redecorate a house. I always thought if anywhere, it'd be a small flat with access to an exceptionally strong basement." Harry couldn't tell if Lupin was joking or not.

_They moved the kitchen upstairs so Lupin could use the basement_; he realized. He'd thought it was odd that the Order had spent the first few days at number twelve moving an entire room to the first floor. Now that he understood, he realized just how much Sirius must care for Lupin.

"Harry?"

He turned at the sound of Lupin's voice.

"Yeah?"

"The clouds are getting darker. We can explore more when it's not going to storm."

They hurried past the other two storefronts, only getting glimpses of their merchandise. One sold antiques, another one large furniture. They crossed the street fast, passed a deli, and then turned into the next door.

**(X)**

"We're back," Lupin called out. "Come here Harry, you looked like a drowned rat." Harry laughed as Lupin pulled out his wand and tapped his shirt. His clothes, body, and hair dried instantly. Lupin repeated the spell on himself. "Next time we can Appearate at the diner if you want."

"I preferred the two buses, the subway, and a taxi," he grinned. As soon as they'd gotten their food, the rain had picked up. Lucky for them, there’d been a bus stop at the end of the street the dinner was on. They'd taken a second bus because the first one didn't drop people off at the subway. When they got off the subway, Lupin had been worried they were being followed. They'd grabbed a taxi instead of going straight home, letting the driver take them to a store four blocks away from number twelve. They'd ended up walking those four blocks back in the rain.

Harry had never been so happy to get rained on. He'd been able to stretch his legs, get some fresh air, even if that fresh air contained flying water droplets. He'd gotten to see more of the city and enjoy more time with Lupin. They didn't talk about the secrets of the universe, or anything related to the Wizarding World. Instead, they had joked around about nothing in particular as if they were just two normal people out buying burgers for lunch.

"Are the burgers safe?" There was no way the box hadn't gotten wet at some point during their trek through the rain.

"Enzo knows how to keep his food fresh," Lupin assured him. "Most witches and wizards in the food business do." He held up the small box that had somehow remained dry despite the weather.

They took their shoes off and made their way into the kitchen where it seemed everyone left in number twelve for the day had gathered. Sirius was pacing back and forth, only stopping when he saw the kitchen door swing open. Hermione and Ginny looked up from the table where they'd been examining their hands spread out before them. Ron glanced at Harry, while Fred and George looked like they wanted to climb over the table and shake him.

"Well," Sirius demanded, rushing towards them, his body tense.

"Sirius, I sent word that he was cleared hours ago," Lupin said. "I wouldn't have made you wait this whole time."

"Did anyone see a letter," Sirius demanded. Everyone shook their heads. "We've been waiting, panicked that you had both gotten arrested! No one had said anything, but…" He pulled both Lupin and Harry into a tight hug. "Next time send five letters!"

"I'm hoping there won't be a next time," Lupin said, his words more of a gasp.

"So, he's cleared of everything," Hermione asked.

"Yes," Lupin said.

"That's wonderful," Hermione said, beaming.

"Thanks for keeping your promise," Ginny said, a slight blush creeping across her cheeks.

Sirius released Lupin and pulled Harry into an even tighter hug. "Thank Merlin. Not that it would have mattered. You could have lived here with me if they'd expelled you," he whispered. "I would have made sure you learned everything you needed to know to fight Voldemort."

"Thanks," Harry said. While the idea of staying with Sirius wasn't a bad one, and he was sure his godfather could teach him a lot, he knew he needed to go back to Hogwarts. He didn't think Sirius had thought his statement through. Not only was Harry not of age, but he was also pretty sure the Ministry would have kept a close eye on him so he couldn't use magic if his wand had been confiscated. He was happy that his godfather was at least trying to look out for him though. "Maybe you can still teach me some stuff before the school term starts?"

Sirius finally let him go. He looked so happy and proud of Harry. "Sure." A wave of emotion swept across Sirius's face. "Where are those victory burgers," he asked, turning away from his godson. Lupin held up the small box he'd been protecting since they'd left the restaurant. Sirius snatched it from him. "Didn't have any problems, did you?"

"Besides having to promise Enzo we'd come back so his wife could meet Harry? No," Lupin said. He gave a slight wave of his wand, plates flying out of the cabinet. Each plate glided across the room and landed in front of an occupied chair on the table.

Sirius let out a loud laugh. He sat the box down on the table and tapped it with his wand. The box grew three times its original size; the sides unfolding like a blooming flower. Inside sat eight burgers and eight small bags of chips. Steam rose from all the food as if it'd just come off the grill. Sirius began dropping burgers and a bag of chips onto each plate.

"We're so glad you were cleared," Hermione said. She managed to get next to Harry and seemed to have decided it was her turn to hug him. Before he could protest, Ginny came up from his other side and hugged him as well.

'Aren't you popular," the shadow said, its tone cold.

'It's not like I'm enjoying this,' Harry shot back. His idea of celebrating was not to stand all day in the kitchen and let everyone take turns hugging him. The same feeling he'd had when he first arrived began to fill him. He didn't mind Sirius and Lupin hanging all over him, but once his friends started joining in, it became awkward. He was finding out fast that his tolerance for physical contact from others was quite limited.

** _CRACK!_ **

The girls and Ron screamed, light filling the kitchen from outside the window, followed quickly by an onslaught of rain. The trees in the backyard visible from the kitchen window swayed wildly, their leaves hardly able to remain on their branches. Within seconds the storm sped up, only hazy dark smudges visible behind the speeding streaks of rain.

"Looks like we got home just in time," Lupin laughed.

"No kidding," Harry said. Had they stopped for any reason on their way home, they really would have drowned.

"You two going to hog him all day," Fred asked looking at Hermione and Ginny. Harry wanted to know that himself because if this kept up, he was going to shove both girls onto the floor.

"We want to congratulate him too," George said.

"We knew Ginny liked Harry, but you too Hermione?" Fred let out a dramatic sigh.

The girls released Harry, both looking embarrassed and glaring at the twins. The twins grinned at them as the girls made their way back to their seats.

"Come on, sit down," Fred said.

Harry sat down across from Fred and George; glad they'd been nice enough to save him. Everyone was already walking a very thin thread, and he didn't think telling Hermione or Ginny to let go, or pushing them onto the floor, would have kept the situation civil.

"So how was it," George asked.

"Give us all the gritty details," Fred added.

"Yeah, what happened in there," Sirius asked. "I bet Fudge about died when they voted you innocent."

Harry spent the rest of his lunchtime recounting the entire tale of his hearing. He left out the parts about how sick he'd gotten from Appearating, the twins would have never let him live it down, and the shadow. Everyone listened attentively, and Lupin had to magically reheat their burgers more than once during his story. When he finished, the smiles everyone had been wearing when he'd started soured once Harry brought up Percy. The twins, however, looked positively delighted.

"Serves that tosser right," Fred said.

"Wish you'd taken pictures," George said.

"He didn't even acknowledge me," Harry said. "I couldn't believe he was even there. I mean with Mrs. Weasley being…" He couldn't get himself to finish. If he'd had a choice, he would have asked for the Ministry to change the date of the hearing. Knowing Fudge, he probably would have turned Harry’s request down and accused Harry of trying to flee the country.

"I don't think anyone's told him yet," Fred said. "Or rather, I don't think he's opened any of the letters dad has sent."

"He probably wouldn't even believe mum's gone unless Fudge told him anyway," George snorted.

"What happened anyway," Harry asked. He'd never been one of Percy's favorite people, but he'd tolerated Harry in the sense that he was Ron's friend and a fellow Gryffindor. That Percy had decided he no longer knew Harry had been an odd feeling.

The Weasley children exchanged dark looks.

"So, that git, and I'm being nice," Fred started. "He chose Fudge over our family."

"And it wouldn't have been so bad, but he's so far up Fudge's arse, he insulted both mum and dad. Said they were crazy to listen to Dumbledore, and that you were a liar looking for attention," George said. "To sum the fight up."

"Also said dad was a disgrace," Fred said, his anger rising. "They almost got into a fistfight."

'Yeah, because I just love attention,' he said. It was one thing for Percy not to believe Harry. Most of the students at Hogwarts decided he was a liar more than half of the time anyway, but to not believe Dumbledore? To consider his own parents a disgrace? All because Fudge was spreading lies and Percy had been dumb enough to believe them.

'You seem to enjoy my attention.’

Shock set in as soon as he realized he'd mentally spoke with the shadow instead of merely thinking the words. He tried to come up with a response, but instead, he remained quiet his face burning. He needed to be more careful when he was talking to the shadow and other people.

"Mum went to London to try and talk with him," Ron said. "But he wouldn't listen."

"Oh…" The situation was a lot worse than Harry had thought. How could Percy believe Fudge over his family? He'd always been a jerk, but this seemed extreme even for him. And what had he gained from disowning them? Maybe a high-paying job, but from what Harry had seen, Percy was Fudge's slave. "I knew he was always…" He tried to think of the right word.

"A power-hungry tosser," Fred suggested.

"A troll's bog," George said.

"He actually cornered dad at work and told him to stay away," Fred said, angrily.

"And don't forget how he left mum in tears when he moved out," Ron mumbled.

The twins were clenching their fists now while Ginny and Ron's face had turned burgundy.

Harry couldn't blame them for being angry. Mrs. Weasley had died before being able to reconcile with Percy. Their older brother had caused their mum a great deal of pain without thinking twice that he might never see her again. It was exactly for this reason that people needed to know that Voldemort was back. If Percy had known that he might never see his mother again, would he have had such a row with them? _No if Fudge would just tell everyone the truth, there wouldn’t have been anything for them to fight about._

"I'm not going to talk to him even if he does come to mum's funeral," Ginny said, both her voice and expression defiant. "In fact, I hope he doesn't come at all. He doesn't deserve to."

"Yeah," Ron said in agreement. "He doesn't care about mum or dad. Why should we invite him?"

"You don't exactly invite people to a funeral," Lupin said, uneasily.

"We should send a box of Puking Pastilles to his desk without the antidote," Fred muttered.

Sirius choked on the bite of burger he'd just taken, laughing.

The other Weasley children nodded.

"What are Puking Pastilles," Harry asked.

Fred looked at Harry, at George, and then they both looked at Harry, the grins returning to their faces.

"Let's finish eating and we'll show you," Fred said.

TAP TAP TAP TAPTAPTAP!

Everyone turned to the kitchen window. A large school owl was hitting the glass frantically with its beak. Lupin dashed over to the kitchen door and opened it. The owl zoomed in, along with a curtain of rain and what Harry thought might be small pieces of hail. Lupin closed the door, the poor owl standing on the floor in a daze, water dripping off its feather and pooling around its feet.

"Why did they send an owl," Lupin muttered. He knelt next to the owl and dried it off with his wand.

"I'll go grab some owl treats," Sirius said, walking over to a cabinet.

The owl gave an appreciative hoot and hopped onto the back of a kitchen chair. It held its leg out to show off the package attached to it proudly for everyone to see. Lupin removed the large envelope and opened it while Sirius dropped a handful of the owl treats onto the table. The owl's eyes lit up, and it dived into them.

"School lists," Lupin said. He passed each of them out.

Harry had barely gotten the seal off his when he heard Hermione's all too familiar scream.

"LOOK!" She was holding up a Prefect badge so everyone could see. "I'm a prefect!"

"Congratulations," Lupin said. He finished wiping up the water the owl had brought in and looked at the badge Hermione was holding up. It was red and gold with a lion in the background and a large P set in the center.

"I have to let mum and dad know!" She grabbed her school letter and ran out of the kitchen.

"Mental," Ron muttered.

"Who else would they choose to be a prefect," Harry asked. Out of everyone in their year, the only one who came to mind was Hermione.

"Yeah, guess you're right." Ron broke the seal off his envelope and went silent. His mouth became a thin line.

"What," Harry asked.

"You get kicked out," Fred asked.

"Maybe they had to kick someone out, so they chucked Ron out instead of Harry," George grinned.

"N, no. I…" Ron dug his hand into the envelope and removed the prefect badge from within.

"That's gotta be a mistake," Fred said. He was eyeing the badge wearily.

"Who could Dumbledore possibly mistake for Ron," George asked.

"Is there a letter in there confirming you're a prefect," Fred asked.

Ron pulled his letter out and sure enough, there were two pieces of parchment folded together.

Fred and George both whistled.

"Maybe Dumbledore has gone senile," Fred said.

"Should I write dad," Ron asked. He sounded dazed, numb even.

"Yeah," Fred said. "He could use some good news."

Ron nodded and left the kitchen with his letter and badge.

Harry wasn't sure how to take this news himself. The choosing of prefects had been the last thing on his mind with the trial, his necklace, and the Gytrash scratch. But when he thought about it, he'd expected Hermione to get one. There wasn't a single female student who could compare to her in their year. She had perfect grades; she tried hard; she studied, and for the most part, followed the rules. She was an exemplary student. But Ron?

How could Dumbledore choose Ron over him? Not that he wanted the position.

_Stop it_, he scolded himself. He didn't want to admit it, but Ron deserved the position. His friend needed something to be happy about, he needed some recognition. Harry had sworn last year if Ron's named had gotten pulled from the goblet that he would have supported him no matter what. Who wanted to be in charge of scolding younger students or making sure no one was breaking curfew, anyway? Who wanted that kind of responsibility or attention? He'd experienced both, more than he'd ever wanted since he'd somehow become Voldemort's target.

But now, with both of his friends becoming prefects, he felt like he'd lost both of them.

They'd been told about the Order and number twelve before him and they'd kept that information from him, and now they were prefects. Was Dumbledore awarding them for keeping Harry in the dark over the summer? Had they proven themselves trustworthy to the headmaster? Whatever the reason, he felt like his friends were drifting away. Almost like Dumbledore was going out of his way to keep them separated. Maybe they'd be safer that way….

"We're going to get everything set up," George said. He waved his wand, his empty plate shooting into the sink. A shattering sound followed, making him wince and laugh. "Meet us in our room." He made a run for it before Lupin said anything.

Lupin sighed.

"Wanna come, Ginny," Fred asked.

"Sure."

Fred pulled out his wand, saw the look on Lupin's face, and carried his and Ginny's plates to the sink carefully. He set them down so nicely they didn't even make a sound when he let them go.

"Thank you," Lupin said, looking amused.

Fred gave him a quick salute. "I wonder if we could get a box past the Ministry's security," Fred said as he and Ginny left the kitchen.

'You don't need a badge,' the shadow said, his voice gentle. 'It would just cause problems if you had to go out and patrol every evening.'

'I know, but Ron?'

'I admit, the Daily Prophet may have been right in their comments about Dumbledore having gone mad, but I still believe this is for the better.'

'Yeah.'

"I bet he chose those two thinking they'd keep Harry out of trouble," Sirius said laughing. He waved his wand over the sink, no doubt fixing George's plate. Another swish had water shooting out of the sink's faucet. "You'd think Dumbledore would have learned his lesson with you." He grinned at Lupin, his back to the sink.

"What do you mean," Harry asked. He hoped the sink knew when to stop because he could already see bubbles peaking up from the sink's ridge.

"Dumbledore made the strange choice of choosing me to be a prefect my fifth year," Lupin said. "We came to the conclusion that the only reason Dumbledore would ever give me such a role would be as a last-ditch effort to get James and Sirius under control." He sat down at the table with a mug in his hands.

"Didn't work," Sirius said. "Actually, it did work, just not for Dumbledore," he locked eyes with Lupin.

Somehow hearing that Lupin was the only one who'd gotten a badge made him feel a tad better. From what Harry had heard about his father and Sirius's school years, he'd have picked Lupin too.

"Don't remind me," Lupin said. He smiled looking down at his mug before he dropped his elbows onto the table, his head resting in his hands. His body began to shake.

"Go ahead and go upstairs, Harry," Sirius said. He sat down next to Lupin and started rubbing his back.

Harry turned and almost bolted from the kitchen. Why was he so stupid and selfish? Yes, he wanted and deserved to know about his parents, but not at the cost of Lupin and Sirius's happiness. He would have to find out about them some other way.

He climbed the steps two at a time. With the stomping of his feet and the distance between him and the kitchen, he was able to avoid hearing Lupin cry. He made it to the first-floor landing and stopped at his bedroom door when he saw Ron walking out.

"Going to join us," Harry asked.

"Huh?" He was still wearing the dazed look he'd had when he'd left the kitchen.

"Fred and George are going to show me these Puking Pastilles," Harry said.

"Oh. No." He started towards the stairs, Pigwidgeon on his shoulder.

"You can't possibly be thinking of sending pig out in this storm," Harry said. As annoying as the bird was, Harry didn't want to see it killed. Surely even Ron could see how stupid a move it would be to send his owl out right now.

Ron stopped halfway towards the stairs and turned back to Harry with a look of pure spite on his face. He walked back to Harry, his face growing redder the closer he got.

"Do you think I'm stupid," he demanded.

"No," Harry blurted. That had taken a fast turn. "I just—"

"You might have everyone else fooled, but I know what I saw. That ghost that was in our room, it was real," he said, pointing a finger at Harry.

"What?" They seemed to be having two very different conversations.

"Why'd you do it," he asked, his voice cracking. He dropped his hand to his side. "I thought we were friends."

"Ron, I'm not, Dumbledore—"

"DUMBLEDORE WOULD NEVER TELL YOU TO KILL MY MUM!"

Harry took a step back so Ron's face didn't touch his. Then he had to do a double-take as the words Ron had just shouted sunk in.

"What!? I'd never—"

"Didn't like mum's rules? Or her telling Sirius off? Thought you shouldn't be the only one with dead parents!?" His entire body was shaking now.

"I DIDN'T KILL YOUR MOTHER!" How could Ron even think such a thing?

"IF YOU'D TOLD EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT THAT GHOST, THEY COULD HAVE STOPPED IT AND MUM WOULD STILL BE ALIVE!"

He shoved Harry towards the opposite wall. Harry glared at him, his fist clenching. Ron did the same and charged Harry.

The shadow was in front of Harry, its hand palm up held out towards Ron. The redhead didn't even have time to react. He flew through the air, Pigwidgeon abandoning him. Ron's back slammed into the wall with a loud, disgusting crack. Harry watched in horror as Ron fell to the floor, his head thudding against the hard wood. Pig started hooting like crazy and flew off down the stairs.

"RON!" He ran past the shadow and dropped beside him. He tried shaking him, but Ron didn't respond. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

'I'm not taking any risks this time,' the shadow said.

"He didn't do anything!"

'He was going to hit you,' he said simply. 'I don't care how much you like this idiot. No one will harm you.'

"Are you kidding me!? Ron would never hurt me!"

'He just tried to hit you.'

"Yeah, maybe he'd have hit me, but he'd never do anything that deserved anything like this!" Harry put his hand under Ron's nose, his heart slowing a hint when he felt hot breath.

'He's unconscious,' the shadow said. 'It's not like I killed him.'

He turned towards the shadow hardly able to contain his anger.

"What about Mrs. Weasley?"

'Are you actually going to believe this idiot?' He sounded surprised.

"Did you kill Mrs. Weasley," he demanded.

'So, after everything I've done for you, you're going to choose him.' He stared at Harry.

"Just answer my question!"

'No.' Without another word, the shadow evaporated.

'If you—'. "Argh!" Harry doubled over, his own words assaulting him inside his mind. He felt something pop and suddenly there were people around him. Lupin had grabbed Ron already and was running into the bedroom with him. The other Weasley children followed. Hermione glanced at Harry before dashing into the room herself.

"Harry!"

Harry blinked at his godfather. Sirius was shaking him hard, a look of terror on his face. All of Harry's senses came rushing back to him at once. He could hear the yelling in the bedroom, could feel the floor beneath him, hear the rain hitting the windows.

"I'm so sorry," he groaned. Once again he found himself in Sirius's embrace. His godfather was so warm.

"What happened," he asked soothingly.

"The shadow…" Anger ripped through him and he pulled back just enough to start fumbling with the necklace underneath his shirt. He pulled it off and threw it as hard as he could. It hit the wall, ricocheted onto the floor, and flew down the steps, landing somewhere with a loud thud.

"Why would it go after Ron?"

"Because he tried to hit me," Harry said. That still didn't justify the shadow trying to kill his best friend. To his horror, he was already looking towards the steps. "Dumbledore needs to take the necklace."

"He's okay," Lupin said, walking out of the room. He shut the door. "Angry, but awake. He said you sent a ghost after him." He raised an eyebrow at Harry.

"No! He...Ron thinks the shadow killed Mrs. Weasley. He said it was my fault she died. He tried to hit me, and the shadow did something and threw him against the wall."

Lupin crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Did it?"

"I, I don't know... I asked him and he got mad and left." The all too familiar loneliness was already beginning to invade his mind. "You need to send it back to Dumbledore."

"As much as we'd like to, Dumbledore made it very clear that wasn't an option," Lupin said. He followed Harry's line of sight and went to the edge of the steps. Sighing he knelt and picked the necklace up from wherever it had landed.

"Why not!?" He couldn't keep this thing around. It had attacked Ron, had attacked himself. As much as he wanted it, he knew it had to go.

"I wanted that thing out of number twelve the second it hurt you, but Dumbledore said if the necklace was too far from you right now, it could drive you mad," Sirius said, his annoyance evident.

"You don't have to wear it," Lupin said, approaching Harry. "But it can't leave number twelve."

"I don't want it near Ron," Harry said.

"Well, Ron doesn't want to be near you or the necklace right now." He stopped in front of Harry. "I thought it best if we move you to another room. You can lock the necklace up in your truck or somewhere else in there."

"I'd rather smash it."

"Unfortunately, that's not an option. We have an empty room on the second floor. Brand new since we've been adding rooms to accommodate all the members. You can stay there until school starts."

That's not what Harry wanted to hear. He wanted the necklace out of number twelve before he succumbed to its beckoning call again. He knew it would happen and it wouldn't take long. The sway the necklace held over him was too powerful. But if Dumbledore was right and destroying it would drive him mad, he didn't exactly have a choice.

"Okay…"

**(TBC)**


	12. The Unimaginable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had already started twelve before I even finished editing chapter eleven. Hoping that’s a good sign. Also, I give. Chapter 12 is going to be self-indulgent. Maybe it’ll be okay that way. It wasn’t.  
Warnings: This story is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever you dub it, that’s what it is. Tom/Harry Harry/Tom Sirius/Remus Remus/Sirius  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

_I'm so pathetic!_ Harry screamed at himself. Try as he might, and he'd tried hard, he couldn't do it. He slid off the bed yet again in his new room and stomped over to his closet for the sixth time that night. He jerked the door open and glared at the bedside table he'd shoved into it with as much anger and hatred as he could. It stared back at him as innocently as a bedside table could, which turned out to be not that innocent. Each time Harry had opened the door and met with the cursed container, it taunted him to open its drawer.

_Why!?_

Ron was his best friend. He was a Gryffindor! He was supposed to be loyal, especially to his friends. Ron was making it rather difficult at the moment, but he understood that Ron was grieving and needed someone to blame. Once things settled down, he'd come to his senses and things would go back to normal. He wouldn't accuse Harry of things he did not know of or try to hit him. Maybe they could have a proper conversation along the way too because they'd yet to have one since they'd gone home on the Hogwarts Express at the start of the summer holiday.

None of that would happen though if he kept the necklace around. The shadow inside the pendant was too dangerous to have, even if it had just been trying to keep Harry safe. And part of him just didn't want to face reality, or at least not let anyone else know the truth. He was mad at the shadow for throwing Ron; it was too extreme of a response for Ron's attempted attack. But the longer he'd lied alone on his bed, he realized he was angrier that the shadow hadn't answered him about Mrs. Weasley. He didn't think the shadow had killed her, but there was always that chance and he wanted to hear him say he hadn't done it.

_I should have trusted him_. The shadow seemed determined to keep him safe, and Mrs. Weasley hadn't been a threat. Not that he knew of, anyway.

Growling, he ripped the drawer open so hard it stopped by millimeters from crashing out onto the floor. He snatched the necklace out and held it up. His anger faltering each time he saw the dent in the pendant's top left side and this time being no different. The pendant looked and felt dead. More so than when he'd thought he'd killed it. Somehow seeing that dent made the throw seem fatal. Like the shadow had cracked its skull on the stairs. Not that the shadow had bones.

_Did it?_

Now wasn't the time to worry about that. "You should have just answered me," he hissed at the pendant. "I just wanted to hear you say you didn't do it!" Because no matter how much he denied it, his common sense told him that it was possible that the shadow might have done it. And if he had done it, Harry couldn't forgive him. But there was no proof, no reason. But hadn't the shadow been gone the whole day Mrs. Weasley was killed? So, there was a chance….

"No…" Lupin had said Mrs. Weasley had died early in the morning, around nine. Hadn't he been talking to the shadow in the kitchen around that time? He wanted to believe that was true, but he hadn't checked any of the clocks when they'd been talking. He hadn't thought his necklace would need an alibi, ever. Most jewelry didn't, but of course, his necklace always seemed to be the exception to the rule.

But there was still the chance that the shadow hadn't done anything. He'd attacked Ron but hadn't killed him. If the shadow were going to permanently stop someone, wouldn't he kill the person charging at Harry, not the one who'd been out buying groceries to feed him with?

A growl escaped his lips, and he shook the necklace, the pendant swinging back and forth chaotically. Every time he grabbed the stupid thing, his thoughts kept circling like this. He thought the shadow was innocent, but perhaps not, but definitely innocent because he should trust the shadow. But the shadow didn't act trustworthy. But he had been trustworthy. He'd kept Harry sane and safe, why shouldn't he trust the shadow now? Because the shadow had lied about being a gift from Dumbledore and who knew what else.

_Because he threw your friend across the hall_, he reminded himself. That should have been all the convincing he needed and yet, he still wanted to defend the shadow. He had never once considered that the shadow might have gone after Mrs. Weasley until Ron had accused him and then he'd thrown his friend into a wall. He growled again and kicked the floor repeatedly, his frustration building. Why. Was. Life. So. Difficult!?

**(X)**

A knock on the door had Harry stirring. At some point, he must have dozed off glaring at the necklace, because it was still in his hand, and he was sitting on the floor with his back resting against the closet door. He wanted to hate the necklace even more now because despite his pleading, the shadow had not come back and told him everything was going to be okay. That he hadn't killed Mrs. Weasley, that he'd accidentally thrown Ron, even though he knew perfectly well that it hadn't been an accident. He could have at least tried to make things right.

"Harry?" Sirius gave another knock.

"Coming!" He scrambled to his feet, chucking the necklace back into the bedside table drawer. He closed the closet as quietly as he could so Sirius wouldn't know he'd been interacting with the pedant. As one-sided as it had been, he felt guilty for any interaction he had with the cursed thing. After all his shouts and demands trying to get Lupin to send the necklace back, he didn't want anyone to see him holding it like a lifeline.

He opened the door and Sirius walked in holding a tray with toast and some orange juice on it.

"Thought this might be a good idea until Ron's calmed down a bit." He set the tray on the bed. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Yeah," Harry said. He sat down on the bed and grabbed a piece of toast from the tray. "Does anyone else think I killed Mrs. Weasley?"

"Of course not," Sirius said. "Ron's just having a hard time dealing with Molly's death."

"Just making sure." He took another bite of toast. "Are the others mad the shadow threw Ron?"

"We told everyone it was an accident. That Ron tried to hit you and with all the stress you've been under, you used wandless magic."

"What?"

"Y'know. When you get so angry you end up using magic without a wand."

"Right." So now there would be another lie going around protecting the shadow and making Ron look utterly mad.

"We told everyone that's what happened before too," Sirius said as if reading his mind. "That you were too embarrassed to admit it, but the dark mass that Ron saw in the bedroom was actually your magic manifesting due to stress."

"I- is that even possible," Harry asked. He knew wandless magic was possible. He'd accidentally blown up his uncle's sister, not to mention the glass that had vanished at the zoo when he was younger. He'd used wandless magic quite a few times in his past, all of which he'd told Ron and Hermione about. Perhaps this would work. "Does he believe it?"

"He's grumbling, but I think he's coming around," Sirius said. He looked around the room. "Where's the bedside table?"

"In the closet," Harry muttered. He nibbled on the toast while Sirius shook his head.

"Listen, some of the Order members are going to Diagon to get everyone's supplies. Did you want anything that isn't on your list?"

"I want to go with," Harry said without thinking. He didn't want to stay trapped inside number twelve with Ron, who probably suspected the shadow was not a manifestation of his powers going haywire. Nor did he want to try to explain to the twins, Hermione, or anyone else, that he was losing his mind when really, he'd just obtained a psychotic necklace that he had no way of controlling.

"You really shouldn't…" Sirius started. "But I'm the last one to talk," he said.

"I didn't…" His stupidity seemed to have no limits. How could he ask his godfather who couldn't leave the house for permission to visit Diagon Alley? Going to Diagon would be extremely risky, possibly even put the Order members that were going in more danger than they'd ever been in if he stayed home, but the idea of remaining in number twelve…

"It's okay," he said, only the look on his face clearly said it wasn't. "I know how hard it is to be stuck in this place." The look that always seemed to make Harry question his godfather's sanity was taking over Sirius's face. "Maybe we can both get out."

"No," Harry said, Sirius's shoulders dropping.

"What do you mean no?"

"It's too dangerous," he said. "We can find something else to do, anything." He was pleading by the time he finished his sentence. "Forget Diagon, I want to…" He looked around the room, his window. The rain had stopped. "I want to rip out the backyard," he blurted out.

"Wh, what? Why?" Sirius was staring at him as if he'd gone mad. Maybe he had, but if it kept his godfather inside number twelve, so be it.

"Why not? The backyard is part of the house, right? No one can see us back there?"

"No, but—"

"So why shouldn't we rip it up," Harry asked quickly. If he kept answering fast enough, maybe his godfather wouldn't be able to come up with some kind of excuse. "Lupin said you wanted everything ripped out and redone, so it would be a completely different house, right?"

"I did, but how does ripping up the backyard help the Order?"

_Running off to Diagon doesn't help them either,_ Harry thought.

"We can plant stuff," Harry said. "Potion stuff, healing ingredients. Mrs. Weasley had a garden with vegetables," he went on naming everything he could think of as soon as it crossed his mind. Ron was hurt, because of him. Mrs. Weasley may have been killed, because of him. There was an unknown student from Hogwarts he'd stolen the necklace from and hurt. He refused to add Sirius to that list. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

"The necklace is inside the closet right," Sirius asked uneasily. "You didn't chuck it out the window or anything?"

"No," Harry said, his face darkening. "I wanted to. Why?"

"Because you've gone mad," Sirius muttered, getting to his feet. "Who'd want to mess around in the backyard instead of going to Diagon?"

Harry grabbed the other piece of toast off the tray, crammed it into his mouth, and walked over to his trunk. He opened it and started going through his things, Sirius watching him from the bed. He found the old and torn t-shirt he usually wore when he worked in the garden at the Dursleys and dropped it onto the foot of his bed. He had to search a little harder to find his jeans with all the holes in it. After finding a pair of socks to go with his outfit, he left the room with his clothes.

"You can't be serious," Sirius called after him. "Diagon is loads more fun than the backyard!" He rushed after Harry, while the Gryffindor tried to find the bathroom. "The backyard will be there tomorrow," Sirius protested. "We can go to Diagon today and destroy the yard tomorrow!"

"Just have them bring back pamphlets and we'll order stuff together," Harry said, his godfather stopping.

"Pamphlets," Sirius asked. His face paled, and he looked like he might throw up. "That's not nearly as fun as going in person!"

"If I go to Diagon, I have to take the necklace," he said. He hated lying to Sirius like this, but Lupin would kill him if Sirius ended up in Diagon because of him, and he really liked Lupin and wanted their relationship to remain good. "I can't control it here," he whispered. "What if it attacks someone in Diagon?" He'd said those words to get Sirius to change his mind, but that it was the truth made him uneasy.

Sirius furrowed his brow and frowned.

"I didn't think about that," he said. He let out a lengthy sigh. "Okay. I'll have them bring back the pamphlets."

Harry hated to see the dead look slowly crawling back into his godfather's eyes.

"Why don't we make a section to grow the stuff Lupin needs for that new potion he's using," he suggested.

Sirius' eyes flicked to Harry.

"He might like that… said some of the stuff isn't easy to find…"

"Add some gardening books onto the list. Have whoever's going to order some of the plants we need. They can send it to the subway station to the locker Lupin's renting."

"You really want to do this, don't you?"

Hardly, but it was better than the alternative. Sirius could not go to Diagon and Harry really shouldn't either. He didn't feel like being inside trying to deal with everyone else. They were all probably terrified of him anyway if they thought his powers were spiraling out of control.

_No worries, just my life spiraling, not my powers,_ he thought, shaking his head. How had he ended up in this situation?

"You could show me some defense stuff too," Harry suggested.

That seemed to be the last thing Sirius needed to hear. A grin spread onto his face and he slapped Harry hard on the back as he walked by. Harry winced trying hard to remain standing and not drop his clothes.

"I'll go change," he said happily.

"Great," he called after his godfather. _Okay, I got him to ditch wanting to go to Diagon. Now…_ Now he'd just gotten himself into an entire backyard makeover and he didn't know the first thing about building gardens or making a yard look presentable. His Aunt Petunia had already made the garden before he'd arrived at Privet Drive. His duties had included pulling weeds and watering. Sometimes his aunt made him dig a hole so she could plant a new flower or bush, but that was the extent of it. His aunt always measured out the distances the plants needed to be from one another, and she was in charge of mixing the fertilizer. She'd told him exactly where to put the dividers and small fences to make sure nothing strangled each other.

Harry went into the bathroom and changed into his old clothes. He went down the stairs, grabbed his shoes, and picked them up. Harry was not about to get yelled at for wearing his shoes inside, not when he'd been helping them clean the inside of twelve and knew that every centimeter of clean was sacred. So, he carried them into the kitchen and went straight for the backdoor.

"Harry?" Harry turned, Lupin meeting his gaze, eyebrow raised. "Where are you going," he asked trying not to laugh. "And what are you wearing?"

"Eh… Sirius and I decided to do the backyard today," he said. It was then that he noticed the Weasley children at the table. Fred and George were laughing, no doubt at his clothes, and Ginny looked stunned. Luckily, Ron was not present.

"Really? I suggested that the other day, and he growled at me."

Harry couldn't explain to Lupin that he'd had no choice, but to convince Sirius that redoing the backyard was the best thing ever with the Weasley children behind him.

"I, er. I _had_ to," he said, emphasizing the word had. "I told him to give a list to whoever's going to _Diagon Alley_ to get the stuff we're going to need to start a potion's garden."

A light flicked on in Lupin's eyes. "That's a great idea," he said wearing the fakest smile Harry had ever seen on him. "It's not a huge backyard, but it has a lot of potential. I bet we could use it for a lot of things back there."

Sirius entered the kitchen, looking somewhat put off.

"Why are you talking so loud," he asked Lupin.

"I'm just so happy you decided to help Harry with the backyard! I really wanted to plant some stuff back there, but I didn't have time to do it myself," he said quickly.

_He's good_, Harry thought.

"Y, you didn't say that," Sirius said, his face paling. "You told me the other day it'd be good for me to get fresh air, not that you wanted a garden!"

"Sirius, if I'm going to force you to do something, it won't have anything to do with a garden."

Sirius' face turned red. "We'll have everything ripped out and ready to plant in the next few days."

"You think you can do it that fast," Lupin asked. Harry could just hear the challenge in Lupin's words.

"Of course," Sirius snapped. "I could have it finished by tomorrow if it doesn't rain," he said confidently. "Just add the stuff you need for the potion onto the list, okay?"

Lupin smiled and gave Sirius a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you."

"Come on Harry." Sirius turned and almost stumbled out of the kitchen with Harry next to him. He shut the door, took one look at the backyard, and sat down on the cement slab: his enthusiasm gone. "Manipulative werewolf," he muttered.

"Huh?"

"I'm not stupid. I know you're both trying to keep me from wanting to go to Diagon." He stretched his arms out. "I appreciate it, really. You chose to come out here and handle this instead of trying to convince the Order to let you go to Diagon and I know Remus wants the yard cleaned, but Come on, look at this place." He motioned to the yard.

Harry did look now, his heart sinking. The backyard was a disaster zone of weeds reaching to Harry's waist. Two enormous trees, both dead and threatening to fall onto number twelve at a moment's notice hunched in the yard, one on each side. How they'd survived the storm yesterday, Harry didn't know. He was positive he could see something running through the grass and possibly laughing.

The fence's paint had all but dissolved, its wood covered in mold. The only spots that didn't have weeds were three mounds of dirt in a spot that wasn't getting any sunlight. Ivy clung to every inch of the back of the house and looked like the vines were choking it. Some of the bricks from the house scattered the ground, at least where the weeds were short enough to see them. He had a feeling there were more hidden amongst the grass, and probably a trove of unknown objects, and he hoped he wasn't the one who found them.

"… Is it safe," he asked, feeling the urge to go running back into number twelve.

"Who knows," Sirius said. A distinct click from behind let them know they'd been locked outside. "Guess we better hope so." He let out another sign before standing back up. "You brought your wand out, right?"

"No," Harry said, frowning. "I'm underage."

"You can use underage magic here," Sirius said. "Thanks to the charms on this place the Ministry can't detect anything we do here."

"… Think Lupin would be nice enough to shove my wand through the window?"

"Maybe," Sirius said. He gave the yard yet another look and removed his wand. "I guess the sooner we get this done, the better." Sirius snapped his wand toward number twelve. "_Accio_!" Harry's wand came flying towards them. Sirius caught it and handed it to Harry. "You know how to use a shield charm?"

"Yeah."

"Good. We're going to do this the easy way." He walked over to the closet set of weeds and pointed his wand at them. "Just try and not let the house catch fire."

"Wait, what?!"

"_Incendio_!" Flames shot out of his wand. The fire flickered and died before managing to burn anything. "Why didn't it work? I used to do this all the time!" He stared down at his wand and gave it a few shakes.

Harry leaned against the house and dropped his head onto it, his breath coming out in gasps, his eyes wide. What was his godfather thinking? He could have killed them all!

"Has everyone lost their minds," Harry whispered. Thank Merlin it had rained so thoroughly the day of before. When he managed to compose himself, he turned around, Sirius looking at him, obviously amused.

"Got you," he grinned. Harry stared at his godfather, not sure of anything anymore. "Give me some credit, I know not to burn the house down," Sirius said. "Not when my parents have already left and died." He continued to laugh as he raised his wand again. "_Diffindo_!" The patch of weeds Sirius had aimed at fell away in a ruler-straight line. "You know this spell, right?"

"Yeah." Only, the few times he had used it his cuts had never been so straight. "How did you manage to cut it so evenly?"

"Practice, focus. Used it a few times in some pranks. More in some fights." He swiped his wand, more weeds falling to the ground.

"Fights?"

"Any spell can be turned into a weapon, you just have to know how to use it as one," Sirius explained. "With enough control, you can cut someone's hair, the lawn, or you can dismember an enemy."

Sirius's casual tone over dismembering someone did not ease his growing anxiety. "But we're starting with grass and straight lines, right?"

"Yeah. You can work with the yard. I'll get rid of the ivy trying to eat the house."

**(X)**

Harry lied inside the tub his brain only working enough to let him know he hurt. His entire body was throbbing, far worse than it had before he'd gone to sleep the night before. Somehow all the magic he'd used had taken more of a toll than if he'd cleaned, if that's what you could call it, the yard physically. They'd spent hours in the backyard, Sirius having Harry cut away the weeds layer by layer until he could almost manage a straight line.

He sighed, sank into the water until it reached just above his mouth, and closed his eyes. They'd worked hard, and yet there was still so much left to do. Sirius had gotten the ivy off the house and the lawn they'd found underneath the weeds was short enough for them to walk on now. The giggling had turned out to be a clan of gnomes. Sirius had wasted no time in throwing them into the air and using his wand to send them flying. Somewhere along the line, they'd uncovered a broken garden bench, a crumbling birdbath, and some wooden structure that may or may not have been a torture device. Most of it had dissolved or something because only what they thought might be the legs were left and those pieces of wood had rusted shackles attached to them.

_Just what kind of people were Sirius's parents?_ Sirius had said they were dark wizards, but he hadn't thought that dark. The hot water relaxed his muscles, but he knew he was on a time limit. Knowing he was going to be cringing in a second, he leapt out of the tub all at once. The cold air hit his body immediately, every muscle tightening and undoing all the benefits the hot water had just given him. He dried himself off and pulled on the black robes Lupin had left in his room that morning. The new robe felt stiff and looked too formal for his liking, but Mrs. Weasley would have approved. She would want everyone to look their best for her send-off.

There was no point in trying to tame his hair, so he left the bathroom and went back into his room. The bed looked so inviting considering his lack of sleep. How he hadn't been able to sleep after all the yard work was beyond him. He'd been sure being so worn out that all he'd need was food and a bath to sleep through the night. That had been somewhat true. He'd staggered into the kitchen covered in dirt and scratches, Sirius looking just as bad. Tonks had burst into a fit of laughter upon seeing them. They'd cleaned up, had dinner, and Harry had gone straight to his room and collapsed onto the bed.

He slept maybe three full hours before something caused him to stir. He thought maybe the shadow had been walking around, but when he lit the candle in the room, it was empty. The rest of his night played out as it had the night before, a fitful evening of waking and sleeping until finally he'd grabbed the necklace and climbed into bed with it. For whatever reason, it worked, and he managed to sleep the rest of the morning until Lupin had woken him up around seven to get ready.

According to his watch, he had little under half an hour before Lupin would drag him out of his room. He dropped onto the bed, his eyes falling onto the necklace he'd left on his pillow. The self-contempt he was beginning to associate with the cursed thing followed. Just how long did he need to keep the stupid thing, anyway? When was he allowed to get rid of it without losing his mind, and where in the hell was the shadow? Scowling, he lifted the necklace up.

"You are a drug," he growled at it. It showed no signs of answering, which only angered him more. "Do your job and answer me!"

The necklace shot out of his hand and landed in the corner, Harry jerking up. He looked around the room expecting to see the shadow standing close by, his eyes narrowed at him, but the room was still empty.

Slowly, he climbed off the bed and moved towards the necklace. He made sure to stay alert in case the shadow tried to ambush him. To his disappointment, he made it to the necklace without anything else happening. He picked it up, frowning as he noticed a second dent further up on the pendant's left side.

Maybe Dumbledore could tell him more at the funeral.

He slipped the necklace on and removed it fast, a gasp coming out. The necklace was freezing. He dropped it back onto the bed and pulled his robe back. Sure enough, there was a red blotch where the pendant had touched the skin on his chest. This made no sense. He touched it with his hand and felt no cold.

"Fine, be that way," he muttered, dropping the necklace into his pocket.

**(X)**

Did all funerals take this long? Harry had been sure with all the rushing that morning that they'd be home by lunch, but it was already nearing eleven and the ceremony hadn't even started yet. He felt horrible for wanting to leave but staying wasn't exactly doing his mental state any good. He moved down the hall, keeping his head down so no one recognized him. What he wouldn't do to be able to go outside. Lupin had warned him already if he so much as opened a window without an Order member nearby that he'd lock Harry in the basement until he went back to school. He knew Lupin wouldn't, but probably best not to push his luck. Lupin was stressed out enough, probably because Sirius was present with a flask of Polyjuice potion in his pocket.

It wasn't easy to avoid running into people either. The hall and every room he'd found so far was packed with relatives and friends, some of them crying, others holding drinks and talking. It looked like there was some kind of deranged party going on and he wanted nothing to do with any of it. Where could a person hide during one of these things? Mrs. Weasley's funeral had a lot of people attending and down the other hall was another funeral going on, that one just as packed. In fact, some of the people were there to attend both funerals. Harry had yet to catch the name of the other deceased, but since the Order hadn't mentioned it, he doubted it was someone he knew.

A door Harry hadn't noticed before swung open on his left, an older wizard leaving. He hardly gave Harry a second look, his head held high as he strode off towards the second funeral.

Taking a chance, Harry poked his head inside. The room was dimly lit, but there were tables and chairs inside and a fridge. Most importantly, it was empty. He closed the door fast and sunk into the first chair he could. He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts, but this still beat having to deal with all the people outside. When the attendees weren't going on about Mrs. Weasley or whoever the other person was, they were noticing Harry was Harry Potter and bombarding him with questions.

He placed his head onto the table and closed his eyes. It seemed even the Wizarding community didn't have much common courtesy. Who cornered a fifteen-year-old at the funeral of his basically adopted mother, to ask him about his scar and whether or not Dumbledore was lying? How was he supposed to know if Dumbledore was lying? He hadn't found the headmaster yet to even ask about his necklace, let alone everything else going on. He also didn't think he should be using Mrs. Weasley's funeral as a way to spread the word that Voldemort had indeed risen. He'd kept his answers to a restrained "I stand by what I said" and "You know my thoughts on the matter."

He cursed, hearing the door open and close. Was ten minutes alone really too much to ask?

"Guess you would be here," the voice said.

"I don't want to be bothered right now," Harry said.

Harry could hear the fridge open and close. "Tired out from all the autograph signings?"

Harry's eyes snapped open just as a water bottle rolled towards his face on the table. He sat up, his eyes narrowing at the person in front of him.

"What are you doing here," he demanded.

"Same reason you are Potter or are you under the impression only your family members can die?"

"Of course not," Harry growled.

There was no doubt in Harry's mind now that the universe had gone mad. Draco pulled a chair out at his table and sat down, a water bottle in his own hands. The Slytherin unscrewed the top and took a drink.

"So Weasley's mother died, huh?"

"Yes," Harry said. "Not that you care."

"One of my cousins died, not that you care," Draco countered. He set the water bottle down on the table.

Harry wasn't sure how to react to that. He didn't care that Draco's cousin had died, but that was beside the point.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" He couldn't start a fight at the funeral, no one would ever forgive him for causing a scene. He wished the shadow were nearby though in case Draco didn't feel the same need to keep things civil.

Draco's face hardened, and he started tapping the water bottle gently against the table.

"Can we be civil for once without it leaving the room?"

_So, the world is ending_, Harry decided. How long before Voldemort came out with a public apology? "Fine," he said, taking the bait. "Everything stays in here."

"A cousin I met once when I was five is dead. My parents paid for the funeral, and they're making sure _everyone _here knows, to show how great they are. My mother has been dragging me around and showing me off like a prized dog, and if my father pointed me out to one more stranger explaining to them I'm the Malfoy heir, I was going to cast unforgivables on everyone in the room."

Harry raised an eyebrow at that. He'd thought Draco liked being dragged around and shown off. He acted like he loved getting attention at school.

"Father actually tried to stop Weasley's mother's funeral this morning, because he didn't want this cousin's sendoff to be stained by a Muggle lover's funeral next to it," he said, a growl creeping into his voice "More like he didn't want his social event spoiled," he laughed and grabbed the water bottle taking another swing from it.

"… Why are you telling me this," Harry asked.

"Who else am I supposed to tell? Crabbe? Goyle? They don't understand," he said his voice soft. "They're too stupid for that."

"But you think I will," Harry asked, choosing his words very carefully. "After everything you've done to my friends and me?"

"Death is death, Potter. Even if we hate each other, that's one thing everyone understands." Draco deflated after that, his body slumping in the chair, his eyes not quite focusing on anything.

"Yeah," Harry said, wondering when Draco had matured so much. Those words were probably the smartest thing Draco Malfoy had ever uttered, at least in front of him. "Some people don't seem to understand what's appropriate for a funeral though."

"No kidding," Draco muttered. "I thought my father was going to have the funeral director arrested for allowing Weasley's mother's funeral to happen today, but when he found out it was more convenient for some of the guests, he dropped it as a favor to them."

Well, if they were going to be honest.

"I'm waiting for Percy to show up with bodyguards and Daily Prophet reporters," Harry said. If Percy showed up for the funeral at all. Fred had told him that Percy hadn't replied to any of the letters Mr. Weasley had sent. Charlie had gone to the Ministry, where he'd been told Percy didn't want to see him. He'd left a message making it very clear that someone had to tell Percy that his mother was dead.

Draco stared at him, the water bottle at his lips. "You're not joking, are you?"

"I wish I was," Harry sighed.

**(TBC)**


	13. The End of a Holiday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what a lot of you are thinking, I swear, there is a method to my madness where this story is concerned.…. Maybe I need a disclaimer letting people know this story wasn't written by a sane person. 
> 
> Warnings: This is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, probably some other words. Sirius/Remus and Harry/ Tom and vice versa.
> 
> Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Silence followed Harry's words. He wasn't sure about Draco and he didn't know exactly where this conversation should go or if it should even be happening at all. It wasn't as simple as they'd been sorted into different houses. Draco's family were Voldemort's followers. They were exactly the type of wizards and witches that Harry and the Order were trying so hard to defeat. They hated anyone who wasn't pureblood, who treated Muggles as a fellow human rather than a slave, anyone without money, to name a few of the lengthy list of requirements. The actual qualifications you had to have to get accepted into their group was beyond insane and left them with very few people to choose from, so they ended up with individuals like Crabbe and Goyle.

But here they were, sitting together like good friends who hadn't seen each other in a while. Only, their conversation was being held in a small room in a funeral home. Away from everyone because their actual friends would skin them if they saw them conversing. And they didn't like each other at all. Why was he here?

"Good thing no one wore their Death Eater uniforms," Draco snickered.

Harry stared at Draco, his eyes widening, and before he knew it, a laugh had escaped his throat quickly turning into a full-blown fit. Draco joined in. Tears streamed down Harry's face. The idea of The Daily Prophet reporters walking in to see a funeral room crowded with people fully donned in their Death Eaters' uniforms was too funny. It would serve the Ministry right. Harry would love to see Fudge try to explain his way out of that one.

"H, how can you say that," he asked in between laughs. Draco's face had turned red from all the laughing and for some reason that made Harry laugh even harder. Did death make people this crazy? Had the two of them losing someone somehow caused the loose screws in their brains to blow up? Harry couldn't see another answer because this was not the Draco Malfoy he knew. _Not that I'm exactly acting the way I usually do_, he realized. He hadn't been acting normal in quite a while, not since Cedric had died.

"Come off it, you know what my parents are like," Draco said. He wiped a few of his tears away and drank from the water bottle he had.

"And you actually trust me not to tell anyone," Harry asked as he got his laughter under control. Since when had they decided to trust one another? Had something happened between them during their fourth year? Had Draco been hiding behind the tree the unknown student had been lying next to as Harry’s backup?

"Not like you could prove it," Draco pointed out.

That was true. Draco would claim he'd been joking, or that Harry was making up another lie to scare the Wizarding Community. He could still tell the Order, but they probably knew already. There was absolutely nothing he could do with this information. Now that they were sitting here alone without the world judging either of them, it turned out Malfoy wasn't the idiot Harry had thought he was.

Regardless, who ratted their parents out like that? And why was Draco acting so normal? In some almost unconscious way, sitting here and talking to him felt familiar. Worrying about Draco's sudden normalness wasn't going to get him anywhere, not when he was acting so off himself. Maybe he'd fallen asleep on the table and was dreaming this, because Draco looked hurt at his words and for the first time, Harry felt bad about that.

"No... The Daily Prophet made sure of that," Harry said, refusing to look Draco in the eyes. _Why…?_ He shouldn't sympathize with Draco on any level, but he couldn't deny the guilt creeping over him either. He wanted to keep talking, wanted their conversation to last because as crazy and weird as this whole situation was, this was the most normal chat he'd had since he'd received the necklace. "I mean, Fudge is lying about Voldemort," he said, Draco flinching at the name. He would never get another chance to speak with Draco like this again and he wanted to make sure they parted on decent terms. Unless it was a dream, and if it were a dream, he needed to find out why he was dreaming about a normal Draco Malfoy.

"Fudge is mad," Draco said when he'd regained his composure. He still looked unsure of himself and tired, Harry realized. There was a weariness in Draco's eyes Harry hadn't noticed at first. "Daily Prophet said as much."

"Huh?" Since when did the Daily Prophet say anything against Fudge?

"You didn't read yesterday's article," Draco asked, looking surprised. "Figured you had that one framed."

"I was stuck gardening all day," Harry said.

"No one mentioned it to you? Figured you and Weasley were having a laugh over that one. I was."

"... I haven't really been getting along with everyone." He said cautiously. He didn't want to tell Draco about the necklace or the shadow, couldn't really if he intended to keep his promise to Dumbledore. Besides, one of the reasons he was enjoying this conversation so much, was that he didn't have to defend himself to Draco every couple of words. The Slytherin knew nothing about his birthday gift or all the hell it'd put him and those near him through within the last few days alone.

Draco studied him. "The front page had an article on Fudge. Amelia Bones, she's the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, requested Fudge go to St. Mungo's to get a mental checkup," he laughed. "They claimed he's fine, but I know for a fact that's a lie. He's been out of his mind since he let that Dementor follow him around for a bodyguard." He got up and grabbed another water bottle from the fridge. "Not that the Daily Prophet is known for telling the truth," he added.

"No kidding." So, the Wizengamot had thought Fudge unstable and forced Fudge to get checked at St. Mungo's. It was the kind of thing he'd have laughed about with Ron if his friend wasn't accusing him of murdering his mother. Or part of it. Why hadn't Sirius or Lupin mentioned it though? Were they having doubts about Harry too?

"Potter?"

"Huh?"

"So, you and Weasley having a lover's spat," Draco asked, slipping back into his chair. "His brothers decide you were better than him or something?" He removed the cap from his drink. "Not that I can blame them."

Harry glared at the Slytherin. They'd been having such a great conversation and now he was acting like he used to. "No," he said flatly.

"Don't tell me he's jealous your name is in the Daily Prophet every day. He knows they're insulting you, right?"

"D- It's nothing like that Malfoy," he said trying to keep his anger in check.

"You must be attention deprived to almost call me by my first name," he said, smirking.

"Y'know, this was kind of fun until you decided to be a git again," Harry snapped. He shoved the chair back roughly and stood up. "You have no idea what I've been dealing with the last few weeks, I don't need your crap added to it."

"Wow, I struck a chord," Draco laughed. "You think my life has been any better? You realize thanks to you there's a resurrected dark lord running around again, right? That my family is doing everything in their power to gain his favor, again?" He no longer looked like he was enjoying himself, his expression clouding over.

"It wasn't like I did it on purpose," Harry screamed. "Cedric and I arrived at the trophy at the same time! And I did everything I could to keep that rat from taking my blood! Do you think I just handed it over!?" His face burned and he wanted to cry at the sudden explosion of emotions he was feeling. The last thing he had ever wanted was for Voldemort to rise, but his ironic life had decided it would be fun to add to his already screwed up achievements. The supposed chosen one had not only taken down the dark lord, he'd brought him back too. "If I could find a way to undo it… I would," he said refusing to look Draco in the eyes.

"I know," Draco said, his voice quiet. "So how are you going to fix it?"

"Fix it," Harry echoed, looking at Draco. "You want me to tell you my plan for getting rid of Voldemort?" They may be having a moment, but Harry hadn't lost his mind. Telling Draco his plan would be like telling Voldemort.

"You don't have to tell me how just tell me you are," Draco said, his eyes almost pleading.

"Of course, I'm going to stop him! I don't know how yet, but Voldemort will die!"

"Good," he whispered as he ran a hand through his hair.

"...What are you after Draco?"

The shocked look and tint of red that covered Draco's face was unnerving. He was sure his face looked similar because he didn't know why he'd called Draco by his first name, but it didn't feel wrong. In fact, it came out smoothly like he'd been calling Draco his first name since they'd met.

The door swung open, both teens snapping their heads towards it. Lupin stood there taking the scene in. He didn't seem to know what to say any more than they did, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he found his voice. "The um ceremony... it's about to start," he said. To Harry's horror, Lupin's face was also turning red, and he refused to look him or Draco in the eyes. "Come on, Harry."

"Right. I'll… see you at school," he blurted out, walking towards the door fast.

"Yeah, see you…."

"Is everything all right," Lupin asked once Harry was out of the room and he'd shut the door.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Harry said. Only it wasn't, not exactly. Draco had accused him of Voldemort's resurrection and then had wanted to know if Harry was still going to fight Voldemort. There was no way Voldemort thought Harry wasn't going to fight him, so why had Draco asked. What good would his answer do for him? "Lupin?" He stopped short of the door where the ceremony was being held.

"Yeah?"

"You and Sirius know I didn't want Voldemort resurrected, right? You know I tried to fight as hard as I could to stop it from happening?" He didn't care if no one else believed him, but he needed Sirius and Lupin to understand. If his godfather and Lupin thought he was at fault, what was the point anymore?

"Who told you it was your fault," Lupin demanded, his hands twitching. "Is that what you and Draco were talking about?"

Harry nodded. It wasn't like Draco was lying. Harry was at fault, he'd been stupid enough to touch the trophy, to let Pettigrew take his blood. He hadn't wanted it to happen, but it had all the same and he had to fix it, because every death, torture, and horrible act that Voldemort committed was now his fault, he just didn't know how. Nothing had even changed since Voldemort had been resurrected, at least not that Harry was aware of, which may have been a lot considering the Order was doing its best to keep everything it could from him. How was he supposed to even guess at how to stop Voldemort if he didn't know where he was or what he was doing?

"Harry," Lupin said, his voice as tired as it had been on their way to the Ministry of Magic for his hearing. "No one blames you for this. Sooner or later, it would have happened," he said, frowning. "We were lucky that he only managed to get your blood from you."

"But—"

"No," Lupin said, his voice firm. It was the same tone he reserved for Sirius when his godfather was attempting to prank someone inside number twelve. "We're not debating this, Harry. The only reason we can fight is that you're still alive. If you need more convincing, then we can talk after the funeral, but for now, your friends need you."

"Ron—"

"Ron is confused and unable to process his mother's death," Lupin snapped. "But you don't give up on someone, just because their mental state is in shreds." His look dared Harry to disagree.

Harry couldn't disagree with that reasoning. That would mean giving up on Sirius. And he'd never give up on his godfather. The problem was Ron wasn't accusing him of carrying the death out directly. He was accusing Harry of letting the dark lord come back and killing his mother after she rejoined the Order. It was a big difference. Or rather, he was accusing him of all that and then the shadow showing up to kill his mother. _Why is this so confusing? _

"Okay," he said quietly.

"Good." Lupin walked into the room then, Harry following behind him. The overwhelming wave of sweetness hit Harry hard. Everywhere he looked, the front of the room had flowers. It was enough to make him gag, but out of sheer determination he didn't. Harry had hoped they'd be sitting in the back row, far from the flowers, but Lupin went straight to the front and stopped at the second bench. He waited for Harry, who grudgingly walked down the aisle and slid into the row. Lupin sat down on his left, effectively blocking Harry in from both sides, because a large witch wearing too much makeup and perfume sat to his right. She kept lifting her handkerchief and moping her face with it and within minutes, it looked like a child had painted on her face while she slept.

Harry was positive this woman had bathed in the perfume and with the scent of the flowers mingling together, it wouldn't be long before he couldn't breathe anymore.

He felt a hard pinch inside his brain, a slight chuckle filling Harry's ears, one he knew all too well.

'What are you doing here,' he asked. The smell of flowers and perfume eased up, relief flooding him. He could at least inhale without choking now.

'I had to see that witch for myself,' he said.

A hand enclosed around Harry's, his eyes darting to his right side. He could feel the shadow's touch but couldn't see him.

'You better hope no one sits on you.'

'You're getting better at this,' he said, amused.

The compliment had his entire spirit doing a dance and his cheeks burning. 'I'm glad you came back…'

'I promised I would never leave you,' he said. 'Not for good anyway.' It was the only warning Harry got before the warmth and comfort he associated with the necklace enveloped him.

**(X)**

"Harry, do you need to talk," Lupin asked.

They'd just gotten back from the funeral. The Weasley family had gone to the Burrow to be alone, and so Harry, Lupin, Hermione, and Sirius had come back to number twelve alone. Once the shadow had given him that burst of warmth, he'd fidgeted through the rest of the funeral. Yes, he was sad Mrs. Weasley was gone. He was just pretty sure the reality of that hadn't quite sunk in yet. He'd seen her casket, had watched them lower her into the ground, but his mind hadn't honed in on any of that. His brain had managed to block all of that out, his attention more directed at the shadow and him holding his hand.

"Nope, I'm good," Harry said quickly. He chucked his shoes off into the corner by the door and ran up the steps, stumbling up the top few when he lost his balance.

"Be careful," Sirius yelled after him.

"Got it," Harry yelled. He ignored the jaunts and curses from the other portraits lining the first-floor hall. Turns out they hadn't been happy about the destruction of their mistress. Oh well. He thought he might have heard Hermione call after him, but he'd spoken to her long enough during the car ride home and while it hadn't been bad, it had been utterly boring. He couldn't hear half of what the shadow had been saying to him, which had resulted in unpleasant feelings from Harry and the shadow and all she seemed worried about was whether or not Harry planned on fixing things with Ron before the term started. He'd reminded her he wasn't the one going around accusing Ron of Murder. If Ron would drop it, he wouldn't hold it against him. She'd seemed satisfied with his answer and then went on to classes and how important O.W.L.S. were and then Harry had had no choice but to tune her out.

He made sure to go up the second set of stairs a tad slower, so he didn't risk killing himself. It'd be pretty sad, not to mention pathetic, if Harry died climbing stairs. He could just see the glee as a Daily Prophet reporter, probably Rita Skeeter just to spite him, typed the headline "Chosen One Dies by Stairs" or "The Boy Who Didn't Live: Thanks to a Staircase.

'You're in a good mood, all things considering.'

An image of the funeral home flashed through Harry's mind, blurry, but there, followed by one of the graveyard.

'Whose fault is that,' he asked. Feelings of embarrassment answered him. 'Everyone probably thinks I'm a heartless prat for smiling during a funeral.' He opened the door to his bedroom and slipped in, making sure the door closed behind him. He gave the knob a few quick shakes, satisfied when it remained locked. ‘Okay.’

A dark mist appeared in the room, small at first. As it spread out and took shape, it grew darker. Soon enough the human form of the shadow was standing next to Harry’s bed.

He glanced around the room. 'What in the hell happened?'

"My trunk blew up," he offered with a shrug before sitting down on his bed. It did indeed look like a bomb had been placed at the bottom of his trunk and sent all its contents flying across the room. Books were spread out, ink bottles toppled, potion ingredients, most still in their containers, in different corners of the room.

'Why is it every time I'm gone for more than a day, your room looks like this,' the shadow demanded. 'You realize you go back tomorrow, right?'

The disbelief in his voice had Harry laughing.

"I know."

'Unbelievable. Living like a common troll,' he sighed. He waved his hand over the mess, the contents of Harry's trunk shooting into the air before they dived in, somehow in perfect order, and the trunk's lid snapped shut.

He did not live like a common troll, but at least his things were cleaned up.

'You really do seem far too happy about my return,' he said wearily.

"You always come back exactly when I need you," he said. "So, umm how does the school year work?" He could feel the shadow's slight confusion. "I mean, with us," he explained.

'You keep the necklace on you, less you feel like going mad. Of which,' he dropped his hand into Harry's pocket, removing the necklace. 'Maybe not destroy this?'

"Deal, but you can't throw people," Harry said.

The shadow considered this, his head tilting to the side just enough to be noticeable. 'What if they deserve it?'

"No," Harry said.

'What if they're trying to kill you,' he pressed.

"Who's going to… right." Plenty of people tried to kill him during the school year. "Okay, if there's no doubt they're trying to kill me," he conceded.

'Fine.' He dropped the necklace over Harry's head and placed the pendant under his robes. 'You need to keep this hidden.'

Harry waited for the cold to bite at his skin, but instead, he felt the familiar warmth. It wasn't as strong as before, but it was still there. "Okay."

**(X)**

"I'm so nervous," Hermione said. She was pacing, the bottom of her shirt beginning to unravel as she fiddled with it with such force.

"What's wrong," Sirius asked, coming down the hall.

"What's wrong," Hermione shrieked. "O.W.L.S.! Prefect duty! Homework! There's not nearly enough time in a day to keep up with everything!"

Harry cringed as soon as he heard Sirius's voice. His godfather had taken another shot of Polyjuice potion so he could come to say goodbye at the train station, but Harry wished he hadn't. The man standing in front of him was not his godfather. It was a short, thin man, with curly light blonde hair, a pushed-up nose and small mismatched lips. Even his voice had been reduced to a low whine rather than his usual baritone.

"I don't like it any better than you do," Lupin said coming up beside Harry. "But if there's one thing Sirius is known for, it's his vanity. No one would suspect him of willingly becoming this ugly." He started counting heads and trunks. "Hermione, I promise if you plan out your schedule, you'll do fine. Where's Fred and George?"

"In the living room," Hermione said. "With Mr. Weasley and Bill," she added.

"Right. And Mad-eye?"

"Kitchen," Sirius grunted.

"Okay, so we're just missing Charlie," Lupin said. "Everyone make sure your trunks are locked. I don't need anyone flipping one over and almost missing the train trying to gather everything back up."

"That happened once," Sirius protested. "And you and James knocked it over!"

"Learned your lesson, didn't you," Lupin asked his eyes dancing, a smirk on his face. Sirius scowled and started towards him, but Lupin stepped back. "Touch me and I will remove your arm and beat you with it."

"Oh! But I thought I was the vain one," Sirius said shooting a glare at his would-be lover. "At least I'm willing to overlook someone's outward appearance!"

Lupin raised an eyebrow, his smirk turning deadly. "Are you saying I'm not good-looking Sirius?"

"You know what I meant!"

"Because I assure you my inward appearance is much uglier than my outside."

"Ugh, help me out Harry," Sirius said turning to his godson.

"I'm not getting into this," Harry muttered, stepping towards Hermione.

'Probably smart.'

"Why do we need so many people anyway," Harry asked.

"Because if you've forgotten, Mrs. Weasley died going grocery shopping, and you-know-who has returned, AND you are his main target," Hermione snapped.

"I thought Voldemort was supposed to be lying low, or are you telling me he's going to jump out from behind a dustbin to try and do me in," he asked and the image alone of that going through his mind made him start laughing. Sirius and Ron's laughter joined his own, and Harry dared to look at the redhead. Their eyes met, Ron's face hinting at a shade of red before he turned away.

_At least it's a start_, he thought. Perhaps now that the funeral had happened Ron would slowly come around.

Charlie entered the hall followed by Mad-eye. Mr. Weasley, the twins, Bill, and Ginny shuffled in behind them.

"All right, we're all here," Lupin said. "Sirius, are you sure you want to do this?" Despite their fight a moment ago, the worry in Lupin's eyes was evident.

"There is no way I'm letting you or Harry go to King's Cross without me."

'They realize the only guard you need is me, right,' the shadow asked.

'I'd rather you not kill everyone that sneezes next to me,' Harry said. A mental image of the shadow rolling its eyes filled his mind.

"How are we getting there anyway," Harry asked.

"Well, the Ministry isn't exactly happy with us," Lupin said. "So, we're walking."

"Walking," Harry repeated. Even when Voldemort hadn't been a present threat, the Ministry had made sure he made it to the train station safely. He didn't expect anything to go wrong, but to think that the Ministry so outright hoped he'd die on his way to the train was a little unsettling.

"Don't just stand there, out," Lupin scolded them.

Harry hadn't even realized Lupin had opened the door. Mr. Weasley walked out first, followed close by Bill and Charlie. The rest of the Weasley children followed, then Mad-eye, Sirius, Harry and Hermione, and Lupin closing their line. They looked utterly ridiculous, all twelve of them huddled together and the students dragging trunks behind them. Muggles would probably mistake them for a group of circus performers heading for their next destination. There were worse things to be mistaken for, but it wasn't high on Harry's 'this is okay' list either.

They trudged down sidewalks, crossed streets, avoided getting run over when the safe to cross light flipped while they were still in the middle of the street. Twenty minutes later they'd made it to the station and Harry had been right. Not a single surprise attack, or any kind of surprise for that matter. It had ended up being quite a boring walk.

Mr. Weasley walked by with Bill and Charlie to the barrier. Charlie went in first with Ginny, Bill entered with Ron, and the twins followed them. It was so strange not to have Mrs. Weasley there sending them off. It wasn't right. Mrs. Weasley should have never….

"I know it'll be hard at first," Sirius said, catching Harry off guard. "But Ron will come around."

"Eh, sure," Harry said.

"The winter holiday will come soon enough. Make sure you write. Every day if you need to."

"I will," he promised. Besides the shadow, he probably wouldn't have anyone else to talk to. Hermione would be making her rounds as prefect and even when she wasn't, she spent more time reading than talking to him. She was also in a different dorm than him. "And thanks for everything," he said, hugging Sirius. It was beyond strange to be hugging his godfather in his form.

"I'll make sure the backyard is cleaned up by the holiday and we can decide what to plant."

"Sounds good."

"Be safe."

"You too. Please don't do anything crazy and drive Lupin mad."

Sirius laughed.

"No promises."

"Come here Harry," Lupin said walking up to them. Sirius released him, and now Lupin was embracing him. This was becoming a strange habit for them, but he was beginning to find it comforting. "I will do everything I can to keep this thing safe, so please look after yourself."

"H, hey," Sirius said.

"I will," Harry promised.

"I know we've told you about a hundred times, but if you need anything, just write." He leaned in closer to Harry. "Professor McGonagall is another Order member. If you need someone fast and can't get to Dumbledore, she's your best choice."

"Got it." It was good to know that McGonagall was on their side. If there was any teacher he wanted backing him up besides Dumbledore, it was definitely her.

"And…" He hesitated a moment. "Maybe give Draco a chance. He's pretty good looking, and he's not a Death Eater. Maybe you can convince him you're worth more to him than Voldemort."

"LUPIN!" Harry pulled back, Lupin laughing hard.

"I mean it. You two looked adorable the other day."

"What did I miss," Sirius demanded, looking from Lupin to Harry.

"It wasn't like that," Harry said, his face burning. "We were just talking!"

"That's a shame. Still, I don't think anyone would hold it against you if you did," he said, winking at Harry.

"I'm getting on the train," he said. "I expected this from Sirius, but not you." He was not having this conversation with Lupin, or anyone for that matter. Not on the train platform with his godfather and thousands of others possibly able to hear them.

'Remus needs to be more careful in what he says,' the shadow said.

'Ignore him. I resurrected a dark lord and got Cedric killed. There's not a single person, Draco or otherwise who's going to date me. I'll be single the rest of my life' he mentally laughed.

Harry could see the shadow staring at him in his mind with feelings of shock and confusion.

"Let me know if you have any requests for the winter holiday. Better to be prepared," Lupin said, smiling.

"Me too," Sirius said. He inched towards Lupin, who glared at him once again before walking off. "Ugh, I can't wait for this to be over," he said turning back to Harry. "He hates this."

"You do look… er… off," Harry offered. He didn't want to hurt his godfather's feelings, but this was definitely one ugly person.

"Only way," he sighed. They exchanged one more hug before he helped Harry get his trunk onto the train.

His godfather looked like he wanted to cry now, and Harry was fast feeling uncomfortable. He couldn't remember ever feeling this sad about leaving for Hogwarts. He wanted to stay with Sirius and Lupin, join the Order and track down Voldemort. To hell with school. What good would returning do, anyway?

The train whistle blew, and Sirius forced a smile.

"If you don't write me at least once a week, I'll break in and track you down," he warned Harry. He turned and went after Lupin.

Loneliness filled Harry as he watched him go. He knew he needed to pull his trunk in the rest of the way, but he didn't really have the will to do so now. The farther Sirius got, the worse his mood felt. Maybe he could just stand by the door the whole trip. Or maybe he could just get off now and walk back to number twelve. He was pretty sure he could find it and more sure that Sirius wouldn't force him to go back to Hogwarts if he risked returning to number twelve.

'Come on.'

With a sigh, Harry jerked his trunk into the train aisle. The whispering started immediately.

_Well, at least my school year is starting off normal_, he mentally growled. He dragged his trunk, his eyes drifting from one compartment to another trying to find an empty one, the words 'he actually came back', 'I can't believe he's not in Azkaban for killing Cedric', and 'did you hear he was cursed? If you get too close, he'll kill you' following him.

He should have expected it, but this was a bit worse than he'd thought it'd be. Red hair caught Harry's attention from inside a compartment. Ron had changed into his robes already, his prefect badge displayed on his puffed-out chest. Hermione was beside him, shaking her head, while Neville gushed over Ron's badge.

'I am not sitting with them.' His anger surprised him and the shadow.

'So, don't.'

"Murderer," a student coughed as they passed Harry.

"Potter?"

Harry looked up, Draco standing a few feet away. His face was scrunched up like he was trying to figure out what exactly Harry was and why he was standing alone in the train's corridor.

"Malfoy."

"Why aren't you…" his voice trailed off, no doubt their conversation from yesterday playing through his mind. "This compartment is empty for now," he said motioning to the compartment he'd just walked out of. "I have to attend a prefect meeting."

"Snape would make you a prefect," Harry growled.

"I'm not forcing you," Draco snapped. "Take the pity or don't," he said slamming the door to the compartment shut. He turned his back on Harry and stormed down the aisle, entering another car.

'Did you two get into a fight yesterday,' the shadow asked curiously.

'Not really,' Harry said. 'Wait, how did you know I was talking to Malfoy yesterday?'

'I'm the one who told him to speak with you.' The door to the compartment slid open. Defeated and with nowhere else to go, Harry walked into it. Tolerating Draco was a better alternative to being called a murderer the entire train ride, even if Draco was a prefect. Had anyone besides him not gotten a prefect badge?

'How do you know Draco,' he asked. He shoved his trunk and then Hedwig in the luggage rack before falling into the seat closest to the window. The shadow took form in the seat beside Harry.

'Is that jealousy I detect?'

'How do you know Draco,' he asked again.

He sighed. 'He's helped me out a few times.'

Harry didn't like this new information. Why was Draco of all people acquainted with the shadow?

'Was he a previous owner,' Harry asked.

'No,' he said blinking, surprise coating his words. 'Two other people have kept this necklace safe and Draco is not one of them.'

The words made Harry feel a little better, his eyes shifting to outside the window, the scenery passing by fast. This was going to be a long school year.

**(TBC)**


	14. The Return to Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, 14? We’re at 14, right? That’s what the document claims, anyway.  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, slash, yaoi, gay, etc. etc. Harry Potter/ Tom Riddle jr. Sirius/Remus.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

"See?" The compartment door slid open, Harry turning from the window to see who'd entered. Thankfully, the shadow had vanished from sight. It would be just his luck for someone to find out about it on the train. "He's here, safe and sound," Draco said, motioning to Harry with both hands, his annoyance obvious. He strode into the compartment and sat down across from Harry.

"Well, you can't blame me for worrying," Hermione snapped at the Slytherin before turning her gaze to Harry. "You know you don't have to stay in here, right?" Her voice gentle now.

"Um, pretty sure I do," Harry said straightening up. "This is the only compartment I won't have to listen to people accusing me of being a murderer." He'd heard it enough when the school term had ended and he'd known people would be saying it when the new term started, but the sheer amount of students accusing him was surprising. There was always that group, usually Malfoy's, that accused him of everything under the sun. But the rest of the student body just ignored him, not wanting to get dragged into his drama one way or another. For once that neutral group that consisted of over half of the student's at Hogwarts had joined in claiming Harry was a murderer. Which was kind of funny when he thought about it because that meant they thought the Daily Prophet was lying just as much as Dumbledore and Harry were.

"Right," she sighed, entering the compartment. She dropped into the seat beside Harry, with a look of irritation. "I tried to get Ron to stop this stupid accusation. We all know you didn't kill Mrs. Weasley." She dropped her forehead into her hand. "He's unbelievably frustrating."

"That's what Weasley's accusing you of," Draco asked letting out a laugh. "Are you kidding me?"

"I wish," Hermione said. She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes, no doubt an attempt to calm down. "I'm going to go keep an eye on Ron. Make sure he doesn't hand out any detentions just for the fun of it…" She did not look like she wanted to go. "Maybe I'll just… stay in here a few more minutes. He can't possibly manage to…" she let out a frustrated sigh and stood up. "I'll check on you later," she mumbled, leaving the compartment.

Harry and Draco watched her go, leaving the two of them alone again. It was good to know that Hermione was trying to keep Ron under control. He really didn't trust Ron's current mental state to be a good prefect. Okay, Ron would probably never be properly mental to be a good prefect.

"So… where're your cronies," Harry asked. He'd expected to walk into the compartment and find Crabbe, Goyle, and maybe even Pansy Parkinson lounging inside. Had they been, he probably wouldn't have stayed. Sitting in the corridor the entire ride would have been better than tolerating those three. He'd expected them to show up later, but they hadn't, which was nice, but surprising. Usually it was impossible to keep the four of them separated.

"Where're yours," Draco countered.

"Well, Hermione left to babysit Ron, and Ron thinks I'm a murderer," Harry said.

"That's not who I meant," he said.

_Does he…?_ Harry frowned. Right. Even the shadow had mentioned knowing Draco already, so why did it surprise him that he was asking about him? Maybe because he didn't want Draco, or anyone really, to know about the shadow? He wanted it to be his little secret like before.

"Resting, I guess," Harry said. "Aren't you worried they won't talk to you anymore?"

"Is that really a bad thing?”

"They've been your friends for years."

"No," Draco said. "Crabbe and Goyle's parents made them associate with me."

"And Pansy?"

"I'm going to patrol for a bit." He didn't sound anymore thrilled then Hermione had when she'd mention babysitting Ron, but he left anyway without another word.

Harry wondered why Draco had shut down at the mention of Pansy. He hoped the shadow wasn't threatening her safety to keep Draco in line.

**(X)**

"Oh, you're still in here," Draco sighed, stepping into the compartment. He shut the door and walked over to the luggage rack, moving Hedwig's cage over, then his own owl's cage, and popped open his trunk.

"And where exactly was I going," Harry asked, watching Draco's every move. The Slytherin knew the situation he was in and all the lies going around the train. He'd be enduring all of that his entire school year. Why would he leave the compartment and jump into the harassment early?

Draco sat down across from Harry, holding a somewhat thick book in his hand. "I thought Hermione had retrieved you," he said, sounding disappointed as he opened the book.

Harry blinked. "You called Hermione by her first name." His day just kept getting weirder.

Draco looked up from the book, eyebrow raised. "And?"

"Since when? You usually call her Granger or Mud-Blood." He was not losing his mind. Draco had terrorized them from the first day of school. He went out of his way to treat them like they were losers. Like he was somehow better than them because he had connections and money or because he was Slytherin. The last thing he seemed capable of doing was flattering them by using their first names.

"Things change," he said, looking back down at his book.

"So, she becomes a prefect and suddenly she's worth calling by her first name?"

Draco looked back up, his eyes narrowing. "You know what, Potter? This is the first time I've ever been able to read on the train to Hogwarts without having to listen to Crabbe and Goyle grunting at each other the whole time! So instead of sitting there trying to piss me off, belt it or go join your "friends" in their compartment so they can try to decide if you killed Cedric or Weasley's mother, or both!"

Harry gaped at him. That was a bit more like the Draco Malfoy he knew, but not quite. The Slytherin he knew from all his previous school years would have cursed him and threw him into the corridor, not give him the alternative to be quiet.

"I didn't kill anyone," Harry said. "I mean...people have died because of me, but not because I've killed them." Not that that was much better. It still meant people were dead and if he hadn't been around, they wouldn't be. Maybe it was better that everyone was putting some distance between themselves and him. He knew fighting together with your friends made you stronger, but what kind of friend were you if you got your friends killed? And for stupid reasons like caring for them or because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time or because Harry just couldn't keep his stupid blood in his body.

"Then let me read in peace," he muttered, lifting the book up. "I have to do patrols every hour anyway, so it's not like you have to look at me much." He flipped the page.

Was Draco going to be a decent person this year? He'd been nice enough to share his compartment with Harry. The shadow had probably made him, but he could have refused. Unless the shadow was threatening him or Pansy, which seemed possibly given Draco's previous reaction.

Whatever the reason, Harry decided it didn't matter. Draco had given him a safe place to hide, at least until he arrived at school. He didn't know what he'd do after though. There was no guarantee his dorm mates would leave him alone. Maybe he could move to an empty dorm so he could spend as much time as he wanted with the shadow.

'You won't need to change rooms,' the shadow chuckled. 'I will see to it that you get your rest and spend plenty of time with you.''

'Okay.' Only it wasn't just about his dorm. He wanted to be able to walk through Hogwarts without people pointing at him and saying awful things about him under their breath. Just once he'd like to return to school without everyone hating him for the first month or so before they found something else to go on about. But, he'd have to take what peace he could get right now.

"Potter, what are you doing?"

Harry looked up from his hands, he hadn't even known he'd been staring at them, to Draco. The Slytherin had a look of worry and annoyance on his face. "Nothing." He'd been talking to the shadow mentally. There was no way Draco could have heard him.

Draco set the book down in the empty seat beside him, the words "Mastering the Basics of Alchemy" in dark red letters sprawled across it. "You're completely dazed out."

"I'm allowed to think," he said defensively. "And why are you staring at me? I thought you were reading."

"You're talking to him and people are going to notice."

"... Does it matter if people see me daze out? The only reason you know I'm having a conversation is because you speak with him too."

"Not like that," Draco said, with what sounded like a hint of disgust. "We talk like everyone else. The last thing I'm doing is letting him into my head."

'Probably a good thing. If there were three minds wrapped up in this mess, we'd all be mad by now,' the shadow snickered.

"W, what?" For some reason, the shadow's words had him laughing.

"I didn't—right." Scowling, Draco stood up. "I'm going to do another patrol. I suggest you practice on communicating without looking like your brain has been removed." He left the compartment, slamming the door shut behind him.

That had been unexpected. 'Is he jealous we can talk like this?'

'No, he'd be horrified if I even suggested it.' Hesitation followed by amusement. 'Actually, he was horrified when I mentioned I was speaking with you this way.' Slight annoyance. 'I probably should have listened to him, but what's done is done,' he sighed.

'... I don't mind talking with you like this. Not now since it doesn't hurt anymore.'

'That's good.' An invisible hand closed around his own. 'Do you trust me?'

'I don't know.' He wanted to, badly. The shadow had stayed with him and helped him all summer. Yes, it had a violent streak, mostly against others, but he was positive he could get him to stop over time. But he couldn't deny the hesitation he felt with him at times. Like after he'd found out it had lied about Dumbledore sending the necklace to him.

'You won't even know what I've done.'

'So, what are you going to do?'

'I want to fix something,' he said. Now Harry could see him. He was sitting next to him, his hand on Harry's cheek.

'Fix what,' he asked, his face burning. Did he want to…?

'I'm going to do this regardless if you give me permission, I merely thought I'd be nice and ask,' he said, his tone one of arrogance.

'Will it hurt anyone?'

'Actually, it will help.'

Harry stared into the shadow's glowing red eyes. 'Promise me, no one gets hurt.'

'I promise.'

He nodded. 'Okay, go ahead.'

Surprise. 'Thank you.' He dropped his forehead against Harry's own and placed his hands on each side of his temples. "Obliviate," he whispered.

**(X)**

"Potter, get up. We're almost at school," Draco said.

Harry opened his eyes and frowned. He felt strange. He grabbed the necklace under his shirt to make sure it was still there and squeezed it.

'It'll be fine. I won't let anyone hurt you.'

'It's not that. I feel dizzy and... off.' He rested his head in his hand. The train still moving was not helping.

'Sorry about that.'

'What did you do? The last thing I remember was you whispering to me.'

"You look pale, you're not going to be sick, are you?"

Harry shook his head slowly and stood up. "No. I don't think so." He watched the robe go over Draco's head and flow down around him. He hadn't really noticed at the funeral, but Draco had grown over the summer. He was leaner and his cheekbones had become more noticeable.

"What," Draco snapped, his cheeks pink.

"Nothing," he said. He couldn't exactly tell Draco he'd suddenly realized how good looking the Slytherin was, because for once, he wasn't being a complete arse.

"Then get your robe on."

Harry opened the top of his trunk and removed a set of robes and pulled them on over his head, nearly killing himself as another wave of dizziness hit him. He grabbed the luggage rack, waiting for the feeling to pass. _What's wrong with me?_ He tried to think if he'd done or ate anything out of the ordinary but came up blank.

"I have to make sure the first years somehow don't get lost between the train and that half-giant of yours standing right outside," Draco said rolling his eyes. "I swear, if a student is too stupid to see him, they don't deserve to be let into Hogwarts." He finished adjusting his robe and the prefect badge he now had attached to it on his chest. With a satisfied look, he opened the compartment door, Crabbe and Goyle waiting. "Grab my stuff and if I so much as see a feather ruffled on my owl or a dent on my trunk, you'll be serving detention for the rest of the month."

"Got it," Crabbe said grinning.

"You can count on us," Goyle said.

"I doubt that," Draco sighed.

The two cronies entered the compartment, their grins fading when they spotted Harry. "What's he doing in here," Goyle asked.

"I had to sit with him, because you two idiots couldn't be quiet," Draco snapped. "I'm sure you can imagine how I feel after having to share a compartment with Potter for the entire ride." He eyed the other two Slytherin who looked beyond terrified. They muttered apologies before grabbing Draco's things from the luggage rack. Surprisingly, they carried Draco's items away with extreme care, Goyle holding the birdcage above his head so none of the students could jostle it. Crabbe hoisted Draco's trunk up with a grunt and carried it out, screaming at a few students to move when they came close to it.

"I don't even know where to start with that," Harry said. It must be nice to have servants. "Who's carrying their things?"

"I don't know, and I don't care."

"Wait," Harry said just as Draco was about to leave.

"What?"

"Are we actually going to be on… neutral terms," he asked. "Or is this it?"

"Depends on you, Potter." Without explaining further, Draco stepped out of the compartment.

_That didn't answer my question_, Harry growled. Draco had acted like they were still enemies when Crabbe and Goyle had shown up, so walking up to the Slytherin and starting a conversation probably wasn't what Draco had in mind. He could have just said so though.

He removed his trunk and Hedwig from the luggage rack and leaned against the door, watching the other students file out of the train. There were so many new ones mixed in with the familiar faces and he found it surprising how small they looked.

'Are you going to spend your whole school year inside the train,' the shadow asked.

'No,' Harry said. 'I…' Frowning, he realized nothing was going to get better. It didn't matter if he left now or a month from now, everyone was going to continue treating him like he didn't belong. He opened the door and stepped out into the corridor after the line thinned. 'I'm on edge.'

'Just relax. You'll fall into a routine soon enough. None of these students matter.'

'Right.'

Once he was off the train, he started scouting the area for Hagrid. He could use a friendly talk before heading to the castle. Hagrid wasn't in his usual spot collecting first years though. Instead, Professor Grubby-plank was there, herding the new students into a group.

Well, this year was starting off horribly different. Sirius and Remus had seen him off instead of Mrs. Weasley. He'd sat with Draco on the train instead of Ron and Hermione and now there was no Hagrid waiting for him off the train. Nothing was right anymore.

'I feel like I need to try the day over.'

'Things constantly change,' the shadow said.

'What if Hagrid's hurt,' he demanded. 'Or he quit? I might never see him again!'

'I promise you; Hagrid is fine.'

Harry felt a gentle push on his back, directing him towards the carriages. 'You know where he is?'

'I do so stop worrying.'

'Where?'

'I can't tell you.'

'Since when,' Harry asked, starting to get angry. 'Isn't answering questions your primary function? Not to mention I tell you everything,'

'I do not live to answer your questions,' the shadow said angrily. 'It's Order business. When he gets back, you can ask him all about it.'

'So now you're going to withhold information from me too?' Why wasn't the shadow answering his questions anymore? Come to think of it, the shadow had stopped answering everything when Dumbledore had taken it into another room. What was the point of having a know it all pendant if it didn't answer the questions you asked it? He should have just bought a Muggle eight ball. At least they didn't get moody like this or throw people into walls.

'You were so much easier to deal with at the Muggle's house,' the shadow sighed.

'Well, excuse me for being as difficult as you are,' Harry countered. He found an empty carriage by complete luck and froze in front of it. 'What….?' He didn't know if he should run or remain unmoving in hopes that the creatures in front of him would ignore him. The horse, or maybe what had used to be a horse, was hitched to the carriage, and pawing at the ground. Only it wasn't exactly alive or shouldn't have been. The creature was malnourished beyond anything Harry had ever witnessed, not a single muscle or ounce of fat on it. Its skin was pulled tight and showed every bit of bone beneath, bat-like wings extruding from its back. And if that wasn't bad enough, its eyes were pure white and gave off an odd glow.

'It's a Thestral,' the shadow said, it's voice calm again.

'Is it dangerous?'

'They've been fed.' Another push moved Harry away from the creature and towards the carriage door.

'Why isn't anyone else freaking out about them?' He was fast beginning to think he was seeing things. Surely the other students, at least the first years, would be pointing and letting out a few screams if they'd noticed them.

'Because not everyone can see them.'

'So, I am losing my mind,' he groaned. It was really only a matter of time, he'd known that, but it could have happened before he got on the train.

'No.' Harry's luggage rose into the air and flew into the carriage, the Gryffindor watching numbly. 'It's because you saw Cedric die.' Another shove had Harry in the carriage.

His stomach sank as he sat down. So, everything and everyone around him was going to make sure he never healed from the death he'd witnessed. 'Anything else I'm going to see or hear now, because of Cedric's death?'

'Not here.’

Well, that was just great. It wasn't bad enough that his mental state had warped after seeing Cedric died, no, now he was privy to a host of secret creatures, sights, and possibly sounds all thanks to seeing a single death. A death he hadn't even carried out.

The door to the carriage opened, a girl with platinum blonde hair poking her head in. "Do you mind?" She looked him over, the dreamy look in her eyes taking on a more serious one. "You're Harry Potter."

"I am," he said, not knowing what else to say.

"Harry? Luna just go in; it's starting to rain."

"If you're sure." The girl named Luna climbed in, her Dirigible plum earrings swinging back and forth. As soon as she sat down with her things, Ginny appeared.

"Thanks," Ginny said, sitting down next to Harry.

"No problem," Harry said, looking back and forth between the two. "Are you guys sure you want to be seen with me?"

Luna raised an eyebrow, her already surprised expression somehow growing. Something dawned on her then because her lips broke into a smile. "Oh, because you're a killer?"

Harry frowned at how matter of fact the girl had just said that. "Yeah," he said, sounding a bit grumpier than he'd intended.

"Ron's just being an arse," Ginny said. "We all know you didn't kill my mum or Cedric."

"Yes," Luna agreed, her voice taking on a dreamy tone to match her eyes. "He'll come around once the shock of the death has passed."

Ginny nodded. "Maybe, he's pretty stupid. Oh, Harry this is my friend Luna Lovegood. She's in Ravenclaw."

"Nice to meet you," Luna said pleasantly. She pulled a magazine out from her robe's pocket, turned it upside down and began to read it.

"Eh…"

"Where did you end up sitting on the train? We thought you'd be with Fred and George," Ginny said. "You could have sat with us, you know. No one believes Ron."

"No one who knows me," Harry corrected her. Everyone else would be writing to their parents after they returned to their dorms to tell them that Harry was a serial killer. Well, at least the Daily Prophet would have something new to write about instead of how crazy Dumbledore and he were. "Did you see Hagrid?"

"No, I didn't," Ginny said. She looked worried now. "I looked, but I didn't see him anywhere."

"Me too…"

They made small talk after that as the carriage continued towards the castle, mostly about Quidditch. Luna didn't talk at all, her eyes remained glued on her magazine. Soon enough they were at the castle and climbing out of the carriages. Harry did another double take at the death incarnate horses.

"You can see them too now, can't you," Luna asked.

"The Thestrals, right," he asked, and she beamed at him.

"Yes, I was surprised when I saw them myself when I first came to Hogwarts."

"Really?" Harry couldn't imagine seeing these creatures his first year and not running off the school grounds, refusing to look back. Maybe if everyone else could see them too, but that was obviously not the case. "Oh, that means…"

"Yes, I saw my mother die when I was nine," she said simply. "One of her experiments went wrong."

Harry's eyes widened at that. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you. You're a nice person Harry. I'm glad I was able to share a carriage with you and Ginny."

"Come on," Ginny said. "Before the speech starts."

Harry trudged into the castle behind the two girls as he took in everything around him. The students who passed by were still whispering about him.

'Is there a spell I can do so I don't have to listen to everyone?’

'There's a spell for everything.’

'Mind sharing that one?'

'Perhaps after the speech and if you swear never to use it to ignore a lecture.'

When they stepped into the Great Hall, Luna left without a word heading straight for the Ravenclaw table. A group of fourth year Gryffindors called Ginny over and Harry stood at the end of the table alone wondering what he should do. Ron and Hermione were still with Neville towards the middle and he almost went over to them. His sanity returned half a second later and he sat down at the very end, alone, with Nearly Headless Nick.

_Still no Hagrid…._

'You're really going to sit down here alone,' the shadow asked.

'Do you have a better idea? You don't understand how the people in this school think. If I go join them, it'll just start an even bigger fight.' He scanned the staff table and sighed when he saw no signs of Hagrid. 'You're sure he's okay?'

'Who?'

'Hagrid!'

'Oh, yeah, he's fine.' He didn't seem worried in the least, and Harry hoped that was truly the case. He wasn't sure he could handle any more people he personally knew dying.

"My fault," Harry heard Ron scream from down the table. He was glaring at Hermione.

"Yes, yours," Hermione yelled back.

He wondered what Ron's sudden outburst was about and decided he'd ask Hermione the first chance he got. Before he had a chance to really dwell on it, he heard the doors to the Great Hall open. Everyone immediately went silent, Professor McGonagall striding in, a stool in one hand, the Sorting Hat in the other. Behind her trailed a large group of fidgeting first years, most of them looking like they wanted to puke or dive under the tables and hide.

Professor McGonagall set the stool down first and then the hat. She took a step back, the Sorting Hat springing to life. It looked at all four tables one by one and let out a huge laugh before starting its song. The song was different from all the other ones. Each year the hat had spoken about the different houses and the traits each one favored, but this time, it was singing of warnings and telling everyone to stand together. Well, that meant they’d managed to convince the Sorting Hat about Voldemort's return. Now if it could just convince everyone else.

'Any chances the Sorting Hat can make everyone believe Voldemort's back?'

'… I don't think so,' the shadow answered laughing.

'Too easy, huh?'

"Yes.'

"When I call your name, you will come sit on the stool," Professor McGonagall called out. The first years began to fidget even more.

'I wonder how many will end up in Gryffindor.'

McGonagall called out to each student one by one. Each house obtained several new students, their fellow housemates cheering for them when the Sorting Hat called out their assigned house. The first year Gryffindors all eyed Harry when they came to the table, all of them making sure to put a great deal of distance between him and themselves. Each time one of them whispered at another new first year to please move down, the shadow snickered.

'You're such a terrifying person,' he joked.

'Yes, I eat any first years that look me in the eye,' he said sarcastically. Maybe if they were scared of him, they wouldn't bother him too much.

"Welcome," Dumbledore's voice boomed across the Great Hall. He was standing, his arms in the air, a large smile on his face. "I have so many things to tell all of you, but for now, let us enjoy our feast!" He sat back down just as rows upon rows of food appeared on all the tables.

'He's so embarrassing,' the shadow sighed.

Harry raised an eyebrow at that. He didn't see how anything Dumbledore did could be considered embarrassing, especially not for the shadow.

'He's just having fun with it. He does this every year.'

'So, I've noticed.' The shadow flickered into view. Not that anyone else seemed capable of seeing him. Harry watched it grab a few pieces of fried chicken and drop it onto a plate.

'… Umm… won't it be weird if someone notices chicken beating eaten by something invisible?’

'It's Hogwarts, who's going to question anything?'

That was true but didn't exactly make it a good idea. He wasn't about to fight though. If the shadow needed to eat to get energy so he could keep going, who was Harry to stop it? He preferred having the shadow around and he'd have no one to talk to if he left.

When the puddings appeared, the shadow seemed far more interested. It examined each one that was near them before settling on two, a small cup filled with layers of blueberries and whipped cream, and a small bowl of chocolate mousse.

Harry settled for his usual treacle tart. He needed something to be normal, even if it was just the food. For the first time Harry could remember, he wanted to go home. He wanted to be at number twelve with Sirius and Lupin, fighting over who'd get to cook and who'd do the dishes. Being at Hogwarts just wasn't what it used to be.

The food vanished from the table. At least this part was almost over. Maybe if he could just make it to tomorrow and start his classes, things wouldn't be so bad.

"My dear, previous students and staff, welcome back for another wonderful school year," Dumbledore started. He stood up as he spoke, all eyes falling on him. "To our new students, welcome, for what will hopefully be the start of many wonderful years to come! We have much to address and I know everyone is tired after that splendid feast, so let's finish this promptly so we may all be in bed and ready for tomorrow's first day of classes."

'Because I haven't heard this before,' the shadow said. It sounded bored.

"First, a reminder to everyone, and I do mean _everyone_, the Forbidden Forest is _Forbidden_ to enter," the headmaster said. He was looking at the Gryffindor table, and Fred and George were both grinning. "Our Care of Magical Creatures class will be taught, for the time being, by our wonderful Professor Grubby-planks." Cheers sounded from the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table that Harry didn't care for. "We also have, yet again, another new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor—" He paused letting the laughs from the students die out before going on. "Yes, yes. Eventually we'll find a professor who will actually stay with us for more than a year," he finished, his eyes dancing with amusement.

'Maybe if he found a proper teacher,' the shadow said.

'Lupin was an excellent teacher,' Harry said without hesitation. Lupin should have never had to leave. 'It's not his fault people treat him like an outcast because he's a werewolf.'

'I wouldn't object to Remus.'

Good. They had better be on the same side when it came to that. If the shadow thought Lupin were a poor Defense teacher, he'd have no choice but to throw the necklace into the lake for the giant squid to play with.

"For now, we have with us, Professor Umbridge, whom I'm sure—"

'WHAT?!'

Harry winced, placing his hands over his ears, which he realized was stupid, because the shadow's voice was inside his head.

'What's wrong,' he managed, a headache beginning to form.

'Umbridge is that woman from the court trial, the one who kept trying to get everyone riled up into believing Fudge's lies. She's a Ministry worker! What in the hell was Dumbledore thinking?!'

Harry was so grateful he couldn't feel the shadow's emotions with his words right now. He could only imagine the rage, because real fire seemed to have erupted in the shadow's eyes.

'He had to have his reasons,' Harry offered. 'It doesn't seem right though. I feel like I should have stayed home and let Sirius teach me.' He didn't like Umbridge either. She reminded him of a poisonous toad trying to hide its toxins inside a hideous pink cardigan. He'd felt the same distaste in the courtroom. She acted innocent but left behind a feeling of danger that he didn't care for. 'A shame they didn't force her to visit St. Mungo's and get a mental check with Fudge. There's no way that place could get away with passing both off as mentally stable and not get a backlash from even mildly intelligent people.'

'Oh, you have far too much confidence in people,' the shadow sighed.

"Now everyone, welcome—"

Harry winced once again, blocking his ears, though this time it was to avoid hearing Umbridge's high pitched girlish voice, not the shadow's scream. Her voice literally made him shudder. How was he supposed to listen to her in class if he couldn't even tolerate her saying hello?

'Did she interrupt Dumbledore,' Harry asked.

'She did,' the shadow growled. He stood up, Harry's eyes widening as he watched the shadow walk towards the staff table.

'W, wait!' He couldn't just run after him and he had no idea if there was a way to use the necklace to make it come back like a recall button or something. 'What are you doing?' Interrupting Dumbledore couldn't be that big of a deal.

The shadow ignored him though, walking purposely forward. Harry noticed Dumbledore's eyes snapping open and jump to Harry, looking at him questioningly. Harry shrugged, feeling somewhat guilty that he couldn't control the thing.

Six feet from the table.

"And I would like to—"

'Dumbledore's seen you.'

Four feet.

Dumbledore jumped back to his feet, looked straight at Harry, and in his loudest voice shouted, "HARRY POTTER!" The room gasped, people looking back and forth at one another and then at Harry trying to figure out what exactly he'd done to make Dumbledore scream at him in the middle of the feast. Umbridge let out a loud yelp, her face red. She turned to say something to Dumbledore, but he ignored her, instead walking towards the Gryffindor table. He grabbed the shadow's forearm and pulled him back towards Harry. "My office, now," he said, his voice grave.

"But I didn't—"

"My office, Harry," he said, leaving no room for debate. He turned back to the gathered students. "You are all dismissed," he told them and then left the hall. The shadow managed to pull his arm away, and Harry heard it cursing inside his mind.

'Did you really have to get me in trouble,' he asked getting up. He didn't need to get a detention before the school term even officially started.

'He's not mad at you,' the shadow growled.

'Pretty sure he is,' Harry said. The whispers turned into murmurers, and he did his best to block them out. Yes, he really needed a do over on his day.

**(TBC)**


	15. A Bad Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this wasn’t a rewrite, I was trying to remain true to, I could have probably cut out the last few chapters. I mean, yeah, I added in stuff to make them relevant to the plot, but… they were just… ugh.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump  
Warning: The story is still shounen-ai, yaoi, gay, slash, harry potter/ tom riddle Sirius/Remus  
Mini warning: Things may be a bit hectic right now. I started work again so updates will be slower but are happening. I already had a talk with one manager and will be talking with two others. My writing is important and I’m not giving it up.

If this wasn't a rewrite, I was trying to remain true to, I could have probably cut out the last few chapters. I mean, yeah, I added in stuff to make them relevant to the plot, but… they were just… ugh.

Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Warning: The story is still shounen-ai, yaoi, gay, slash, harry potter/ tom riddle Sirius/Remus

Mini warning: Things may be a bit hectic right now. I started work again so updates will be slower but are happening. I already had a talk with one manager and will be talking with two others. My writing is important and I'm not giving it up.

Chapter 15: A Bad Evening

This wasn't fair. Not that Harry's life had ever really been fair, but come on. This was pushing it. Dumbledore had to know that he didn't have any control over the shadow. Lupin would have told him about the shadow throwing Ron into a wall. Everyone else knew. Fred and George had sent him a handmade thank-you card a day after it'd happened and if they knew, Dumbledore knew.

Unless Dumbledore thought Harry had ordered the shadow to throw Ron and now believed Harry had ordered the shadow to approach the staff table. If that were the case, would he even believe Harry when he denied being involved?

"I didn—"

"Wait until we are in my office," Dumbledore said, his voice stern.

"Yes sir," he said, dropping his gaze to the floor.

'You're not in trouble.'

'Easy for you to say,' Harry said, glaring at the shadow. At least he was coming with. If he could talk to Draco, he could talk to Dumbledore and _he_ could explain that Harry had nothing to do with his sudden decision to march to the staff table with the possible intention of harming Umbridge. Or had he been after Dumbledore? Not that it mattered, harming any of the staff was wrong and Harry didn't feel like adding to his long growing list of wrongful blame.

They turned the corner; the gargoyle leading to Dumbledore's office coming into view.

Maybe it would be okay. Dumbledore could expel him, and he could go back to number twelve, because if today was of any indication of how the rest of his school year was going to be, he would be more than glad to leave now. Maybe he could try again next year. Sirius and Remus could train him. Surely, between the two of them, Harry could pass all his classes when he came back and even get near perfect marks on all his O.W.L.S.

"The password this year is Fizzing Whizbee," Dumbledore said when they stopped in front of the gargoyle statue. "I have a feeling you'll be in my office quite a lot this year."

"Sir, I—"

"Just a moment longer," Dumbledore said. The staircase grew out of the floor, slowly twisting its way upward like a snake. Dumbledore started up the steps, Harry following along wondering how many times he'd end up on this staircase this year. His gut told him quite a lot.

At the top of the stairs was the single door leading into the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore entered the room and once Harry was inside closed the door. "All right. Go ahead," he said. The sternness in his voice had vanished, replaced with tiredness. He sat down behind his desk, his eyes watching both Harry and the shadow.

"He, It… umm." First sentence, and he'd already screwed up.

Dumbledore smiled. "He is fine. In fact, I'm sure_ he_ prefers it."

"R, right. I didn't ask him to go near the staff table," he said. Explaining this was a tad more difficult than he'd thought it would be. "I can't control it."

"I'd be surprised if you could." He leaned back in his chair, his eyes now fully on the shadow standing beside Harry. "What happened to keeping your existence to a minimum?"

"Only you and Harry could see me," he said, giving a small shrug.

Harry jumped at the sudden verbal response.

"Visible or not, had you gone after anyone, an explanation would have been sought and may have led to you," Dumbledore said, the amusement in his eyes gone. "Dolores Umbridge is here as an act of good faith—"

"For the Ministry, maybe," the shadow snorted. He'd walked away from Harry and went over to Fawkes' perch, the phoenix staring at him curiously. "And as the Defense teacher? What is she going to teach students? How to submit a complaint form to the Ministry? How to kiss Fudge's arse properly?"

"A—" The headmaster stopped himself short. Harry swore he could see the air around Dumbledore vibrating as he forced himself to remain calm. "The school year has not even officially started and yet I've had to cut the beginning of the year speech—"

"That foul toad did it first," he said as if that justified his actions.

Harry felt his cheeks grow warm at the shadow using his animal reference.

"You're already trying to attack her—"

"I owed her from the Ministry."

"You don't even know her and now we'll have to come up with a suitable explanation as to why I had to shout Harry's name out to stop you," Dumbledore said.

"I know she likes Fudge; do I really need an explanation beyond that?" He returned to Harry's side and sat down on the armrest of the chair the Gryffindor was sitting in. "We both know Fudge has gone mad."

"That is not the point," Dumbledore sighed, rubbing his temples. "I am not waging a political battle. I'm simply trying to keep my students safe and make sure they get the best education they can possibly obtain at Hogwarts."

Harry listened to the back and forth, not sure if he should even be in the room. It seemed while the headmaster hadn't sent the necklace to him; they knew each other quite well if he had to guess. Harry didn't think he'd ever heard the headmaster just come out and say what was on his mind. He tended to hide his intentions and thoughts behind a smile. Had Dumbledore been a previous owner?

His heart leapt at that. There was a chance they could at least continue talking, even if someone else had the necklace. That was a relief. Even if the shadow demanded he hand the necklace over to someone, they could still be friends, or whatever this relationship was.

The shadow narrowed his eyes, and for a second Harry thought he was going to attack Dumbledore. Instead he laughed, his form melting into mist and vanishing for the room.

"I knew I should have locked that pendant up," Dumbledore sighed, turning to Harry. "And I apologize for causing you so much unwanted attention tonight."

"It's okay… I didn't know what he was going to do or how to stop it. Is there a way to use the pendant to stop him?" For a magic object like this, surely there was a failsafe or something. The shadow was too smart not to have one.

"You could always stomp on the pendant with your foot," Dumbledore said, standing up.

"W, what?" Something told Harry stepping on the pendant would probably not stop the shadow, but it would bring about an early death for him.

"I was joking," the headmaster said.

"Oh… So, you don't know how to control it either, do you?"

"I'm afraid I am almost in the same boat you are, Harry. I do have a few… advantages," he said. "But I can only imagine how well they'll work."

"If this necklace is so dangerous, why was it even at Hogwarts? And how did it get sent to me?" This was one of the few chances Dumbledore was being open with information and he needed answers. The more he knew about the pendant, the better he could use it, maybe even control it.

Dumbledore shook his head and walked towards the office door. "I'm afraid that is my fault."

Harry made a face at that. "I thought you said you didn't send it to me."

"I did not, but the reason it was at Hogwarts is my fault." The smile that Dumbledore kept on his face to remain elusive reappeared. "One day I will learn my lesson. And I believe this was plenty of drama for the evening. Good night Harry," Dumbledore said opening the door.

"Good night professor." He stepped out onto the staircase, knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere with the headmaster now. He'd try another day. The door shut behind him.

The shadow took form the second the door clicked closed. 'That was close,' he chuckled and started down the stairs.

"Are you mad," Harry asked, chasing after him. "Dumbledore could have separated us!" The gargoyle looked at Harry curiously, hi s face burning. 'At least try to be careful!'

'Dumbledore wouldn't risk you going mad,' the shadow said, his eyes slanted in amusement. 'In this situation, he's powerless.'

Harry frowned at that. Dumbledore was never powerless. Even Voldemort feared Dumbledore and the power he had. There was no way the headmaster couldn't hold his own against a magical object. 'Just don't do anything stupid,' he pleaded. 'I can't do this school year without you.'

The shadow looked at him and slowed down so their paces matched. 'You won't have to. I will be with you for the rest of your life.' He took Harry's hand in his own and held it tight.

'G, good.' He wasn't sure if that was good. Knowing that this dangerous and somewhat mad shadow would be around until he died worried him, slightly. Most of him was glad to hear those words. Knowing that he intended to be with Harry until the very end was comforting. He wouldn't die alone fighting Voldemort. If he was telling the truth. Had he told the other two owners that he'd stay with them until their lives ended? He didn't want to think much about it. The thought of the shadow leaving him, even if they could still talk, was too hard to think about right now.

The halls were empty as they headed for the Gryffindor tower. Not that Harry would have noticed anyone unless they'd screamed at him. Every brain cell he had wouldn't let him move past the fact that the shadow and him were walking down the hall holding hands. He knew he should stop, because the thoughts rushing through his mind right now would lead to nothing.

_But I'm already emotionally attached,_ he sighed. Even if the shadow was incapable of returning his feelings, the way it had kept him at peace at the Dursleys so he wouldn't do something stupid. When it had talked to him at the funeral, or the night it'd taken his candy bar in exchange for letting Harry keeping it up half the night. Those instances made Harry believe the shadow cared for him in its own way and wanted him to be happy, not simply keep him alive.

'Is something wrong?'

'No,' he said, glad that no emotions were flowing between them. He needed to get himself under control. The shadow would laugh at him for being so stupid, falling for a magical object of all things. It didn't matter that it was the only thing that had showed him any concern until he'd arrived at number twelve. It didn't matter that they often slept in the same bed or talked into the early hours of the morning. It wasn't alive. It wasn't capable of caring for Harry.

"Harry?" The shadow stopped, Harry getting held in place when he tried to keep going. "Look at me." When he didn't, the shadow grabbed his chin and forced his eyes to lock with his own. "Are you going to cry?"

"N, no," he said hoping he wasn't lying.

"You look like it." He released Harry's chin and studied him for a second. "I promised to keep you safe," he said, his voice even, and was that a hint of concern? "Dumbledore isn't angry with you."

"No, he's mad at you," Harry laughed and cursed when his voice cracked_. Get it together!_

'I don't have the energy to run through your thoughts right now,' he said, squeezing Harry's hand. 'So, if you don't tell me what's wrong, I won't know until morning.'

"Nothing's wrong," he said, panicked. How could he hide anything from the shadow if he was able to read his mind? He'd suspected as much, but in the end thought he'd been paranoid. That this crazy thing actually had access to his mind was worrying, not that he had anything to hide, except for this moment right now.

The shadow sighed and shook his head. 'Lying to me will get you nowhere.' He gave a gentle tug to Harry's hand, and they began walking again.

_There has to be a way to hide things from him. _He could feel his heartbeat speeding up as they moved closer to the tower. Maybe Hermione knew how? Draco might, but he wouldn't see him again before morning and that was too late. He'd have to risk asking Hermione in the tower. Somehow.

'No one is going to touch you in the dorm,' the shadow said.

For once, the shadow had read the situation wrong.

'I hope not,' he said. Perhaps if he played into the shadow's mistake, it wouldn't feel the need to read his mind? 'I'm not worried about the others, but Ron?'

'Yes, that useless redhead has been known to cause problems,' the shadow growled.

'Maybe I'm overthinking it…' They'd made it the Gryffindor tower and now a new problem presented itself as they stood in front of the portrait. 'I have no idea what the password is.'

'Well, that's one way they can keep you out,' the shadow laughed.

'Not helping.' He glared at the shadow and took his hand back.

'It's Mimbulus Mimbletonia.'

'How do you know that?'

'Because I'm brilliant.'

Harry rolled his eyes at that. Yes, the shadow was brilliant, but did he have to be so arrogant about it?

"I'm waiting," the Portrait of the Fat Lady said.

"Um, Mimbulus Mimbletonia?"

"Correct." The portrait swung forward, revealing the large circular hole that led into the tower. He climbed through and walked into the common room, surprised at how many people were still out and about. He spotted Fred and George first, who grinned at him.

"Harry," Fred shouted, waving at him. He finished smoothing out a piece of paper on the common room's bulletin board and started towards Harry, George close behind. "I didn't see it, what'd you do?"

"Before the term even started," George said, grinning from ear to ear. "You could have let us in on it!"

"Yeah, we'd have definitely helped," Fred said. "Well, we wouldn't have interrupted Dumbledore."

"It was kind of a last-minute decision," Harry said quietly. Not even his own decision, but he couldn't tell them that because Fred and George weren't on the "I know about the shadow's secret existence list."

"After that nasty little thing started talking, right," George asked.

"Yeah."

"Let us in on the next one," Fred said. "We never did have time to show you this summer. What with everything going on and you keeping yourself locked up your room. We have a whole arsenal of items to help," he grinned. "And hey, if anyone gives you any trouble, including Ronnitroll, just let us know."

"Ronnitroll," Harry repeated.

"Well, he's about as smart as a troll right now," George said, shrugging.

"Giving him too much credit," Fred said.

"You're right," George said, pretending to be horrified. "I'll write a letter apologizing to the trolls… think they can read?"

"Thanks guys." It was nice to know that only Ron blamed him for Mrs. Weasley's death.

"Hey, it's our job to help keep everyone at Hogwarts on their toes," Fred grinned. They both patted him hard on the shoulder and rejoined the rest of the happy Gryffindors.

'See, you aren't alone,' the shadow said.

'You're right.' He smiled watching the other Gryffindor's reuniting with friends, laughing, some talking. Perhaps the year wouldn't be as horrible as he'd thought. 'I'm going to get some sleep.'

'Probably for the best. I'd rather you be rested for the first day.'

'Yeah.' There was no telling how difficult the classes were going to be now that they were studying for O.W.L.S. He headed to the steps leading to the boy's dormitory, a few people greeting him as he walked by. Surprised, he greeted them back and continued heading up.

He entered the dorm, frowning when he saw everyone already inside. He'd hoped to get changed and into bed before anyone else so he wouldn't have to deal with them.

"Where have you been," Ron demanded. He'd already changed into his pajamas and for whatever stupid reason, the redhead had pinned his prefect badge to the outside of the curtains hanging around his bed.

_He's just waiting for someone to nick that, _Harry thought, rolling his eyes as he made his way to his bed. If he caught someone doing just that, he wouldn't stop them either. _Might even help them._

"I asked you a question," Ron said.

Harry turned on his supposed friend and glared at him. "You know exactly where I was," he yelled. "Or did you miss Dumbledore screaming out my name during the feast?" The other three boys in the room snickered, Ron's face turning red.

"I'll be checking with Dumbledore in the morning about that," Ron muttered.

"Good, ask him," Harry said, his irritation rising. He'd thought things might be getting a little better since he'd shared a laugh with Ron at number twelve before they'd left. But no, it seemed like having an unlimited number of students backing him up in the belief that he was crazy and possibly a killer had undone all that.

"If you're lying, I'm giving you detention," Ron said. "Can't have you lying to the Gryffindor prefect."

Harry had to let out a slow breath before responding. Maybe he should ask the shadow to throw Ron out the dorm window.

"I'll happily take a detention if it means not having to listen to you," Harry spat. He pulled his pajamas out roughly and removed his robes. It wasn't like he'd even gotten in late. He was getting ready for bed two hours before lights out. He pulled his pajamas on.

"What'd you say," Ron demanded, stomping towards Harry.

Harry glared at him. He knew he wasn't making things better. If he'd just blown Ron off and ignored the verbal attacks, the idiot would still be standing by his own bed. He could only put up with so much, though. 'Can't you shut him up?'

'Really?' The shadow's voice was both surprised and excited.

'Yes.'

Ron stopped in front of Harry, leaned in, and nothing. The stunned expression that followed was the best thing Harry had seen all day. Ron opened his mouth to try to say something again, but nothing came out except air. His face turned a darker shade of red, his fist clenching at his side.

"You're going to get yourself thrown again," Harry said coolly. "And I won't stop it this time." He was done with all of it. If Ron had decided he was a murderer and wanted to make his life a living hell, Harry wasn't about to just let him. Ron's face changed from red to a grayish white. He raised a hand to his throat, his eyes narrowing at Harry.

"What'd you do to him," Neville asked, uneasily.

'Silencing charm.'

"Silencing charm," Harry replied.

"Nonverbal," Neville asked in awe.

"Whispered it," Harry muttered. He wasn't sure what a nonverbal was, but he wasn't going to let anyone think he could do it.

With no voice, Harry had no warning as Ron tackled him to the floor. Ron climbed on top of him, pulling back his fist, and hit Harry in the right eye. Harry’s glass frames broke, the lens shattering. He screamed as small pieces of glass landed inside his eye. The intense burning made it impossible for him to focus on anything. He managed to remove the frames and brought his hand up to his eye, freezing when he felt hot liquid on his eyelids.

The weight on Harry's waist lifted, but it was a minor relief.

'Stop moving!' The words barely even registered in Harry's mind. He knew he wouldn't go blind, that with a bit of magic it wouldn't even be possible to tell that his eye had been shredded with the tiny pieces, but the pain. A warm breeze caressed Harry's cheek, then his entire face. The pain eased up little by little until it faded completely. 'Are you okay?'

'Y, yeah.' Hesitantly, he opened his right eye. He could see just as well as he could before. He lifted his already fixed glasses, probably courtesy of the shadow, and slipped them on, not expecting the scene before him. Ron was on his stomach with his arms behind his back, Dean sitting on them to keep him in place. Neville was holding his wand at Ron, looking particularly terrified, and Seamus was gone, the door to the dorm open.

'I would be only too happy to kill him for you,' the shadow said, turning towards Ron. 'If your dorm mates hadn't grabbed him so fast, I would have turned his skin inside out.'

'Then I would be a murderer,' Harry said, climbing to his feet. He'd known Ron was angry, knew the redhead wanted to fight him, but breaking his glasses on his face was a low blow. Even Harry wouldn't have risked getting glass in someone's eyes unless he was fighting a Death Eater and he had no other choice.

He sat down on his bed, arms wrapping around him from behind. 'I'm sorry I didn't react faster. I didn't think that _thing _would harm you over a silencing charm.'

'It's okay.' Harry was just glad for the hug. He needed it, bad.

Seamus came running back into the room, Professor McGonagall fast on his heels. She took one look at all of them, her nostrils flaring. "What in the world is going on here," she demanded. "Remove yourself at once, Mr. Thomas!"

Dean shrugged and climbed off Ron.

"An explanation, now," she said, looking at each one of them in turn.

"Ron wouldn't stop accusing me of killing his mother," Harry explained. "So, I used a silencing charm on him."

"And," she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"And he got mad, so he hit me. He broke my glasses, and the pieces got into my eye." He could feel the blood drying on his face.

"Of all the," she shot glares at both Harry and Ron. "Both of you come with me!"

'I'm never going to get any sleep,' Harry groaned. He followed Professor McGonagall out of the room, Ron close behind.

"This is completely unacceptable behavior," Professor McGonagall said angrily as they walked down the steps. "Not even the first day of school! And you've already been called to the headmaster's office," she said, glaring at Harry. "And you, Mr. Weasley, a prefect! Attacking another student? Perhaps you don't deserve that badge at all," she yelled, turning her fierce gaze at Ron.

The two of them followed in silence as she ran down a list of all the stupid things, she'd ever seen them do, which was a lot. They'd barely scratched the beginning of that list by the time they arrived at her office. She threw the door open and moved aside for them to go in first.

There was only a single chair in front of Professor McGonagall's desk. A harsh wave of her wand had a second one appearing. She slammed the door shut, her steps threatening to put holes in the stone floor below her. "Sit," she roared at them.

The two Gryffindors sat.

"I have heard enough of this nonsense! Mr. Weasley, you especially know that your mother and Mr. Diggory did not die at the hands of Mr. Potter!"

Ron opened his mouth to yell something, but the shadow's spell was still in effect.

Scowling, Professor McGonagall pointed her wand at Ron's throat. The redhead's eyes shot open. "Now answer me!"

"He cast a silencing charm on me," Ron shouted.

"So, I noticed," McGonagall said drily. "I don't exactly blame him, considering you're going around accusing him of murder." She set her wand down on her desk, eyeing them. "You both are privy to information most of the wizarding community cannot even begin to guess at," she said, her voice calm now. "And even more surprising, you two have been friends for the last five years. What has you so certain that Mr. Potter has killed your mother?"

"Because...He…." he made a face and looked away.

"Because my blood brought back Voldemort," Harry said. In this case, he couldn't deny his fault. "If I'd tried harder to get away or never touched that stupid port key-"

"That has nothing to do with it," Ron yelled. Harry thought he saw a look of surprise in Ron's eyes. "No one can blame you for that! It was a trap! You could have died!"

"Yeah? So, Voldemort getting his powers back and your mum joining the," he stopped seeing the disapproving look on McGonagall's face. "Y'know?"

Ron scrunched his face up. "No! It's that thing you're defending, the ghost! It killed her!"

"Ghost," McGonagall asked.

"It's not a ghost," Harry whispered. "Professor Dumbledore asked me not to talk about it."

"Does this have anything to do with what happened at the feast?"

Harry nodded.

"I see.… Well. I understand your concerns, Mr. Weasley. Your mother died from the killing curse."

"But—

"And from what I understand, ghosts cannot use magic."

"Yeah, but—"

"So how did a ghost, something incapable of magic, cast the killing curse that killed your mother?" She was giving Ron a "it's too late for this crap and how stupid can you be" smiles.

"It just did!"

"I see." Her lips grew thin as she examined Ron.

'This is crazy.'

'A bit.'

'You didn't…?'

'I did not,' the shadow said, his voice firm. 'I already told you I didn't. If you'd like to keep accusing me, however, I could go find someone to kill.'

'Don't you dare!'

"Mr. Potter?"

He snapped back to attention, Professor McGonagall and Ron looking at him with worried expressions. So, Draco had been right. People noticed when he started talking to the shadow.

"Just tired," he said, hoping they wouldn't push the subject further. Not that they could prove anything.

"As no doubt we all are," she said. "Mr. Weasley, you will report to my office tomorrow after your last class for detention—"

"BUT—!"

"No buts. You're lucky I don't have your prefect badge for this." Ron went silent, his eyes filled with hatred. "And Mr. Potter. You'll be coming to my office an hour after class, for your detention."

"What did I do," Harry demanded.

"We do not fight with magic in this school. If you feel the need to do so, join the dueling club." She stood up then. "Now go back to your dorm and if I show much as a hear a single yelp, you'll both be serving detentions for a week!"

They both winced at that.

"Yes Professor," they said together. They stood up and Professor McGonagall opened the door. "Tomorrow starts your training for O.W.L.S. There is no time for this nonsense. And I'm quite disappointed in both of you, fighting when you know what's going on! See to it that this fight ends now!" She slammed the door shut when they were both out.

"School hasn't even started yet," Ron muttered.

"Yeah, I had to deal with Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall already," Harry said.

"…What did you do to make Dumbledore yell at you anyway?"

Harry frowned. He wanted Ron back on his side, or had, before the idiot had gotten glass in his eye. This fight had gone on long enough though, hadn't it? They were supposed to be friends. "Dumbledore talked to you and Hermione, right? About what you saw?" Ron nodded. "Yeah, well, it still doesn't listen."

"Your own fault then," Ron snorted. "You're keeping it around knowing how dangerous it is. That's—"

"It didn't kill your mum," Harry spat, his eyes flashing.

"You don't know that!"

"I trust him," he growled. "More than I do you right now."

They stared each other down, neither one wanting to budge. Ron did first. He shoved Harry towards the wall and stomped off down the hall.

Harry watched him go. He wasn't chasing after Ron, nor was he going to retaliate so close to McGonagall's office. 'Well, I tried.'

'I can still turn his skin inside out.'

'Please don't. No one wants to see that.'

**(X)**

A rustling sound was the first thing Ron noticed. Just audible enough to break into his sleep, but no one else's. When his eyes didn't open, it came again, just a hint louder this time. The redhead frowned, turning over in his bed, no doubt trying to ignore the sudden intrusion on his sleep. Well, if he wouldn't wake up the easy way….

The shadow ripped Ron's blanket off, the redhead's eyes snapping open. He lurched forward; the shadow shoving him back down with one hand.

_Petrificus Totalus_. He smirked as Ron's body went rigid, a look of terror frozen on his face, because at the last second, he'd realized the shadow standing over his bed. Yes, he lived to cause these moments of fear, especially when his victim was someone who'd dared to hurt Harry.

"For some reason, Harry doesn't want you dead," he chuckled. He could see the inner horror in Ron's eyes. He sat down on the bed next to Ron. "I for one, believe you should be skinned, but despite everything, he still considers you a friend." He sighed then. Harry was loyal, too loyal at times, and while he loved it when the Gryffindor showed that loyalty to him, it often did Harry more harm than good.

He smirked then, not that Ron could see his mouth, but he was sure his eyes portrayed it. "I assure you killing someone is within my means, but I did not kill your mother, nor did I have anything to do with it." He held his hand inches from Ron's throat, marveling at the second wave of fear coming off the fool. "You will stop spreading baseless rumors and should you hurt Harry again, I will have no choice, but to arrange an "accident", do you understand?" He undid the jinx around his head and neck muscles so the teen could nod. "Good." He stood up, his eyes never leaving Ron's. "Just keep in mind, the only reason I am not causing you any bodily harm, is because Harry doesn't want you hurt."

_Finite Incantatum_

**(X)**

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

Harry jolted from his sleep, confusion and fear sweeping over him. He scrambled to grab his glasses from his bedside cabinet.

"What's going on," Seamus shouted.

"Lumos!" Neville's face appeared; his wand held up.

"It's only 5 a.m.," Dean groaned.

'What did you do,' Harry asked, irritated. It was too early for this.

'He's alive,' the shadow said innocently.

"Ugh." He could tell Ron was "still alive" given all the screaming coming from his bed. That didn't mean he was "okay", or Harry didn't even know what at this point.

Ron seemed to have run out of breath as the other four approached him. He looked like he'd run a marathon and lost. He was gasping, his face red and he seemed to have kicked his blanket off the bed.

"Ron," Neville asked.

Ron's head snapped towards Neville, the Gryffindor taking a step back.

"You think he's possessed," Dean asked.

"Is that a thing," Harry asked, frowning. Obviously, there was the Imperius Curse, but he was pretty sure there wasn't anyone hiding nearby inside Hogwarts casting Unforgivables on students. Probably.

"I don't know," he said. "You got a better explanation?"

Harry shook his head. He wanted to see the extent of damage the shadow had caused, but talking to Ron would just cause more fighting and he was tired of fighting. What exactly could he say, anyway? Sorry, I really don't care as long as you're not dead. I chose the necklace over you because you've been an arse all summer.

The bad thing was, he knew he shouldn't feel that way, but he did. Between the accusations and the fight, though, he doubted Ron had intentionally got glass into his eye. The yelling, the distrust before the shadow or the necklace had become a factor.

He watched the other three from the side of his bed fuss over Ron, the redhead only grunting from time to time.

'Does he know it was you?'

'Oh yes,' the shadow said, sounding pleased.

Harry sighed, closing his eyes. It seemed Dumbledore was right. He would be spending a lot of time in his office this year. _Just what I needed_. It wouldn't matter if he had friends at this point, because any free time he got was going to go straight to the headmaster or detention, he could just feel it.

**(TBC)**

Okay. Done. Finally. I'm off to do something else now.


	16. The First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I just run into writer’s block with things, even if I shouldn’t.  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever you want to call it.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Sometimes I just run into writer's block with things, even if I shouldn't.

Warnings: It's shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever you want to call it.

Notes: **(X)** is pov change and or time jump

Chapter 16: The First Day

'Why?' It was all Harry could think to ask. He was sure McGonagall was going to be entering the dorm soon, her fierce glare falling on all of them and Harry would end up with another detention, Ron too no doubt, for something like disturbing the peace. And he couldn't get too mad about any of it because he'd been the one to ask the shadow to go after Ron the night before and hadn't told it to stop. How could he expect anything less? The shadow should know he didn't want to spend his entire year in detention though. He'd heard the threat McGonagall had made too. So why? Why had he felt the need to wake Ron up at, he glanced at the clock, frowning, five in the morning? There wasn't even a point in trying to fall back asleep. In an hour they'd all have to struggle out of bed and try to carry on like they'd gotten a full night's rest. And Harry, Harry got the joy of enduring a full day of Ron accusing him of everything from his mother's murder to his attempted murder, because his stupid shadow couldn't stay inside of its stupid pendant!

'So, I'm stupid now,' the shadow asked, both amusement and a hint of rage tinting its words. He was daring Harry to agree with his statement.

'Heartless might be a better word,' Harry said, glaring at the shadow. He couldn't see it, but he could feel the shadow's hand on his own and had a good idea of where he was.

'That's probably true,' the shadow said, the rage gone, only amusement left. 'Plenty of people have said as much.'

He sighed. Everything before now pointed in that direction. For some reason, he'd allowed himself to remain in denial, not just that the pendant truly cared for him, but that it might listen.

'You—' There was surprise and for the first time, the tiniest flash of hurt.

'Just…' He stopped himself, frowning. He could no longer feel the emotions from the shadow, but he'd definitely felt his reaction. He hadn't even thought the shadow could get its feelings hurt. Annoyed, angry, mad, arrogant? Those were things he'd felt from it all the time, but sadness? He hadn't expected that. 'Sorry,'

'Don't be,' it said, pulling his hand away from Harry.

'Wait!' His words hit the mental wall block, and he winced when the energy behind the words came back at him. His hand shot out, and he started feeling around his bed, but the shadow was nowhere. _Shite._

"What are you doing," Neville asked. He was giving Harry an uneasy look.

"I lost something," he muttered. Whether it was just the shadow or his sanity for the year, he wasn't sure yet. No, that wasn't right. He knew that the shadow wouldn't abandon him. They didn't always agree, but the shadow didn't seem capable of ignoring him any more than Harry could him for long periods of time. That was good if he thought about it. They might yell, but after they had time to cool off, they were…? Was friends the right word?

"Keep that thing away from me," Ron snarled.

Harry blinked, looking up, Ron's face inches from his own. "I told you last night, I can't control it," he whispered, his face calm. He wasn't going to panic about this. Ron wasn't physically harmed or dead and he seemed to be as mentally capable as he had the night before. If anything, he should give the shadow a gift for managing such an impressive amount of control. After he came back, of course.

The other three Gryffindors were watching them with worried expressions, no doubt thinking they were going to fight again. Seamus kept looking at the door and Harry hoped if he did try to run off and rat them out again, he'd trip so he could stop him.

"Then give it to someone who can!"

"I can't," Harry growled. And wouldn't even if he could.

"Yeah, sure," Ron snorted. He stormed back over to his bed and climbed into it, his back facing Harry now. He was willing to explain, but if Ron didn't want to listen, why bother talking?

The other three teens relaxed with Ron back in his bed. They gave each other one more round of nervous looks before returning to their own.

Sighing, Harry lay back down, but he already knew he wouldn't be falling back asleep. The only reason he'd drifted off last night was thanks to the shadow. Without him sleeping beside him, his bed felt empty and even a little cold.

He moved his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. Their minor row would probably result in the shadow ignoring him for half the day tops if Harry didn't do anything stupid. He already had detention, so he planned on behaving, so that shouldn't be an issue. The problem was Ron. The shadow and Ron didn't get along. Even if Ron just needed something to blame for his mother's death, Harry needed to get them to agree to some kind of truce.

Harry's alarm went off and he turned on his side, frowning when he saw the time. It seemed he'd fallen asleep. Surprising, but a relief. He climbed out of bed and dug through his truck for clean robes as everyone else's alarms started to go off. He heard Dean groan and Neville mutter something about it being too early. Seamus cursed and Harry was out the door before anyone could say a word. Chances were high if one of his dorm mates even hinted that Ron was right about anything, he wouldn't simply be spending his year in detention, he'd be spending it in Azkaban.

The thought surprised him. When had he gotten so violent? He walked through the common room in a daze, taking note of his surroundings just enough not to run into anyone. Had he always been this willing to harm others or was he just fed up with everything going on around him?

"Harry!"

Hermione ran over to him, looking far too bright-eyed than anyone should on the morning of the first day of school.

"Morning," he yawned.

"Never mind that," she said, grabbing his arm and leading him out of the tower. "What happened last night?"

"Before or after Dumbledore," he asked.

She gave him a displeased look. "Before."

"So... remember what Dumbledore told us to keep quiet about?"

"Yes," she said.

"It was trying to get to the staff table. He doesn't like Umbridge."

"Well no," she said, her anger evident. "Anyone with half a mind wouldn't. The Ministry is forcing its way into Hogwarts." She stopped at the top of the stairs. "She's no more than a spy for Fudge."

That wasn't something Harry had considered. He knew the shadow was mad about Umbridge being there, but he hadn't quite understood why. He didn't remember the entire conversation though. Once the shadow had started speaking out loud and Dumbledore had started sharing his actual thoughts, his mind had gone blank.

"I didn't think of it that way."

She sighed and shook her head. "Let's just hope the curse on the Defense class continues, and she's gone by the end of the year," she said, bitterly. "Hopefully, she doesn't do too much damage. I'll never forgive her or the Ministry if I fail a single O.W.L.," she seethed.

"You don't think the Ministry would purposely make students fail, do you?" If every student failed their O.W.L.S. or a certain subject, parents would talk. When they found out a Witch from the Ministry with no teaching credentials was the cause, there would be a backlash.

"I wouldn't put it past them," she growled. "So," she said, letting out a lengthy breath. "Are you going to sit with us today?"

"Probably not."

"Honestly, would the two of you make up already? Wasn't last year bad enough?"

"He's the one accusing me of killing his mother and... and we got into a fight last night-" he whispered. He might as well tell Hermione his side of the story before Ron poisoned her with his version.

"What!?"

"And this morning…."

"Harry," she said, looking horrified.

"I, okay, I provoked him last night, but I was innocent this morning," he said. "I can't control it."

"What is it," she asked, his eyes darting to his shirt and then away. "Professor Dumbledore didn't go into too much detail."

"It's basically a Magic Eight Ball," he said. "Only it doesn't give you random answers. It's really smart and it can talk, and it throws people like Ron into walls." He added the last part for his own amusement, but Hermione was frowning.

"...How is that anything like a Magic Eight Ball?"

"When I first got it, all it did was answer questions. It was the only reason I didn't go mad over the summer," Harry explained for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Oh," she said, frowning. "Right. We… I'm so sorry."

"I'm over it, kind of." Even if Dumbledore had forced them into silence, he felt betrayed. And once you knew your friends were willing to betray you once, that doubt would always be there.

"No. Nothing that happened this summer was all right," she said. "We should have found a way."

"I meant to talk to you this summer about everything, it just didn't happen," Harry said. Between his random mood swings and all the fighting with the necklace, Mrs. Weasley's death, the court trial. Explaining the pendant to her had only crossed his mind when he'd thought he'd broken it.

"It was a crazy summer," Hermione agreed, smiling at him. "What are the chances the winter holiday will be any better?"

"None," Harry said. He started down the stairs, Hermione following. He didn't think it'd be horrible. With Sirius and Lupin being a part of his holiday, it had to go well. He'd make sure it did because he wanted his first Christmas with Sirius to be great. But while Harry would be having fun and with a loving relative for the first time, Ron would be having his first Christmas without his mother.

"Probably not," Hermione said. They walked into the Great Hall. Immediately, their eyes fell onto a small gathering or something at the Slytherin table. About fifteen students huddled around the front end of the table. "What in the world?"

"Dunno," Harry muttered. A small crowd at the Slytherin table was beyond unusual. Even stranger, a lot of them were girls, and a few weren't even Slytherin.

"Someone fighting," Ron asked, standing on Harry's other side.

"Not sure," Harry said. "You're taller than both of us, see anything?" At least Ron could be civil in some circumstances. Like when he was trying to be nosey.

Ron craned his neck, even stood on his tiptoes. "No," he said, frowning. "They're too close to each other to make anything out. Should we go check it out or let Malfoy and Pansy deal with this," he asked Hermione.

"I don't think they're fighting," she said. "Most of them look like they're laughing."

"Yeah, but it's Slytherin. If they're happy, someone else is miserable," Ron said. When no one agreed, he looked at Harry questioningly for backup before he seemed to remember they were fighting and walked off quickly, his face red.

"You could have agreed," she sighed.

"But I don't." Had Draco not helped him out in the last few days, he would have, but his prejudice against the Slytherin was fading. He noticed Draco at the table then and looked away before he could see Harry staring at him. "It's none of our business." He started for the Gryffindor table.

"... I suppose not," she said after a moment. "As long as no one is getting hurt." She followed him towards the table. "Did you want me to sit with you?"

"It's okay. I can talk to him."

"Right," she said, her shoulders relaxing. "I'm sure if you joined us, no one would stop you."

"Probably not. Maybe I'll try during lunch. I need a quiet breakfast."

"Well, if you're sure."

"I am."

"All right. I'll see you in class then." With one last look, she joined Ron and the other Gryffindors sitting at the front of the table. Harry hoped this would not be his regular morning routine. He didn't need Hermione's looks of pity, especially when she obviously wanted to sit with Ron and the others.

"Come on." Harry turned, raising an eyebrow at Draco. The Slytherin looked annoyed, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his gaze refusing to meet Harry's. "I said come on."

"Where," Harry asked. He didn't understand why Draco was inviting him when it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with him right now. A common theme around Hogwarts right now.

Draco didn't answer. He turned, muttering what Harry thought was a curse, and started back for the Slytherin table. When Harry hesitated, Draco turned. "Now," he growled.

Well, if Draco wanted him that badly. He stood up and joined Draco, the two of them walking slow. "What's going on?"

Draco let out a long sigh. "I heard you had a crappy night."

"You have no idea," Harry whispered.

"Pretty sure I do, or I wouldn't be stuck dragging you over here," he said, angrily.

"Oh." Was that how their new friendship worked? Whenever he and the shadow fought, Draco would step in and what? Calm Harry down? Make sure no one killed him? Make sure he didn't kill anyone considering his newfound lack of concern for others. He could feel his face burning. "You don't have to come to my rescue every time I'm alone," he said. Draco kept looking around nervously, probably because he didn't want anyone to realize he was talking with Harry. "I'm used to it," he added when he saw the strained look on the Slytherin's face. "Really."

"Just sit down," Draco said.

Draco sat down at the end of the table, Harry watching. He knew he shouldn't push his company on one of the few people who were tolerating him right now. "I'll tell him I said no," Harry offered.

"I said to sit down Potter," Draco snapped, his eyes narrowing.

Harry did as he was told, surprised. Whatever the shadow had on Draco; it must be important. Maybe he could find a way to help him out with that. "What's going on down there," he asked to change the subject.

"You'll find out soon enough," Draco muttered.

Harry's stomach dropped. "Are they deciding how to ruin my life this week?"

Draco shook his head, placing a bunch of fruit onto his plate and two eggs. "Nothing like that."

He wasn't sure if he believed Draco. Another girl, this one a Hufflepuff, joined the group. None of them were glancing his way, and the smiles and giggles didn't seem taunting in any way. The small gathering seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves.

Maybe whatever they were doing would keep them distracted, and they'd all forget about Harry. It always happened eventually; he just hadn't expected it to be so soon. He couldn't deny that he was curious about the gathering though. But, as long as it made the other students forget about him, it didn't matter. It was about time something went right. Now he just needed to get Ron to come around and he might stand a chance at having a good year.

"Draco?"

"What?"

"What does he have on you," he asked. If he planned on helping Draco, he'd need to know what he was negotiating about. "He already told me he made you—"

"No one made me," Draco said cutting Harry off. "If I didn't want to talk to you, I wouldn't," he said sounding offended. "I listen to him because I believe in what he wants. And I…" he shook his head and popped an apple slice into his mouth.

He wanted to know what Draco had been about to say, but the Slytherin was no longer looking at him, but transfixed on his plate of food. Harry knew he wouldn't be getting anything more from him.

Well, it seemed he'd be getting that quiet breakfast.

A rush of wind was the only warning Harry got before the room filled with owls. They screeched and swooped, some dancing beautifully in the air, others shooting towards their owners. Harry noticed Hedwig was among them. She glided gently down to Harry and held out a small parcel. Harry removed it from her leg. "Thanks, Hedwig." Harry grabbed a handful of granola and put it in his plate where Hedwig began to peck away happily at it.

Draco's enormous owl landed on the Slytherin's left. He glanced at the bird, removing the letter, and went back to his fruit. The owl flew away without a single glance back.

Harry stroked Hedwig's cheek while looking at the small box. He couldn't help feeling a little uneasy about opening it. The last time he'd received a package this size, there'd been a demented shadow lying in wait inside a harmless-looking pendant. He saw Lupin's name written on it though and decided it would probably be safe enough. He got the box open in short order and grinned. Inside was a note and a pile of single-serving chocolate bars. Leave it to Lupin to send chocolate. He removed the note and read it.

I hope everything is going well. I sent you some chocolate to fight the first day of school blues.

"What's in the box," Draco asked. He'd finished his letter already and shoved it into his bag.

If this had been a normal school year, he'd be sharing the chocolate with Ron and Hermione. "Here." He took out a small bar of chocolate and handed it to Draco.

A look of suspicion crossed Draco's face. "What's this for?"

"For only being a partial git," Harry said, removing one of the other pieces of chocolate. He opened the package and popped the piece into his mouth. It didn't fix everything, but it helped. "Lupin sent it to me to help with the first day of school."

Draco watched until Harry had swallowed his chocolate. When Harry didn't fall over or start foaming at the mouth, he opened his and ate it.

Hedwig gave Harry a quick affectionate nip on the hand now that she'd finished up the granola and flew off.

"What are you doing over here, Potter," Professor McGonagall asked. She looked put off at having to walk all the way over to the Slytherin table. "Are you and Mr. Weasley still fighting?" Her face dared him to say yes, but why should he bother lying about it? There was no way to hide it.

"Yes," he said. "We're not quite on the same page yet." He didn't add that they might have gotten closer to calling a truce until the shadow got in the way and started a whole new fight. That would merely make things worse, and his life needed no help with that.

McGonagall sighed and handed Harry his schedule before walking away, muttering about how immature and foolish people could be.

Harry scanned the piece of paper and choked on the spoon of cereal he'd just placed into his mouth when he realized what he was up against today. He winced, forcing the food down, his eyes watering.

"What," Draco asked.

"This schedule," Harry coughed. "My Mondays are horrid," he said, looking it over again, hoping he'd somehow made a mistake. A fourth read over told him he had not. This just wasn't fair, which sadly was becoming the number one sentence to describe his life.

Scowling, Draco snatched the schedule from Harry's hand and looked it over. He saw the Slytherin wince a few times before handing it back. "Maybe you shouldn't have stopped yourself from choking."

"No kidding…." What deranged person had decided History of Magic should be the first class of the school year? And it would be his first class every Monday now for his entire fifth year.

"Well, at least you get a lot of the bad out of the way after Monday," Draco said.

"If I survive it."

"You've survived worse."

Yes, he had survived worse. That didn't mean he wanted to try again. His luck was pretty much dead at this point. He might not survive his next paper cut if things continued their current path.

Snape began making his way down one side of the table, handing out schedules. He paled considerably when he stopped at the gathered crowd, his calm demeanor replaced by slow, awkward movements. Snape couldn't seem to get away fast enough and power walked towards Draco once he finished. He froze when he saw Harry sitting at the Slytherin table, shook his head, and approached after he'd gotten some of his composure back.

"Draco," Snape said, handing him his schedule. "I see you've decided to keep questionable company."

"Less questionable than most of the Slytherin house," Draco snorted. "I'll take my chances."

"So, I see." He looked at Harry then back to Draco. "Don't get hurt."

"Think I was the only one who didn't get hurt," he muttered. Snape nodded and headed for the staff table.

"What was that about," Harry asked.

"He's just worried." It was obvious he wouldn't be explaining that either. Instead, he looked over his schedule.

"Any good?"

"Better than yours," Draco smirked. "If nothing else, I don't have History of Magic first period. I have Transfiguration. After that we have Potions together," he said.

"Lucky," Harry said, looking back at his schedule. It was going to be a long day, an even longer year spending his first period in History of Magic with Ron ignoring him. Especially if the shadow refused to speak with him. All his classes were going to be bad. Hermione wouldn't have a choice, but to help Ron. He'd fail everything if she didn't. That meant if the shadow and him fought, he'd have absolutely no one to speak with because he doubted Draco was going to unless the shadow stepped in. He really needed to find a way to mend things with Ron.

The warning bell rang, and Harry let out a sigh. He heard the group of students further down groan. At least he wasn't the only one dreading the start of classes. "Well, I guess the sooner we get this year started, the sooner it'll be over with." He grabbed his bag and stood up.

"Can only hope it goes better than last year," Draco muttered. He looked at Harry for a moment before nodding. "Listen, Potter. Can we try to make sure we all make it out alive this year?"

Harry frowned at that. "What do you mean?"

"I just…" He shook his head. "If you have any plans to try anything stupid, and I mean anything. Weird magic, for example, maybe come talk to me before doing it?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I don't plan on using any weird magic."

"Yeah, I don't think you were last year either, but that didn't stop you. So—"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Harry said.

"I know," Draco said, which only confused Harry more. "But if anything comes up that you find questionable, anything at all. Talk to me, talk to Hermione. Don't do anything stupid." He grabbed his bag and started off, Harry watching him go.

What was that about? Draco and he weren't even talking last year. And what weird magic had he been a part of? Was he talking about the graveyard? It wasn't like he'd had a choice. _Whatever_. His questions would have to wait until Potion's class. He stepped out of the Great Hall and suddenly staggered forward as someone rammed into his shoulder. He regained his balance before he hit the floor. A bunch of girls giggling.

"Sorry," someone said from within the herd of females.

"Don't be, that's Harry Potter," one of the girls said.

They kept walking, in the direction Harry was headed in no less. All he could do was stare and wait so they could get far enough away so he wouldn't have to risk a second run in. Had that really been an accident? _Crap, I'm going to be late._ He could worry about the group of females suddenly out to get him once he was safely inside his History of Magic class. Maybe the girls were all fans of Cedric? They might be plotting revenge against him since half the school thought he'd killed him. Just what he needed. More people accusing him of murder. _Don't't people realize I'd be in Azkaban already if I'd killed Cedric or Mrs. Weasley?_ Common sense like that seemed to be lacking at Hogwarts, though.

"Harry?" He turned Ron and Hermione, standing in the doorway. "Is everything all right?"

"I have no idea," he said. "Someone ran into me, but they apologized so…" It wasn't like he even knew which one in the group had run into him. There had been quite a few people, so maybe it had been an accident.

"We should hurry to History of Magic," she said. "Come on."

"Yeah, because I wouldn't want to be late for that class," Harry muttered.

Ron laughed, Hermione's face growing red. "Now both of you listen to me. We are taking O.W.L. level courses this year. It's going to be hard, and if either of you want to pass, I suggest you pay attention starting today. I have plenty of things to worry about myself and I won't be holding your hands this year."

"But… you'll still share your notes, right," Ron asked making a strange choking sound. Hermione let out a frustrated growl and stomped off down the hall. "Was that a yes," he asked Harry.

"… Think it was a maybe," he said.

"She has to know we can't possibly pass any of these classes without her help," he went on. The two of them started walking down the hall at a safe distance from Hermione.

Harry shrugged. If the shadow stopped being an arse, he could use him for studying instead of Hermione. Not that it would be smart to rely on that plan. The chances of the shadow not getting offended were slim. He'd probably need those notes. "Lupin sent me some chocolate this morning. Think if we bribe her, she'll share?"

"You got chocolate?" He was staring at Harry expectantly now. He knew Ron didn't deserve a thing, especially not chocolate sent to him by Lupin. On the other hand, he needed his friends back. He started going through his bag, trying to find the small box. Eventually, he located it under a pack of parchment.

"Here." He handed Ron a piece. The redhead took it grinning and removed the wrapper.

"Will you two hurry up," Hermione screamed at them from down the hall. They'd just entered the Transfiguration corridor.

"We're coming," Ron yelled back to her. "Sheesh. She's been like this all morning." Hermione shook her head and turned the corner. "We've got like five minutes until class starts."

"I think the exams already have her worried."

"Well, she needs to go get a calming draught then. If this is how she acts the first day, I can't imagine what she'll be like next week."

Harry smiled at that, nodding. Hermione had been perfectly calm when he'd spoken to her earlier. Either her nerves had kicked in, which he didn't believe they had so soon, or she had purposely driven Ron mad during breakfast, so he'd seek Harry out as an ally. _Thanks, Hermione._

"So… what's with you sitting with Malfoy," Ron asked quietly. He was keeping his eyes forward.

"No one else wanted to sit with me," Harry said. He wanted to add "thanks to you", but Hermione would kill him if screwed this up and the two of them began fighting again.

"So why did he?"

"Shadow," he whispered.

"… That thing is friends with Malfoy," Ron asked his eyes widening.

"Actually, I think it's threatening him."

"Really? Maybe it's not so bad?"

"He threatened you this morning," Harry reminded him.

"Yeah, well—"

"Will the two of you get in here?! You have half a minute before you're officially late!" Hermione was standing in front of the door, her arms folded across her chest. The look of her face told them she was not to be crossed, and they hurried into the room. Everyone inside looked like they were about to cry at any moment, no doubt having the same thoughts Harry had had at the table.

"Can you believe the schedule they gave us," Ron asked. "I mean, who did we piss off?"

"Ron," Hermione scolded. She flashed Harry a quick smile before running off to claim three seats in the first row. Of course.

"Was wondering that myself," Harry said. They sat down next to Hermione just as the bell went off. Professor Binns entered the room through the chalkboard and without a single acknowledgment to anyone in the class, grabbed a piece of chalk and started writing on the board.

"The Giant wars," Professor Binns said. "Started in the…"

Harry could feel his eyes already glassing over. His very mind seemed to be rejecting the lesson because he couldn't hear anything the ghost was saying either.

_Why is this so boring,_ he groaned. He dropped his chin into his hand and started doodling on the piece of parchment in front of him. He should be a world-renown artist with all the random things he'd drawn over the years inside this very classroom alone. Today's subject seemed to be Fluffy.

'Binns isn't talking about a Cerberus,' the shadow said, clearly annoyed.

Harry jumped at the sudden mind intrusion. 'Don't do that.'

'If you don't pay attention, you're going to fail the class and your O.W.L.S.'

'How can anyone pay attention in History of Magic,' he asked. 'Look at my classmates. The only one even trying to stay awake is Hermione.'

The shadow sighed, and Harry could suddenly feel him sitting in the empty chair to his left. 'If you don't learn about it now, I'll be forced to teach it to you later.' He leaned closer to Harry to look at the parchment, his chin touching Harry's shoulder. Harry dropped his head, his cheeks burning. 'Though it seems like I'll be doing just that anyway…'

'L, look. I do study for this class, just not in class. I copy Hermione's notes, read the assigned pages, and somehow make it to the next year.'

'You shouldn't use people like that,' the shadow growled.

'… I guess you're right.' It hadn't occurred to him that he was using Hermione. He'd simply thought she'd been letting him see her notes because she was a nice friend who also happened to take great notes. 'There's no way I can pay attention though. It's Monday morning, it's the first class of the school year and it's with Binns.'

The shadow sighed again. Harry's History of Magic book suddenly appeared in front of him, the pages turning until it landed on the right one. 'If you're that good at ignoring him, at least read from the book.'

Harry looked to make sure no one had seen what had just happened. Everyone, Ron included, was practically drooling and dead-eyed, and Hermione was too focused on taking her notes. He looked down at the first page in front of him. 'Okay, so…' he dipped his quill into his bottle of ink. 'Gog and Magog are giants.' He wrote the sentence down, then looked back at the book. 'And…'

The shadow groaned now and grabbed the book. Harry dived for it, so it looked like he was holding it rather than floating in the air. Hermione shot him an angry look.

"S, sorry," he said. Ron was looking at him curiously.

'All that time wasted on proper note-taking and teaching techniques,' the shadow lamented.

'… I'm sorry…?' Harry had no idea what he was talking about. Another common theme. He was getting sick of this.

'I will seek revenge later,' he sighed. 'For now, I will take pity on you.' He snaked an arm around Harry, the Gryffindor's body leaning against the shadow's own, and held the book right in front of him. Harry's eyes snapped wide open. 'Now that I've got your attention,' he snickered.

Yeah, he had all of Harry's attention. Any thought about a giant or war vanished, every single thought now focused on the shadow's embrace.

The shadow pointed to the first image in the book. 'This is Gog and this one is Magog. The two of them were powerful, even for giants. Being so strong and even more stupid, they thought they could become London's rulers. Needless to say, they failed.'

'R, right.' Harry was trying so hard to listen to the shadow. It did sound interesting with him explaining it, but his head was right against the shadow's chest making real focus impossible.

'This was before the 1400s. The idiots were both slaughtered by London's founder.' He grabbed Harry's quill and wrote a few sentences down on his parchment and a blank timeline. 'I'm going to read you some dates and a sentence to go with them, you're going to write it down on the timeline. Okay?'

'O, okay…'

'Is something wrong?' He sounded genuinely concerned.

For something that could read his mind, it was very clueless.

'Yes,' he blurted out. 'Perfect.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes.'

'Okay…'

**(TBC)**

Sorry for the delay, everyone. I got dragged into painting a shed….it looks great now, but it took more time than it should have.


	17. A Partial Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find it funny that people suddenly got a lot more interested in the story as soon as the shadow made his dislike for Umbridge known. I love it. I promise not every chapter is going to be a step by step class attendance. Classes are obviously a big part right now, but won't be the entire story x.x  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever you want to call it, it’s still the same thing. Tom Riddle/Harry Potter and Sirius/Remus  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Draco slid his bag to the floor beside the chair he'd sat down in. For just a second, he thought he was home free, that he would be enjoying a normal class by himself. When he heard someone pull out the chair next to him his hopes fell. He didn't bother to look; he knew who it was. The same person who'd be sitting next to him the whole year as were the "rules" that he'd established that morning in the Slytherin common room. Whenever they shared a class, Draco was to be his partner, and no one was to bother him. Unless of course he told Draco otherwise.

"It worked. He doesn't remember my voice," he whispered.

_Of course not, you wiped the rest of his memory_, Draco thought, rolling his eyes. "How'd you find out?"

"I might have run into him in the Entrance Corridor, literally."

Draco sighed at that. "You couldn't just walk up to him and pretend to ask for directions?" He turned to face the student next to him. Why did he feel the need to make things more difficult than they needed to be?

The Slytherin was smirking. "No, I'm not stupid. I know the layout of this castle better than anyone."

"So, you won't lie if it calls your genius into question," he asked.

"No."

Draco shrugged. Pretending to be a fool wasn't glorious but could be quite helpful in many situations. To each their own, though. He wasn't going to start a war on the first day of school. He would have plenty of other chances throughout the school year to say the wrong thing by accident and risk the other student's vengeance.

"Aderes," Pansy called out. She approached them smiling and was about to sit next to him when Aderes held his hand up to stop her.

"I believe I was clear that only Draco has the privilege to sit with me during classes "

_Privilege, right_. More like he'd been mad enough not to run and never show his face again after last year. If he had nearly the amount of brains his grades reflected, he'd have never gotten involved with any of this.

"But…." She was giving Aderes the biggest puppy eyes she could manage.

Aderes ignored her pathetic attempt and turned back to Draco. He gave a slight shake of his head and Draco found himself snickering as Pansy stomped off towards the row of seats above them.

The bell rang, Professor McGonagall, walking into the room. "Good morning, everyone," she said. "Welcome to your first O.W.L. level class. I wish each and every one of you good luck."

He hoped she was wishing them good luck in everything because he didn't need any for his grades. He needed luck for his life.

**(X)**

The bell rang. The shadow's embrace loosened, and he let out a sigh. 'I guess we're out of time.' He sounded disappointed. Harry nodded, and the shadow released him, standing up. 'We'll go over the material later. Take your break and head to Potions.' The shadow vanished and Harry let out a breath, trying to figure out what in the hell had just happened for the duration of his History of Magic class. Not only had time ceased to exist after the shadow had put his arm around him, so had everything else. The extent of what he'd learned and remembered was the names of two things, Mog and Magog. He couldn't even remember if they were goblins or humans.

"Harry?" Hermione was looking at him worriedly. "Are you okay?" Her eyes narrowed an inch. "Did you fall asleep?"

"No, no… I…" He looked down at the pieces of parchment laid out in front of him. A number adorned each corner and contained timelines, notes, summaries, even a few drawings. One seemed to be a battlefield or something with the strategies used on both sides. His mouth fell open as the notes sunk in, and he heard Hermione gasp.

"Oh my… Harry, these are brilliant!" She snatched them up and started looking them over. "And they're right!" She looked genuinely pleased and handed the stack of papers back to him. "I'm glad one of you are putting in a real effort this year." She glared at Ron who, like everyone else in the classroom, was stretched out on top of his desk, asleep. "Thank you."

"For what," Harry asked.

"For this," she said, motioning to the notes. "I don't mind helping, but I really need to study hard this year. It's less stressful if I just have to worry about Ron."

_Guess he was right_. He stashed the notes into his bag. "I'll do my best, but I can still ask if I have any questions, right?"

"Of course," she said. She finished putting her things away and sighed. "Should we even bother waking him up?"

"Well, Professor Binn's probably won't notice," Harry said. "And it's better if he sleeps in here than in Potions."

"I think I'd rather enjoy watching him drown in his cauldron," she said, simply and leaned towards Ron's ear. "GET UP!"

"WHA?!" Ron jerked up, looking around the room confused as ever as Hermione stepped away, grinning. The other Gryffindors began stirring at Hermione's shout, muffled groans, and yawns filling the room. Professor Binn's turned away from the chalkboard, the closest thing to a surprised look on his face Harry had ever seen.

"I've done my good deed for the day," she said.

Harry couldn't help snickering.

"The bloody hell," Ron mumbled. "Class over with already?" He stretched his arms out and looked down at his parchment, frowning. The only thing on it was a drool stain. "Gonna need to borrow your notes," he said.

"We'll see about that," Hermione said.

"Wh, what? But you've always helped us," Ron whined. "You'll feel horrible if we both fail!"

"Harry stayed awake and took the best notes I've ever seen him take," she said, striding out of the room with an air of superiority. Ron watched her go, his mouth hanging open. When she was out of the classroom, he turned to Harry. "How did you stay awake?"

"Shadow," Harry muttered, starting for the door. Ron grabbed his bag and followed him leaving behind his drool covered parchment.

"You're kidding me," he said in disbelief.

"No."

"So does that thing just enjoy keeping people awake?"

_Only you_, Harry thought as they headed down the Transfiguration Corridor and towards the stairs. The shadow often had him in such states of peace he fell asleep immediately when they were alone. And as much as he'd enjoyed himself, he could not afford to let the shadow repeat what he had just done in Potions unless Snape was lecturing today, but he doubted it. _I'm going to have to read all the notes over._ He mentally groaned. He'd thought it'd been such a brilliant idea too. The shadow explaining whatever it was he'd been explaining in a way even he could understand. It would have been perfect if he hadn't been so caught up in the shadow's embrace. And caught up was putting it mildly.

"Are they that good," Ron asked.

"H, huh," Harry asked, his face burning while his heart tried to break out of his chest and run down the hall screaming.

"The notes," Ron said, giving him a weird look.

"Um, yes," he said quickly. "Great."

"… If she won't let me borrow hers, can I borrow yours?"

"Will you stop accusing me of your mother's death," he asked. He had to force his consciousness to go beyond the shadow and him doing whatever it was they'd been doing. He was pretty sure the shadow had been trying to tutor him and while he'd wanted the same thing, all he'd ended up doing was listening to his heartbeat and marveling at how strong he felt.

"Yeah," Ron said. "I know you didn't do it anyway," he said.

Harry's fantasy broke. He stopped where he was, his feelings of high vanishing. "Then why in the hell have you been accusing me of it this whole time!?"

Ron's face turned dark red. "I thought it was that thing," he said. "But… it. This morning it said it wanted to hurt me, but you wouldn't let it and… There's no way you'd tell it to hurt my mum," he said giving a small shrug.

"Of course, I wouldn't!" He reminded himself not to shout at the last second. He'd wanted Ron back in his life and he'd gotten him. At least their bickering hadn't lasted nearly as long as the year before.

"I'm sorry," he said, refusing to look at Harry. "It's just… this summer was crazy."

"That's an understatement," Harry snorted. He could have dealt with crazy, but everything that had happened over the summer was beyond that. Harry had found himself lying in bed plenty of times wondering what all of them had done to deserve it. Everyone else in number twelve had probably been asking the same question.

"... it probably would have been better if we hadn't been fighting, huh?"

"Probably," Harry agreed. "I don't think it could have been avoided though. I arrived in a bad mood."

"You were attacked by Dementors and Gytrash. How is that anyway?"

Harry shrugged and rolled his sleeve back. The first scratch was gone and the ugly one was no more than a thin white line now. Hopefully, that would heal too, or he'd have yet another scar.

"Adding to your collection Potter," Draco asked. He grabbed Harry's forearm and examined the mark.

"Hey!"

"You got lucky," Draco grunted. "If that hadn't been cleaned properly…."

"No one asked you Malfoy," Ron snapped.

Draco released Harry's arm as another student came up behind him. "You left," he said, not sounding at all happy.

"The rule was to entertain you during class, not during breaks," Draco said.

"I believe there was another rule," he said.

Draco turned, and Harry caught a glimpse of the other student, his breath catching. He was taller than Draco by a few inches with a perfectly chiseled face, high cheekbones, slightly narrowed eyes, which included long angular eyebrows, and breathtaking red eyes. His black hair was somehow darker than his own. Harry was positive he'd never seen this student before. If he had, he'd have been projecting this image onto the shadow.

His eyes traveled to the student's house badge. Of course, he was a Slytherin. He was talking with Draco though, so maybe he wasn't that bad?

"There he is," a girl squealed with delight. "We thought we'd lost you!"

"Over here," another girl said.

"Come on," Ron whispered. Harry nodded despite wishing he could stay and enjoy the view. Draco wasn't bad looking either and with the two of them standing together?

He gave one last look before taking a step back, then another. Soon Ron and he managed to slip away, the two Slytherin none the wiser.

"That was weird," Ron said.

"I don't think I've seen the other guy," Harry said. "Does Hogwarts take transfer students?"

"How should I know? That's a Hermione question. If she's in the mood to answer you."

They walked down the steps and joined Hermione, who'd been waiting for them at the bottom. "Oh, yeah." He pulled out another bite-sized piece of chocolate from his bag and handed it to Hermione. "Lupin sent it."

"That was nice of him." She unwrapped the chocolate and placed it into her mouth. "This is good," she said, surprised.

"Yeah, ask Lupin to send more." Hermione whacked Ron's upper arm. "Hey!" He moved so Harry was between him and Hermione.

"Honestly, Ron," she said, glaring at him.

"Hey, does Hogwarts take in transfer students," Harry asked.

"On rare occasions, why?"

"Because Draco was talking to a Slytherin, I've never seen before," Harry said.

"Just because you haven't seen him before today—"

"You'd remember if you saw him before," Harry said.

"He was kind of creepy," Ron said.

Harry glared at the redhead ready to defend the new student when his common sense decided to come back. He didn't even know the new student's name or anything else about him. All he knew for sure was, he was hot, and in Slytherin, and hot, and possibly friends with Draco.

_This is stupid._ He shouldn't be drooling over some Slytherin he'd never met, or should he? What was unhealthier? Chasing after a magical object's incarnated shadow or a Slytherin he knew nothing about, even if he put Cedric's looks to shame. Both choices would probably get him nowhere. Given the circumstances, he probably had a better shot with the shadow. Alive or not, he'd slept in the same bed as him and they shared an incredibly unique bond. At least, he thought it was unique. He'd have to ask him when they got to Potions.

Neither were normal, and he told himself there was no point in worrying about it. There was no point because neither relationship, any of them if he included Draco, were going to happen, ever. Magical objects weren't capable of authentic emotions. And the Slytherin? He could have anyone he wanted, why would he waste that chance on Harry. Unless he was one of those weirdos who wanted to try to go on a date with Harry, simply because he was Harry Potter. Not that he could claim the moral high ground on this. He wanted to snog the new student just because he was hot. He had the best chance with Draco, but just because the Slytherin was helping him didn't mean they'd ever be anything more then forced acquaintances.

The first warning bell sounded, and they headed for the stairs leading into the dungeon. With any luck, the shadow wouldn't be able to induce any strange feelings or behaviors from Harry during class. Not with all the Gryffindor and Slytherin in class together and everyone awake.

"Do NOT leave me!" All three of them turned as Draco came running towards them. He started down the steps to the dungeons ahead of them and stopped halfway when he noticed they weren't following him. "Come on!"

"Do we... is it a trap," Ron asked nervously.

Harry shrugged and started down the steps. "What's wrong," he asked.

"What's right," he muttered. "Just stand next to me for the rest of the school year or until that thing has made up his mind."

Harry gave a quick look around. Hermione and Ron joined them. "What did he do? Am I going to get called into Dumbledore's office soon?"

Draco shook his head. "No."

"Wait, Draco knows," Hermione asked. "You weren't supposed to tell anyone."

"I didn't tell him, _he_ did."

"Wait, how far can this thing travel," Ron asked in awe. "Malfoy doesn't live anywhere near me. Or any of us."

"Who told you where I lived," Draco demanded.

"No one! I don't!" He glared at Draco before turning away from him.

"Great, so I have two mental gits stalking me." He turned to Harry. "Am I going to find out you know too Potter?"

"Ron wasn't nice enough to share," Harry said. Draco studied him a second before Hermione and he both started laughing. It was strange how well Draco seemed to fit into their group all of a sudden.

_This is nice…_ Harry hadn't thought the four of them could be friends, but Draco had changed a lot more than he'd thought. And if they were friends, Harry should try to keep him safe.

'What did you do to Draco?'

Mild surprise followed by amusement. 'Did he run to you?'

'Yes, so whatever you're doing—'

'I have saved you how many times this summer,' he asked annoyed.

'A lot.'

'Then don't question my methods and don't believe for a second I listen to you unless I feel like it.' The coldness behind those words actually had Harry's eyes brimming with tears. Had they been said verbally, it would have been bad, but through this bond, it felt like each word was slashing at his mind.

"Ngh!" He grabbed the side of his head, his eyes closing.

"Harry, are you okay?"

"What's going on," Hermione asked. "Harry!"

"Potter, "Draco growled. He grabbed Harry's raised wrist. Scowling, Draco removed his wand from his robes and pointed it at Harry's head.

"What are you doing," Ron screamed.

"Were you about to attack another student?" They all turned, Harry included, towards the voice. "That won't do at all. No, I'm afraid you'll need to be punished," Umbridge said with a small laugh.

"He's trying to help him," Hermione said. "Something's wrong with Harry!"

"Is there now," she asked, her voice so sweet it made Harry's teeth want to fall out. The mental attack had stopped, and Harry swore he caught a glimpse of the Entrance Corridor in his mind.

"I, it stopped," he managed. The image faded, but the anger was increasing.

"Did it now? Or were you, perhaps, simply looking for more attention?" She laughed louder this time. "Yes, I believe lying to get attention is worth two detentions!"

"I'm not lying," he screamed.

"Make that three detentions. I'll see you in my office tonight—"

"I'm afraid that conflicts with an already prescheduled detention," Snape's bitter voice said. "That's ten points from Gryffindor for being late to my class. Now, go." He looked at Umbridge as Harry walked past the Potion's Professor and joined Ron and Hermione. Since when did Snape ever save him? He noticed Draco was at the classroom door looking at them worriedly.

_Draco, actually…._

He could hardly believe it. Draco had asked Snape to help and Snape actually had. The world had gone mad.

"And why are you so late," Snape yelled. "Get into the classroom and I'll deal with you later!"

Harry groaned, the anger rushing through him almost making him fall. Ron caught him before he went down, Draco rushing to grab his other side.

"Stop being such an arse," Draco growled.

The emotions through the bond told him Draco was yelling at the shadow, but he didn't have the energy to turn around. Instead, with the help of his friends, he made it into the classroom. They got him into a chair as the bond snapped shut. The relief from the pain was hardly worth it because now he just felt alone.

Immediately the other students started whispering to each other. Harry wished they'd all just go away. He didn't need their crap on top of everything else he was dealing with.

"Better," Ron asked.

"No," Harry said.

"Why," Draco asked.

"It's hard to explain," he said just loud enough for them to hear. "When he gets mad, it's like my brain is being destroyed. When I can't feel him, it's like I'm in solitary confinement. It hurts, just in a different way."

He closed his eyes and placed his head on the table.

"Is he okay," Harry heard someone ask.

"Just out for attention," someone said. "Merlin, doesn't he ever get enough?"

_Shut up! _He would love to go one school year without something happening. He didn't want the attention. All he wanted was his friends and his family to be safe. For Mrs. Weasley to come back. For someone to care about him before he died.

The door to the classroom slammed shut, everyone turning. Snape stormed towards the table he was at and just behind the Potion's Professor was the transfer student, his eyes narrowed at Snape. Harry hadn't noticed it earlier, probably because he'd been too busy drooling, but Ron had been right. The transfer student was giving off a dangerous aura. The amount of hate in his eyes directed at Snape was terrifying.

"To think I had to save you," he said, his voice calm, his eyes flashing. "If not for Draco—!"

"She threatened me first," Draco said. Snape turned, a look of shock on his face. "She accused me of attacking Potter."

"But he didn't," Harry said. "So, she started accusing me of seeking attention."

He looked taken aback, no doubt since the two of them were defending each other. "Fine! Do well to remember to avoid drawing attention to yourself, both of you!" He stomped towards the front of the class. "EVERYONE SIT!"

Everyone was sitting, except for the new student. Harry saw unsurprisingly that their table was the only one with an empty seat.

_Why wouldn't the good-looking psychopath sit with us?_ What did surprise Harry was that the new student was looking at him like he was asking permission to join them.

"Do you see an empty seat anywhere else," he asked, horrified the words had verbally left his mouth.

The new student said nothing as he walked to their table and sat down next to Draco. Hermione's eyes fixed on him and Ron moved closer to Harry. Harry didn't know what Ron thought he could do, but whatever it was, he was mistaken.

"I will not go easy on any of you! This year is the last chance you have to prove to me that you are capable of potion-making. I accept nothing less than an Acceptable mark for your O.W.L which means finally, I won't have to look at most of you in a year's time."

The feeling was mutual.

"He meant you, Potter," Draco whispered.

"I don't want to come back either," he whispered back.

"Today you are brewing your first O.W.L. level potion, the Draught of Peace. Done correctly, it calms anxiety, which all of you will need this year."

"Arrogant git," Ron breathed. Hermione tapped the top of his hand without looking.

"Done wrong, you can place someone into a coma or irreversible sleep. For those of you unable to understand what that means, if you mess up, you could kill someone." He pulled his wand out and tapped the chalkboard, ingredients, and directions covering it from one side to the other. "You have until the end of class. Begin!"

_Great. First Potion lesson of the year and the results could kill me_. He pulled out his Potion's storage kit and started removing the proper ingredients. _Should be everything…_

"You don't have your Hellebore," the new student said.

Harry looked at the board and back at his ingredients. No Syrup of Hellebore. "Thanks." The student nodded, his attention back on his potion. With everything set out, he lit the fire beneath his cauldron. He needed to be careful since the shadow wouldn't be helping him after all and really, he wasn't sure he wanted his help anymore. The pain from the words and the emotional attack was proof that in the end, the shadow didn't care for anyone. He dropped the first ingredient in and waited.

_Would the bond be weaker if I removed the necklace?_ And how long did he have to keep it, anyway? Surely, he'd had it long enough to be able to rid himself of it without losing his mind.

"Pay attention," Hermione warned him.

Harry nodded, but when he looked back from the board, he realized she was talking to Ron. The redhead had somehow turned his potion red and muddy.

He dropped the second ingredient in, holding back a sigh. He wanted the shadow's help, okay; he needed it. History of Magic he could easily read the book and catch up. Potions had always been the one class he'd never quite gotten the hang of. A large part of that was probably thanks to Snape. The git never helped anyone besides Draco and usually, Harry spent most of his class trying to avoid Snape's wraith. It wasn't easy to make a good potion when you felt like your every single breath was being judged.

_One more year._ He could do it. One more year and then he'd never have to look at Snape, again.

The feeling of isolation suddenly vanished. 'What are you doing!?'

Harry's eyes snapped onto his cauldron, his face burning. His potion had started to boil over, covering the rest of his ingredients with hot water.

"Shite." He scrambled for his wand and lowered the fire before using it to clean up the water. The two Slytherin were snickering. At least they weren't being outright hostile. _Okay…_ He looked over his ingredients and looked back up at the board to see what exactly he'd done wrong.

'Your flame was too high, it's a slow boil,' the shadow said.

Harry scowled and refilled his cauldron with the proper amount of water. He knew the shadow was right once he reread the board, but he was still angry with him. He'd thought they'd come to some sort of agreement, that the shadow wouldn't hurt anyone that wasn't hurting Harry. A surge of warmth ran up Harry's arm from where the shadow touched it.

'Stop being stubborn. Do you want Snape to give you a hard time?'

'Of course not! But you're no better. The second my thoughts don't align with yours; you lash out at me!'

He checked to make sure the flame was as low as it would go.

'You're right,' the shadow said. 'I'm sorry. I get jealous, easy—'

'Jealous,' Harry asked. 'Jealous of what? How does wanting you to not harm my friends cause you to get jealous?' And why would the shadow be jealous, period? Was it against sharing Harry with others? Was this magical object an over-possessive creep? It better not be. He had enough problems with all his relationships in general. He didn't need some crazy arse necklace making it harder.

'That's not…'

He looked over all the ingredients again, double-checking them against the board. There was no way he'd have time to start over again. _Add powder moonstone…_

'Don't ignore me!'

'I'm trying to concentrate!'

"You look like you're having a stroke, Potter," Draco whispered in warning.

"Probably be better off if I had one."

Draco snickered, and Harry noticed the new student looking at him. Well, that was one way to get the Slytherin's attention. Not that it mattered. Between the rumors and the necklace, he wasn't going to have any friends, let alone a boyfriend.

'Focus,' the shadow snapped. 'It's green, start stirring until it turns blue.'

Scowling, Harry did as instructed. Even if he was mad at the shadow, there was no denying its brilliance where book knowledge was concerned. If he followed the shadow's advice, he would get perfect marks, but was it worth it?

'Even if you help me get a perfect score, I'm still mad. I'd rather fail all of my classes than let any of my friends get hurt.'

'If you haven't noticed, Draco is fine. I was just annoying him.'

'And you thought mentally attacking me was a better option than just telling me that,' Harry asked drily.

'No,' he sighed. 'This mental bond is a lot harder to master than I thought. I've never had to keep my anger in check inside my own mind. Turns out I'm a lot more emotional than I thought,' he muttered.

'So, when it's partially closed, we can talk without our emotions coming through?'

'Yes.'

Harry sighed. 'What do you suggest?'

'More practice,' he said, immediately. 'But first, we need to make sure Snape doesn't throw you out of the classroom.' He moved his hand to Harry's shoulder. 'Just trust me.'

'Fine.' The potion turned blue.

'Add more moonstone, until it turns purple.' Harry did so. The potion turned purple quick enough. 'Since you're behind, raise the flame a tad higher.' Nodding, Harry pointed his wand at his cauldron and increased the flames. 'Now we wait until it turns pink.'

'Okay.'

"Someone's getting help," Draco smirked. Both Slytherin's and Hermione's potion were at the same step. Hermione was helping Ron, looking like she was going to drown him in the slime-like substance in his cauldron the longer she helped.

"Belt it."

"Really Ron? Are you incapable of the most basic of instructions? All you had to do was measure out three ingredients and bring them to a slow boil," she growled.

"This is hard," Ron protested.

"And it's only going to get worse, so deal with it!"

'Put in the syrup of Hellebore. You need it to turn turquoise then let it simmer until it's purple again.'

'Okay.'

"What's with all the talking over here," Snape demanded, walking towards their table. He took in the three perfect cauldrons then looked at Harry's. He seemed disappointed that Harry's potion wasn't the mess it usually was. "Who's helping Potter," he asked coldly.

"No one," Harry lied.

"Do not lie to me, Potter. You are incapable of brewing anything above a P level."

Harry felt his face flush with anger.

"The only one getting help is Weasley," the new student said.

Snape looked at Ron's cauldron and scowled. "Do yourself and everyone else a favor. Don't become a professor, Granger." He walked off, Hermione's face bright pink. She was clearly fighting back tears.

"Arse," Ron whispered. "It's not you Hermione, really. It's me. I'll try harder."

"I know it's you," she snapped, wiping tears away.

Harry turned to Snape, wishing him a painful accident. Even if he'd saved them from Umbridge, he obviously hadn't changed at all.

"You can't fault her for not getting through to someone as dense as him," the new student said loudly, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Not even Merlin would stand a chance at that."

Snape turned as every Slytherin present burst into laughter. Harry swore even Snape was trying hard not to smile.

"H, hey," Ron said. "Mine is better than Neville's!"

Which was true. Neville's looked like the contents inside of his cauldron were hardening. As Harry looked, it turned out most of the students were having slight problems with their potions. Seamus's was randomly throwing out a spark here and there. Crabbe's mixture was completely on fire, but he was too busy laughing to take notice.

"Hmph. Save your feelings, Aderes," Snape said.

_Aderes._ He liked the name. It sounded familiar, but he was fairly sure he didn't know anyone with that name.

"It's not like I have a crush on her," Aderes said. "I'm merely pointing out the obvious based on the quality of her own potion."

"Five points from Slytherin! Get back to work!"

The room filled with murmurs followed fast by a scream. Harry smirked. Crabbe must have finally looked at his potion.

"You useless fool," Snape roared.

'Stop getting distracted and shake the powdered porcupine quills and slowly add them until it's red. It shouldn't take too much.'

'Thanks.' If not for the shadow, he'd have completely forgotten about his potion until it was too late.

"Thank you," Hermione whispered.

"Any time," Aderes whispered back.

At least someone was going to have a boyfriend this year.

'Stir it until it's orange,' the shadow said, loudly. 'Then add more quills until turquoise.'

'R, right.' He stirred it again waiting until the potion turned orange and then slowly added more powdered porcupine quills. It turned turquoise.

'Now let it simmer for seven minutes.'

'Okay.' He looked back at Aderes, wondering what kind of person he was. Both for his own curiosity and Hermione's sake. He seemed capable in Potions, at least. He'd defended Hermione against his head of house, but he'd sacrificed Ron for it.

The shadow shoved the powdered unicorn horn into Harry's hand. Luckily, no one had noticed. 'Add that until it's pink,' he hissed.

Aderes raised an eyebrow at Harry when he noticed him staring.

"Thanks," he said looking back at his cauldron hoping he didn't see his blush. Thank goodness the bond was shut. He didn't know what the shadow had meant by getting jealous, but if it lashed out at Harry and the people he saw as friends, what would he do to someone Harry thought was hot? Whatever it would be, it wouldn't be fair. Aderes hadn't done anything wrong. Why should he be punished for being good looking and defending Hermione?

He heard Aderes snicker and his face no doubt turned five shades darker.

'It's pink, you need to stir it until it turns red, _now_,' the shadow said.

Harry jumped at the shadow's words. He didn't need the bond open to hear the anger in the shadow's tone. Everyone else around him began adding their powdered unicorn horn as well. The potion wasn't as bright looking like Hermione's or the two Slytherin, but it still looked better than Ron's.

'Okay, now that it's red, let it simmer until It's purple.'

_This is crazy. _He knew O.W.L. level classes weren't going to be easy, but this was ridiculous. Without the shadow giving him constant instructions and keeping him on task, he'd have never gotten this far.

'Add more moonstone. It should turn grey.'

'I don't think I'm going to survive Potions this year,' he said. The potion turned grey and he felt his heart leap. So far so good.

'It needs to simmer again until it's orange.'

'Got it.'

'Just two more steps.' The potion turned orange. 'Add in more powdered porcupine quills while stirring. It will turn white. As soon as it does, lower the temperature back down and add seven drops of Hellebore.'

"If you brewed the potion correctly, it should have silver steam rising from it. Take one of your flasks, fill it up, cork it, and leave it on my desk," Snape yelled.

'Not bad,' the shadow said.

'It looks good,' Harry agreed. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.'

For once, Harry had a good sample to turn in. Smiling, he left his flask on Snape's desk and went back to his table to clean his cauldron. They all finished cleaning about the same time, Ron grumbling during most of it.

"At least it's lunchtime," Harry offered his friend.

"Yeah," Ron agreed. "And we can joke off in Divination," he grinned. "How do you think you'll die this year?"

"Mm... maybe I'll get run over by the Hogwarts' express. I could use a quick death for once."

"You two," Hermione said, angrily. "Why do you even bother with that class?" She grabbed her bag and slipped it over her shoulder. "Aderes, I really appreciate what you did."

"He wasn't being fair," Aderes said looking up from his bag.

"Well, Snape's never fair to us. If Ron or Harry had spoken up, all three of us would have ended up in detention."

He gave her a full teeth smile, and Harry's heart stopped. "Some people need to be brought down from their pedestals."

"Yes," Hermione agreed, returning the smile.

"It looks like they'll be talking awhile," Harry whispered to Ron. "Let's go get lunch."

Ron nodded, and surprisingly, Draco followed them out of the room.

"How long, you think before they start dating," Ron asked, grumbling.

Draco started laughing, Ron glaring at him. "What?"

"Jealous Weasley?"

"What? No! It'll just be weird, right, Harry!?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed. If Hermione and Aderes got together, Harry would have to do his best not to get too jealous of Hermione and not to get caught staring at her boyfriend. Not exactly the most normal situation to be in.

**(TBC)**


	18. Mind Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. Just yeah. At 18, good. I promised not to make every chapter turn into an instructional manual, even if it did serve a purpose in the last chapter. I’m just going to start writing…  
For anyone curious, I’m using two different maps and wiki to place these classrooms. So sorry if things sound wrong, I’m just going with what works.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever. Tom’s after Harry. Harry’s after Tom. And Sirius and Remus are probably the only ones with a somewhat normal relationship. (Yes, I rewrite these notes/warnings for each chapter.)

“Does anyone know if we have to serve any of those detentions Umbridge mentioned,” Harry asked as they started up the steps. He’d already racked up more detentions in the last two days than he had in his first month last year, and none of them were from Snape. He seriously needed to find the dimensional door he’d accidentally stepped through causing him to live in this alternate universe_. My universe doesn’t include a really hot Slytherin I can stare at though._ _Or Draco’s friendship_. It seemed he would need more time to think over his choices before trying to escape back to his reality.

“Snape said he’d take care of it,” Draco said. 

“For you probably,” Ron snorted. “Can’t imagine he’d get Harry out of one. Probably told her to add a few extras just in case.”

“Probably,” Harry agreed. “I forgot to thank you for getting Snape,” Harry said.

“I don’t like that woman. Besides, he’d kill me if I didn’t at least try to help you.”

“I thought I had it bad,” Ron said. “I’m starting to think I’m lucky just getting thrown into a wall and threatened at random hours of the night.”

“You are,” Draco said, his voice taking on an edge.

“That new student,” Harry said, hoping to direct the conversation away from dangerous territory. Ron and Draco both gave him curious looks. Okay, he wasn’t fooling anyone. Even if Aderes was a Hermione fan, it didn’t hurt to ask about him. He was merely doing his job as her best friend to make sure she wasn’t making a mistake. “He won’t hurt Hermione, right?”

“Depends on what you mean,” Draco said. “But I wouldn’t think so, he likes Hermione.”

Ron groaned at that, and Draco’s smirk returned.

They entered the Entrance Corridor and made a direct line for the Great Hall. Harry could smell the food before they even got into the doorway, his mouth watering. The three of them stopped, each one glancing from one side of the room where the Gryffindor table was to the other side of the room where the Slytherin table was.

“Should we sit in between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and call it even,” Draco asked.

Harry raised an eyebrow at that while Ron started laughing. It was nice to know that Draco’s humor extended beyond insults. There was no rule that anyone had to sit at their sorted house’s table. The issue was the Slytherin were gits, and they’d endure an entire lunch of insults and jabs if they sat there. The Gryffindors would glare at them, possibly call out a few insults, and then pretend they no longer existed unless they brought attention to themselves.

“What are the three of you doing,” Hermione asked. The three of them had spent so long mentally debating that Hermione and Aderes had caught up with them. “Why are you just standing here?”

“We weren’t sure which table to sit at,” Harry admitted.

“For the love of Merlin,” Hermione sighed. “No one cares.” She walked towards the Gryffindor table and sat down where Harry had enjoyed his feast alone the night before. Aderes looked at them shrugging and sat down next to her.

_He fell for her fast,_ Harry thought. Not that he could talk. Not only had he handed over all his free will to a crazy shadow, he'd decided he wanted Aderes as a boyfriend based on looks. _Am I that shallow?_ No, he decided. That was only a part of it. He'd fallen for a fake object because he was desperate for something to care about him and it'd started off being nice to him. It'd been the same with Draco. He hadn’t realized the Slytherin was decent looking until he'd started being nice. Sadly, Aderes had been, was, a shallow crush brought on by looks. Could he even consider just wanting to snog someone a crush? He'd never had to think about these kinds of things.

The three of them joined the other two, making sure to keep a slight distance between them. There was no point in them invading Aderes’s and Hermione’s personal space, and Harry didn’t want to listen about some theory involving numbers and stars. It seemed Aderes was not only good looking; he was also a brilliant student. As long as he kept that scary look locked up, he was a good match for Hermione.

Draco nudged him, and he turned away from Hermione and Aderes. "Yeah?"

"Just let them be." 

"I am," Harry said. He grabbed a sandwich and started chewing on it. "You're in Arithmancy?"

"I can't stand the sound of Trelawney's voice," Draco said. 

"You learn to tune her out," Ron said as if learning how to tune out a teacher was something to be proud of. Draco rolled his eyes at him while grabbing a handful of carrots. 

"You eat healthy, don't you?" He had no idea why that surprised him, but it did. 

"That a problem," Draco asked.

"It's weird," Ron said. "Why would you eat vegetables if no one is making you?"

Draco stared at Ron a moment. "Because I like the taste of vegetables," Draco said. "Not everyone is obsessed with junk food."

Ron looked at his plate, his face flushing. He'd piled a tower of crisps onto it next to a piece of fried fish, and three sausages. 

"I would get sick trying to eat that," Draco said, using the baby carrot in his hand to motion to the food in Ron’s plate. 

"Well, that's because you’ve got a weak stomach! Your mum should have prepared you better." 

Draco arched his eyebrow. "My mum doesn't cook. Our house-elf does." Ron opened his mouth, seemed to think better of it and closed it. "I can eat anything, but all that grease would make me tired." 

"Yeah, I guess eating a lot of that kind of food does make you tired." Harry hadn’t really thought about his food choices based on how his body reacted to them. The only time he avoided certain foods was if they made him sick. Or if a pudding was too sweet. "I don't like really sweet things. I like puddings, but if it makes my teeth crawl, it's not worth it." 

"Okay, both of you stop," Ron groaned, raising both hands up at them, his arms resting on the table. "Either fight or drop the small talk!" When neither of them said anything, Ron glared at them. "Did you both forget all three of us love Quidditch?”

“That doesn’t mean we have to talk about Quidditch,” Harry said. Not that he minded. Quidditch was one of the few escapes he got from his messed-up life. They would have plenty of time to talk about it when the Quidditch season started. For now, Harry just wanted to get to know Draco.

“We like the same teams,” Ron said. “It’s common ground!”

“Because talking about food isn’t,” Draco asked.

“It’s boring,” Ron said, his voice rising.

“For him,” Draco whispered, then louder. “Fine Weasley. Let’s talk about that cauldron full of mud you claimed was The Draught of Peace.”

“At least mine didn’t go up in flames,” he countered.

“Crabbe and Goyle can’t read and it’s not my job to teach them.” He grabbed a ham and cheese sandwich.

Harry snuck a look towards Aderes and Hermione. They were both laughing about something. Would this be the new normal for them? Ron, Draco, and him talking while Hermione and Aderes remained in their own little group? There wasn’t much sense in worrying about it. Hermione always did whatever she wanted, and he had a feeling Aderes took that sentiment even further.

He chewed on his sandwich, unable to focus on anyone's conversation. 'I have Divination next,' he said, taking another bite of his food. ‘So, I shouldn't need any help.' If he predicted his own death and a few others’ deaths along the way, he'd pass with flying colors. 

He finished his sandwich, not quite hearing the conversation Draco and Ron were having. The words ‘stupid’ and ‘vines’ were repeated often enough, but the rest escaped him. He started on a second sandwich, waiting for the shadow to reply.

After he’d finished eating his third sandwich, and the shadow had yet to answer him, he grabbed his bag, the other two teens looking at him. “What? It’s a long walk to the Divination tower.” That and he felt ignored. He didn't care so much that Ron and Draco had hit it off or that Hermione was spending her time with Aderes. The shadow's lack of response bothered him. They weren't bickering, at least he didn't think so and the bond wasn't completely such, so he knew the shadow could hear him. 

Great. So, despite the two real people in front of him, Harry wanted the necklace with the magical incarnate shadow because why not? The object had fooled Harry, and he'd allowed it, wanted it even. There was a certain amount of freedom falling for a magical object. As long as the bond wasn't completely open, he could stare and daydream about whoever he wanted. He didn't really have to share it with anyone. It protected him and helped him with his studies. The only problem was, even if he told the thing how he felt, it wouldn't understand. It would never be able to truly return his feelings. He wasn't even sure it was capable of pretending to have any kind of feelings of love for someone. It had anger down, that was for sure, so maybe.

But how could he think of being with anyone else after History of Magic? After all those times, he'd drifted off in the shadow’s embrace. He lifted his hand to his neck, making sure the necklace was still there. It was, but that just made him more uneasy. _He should have answered by now._

“Doesn’t mean we should cut our lunch short for it,” Ron said. “Why is the Arithmancy class so close?”

“Because Professor Vector doesn’t need to hide her face,” Draco smirked.

“Can’t argue with that,” Ron sighed. “Let’s get this over with.” He grabbed his own bag and turned to Hermione and Aderes. “We’ll see you later!” The two turned, giving Ron a funny look before returning to their conversation. “Merlin, you think it’s going to be like this all year?”

“Probably,” Harry said.

“I get the feeling they won’t be letting me join in their conversation. I’ll walk with you until we reach the staircase,” Draco said. He slipped his bag’s strap over his shoulder.

The three left the Great Hall together.

“She’s not going to help us anymore,” Ron said the second they were out of the Great Hall. 

“Aw, will poor Weasley have to fend for himself,” Draco asked tauntingly.

“Belt it Malfoy. This is the worst possible time for her to stop sharing her notes!”

“We have been taking advantage of her,” Harry said quietly. 

Ron’s mouth fell open. “The only reason you don’t care is because that stupid thing is helping you,” Ron spat. “What would you do if he wasn’t?”

“Fail,” Harry said, shrugging. “Well, I have no problems with Defense.” They passed the staff office and started towards the staircase on the left. If it hadn’t been raining, they could have gone through the courtyard, but Harry didn’t want to risk getting a cold and Ron didn’t protest when they walked past the door leading outside.

“At least you’re honest, Potter,” Draco laughed.

“How do you stay on top of your studies,” Harry asked. He kept forgetting that Draco archived high marks in his classes.

“I was born brilliant.”

Harry rolled his eyes at that. “Humor me, for those of us who weren’t born with the talents of the gods.”

“Read every book on your book list until you can see it in your dreams,” Draco said. “And practice every spell, potion, wand movement, all of it, until it’s in your muscle memory.”

“That’ll take way too long,” Ron whined.

“You don’t get anywhere without effort, Weasley.”

“Says the guy who’s had everything handed to him since birth,” Ron growled.

“Not everything,” Draco said. They stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “You have no idea what I’ve gone through to get where I’m at and what I have to do to get to where I’m going.” He looked older than his fifteen years and tired.

“You aren't alone now,” Harry said. The shadow had made sure Draco and him would become friends and Harry wouldn’t abandon him. Whatever the shadow had planned, whatever they needed to do to kill Voldemort, they would. “You can fill us in in Defense class.”

Draco shrugged and went up the stairs. The two Gryffindors watched him until he was out of sight before heading back into the hall to start back on their lengthy journey to the Divination tower.

"You think it's bad," Ron asked. 

"Yeah." 

"He got serious all of a sudden." They crossed the enclosed bridge leading to the North towers and entered the other side of the school. "He's changed." 

"He has," Harry agreed. "I guess all of us have. I ran into him during your mum's funeral. He looked exhausted." 

Ron frowned at that. “Why was he at my mum’s funeral?”

“His cousin died,” Harry said.

“Oh.”

Harry winced when he entered the Divination room. There were so many incenses lit the air itself looked visible and shimmered. The scents overlapped each other, some sweet, others musty. He was glad to see he wasn't the only one having problems. Ron was staggering to the nearest chair. Harry followed.

"Ah, welcome back," Professor Trelawney said. She set two Dream Oracle books onto their table before moving to the next one. 

_Why hasn't he said anything?_ 'Are we fighting?' Scowling he pulled the necklace out from beneath his shirt. The pendant was warm like it originally had been, all the bumps and cracks gone. When he examined the dark pool though he could tell it was empty.

“What’s up,” Ron asked quietly.

“He’s ignoring me,” Harry said. He slipped the necklace back into his shirt. “I haven’t heard from him since Potions.”

“Is that normal?”

“I don’t know, I guess.” The shadow had left plenty of times during his stay at number twelve. Sometimes disappearing for the entire day. When he did that, he usually let Harry know though. “He might need to rest.” He’d forgotten about that.

Other students began filing into the classroom. Professor Trelawney greeted everyone as they entered. When they were all seated, she smiled. “We will begin today with reading the introduction to The Dream Oracle. Once you’ve read it, I’d like you to pair up and decipher your partner’s dream. You may begin.”

He closed his eyes and opened the book, wishing he’d ditched the class. He could always lie to Ron about what he’d been dreaming about lately. He hadn’t even told Sirius about his weird dreams. The only one who knew was the shadow, and that was due to the bond.

“Okay, who’s going first,” Ron asked. The introduction had only been five pages long. He flipped to the dream index at the back of the book.

“You can,” Harry said. He opened the book to the dream index section and pulled out his quill. “Anything fun?”

“If you can call being chased by a spider fun,” Ron said.

“No.” Though he had a feeling it was much worse for Ron than it would have been him. Ron was scared of spiders. Harry only had issues with the ones bigger than he was. He wrote down the words ‘Spider chasing him.’ “Did it catch you?”

“No, I eventually ran into McGonagall and hid behind her. She hit it with a broom.”

Harry shook his head. It must be nice to have normal dreams. “Okay, so it says… you’re being immature and need to stop. And that you’re probably going to get hurt by some life situation.”

“Pretty sure I already dealt with that.”

Harry shrugged and wrote the interpretation on his paper.

“My turn. What did you dream about?”

“Well…”

He was running down that horrible dimly lit hall, tugging at a door he knew wouldn't open. A figure walking towards him. Walking towards him and trying to grab at him. He struggled more, the door not budging, the figure getting closer. The figure was going to hurt him, kill him if it got the chance, he could feel it. And yet a small part of him said he was wrong. That the figure wanted something else.

He blinked, the classroom coming back into focus, sweat forming on the back of his neck. There was no way he could tell Ron about that.

“You look really pale…”

“I dreamt that someone stabbed me,” he said.

Ron gave him a strange look but said nothing. “Says you’re going to be betrayed.”

“Great, because I can afford another one of those,” Harry muttered.

By the time class was over, Harry wondered if he could find a way to get Dumbledore to let him drop Divination. It was easy to lie about his dreams, Ron and he did it all the time. Everyone in the class, but a select few probably did. It was the flashbacks to his recurring dream that made him want to never come back.

Just one more class, he reminded himself. All he had to do was make it through double Defense and he could go back to the dorm so he could reread his History of Magic notes. With any luck, they would make him forget about the dreams. _Crap, I have detention with Professor McGonagall._ Perhaps her choice of punishment would drive the dream from his mind then. At the least, he might forget that the shadow was ignoring him for some unknown reason.

They just made it into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom when the last warning bell sounded.

“Someone really needs to think about the location of our classes when they do the scheduling,” Ron gasped. They’d run up the last set of stairs and down the hall, neither of them wanting to add another detention to their week.

Harry spotted Hermione first and frowned. Aderes was next to her and Draco next to him. The three had not been kind enough to save them a seat. Ron gave him a questioningly look until he saw what Harry was staring at. Shrugging, he motioned to a pair of seats next to Neville in the back of the room.

“You think it’s because we want to borrow her notes,” Ron asked. He sat down in the far seat, leaving Harry sitting directly next to Neville.

“Hey,” Neville said.

“Hey Neville,” Harry answered before turning to Ron. “No, I think she’s amazed with Aderes and Draco is friends with Aderes, so everyone is just going to surround Aderes, but us,” he said glaring at the back of Aderes’s head. He was hardly one to talk. He was among the people who wanted to be around Aderes, he just refused to do so. He didn’t need some overly smart pretty boy. He had his shadow if it wasn’t out looking for someone else to hold the necklace. He couldn’t blame it if it were either because he wanted to ditch himself too. He was a walking billboard of targets, trouble, and nightmares and came included with a neon arrow pointed at him with the words ‘give me detention’ above his head.

“Well, aren’t you and Draco friends,” Ron asked.

“I think so.” Harry thought of Draco as his friend whether the feeling was mutual, he didn’t know. “There’s a chance he’s—” He stopped, the door to the classroom slamming shut. The talking in the room went silent as a giant blob of pink walked towards the front of the class, a sickly sweet perfume following her. It instantly reminded Harry of all the flowers at Mrs. Weasley’s funeral and the woman he’d been sitting next to.

"Well, good afternoon!" she said in a loud sweet voice, her hands clasped in front of her chest, and one of the biggest fake smiles a person could wear plastered onto her face. She scanned the room, no doubt waiting for someone to say something in reply to her words. No one took the bait. Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly as the silence dragged on. She gave a strange short high-pitched laugh. “Now that simply won’t do class. No, I believe the correct response is ‘Good Afternoon, Professor Umbridge.’ We shall try it again. Good afternoon, class!”

The class answered in uninterested, partial replies of ‘good afternoon.’

“Yeah it was,” Ron said under his breath. Harry snickered.

"See! That wasn't too difficult, now was it," she asked sweetly. Again, no one answered. "Wands away and quills out, please." 

"Think we could push the curse to work a little faster," Ron asked.

"Maybe," Harry grinned. "Hermione might know the source." If she didn't, the shadow might, and if he didn't, he might be able to get it out of Dumbledore. 

Neville was looking at them with mild horror.

Umbridge turned her back to the class, which Harry thought was very brave of her, and started writing the goals for the year onto the board. 

'Is it bad I kind of want the Death Eater who was impersonating our Defense teacher last year back? He was at least interesting.' 

Someone in the class laughed. Some of the students started looking around, no doubt trying to find out who had laughed. Umbridge too turned and stared at them. She let out another one of those choked, high-pitched laughs. "And what is it that one of you find so funny?" 

'Keep your thoughts to yourself right now!'

Harry blinked. 'Sorry, I didn't know that I wasn’t.' He frowned, looking around the room. 'Are you trying to attack Umbridge again?' 

'I'm merely gathering information.'

'Is that why you haven't responded since Potions? You've been watching her?'

'She hardly deserves a fraction of my attention let alone a full lunch and class period,' he chuckled. 

'So, why haven't you been answering me?'

Umbridge turned back to the board and went back to writing the goals. 

A minute ticked by, Harry still waiting for a reply. 'Hey!'

'What!?'

'Do you share a mental bond with anyone else?'

'…. No. Just you.' 

'Good.' 

"Now then! If you would all just take out your copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard." She held a copy of the book up like she was worried some of the students might not know what book she was talking about. 

Students began muttering and going through their bags. Harry heard more than a few books getting dropped onto the desktops loudly. 

'I'd rather be back in Divination getting my death predicted another ten times,' he mentally groaned.

'You aren't going to use me to distract yourself from class.' 

'I've yet to fail a class for not knowing its goals. Besides, can you even call this a class? What exactly is she teaching us? How to write? I learned that years ago.' 

Harry heard a soft snicker and grinned. 

"Now that everyone is prepared, please turn to page five in your book and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners.' There will be no talking." 

'She realizes we're Gryffindor right,' Harry asked. 'I don't think any of us have ever been quiet except when we fall asleep in History of Magic.'

'Stop! She's going to notice me!' 

Harry raised an eyebrow at that. How could he make Umbridge see the shadow when even he couldn't right now? Even if he was visible, she was sitting at her desk with a smug look on her face, clearly in her own world believing a room full of Gryffindor and Slytherin were going to remain silent for its entirety. Reality was going to be hard on her when she realized teaching was never that easy. 

'Just humor me for the next minute.' 

'I was humoring you.' 

'What has gotten into you?' He was mentally laughing. 

'I'm bored… and I like your laugh.' He couldn't believe he'd just admitted that. Well, maybe provoking the shadow would result in him lashing out in some weird way and it could accidentally hit Umbridge. 

He sighed when the shadow offered no response and flipped open the book. _You knew it couldn't return your feelings_. It had probably broken trying to figure out what Harry was talking about and how to respond. He wanted to pull the pendant out, but near Umbridge was the last place to risk it. 

He read the first sentence in the chapter, his eyes glazing over. This was worse than History of Magic. He reread the first sentence five more times before giving up. The harder he tried to make the words sink in, the less he understood what the sentence was trying to explain. His attention span drifted along with his eyes, first to Ron who seemed to have slipped into a coma, then Neville, who looked like he was about to get into a fistfight with the book. The other students' faces he could see wore similar expressions. Crabbe and Goyle to his delight both had turned an beautiful shade of purple, as if the book was sucking out their souls. 

Movement in the corner of his eye made him turn. Hermione had her arm up, patiently waiting for Umbridge to acknowledge her. 

_If Umbridge thinks Hermione is going to give up she’s stupider than I thought_. He nudged Ron and motioned to Hermione with his head.

"What? She's always asking questions."

"Still more interesting than the book." 

"No kidding." 

Umbridge seemed intent on ignoring Hermione, but Harry's whispers to Ron had caused others to notice. Soon there was a murmur of conversation. Harry swore he heard someone say they were taking bets on who would crack first. 

"I believe I instructed all of you that there would be no talking," she said. 

"But a student has a question, surely as our teacher, it is your job to answer our questions." Harry thought the voice might have been Aderes’s. 

"There will be no speaking unless your hand is raised, and you are called on," she said. "What is your question, dear?" 

"I'm rather confused," Hermione said. 

Ron's mouth dropped open, and he leaned forward.

"About which part," Umbridge asked. 

"There's nothing in the goal list about actually casting defense spells." 

Harry looked at the board at the same time as everyone else. There was a rush of whispers.

"I said silence," Umbridge said, her voice rising slightly. "If you've any questions about the class as a whole, save them for after class." 

"But surely—"

"Dear, what is your name," Umbridge asked.

"Hermione Granger," she said.

"Miss Granger. There isn't a single reason for any students to use defensive spells in the classroom. Why you'll never need those."

"Wait, were not going to be using magic at all," Ron shouted. 

The students were all talking now. 

"Students raise their hands," Umbridge said, a hint of anger creeping into her voice. 

Ron's hand went up as did a number of other students in the room, including Hermione's again.

_Hermione can't be the only one who caught this. _

"Yes, Miss Granger?" 

"Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells. We have O.W.L.S. this year! How do you expect us to pass them without practice?" 

"The Ministry has--"

"The Ministry has no authorization over the curriculum taught at Hogwarts." This time Harry was positive it was Aderes speaking.

Umbridge's eyes bulged, and she stormed towards the new student. "What is your name," she demanded.

"Aderes Keaira. Yes,_ that_ Keaira," he said when Umbridge stopped in her tracks. 

"Oh," Ron said. "No wonder that guy is so smart." 

"Who is he," Harry asked.

"He's William Keaira’s son. His father is the head of the Unspeakables at the Ministry. Unspeakables don't answer to Fudge." 

"Oh, wow." Harry hadn’t known there was a department in the Ministry that didn't have to listen to Minister of Magic. "So, what are Unspeakables?"

"They're these super-secret people who work in the Department of mysteries."

_Well, that explained everything Ron. Thanks._

"Have all Hogwarts’ parents been notified of this change? Was it agreed upon?" 

"Okay, I kind of like this guy," Ron said, grinning. 

"T, theory should be more than enough," Umbridge shouted. 

"Are you telling me the Ministry, who I remind you is not supposed to interfere with any schooling and turn education into a political matter. They decided to implement a new form of teaching without testing it out first, and to introduce it to _all _years at the same time? Shouldn't this have been tested? At the least, implemented only in the first year and then continued forward rather than risk students failing their O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.S? Or did it simply not occur to Fudge the implications of forcing all Hogwarts students to be lab rats for a year? I cannot wait to write my father."

"Nonsense! The Ministry of Magic simply wants what is perfect for the students at this school!"

"Have you even reached qualified teaching status," Aderes asked, sounding bored. 

"Are you accusing me of being a fraud," Umbridge shrieked. 

"Theory won't do us any good in the real world," Harry said loudly enough for Umbridge to hear. He wasn't going to let Aderes have all the fun. 

"This is a school," Umbridge raged. 

"That is supposed to prepare students!" 

"There is nothing to prepare for!" 

'Calm down!' 

Harry barely heard the words. How could the Ministry think to do this, now of all times? Even if Voldemort hadn't risen, just last year there'd been a Death Eater in their school. Before that they'd had Dementors running through the school. A giant forest surrounded the school, filled with killer spiders and other things Harry didn’t want to know about! 

"Mr. Potter, sit down!"

‘Harry.’

"No!" Cedric’s dead body flashed in front of his eyes. "You're going to get us all killed!"

"No one is out to kill children!"

"Lord Voldemort doesn't care how old you are! I couldn't even talk yet and he entered my house and tried to kill me! Cedric was our age now and Voldemort killed him!" 

"Ten points from Gryffindor! The Dark Wizard is dead!"

"He's alive and everyone knows it! The Ministry is just too much of a coward to admit it!" 

"Harry," Ron said.

'Harry! Focus!' 

"That is a lie-"

"It is NOT a lie! I saw him regain his powers! I fought him!" How could this woman so blatantly lie about everything going on around them? How could she take from them, the one class that could keep them alive? Was Fudge actually one of Voldemort’s followers? A new rush of rage filled him at the thought of that.

"Detention Mr. Potter," Umbridge shouted as she moved back to her desk, her eyes mere pinpoints as she glared at Harry. "That is a complete lie and if anyone comes around telling you that some kind of dark wizard is back in power, come to me and I will tell you otherwise. The Ministry of Magic guarantees that you are not in danger from any kind of dark wizard!"

"So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he," he asked, his eyes flaring. He clenched both of his fist. He wanted this woman, no he wanted the Ministry, dead.

‘Harry, what are you—'

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident," she replied just as venomously. 

"Voldemort killed him, and you know it," he hissed in Parseltongue.

Professor Umbridge went silent, her face paling. The other students began grabbing their things and shuffling out of the room.

"Mr. Potter, come here," she said in a deathly calm voice. Harry gladly kicked the chair he'd been sitting in aside and walked towards her. Ron jumped and moved out of Harry's way.

‘If you hurt her, you’ll be in Azkaban!' He grabbed Harry’s arm. 

'Let go!'

A book went flying across the room and slammed into the blackboard. Harry blinked, some of his rage fading. Umbridge screamed and dived to the floor, the book falling harmlessly to the floor. 

"You think you can attack teachers, Mr. Potter," she demanded from the safety beneath her desk.

Hermione grabbed Harry’s other hand, Draco his shoulder. Ron started towards them.

"What in the world… do you under-taught students believe you can actually take me on?" There was an insane look in her eye. "I will not stand for this! You are students under my teaching and the Ministry of Magic-"

"Do you really think we care about the Ministry anymore," Harry asked, still speaking in Parseltongue. 

Umbridge grabbed her wand and pointed it at Harry. 

"Harry snap out of it," Hermione tried.

'As much as I'm enjoying the spectacle, you can't do this.' Harry froze as the shadow’s arms wrapped around him and the bond opened. There was a rush of calm and Harry felt his body sag against the shadow, his knees buckling. Draco held him up and Harry saw someone push past him. 

"To think I have to spare _your_ life today," he growled. 

Harry thought he saw a brilliant light. It was gone just as fast. Or maybe he was. He felt like he was falling. 

**(TBC)**


	19. Nascent Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, at least this story is coming along, because really. I’m about to put Enticement into a choke hold and shake it. Also, I want pizza… I got pizza, I also got jalapeno cheese bread.… It’s an addiction, I swear.  
Right. I’m out of it. Thank you, everyone who’s so far taken the time to review, favorite, kudos, etc. I would not be the writer I am today without this story. Lament was my first long multi chapter fanfic, so I’m very happy so many people are enjoying it.  
For those who are in a panic, yes. I am working on Enticement, Harry and Tom are fighting with me over what happens next.  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever. Tom Riddle and Harry Potter, Harry Potter and Tom Riddle.  
Notes: (X) pov change and or time jump

Chapter 19: Nascent Feelings

Harry blinked, the ceiling of the infirmary slowly coming into focus. He had no idea how long he'd been there or why. The last thing he remembered was… an overwhelming amount of rage. The emotion had consumed him, creeping into every part of his mind and body until he could no longer control it. The room around him, the students, his friends. All of them had vanished from his sight. He knew they'd all been there; his friends had been holding him. All he'd seen though was a single path before him, with Umbridge alone on the other side. Nothing else had mattered, but stopping that high-pitched laugh, that awful voice.

He shuddered and tried to push the anger away. There was no Umbridge here. Just Madam Pomfrey. He needed to stay calm.

Thunder shook the infirmary, lightning illuminating the room for a few seconds before everything went dark again. He pulled the duvet, frowning when it didn't move. He tried again, with no results. He didn't think Madam Pomfrey had bewitched the blanket. That would be stupid. He leaned towards the other side of the bed and froze, his hand touching something solid.

_What in the…?_ A mix of fear and curiosity filled him. He pushed on the object, his heart beating faster as he realized it was an arm. But this wasn't the shadow's arm. It was a person.

Harry didn't think twice. He threw himself to the bed's edge and climbed off in what had to be some sort of record somewhere. He had no idea where his wand was and took a step forward to look for it. "Aahh!" He turned in midair and fell, landing on his bottom, wincing. "Shite." He grabbed the thing that had tripped him and scowled. "Stupid bag…." He untangled the handle from around his ankle.

His breath caught when he saw movement, a darker shadow amongst the darkness of the room.

"Where are you going?" The voice was tired and a tad grumpy.

Harry let out a breath. He knew that voice. "I didn't know who was in my bed," he said, feeling stupid.

"Who else would want to share a bed with you," the shadow asked, voicing Harry's exact thoughts.

"I thought I felt skin, and I panicked!"

"Is that a problem," he asked, sounding amused.

Harry shrugged. He wasn't sure of anything anymore. His life was changing at an alarming rate and he needed things to slow down before he went mad. "I just didn't expect it and I'm already on edge. I can't even figure out what happened in Defense. One minute I was okay and then I just kept getting hit with these waves of anger."

"Yeah. I noticed that when I opened the bond the rest of the way." Another round of thunder, but no lightning. No, that wasn't true. He could see the lightning shining through the windows at the other end of the room. "Get back into bed."

Using the bed, Harry guided himself back under the covers. The shadow's arm snaked around his waist and pulled him to his chest.

"You definitely have skin," Harry blurted, his face burning. He turned over, the shadow laughing.

"I never claimed otherwise. I promise I didn't steal it from anyone." Harry blinked. That hadn't even occurred to him. "And I promise, I was born and raised with this skin."

Scowling, Harry followed the shadow's arm until he found his face. He touched his cheek, unsure of how to understand this. While the shadow's form was always warm and solid, it was still a shadow. Now he could feel a different kind of warmth coming from him. "Is this why you weren't answering me during class? You were busy… growing a real human body?" Harry never thought a sentence like that would ever come out of his mouth. "Wait, did you say born and raised?"

"Did you think… Actually, if this surprises you, I don't want to know what you thought." He removed Harry's hand from his face.

"You never once told me you had a body, how was I supposed to know!?"

"I thought it was self-explanatory. Do you know of a single consciousness that can separate itself from its object of origin and survive," he asked, the annoyance in his voice growing.

"You saw the people who raised me," Harry protested. "I don't know half of what's in the Wizarding world!"

He sighed and before Harry knew what was going on; the shadow pulled him close again until every bit of their bodies were touching. "It is your own fault for not trying to find out. But right now, it is three in the morning and I promise you do not want to deal with me if I don't manage at least seven hours of sleep."

"F, fine." The shadow leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodnight."

_Are we?_ He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but the shadow had kissed him. They were sharing a bed. Their bodies were touching, practically on top of each other. He swallowed.

"Does me being human scare you that much?"

Harry leaned forward, kissing the shadow back. Somehow, he found his lips on the first try. They were soft and pleasantly warm. The shadow's hand went to the back of Harry's head, deepening the kiss.

"I'm glad you missed me," he snickered. A weight lifted from Harry's shoulders. There was no way they were kissing like that and not dating. He buried his face into the shadow's neck. The shadow wrapped his other arm around Harry. "I've missed you too."

**(X)**

"You awake, Potter?" Harry was, but he'd been pretending otherwise. The thought of opening his eyes scared him. He wanted to know what the shadow looked like but didn't either. Once he saw his human form, there was no going back. "If you don't get up now, you'll miss breakfast."

_Fine…_ He opened his eyes. The only person in the room was Madam Pomfrey. There was no sign of the shadow or another person, nor did it look like anyone had been sleeping with him. He let out a breath, feeling both sad and relieved.

"Take this," she said, handing him a Calming Draught.

"Thanks." He swallowed the potion and handed the bottle back to her. He felt like he might need a few more of those to last the week.

"Try not to stress yourself out so badly so soon. You have all year to panic over O.W.L.S."

"R, right." Was that the excuse going around? That he'd collapsed from stress? Maybe that's all it had been. If he'd attacked Umbridge or anyone else, wouldn't he be handcuffed or something to the bed or his wand destroyed? But his wand was lying on the bedside table, his bag on the floor, just waiting for him to grab it. 'What happened yesterday?' He winced. For some reason, the bond felt raw.

'Before or after you made a complete fool of yourself?'

_That was fast._ Considering the shadow's lengthy, silent treatments from the day before. 'After.'

'I took pity on you and rearranged some of Umbridge's memories so you wouldn't be accused of attempted assault,' the shadow growled, his annoyance and anger clear. 'With all the witnesses, I could only do so much.'

'Shite…' He bent down and grabbed his bag and then put his wand into his pocket.

'That's actually the least of your worries,' he said, his annoyance giving way to worry. 'I was trying to find where all that rage had come from and I think I found it.'

'Where?'

Hesitation. 'You're not going to like it.'

'I don't like it now,' he said, angrily.

'I know. Are you coming down for breakfast?'

'Yeah.' He'd slept through dinner and his stomach refused to miss breakfast. 'What time is it, anyway?'

'7:45.'

'I need to grab my books for today and change.'

'Okay.'

Harry made it to the dorm and changed quickly. For the first time, he made sure he looked somewhat presentable. He changed out his books for the ones he'd need for the day and left for the Great Hall as quickly as he could. As usual, he did his best to ignore the muttered comments and looks as he made his way towards the Gryffindor table. He dropped down next to Ron on the bench, Hermione sitting across from them.

"… Are you okay," Ron asked. "You look…" He frowned and put a spoon-full of cereal into his mouth.

"What?" He grabbed some toast from a basket. He thought he'd looked fine when he'd checked his reflection, not that he'd given it too much time. He'd just made sure his hair wasn't any worse than it usually was.

"You're pale, and you have bags under your eyes," Hermione said.

"Do I?" He pulled off a small piece of the toast and placed it into his mouth. After the evening he had, it wasn't surprising that he looked bad. "I slept all night."

Hermione gave a quick look around and leaned in towards Harry. "What happened," she asked in a whisper.

"Dehydration can also cause bags under your eyes," Aderes said. He put a glass of water in front of Harry and sat down on his left side.

"You're better than," Malfoy asked, sitting down next to Ron. "I see you can walk again on your own."

Harry felt his face flush. "That wasn't my fault. He made me go to sleep."

"And here I was thinking you'd started fainting again for attention."

Harry gave Draco a grim look before dropping it and smirking. "I think I have plenty of attention this year already, don't you?"

"Wasn't sure you ever got enough."

Hermione bit her lip, looking back and forth between the two.

Draco found some blueberries and began mixing them into a cup of yogurt. Ron looked like he was going to gag.

"So… about yesterday," Hermione started again.

"I see you stopped talking in Parseltongue," Draco said.

"It wasn't intentional yesterday." Though he had been randomly speaking in the snake language with the shadow. Maybe that's why he'd slipped into it so easily without a snake being present.

"Hey—" Hermione started.

"Draco," Aderes said so loud Draco dropped his spoon. The yogurt splattered onto the table, some of it spraying onto his robe and Ron's.

"Hey," Ron shouted. He started wiping at his robe frantically, like it was some foul substance.

"It's just yogurt," Draco snapped.

"For goodness' sake Ron." Hermione pulled her wand out and pointed it at Ron. "Scourgify." The yogurt vanished.

Draco used his wand to clean up the mess on the table as well as the bits that'd gotten onto his robe.

Harry noticed Aderes watching the three. He was shaking his head like he couldn't believe yogurt could send anyone into a frenzy. Yogurt probably shouldn't be capable of such things, but where Harry's life was concerned, the most harmless of items could easily become deadly.

"You get used to it," he said just loud enough for Aderes to hear. The Slytherin raised an eyebrow at Harry. "What you did yesterday, telling Umbridge off, thank you… And I hope my… weird outburst doesn't make you avoid Hermione."

Aderes snorted. "I think you had me beat there. Though I'm not entirely sure why you got involved at all. I had the situation under control."

"I was just trying to back you up, but…" Aderes didn't know half of what was going on. He didn't even know where the Slytherin stood when it came to Voldemort and his rise back into power, and he couldn't ruin Hermione's chance at a decent boyfriend. "I'll keep my mouth shut from now on when you're talking."

A frown crossed Aderes's face just as Ron pushed Harry with his shoulder. "Can you believe our schedule today?"

"No worse than yesterday," Harry said. He was glad for the distraction. It was so easy to get lost in Aderes's eyes.

"Well, there's no History of Magic today," Harry offered. _Or Defense. _He hated to think that way, but after yesterday, he needed a break from Defense and Umbridge. He also needed to find out what the shadow had done in scrambling Umbridge's memories. Had it been anyone else, he'd have been mad, but Harry couldn't get himself to worry about Umbridge. Whatever the shadow did to her, she deserved it.

"Yeah, but double Charms, Transfiguration, and Care of Magical Creatures," he groaned.

"Herbology isn't," Harry said, grinning.

"One class," Ron said, sighing.

"I warned both of you that our fifth year was going to be difficult," Hermione huffed. "Maybe if you'd listen for once in your lives, you would have spent the summer studying with me instead of fighting!"

Ron and Harry stared. Harry opened his mouth to say something, then decided against it. Hermione didn't understand what he'd gone through over the summer and he wasn't going to try to explain it, not right now.

'Careful.'

'I'm not the one—' he stopped himself, anger rushing him. 'Forget it.'

'Harry—'

'No. At what point was I even mildly in my right mind to try and study? I couldn't even manage a full day of classes yesterday!' He didn't know why the shadow taking Hermione's side angered him so much, but if anyone needed to be 'careful' right now, it was the shadow, not him. He could hear the shadow sigh in his mind.

He grabbed two muffins, wrapped them in a napkin and dropped them into his bag before standing up. His friends looked surprised at his sudden movement.

"I'm going to Charms," he muttered. 'And don't bother coming with or interrupting me.' He stood up, looks being shared amongst the remaining four.

"Class isn't for another fifteen minutes, why would you go early?" Ron looked like he might be sick.

"I didn't ask you to come with," he said. He hated that he was so annoyed, that everything was making him mad. Things like this wouldn't have bothered him last year. _Because Cedric's dead…?_ He frowned and started out of the Great Hall, his friends calling after him. Where had worrying about grades gotten them? Cedric with all his good grades was still dead, and Harry who was lucky to have made it to his fifth year was again, somehow, alive.

"So, do you plan out these dramatic scenes or do they just happen?"

Harry turned, glaring and ready to fight until he saw who was actually coming after him. "What do you want?"

"I deserve an explanation," Aderes said, stopping next to him.

"No, you don't. You're Hermione's and Draco's friend, not mine. I don't even know you." Aderes's eyes narrowed and somehow, he looked oddly familiarly that way. "It's nothing against you," he added. _Why am I being such an arse?_ He leaned against the wall and took a breath. "Sorry." For some reason that feeling of rage seemed to be lurking under every emotion. "I don't think I've been handling Cedric's death too well or Mrs. Weasley's." _Why did I just blurt that out to a stranger?_ He didn't need to explain himself, not to Aderes, despite what the Slytherin claimed. The only ones he should be apologizing to was to his friends.

"Hmph." Aderes leaned against the wall so there were only inches between them. Harry looked up, their eyes meeting. "You're going to get yourself in trouble."

Harry couldn't understand how someone could look so cool just leaning against a wall. He was doing the exact same thing, and he was positive he looked nothing like that. Exhausted maybe, but not cool. "I'm already in trouble." The words broke the anger he was feeling. How could he tell the shadow to leave him alone after all he'd done for Harry? 'I'm so sorry. I don't know what's going through my head anymore. I think I might be losing my mind.'

'If you think you can speak to me that way, yes you are.'

'I don't expect you to forgive me. You said you knew where all this rage was coming from?'

Harry felt their minds link and felt the shadow's mild surprise. 'I didn't think…' he trailed off, but with their mental link there, Harry knew how the sentence ended.

'Who's influencing me,' he asked. He didn't even bother to try to hide his fear.

The shadow returned the bond to its half-closed state. 'It'll be okay. I'll talk with Dumbledore; we'll figure something out.'

'That's not an answer!'

'Just trust me, please. I'm going to try to get the source of the rage blocked, okay?'

"Hey." Harry's head snapped up, Aderes frowning at him. His hand was resting on Harry's upper arm. "Are you okay?"

"Y, yeah…" He couldn't tell Aderes he was fighting with his suddenly acquired a human body shadow of a boyfriend about some source of rage he was trying to block. Even the Wizarding world had its limits to what it accepted. And he really shouldn't be letting Aderes touch him either. "I'll talk to you later." He stepped back, Aderes's hand falling to his side, and headed for class.

Harry couldn't believe all the work they had to do. Everything seemed to be about their O.W.L.S, which he knew was important, but wasn't there a limit? Did the teachers forget that they had to survive the whole year in order to take the exams at the end? At the rate they were piling homework on them, he was pretty sure they'd forgotten. He figured about a good half of his classmates would probably end up having nervous breakdowns or jump from the Astronomy tower long before the actual tests got there, but then again. He was one to talk about being overly dramatic, and things were just getting started.

'Any luck?' He'd tried his best to remain silent throughout Charms and Transfiguration so he wouldn't have any outbursts. The other Gryffindor students whispered about him as usual, but none of them seemed any more scared of him than they had on the Hogwarts' express thank goodness. Ron and Hermione had remained near him but kept to themselves.

Now that they were outside walking towards Hagrid's hut, Harry felt somewhat good. It was nice out, with just a hint of a breeze. The rain from the day before had mostly dried up, and the other students around them were laughing. It was probably the most normal day Harry had enjoyed in months.

'I think so.'

Relief flooded him. 'I don't know what you did but thank you. And not just for this, for everything. I don't know how I would have survived this summer without you.'

'You wouldn't have.'

'Probably not,' he agreed. They arrived at Hagrid's hut. Harry didn't see him anywhere. Professor Grubbly-Plank was standing behind a long table placing handfuls of something into cups. 'You promise Hagrid's okay?'

'I do.'

"Are you done pouting Potter," Draco asked, joining the trio.

"I'm not…" He sighed. "There's something going on, okay? He said he fixed it so… hopefully my random outbursts are over with." He'd give Draco a better explanation when no one could overhear their conversation.

"Did he say what?"

Harry shook his head.

They sat down together in the grass, Hermione checking to make sure it was dry first.

"Where's your plus one," Ron asked.

"Aderes?" Ron nodded. "Some girls clawed him away from me near first floor stairway."

"And you just left him there," Harry asked, laughing.

"I'm under no obligation to keep him safe from hordes of girls unless there are love potions involved."

"Must be nice to need protection from love potions," Ron muttered.

"Don't be stupid," Hermione snapped. "Love potions are awful and should be outlawed. They strip away a person's free will and force them into a relationship they would otherwise want nothing to do with."

Aderes sat down next to Harry and let out a sigh, his hair slightly messed up. "I'm glad someone has some common sense."

Harry stared at the Slytherin, wondering why he'd sat beside him and not Hermione. Did he plan on continuing their conversation from earlier? He hoped not, because he wasn't telling him anything. Aderes was an outsider where Harry's life and Voldemort were concerned.

"It's no better than using the Imperius Curse," she said.

"Alright, I think everyone's here," Professor Grubbly-plank said. She scanned the group of students, looked at a piece of parchment in front of her and back. "Now then, can anyone tell me what these creatures on the table are?" Upon the table lay what looked like a bundle of branches. He almost jumped when he saw one of them start moving.

Hermione and Aderes's hands went up.

He wondered if this was how all the classes Hermione and Aderes shared went, at least in the ones they were actually being taught and spoken to.

Professor Grubbly-plank looked down at her list again and then at the students. "You're the new student, Aderes Keaira?" He nodded. "You can tell us what they are… Hermione, do you know what they do?"

Hermione nodded eagerly.

"They're Bowtruckles," Aderes said, looking over the would-be branches. Harry's heart fluttered at the sound of his voice.

_What in the hell was that?_ It wasn't like this was the first time he'd heard Aderes speak, but something about his voice suddenly resonated with Harry.

"Correct, 5 points for Slytherin and Hermione?"

"They're tree-guardians that usually live in wand-trees and eat woodlice. If they have a chance though—"

"They'll eat fairy eggs," Aderes cut in, his tone playful. Hermione grinned at him.

"That's right the both of you… 10 points for Gryffindor and another 5 for Slytherin," she said with an approving nod. "Bowtruckles are pretty gentle for the most part, but they can get pretty nasty if you make them angry. Those sharp fingers of theirs' can easily rip someone's eye out, so be careful. Take a cup with woodlice in it and one Bowtruckle. I want a complete sketch of one top to bottom, body parts labeled all by the end of the lesson. Three students per creature, you may begin." With that said, she nodded and took a few steps back to let the students form into their groups.

"How are we going to do this," Harry asked. They were going to need one more person if the five of them planned on staying together. The easiest solution was to drag Neville into their mix. If there was one person, they could count on not having a partner for anything, it was Neville.

"Draco and I can form our own group," Aderes said. "We don't need a third."

Pansy stopped. She'd just been about to take a seat next to Draco. "Who am I supposed to group with then," she demanded.

"Crabbe and Goyle for all I care," Aderes said.

The cold and detached tone of Aderes's voice was surprising. Even when he'd spoken to Umbridge the day before there had been some emotion in his voice. He spoke to Pansy like she was nothing.

"Professor Grubbly-plank said groups of three," Pansy said, stomping her foot.

"Fine," Aderes said, his eyes narrowing slightly. He grabbed Harry's hand. "Harry's our third member."

"W, what?!" Harry's body instantly caught fire. He tried pulling his hand out from Aderes's but couldn't even get his fingers to twitch. Draco started laughing, Harry shooting a glare at him. He of all people should know how bad this way. If the shadow just happened to appear and caught Aderes holding his hand, there was no telling how he might react.

"You're horrible!"

"I never claimed otherwise," he said, smiling. "Now do all of us a favor, go away, and preferably, don't come back." Pansy's face turned scarlet, and she ran off. Harry had no doubt that she'd gone somewhere to cry. "Pathetic."

_Was he always like this?_ He'd been so nice the day before in Snape's room, and he hadn't been rude during breakfast. Maybe Pansy had done something to him? It wouldn't be that far of a stretch. Pansy did plenty of stupid things.

"Aderes?"

The Slytherin turned, his eyes now longer narrowed. "Hmm?"

"My hand?" He needed to get his hand released before the shadow saw and… he shuddered at the thought.

"What about it?" He lifted Harry's hand and examined it, his eyes taking in every inch. "I see no problems here."

"You're holding it," Harry said, sure he was going to burst into flames and die on the spot. Why was Aderes teasing him like this? And why had he chosen Harry to be in his group? Hermione was just as close and much smarter. He was willing to bet she could draw better too.

He squeezed Harry's hand, his amusement clear. "And?"

"And… my… my boyfriend will kill us if he finds out I'm holding hands with someone else," Harry managed. He really was going to die from embarrassment if this kept up, but better embarrassment than downright murder.

"What," Ron screamed, his quill falling out of his hand.

Harry muttered a curse. Could Ron have been any louder? Other students were staring and, as always, whispering. Why couldn't he have one day, just one day, where everyone's attention was on someone else?

Aderes raised one of his perfectly formed eyebrows. "You have a boyfriend? Funny, I haven't heard anyone say as such."

"I haven't told anyone," he whispered. "I don't want my life dragged through the mud any more than it already is."

"Or maybe you're lying. If your boyfriend is so possessive of you that you aren't allowed to hold hands with anyone else, I'd like to think everyone in the school would know about him already."

"It's not that simple…"

"If he's worried about the world judging him for being in a relationship with you, then he's not worthy of being your boyfriend."

"That has nothing to do with it," he screamed. He jerked his hand away, Aderes smirking. "If he could do those sorts of things, he would, but he can't, so belt it and keep your thoughts to yourself!" He hoped no one had heard the reason for his yelling. He didn't want the world to know about the shadow. If others knew about him, they might try to take him away and Harry would lose him, plain and simple. He may be the only one crazy enough to want to be with the shadow after everything he'd done, but if the shadow had a choice, Harry was sure he'd choose someone, anyone else.

"So, he isn't real, or he's a ghost," Aderes chuckled.

"He is real," he said, his voice weakening as he remembered the feel of the shadow's skin. The kiss they'd shared. "Hermione, come deal with your boyfriend," he begged her. More students were whispering, and almost every girl in Slytherin was giving him the darkest looks they could.

"He's not my boyfriend," she said matter of fact. She sat her Bowtruckle down and opened her book without even bothering to look at him.

"Ugh…"

"Tell you what. Introduce me to your boyfriend and I'll stop harassing you. Until then," he grabbed Harry's hand again. "You're mine."

"What!? I didn't agree to that!"

"Here," Draco said, setting the Bowtruckle down.

Aderes stared at the Bowtruckle as if memorized and dropped Harry's hand. He leaned forward, holding one hand out to the creature. It hesitated a second before walking towards him and climbed into his hand. Grinning, he used his free hand to hold woodlice up to it. The Bowtruckle took one and started nibbling on it.

Harry took his chance and crawled away from Aderes and over to Hermione. "What was that," he demanded in a harsh whisper. "I thought you two hit it off."

"We did," she said, looking up from her own Bowtruckle. "We're friends."

"That's not what I meant," he hissed.

"Oh, he was quite clear yesterday he was after you, not me." She added a leaf to the top of her sketch.

"And you couldn't warn me?!"

"I didn't think it was an issue."

"Of course, it's an issue!"

"Well, I didn't know you were dating anyone," she said, making a face. "You never told me."

Harry sighed and dropped his head into his hands. 'You can't kill him. I will deal with this, somehow. I will get him to stop.'

'Hmm?'

'Aderes. You can't attack him. His father is the head of the Unspeakables. They might come after you.'

'Huh?'

'… Are you even paying attention?'

'Yeah. You're fine. Don't worry about it. I'll handle it.'

Harry blinked a few times, the rest of the bond shutting. _What just happened?_ How could the shadow abandon him at a time like this? Sure, Aderes could only do so much, but that didn't mean the shadow wouldn't retaliate with fury when he realized what was going on. Maybe he could use this time to convince Aderes to stay away before the shadow figured anything out. He glanced at the Slytherin.

Aderes was completely absorbed in the Bowtruckle, feeding it woodlice with one hand, and sketching it with the other. He had a feeling even if he yelled in the Slytherin's ear he wouldn't notice.

At some point Draco had joined Hermione and was sketching from her Bowtruckle. _He knows the shadow. How can he not be worried about this?_

Ron was the only one who kept sneaking wide eye looks at Harry. At least he understood the danger and importance of all of this. Probably because the shadow had attacked him already. He moved towards Ron, making sure to stay out of Aderes's line of sight.

"You have a boyfriend and you didn't tell me," Ron demanded in a whisper when Harry was next to him.

"I didn't know myself until last night," he said just as quietly. "The shadow kissed me."

Ron stared at him like he'd just claimed he could remove his head and put it back on. "That's not a real boyfriend," he protested.

"Turns out it is," he said, opening his book to the page with all the labels for the Bowtruckle's body. "He was human last night. All human, and… I kissed him back so…." It was strange saying it out loud, even if it was to Ron. Even when they'd been trying to find dates for the Yule ball, they'd hardly ever talked about girls. Now he was over here telling his best friend he'd kissed a guy.

"You mean some git hitched a ride in your necklace and had a laugh by throwing me into a wall?"

"I… I guess?" He didn't know how the necklace worked or anything else about what was going on.

"… Well, who do you like more?"

"Huh?"

"Which one would you rather be with? Some weirdo who mailed himself to you inside a necklace or Aderes?"

"I don't even know Aderes!"

"Will you two be quiet and do your assignment," Hermione yelled at them.

The two muttered an apology and began sketching.

Harry's sketch didn't turn out too bad. He was by no means an artist, and with every thought running through his head, it was a miracle he even managed to add ink to the paper, but you could at least tell what it was. He handed the drawing over to Professor Grubbly-plank and rejoined Ron and Hermione in the grass. He could see Aderes's perfect sketch to his side, completely forgotten. He'd never seen anyone so obsessed with a magical creature, except maybe for Hagrid. It worked out for him, at least. As long as Aderes's focus was on the magical creature, Harry didn't need to worry about him trying to hold his hand.

"Kind of weird," Ron muttered. "It's like the rest of the world doesn't exist."

"That's a good thing for me right now."

"I guess. He reminds me of Charlie."

"I thought Charlie didn't care about dating?"

"Does that look to you like a guy who cares about dating people?" He motioned to Aderes. The Bowtruckle had climbed into his hair and was crawling through it. Aderes was grinning from ear to ear.

"I guess not," Harry said, feeling both relieved and a little disappointed. If Aderes cared more for magical creatures than humans though, he wouldn't have to worry about the shadow retaliating. That would be best for all of them. Though, he couldn't deny how nice it had felt to be wanted by someone so good looking for a few minutes.


	20. The Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it’s chapter 20. Finally. (I don’t know why I’m saying that, because this is technically only Chapter 8 in the original version.) Some of it is fluff, a lot of it is solid plot setting. I don’t know if I should be proud of myself or beat myself. It’s not like it makes a difference either way. Just kind of surreal.  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay. Harry Potter is dating Tom Riddle. Remus and Sirius are dating. If you don’t like it, why are you still reading this at chapter 20? I mean, really?  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

"You think Hagrid's alright," Ron asked.

"_He_ said he was."

"And you believe him," Ron asked in disbelief.

"Yeah." Harry stretched out on his back, the clouds drifting through the sky. Aderes no longer seemed to be a threat. Now that they were an hour or so into class. The only time the Slytherin had acknowledged anyone was so, he could take the other Bowtruckle from Hermione when she and Draco had finished sketching it. Both creatures were walking over him like this was something normal for them, and Aderes seemed absolutely content with that. In other words, Harry didn't need to worry about the Slytherin randomly grabbing his hand right now or getting involved with their conversation. He glanced at Ron when he didn't continue the conversation. "What?"

"Nothing," Ron muttered under his breath.

"What should we do about Umbridge," Harry asked. Best to change the subject before things went sour, and they ended up fighting. Again. "We have to practice." Even if by some miracle Voldemort's plan to regain his powers had failed, they still had O.W.L.S. And really, the chances of Voldemort only regaining his powers for a single night were ridiculous. It would be nice, but Harry's life was never that simple, which meant he needed to be able to protect himself, not to mention those around him.

"We could practice by ourselves," Ron said.

They wouldn't get in trouble for practicing Defense spells in the Gryffindor tower. People did it all the time. It was more of an issue with space than anything else. Some of the spells would require a few feet in between the casters and it'd be an even bigger problem if someone accidentally walked in between them when they casted a spell or if a spell went wrong.

There was also the dueling club, but Harry suspected they'd rather disband than ever let him join again, even if he'd been trying hard to get the snake Draco had summoned under control and not to bite someone as everyone else believed. Draco might agree to clear his name now that they were sort of friends, but he didn't think that would change the members of the club minds much.

He sighed and draped his arm over his eyes. Why had everything fallen apart? _Maybe not everything._ He grinned, remembering the shadow's lips on his own and suppressed a laugh, as a feeling of lightness ran through him. He'd taken the initiative, something he'd been sure he'd never do, and had kissed him. And the shadow had returned the kiss happily. Would he get the chance to kiss him again before bed? It seemed likely since they usually went to sleep about the same time.

"We could," Hermione agreed. "There are study groups we could join—"

"I said we could practice spells, not study," Ron said.

Harry could hear the revulsion in Ron's voice, the mental image of him and the shadow snogging, fading. He turned onto his side, moving his arm from his eyes, his heart stopping. Aderes was also on his side in front of him, his eyes on Harry. "Don't do that!" Aderes laughed, Harry's face burning more. Why was everyone trying to give him heart attacks recently?! Was that the new pastime for the year? See who could kill Harry Potter first by heart attack? "Why aren't you playing with the Bowtruckle?"

"Professor Grubbly-plank wanted them back," he said, sounding like a child who'd just had his candy taken from him. "She wanted to get them packed up before class ended." He shot the professor a dirty look. "Even though we have twenty minutes of class left. I have no doubt she was just jealous."

_Jealous of what? _Who would be jealous of Bowtruckle using you as their personal tree? "So, go ask if you can help her with that," Harry said, rolling his eyes. He didn't need Aderes's undivided attention for the next twenty minutes of class or ever if he could help it.

Anger flickered across the other teen's eyes. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"I'm trying not to have a heart attack or get us killed," he muttered, sitting up, and pulling out a clean piece of parchment. He placed it on the back cover of his Herbology book, wondering where he should start. His eyes shifted to the sky. Clouds had drifted over most of it now. Hopefully, it wouldn't start raining again.

"If you say so." He moved closer to Harry, their arms touching. "What's this about a study group?"

Harry's body instantly felt hot. He knew he should get up and move, but he couldn't deny that he enjoyed being this close to Aderes either. _The shadow will murder both of us_. It was strange how just last year, the only person who could make him blush was Cho, and now he wanted to snog Aderes and the shadow. _You can't have both_.

"Hermione wants to join one," Ron said as if she'd suggested they should go behead someone. "I just suggested we practice our Defense spells."

"A study group wouldn't hurt," Hermione snapped. "At least it wouldn't for you since Harry has a private tutor now."

"He's not a private tutor," Harry sighed. Private tutors helped you learn things. Harry still couldn't remember what had even happened in History of Magic the day before, beyond listening to the shadow's heartbeat. He might go back tomorrow and find out the classroom had burned down around him.

"I could tutor you," Aderes offered. "But it won't be cheap."

"No, thanks." He needed to keep his interactions with Aderes to a minimum. He owed the shadow that much, no matter how hot Aderes was or how much he was currently enjoying the small amount of physical contact they were sharing.

"You're far too loyal," Aderes sighed. "You're a Gryffindor if you've forgotten, not a Hufflepuff."

"You're not going to convince me to cheat on my boyfriend," he said, giving Aderes an gloomy look. "I don't even know you."

"I'd be more than happy to fix that," he said, smiling.

"I wouldn't." Despite his words, he still didn't get up and move, even after Aderes moved a tad closer to him. He knew he should, that he was pushing his luck for sure, but some crazy part of him was enjoying this.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought I'd get started on my essay for Potions." Aderes's eyes widened and he sat up. He heard Hermione gasp.

"Where has my best friend gone," Ron groaned.

Harry decided he no longer had any friends.

"You mean you actually started your homework ahead of time, without being threatened," Aderes asked.

"Yes," Harry said through gritted teeth. Just how much had Hermione told Aderes about him yesterday? "I do that sometimes." What he wanted was to get it over with so he could spend his evening free with the shadow. Homework would just get in their way of more important things, like possibly snogging.

"I can't believe it sunk in so thoroughly that even after it was erased it remained. I'm brilliant!" He looked incredibly pleased with himself.

"What you're talking about." Why were the good-looking ones weird? And it seemed the better looking they were, the worse their weirdness was. Lockhart was a perfect example of this. "Are you okay…?" Aderes no longer looked happy, but rather like someone had taken a dead fish and struck him across the face with it. The Slytherin didn't answer. Shrugging, he wrote his name on top of the parchment and the title 'The Properties of Moonstone' underneath. _Moonstone must help with stress if it's used in the Draught of Peace._ He wrote that down and then stared at his parchment. His Potion's book was in his trunk, and he knew nothing about moonstones. He wasn't even sure his first sentence was right.

Aderes seemed to have gotten over whatever weird fit he'd been having. "It's right," he grumbled after reading Harry's sentence.

Harry frowned. "Why are you sulking?"

"I'm not sulking."

_He's sulking._

"Moonstones are used primarily in potions. They're known for stabilizing emotions and relieving anxiety." He frowned when he noticed Harry wasn't recording his words. "Why aren't you writing this down?"

"I'm not paying you for help with my homework. I can do it myself."

"Just write it down. I won't charge you for the first one."

_I really shouldn't._ He wanted the help, but the shadow had warned him about using Hermione and it would be wrong to just switch to Aderes. "It's okay. I'll do it after I get back to the dorm." Snogging his boyfriend would just have to wait. His heart sank as he remembered he had detention with McGonagall that night, and then he'd have to finish the essay. The chances of him having any free time at all vanished from his mind. Maybe he could at least get a kiss goodnight from him like he had at the infirmary.

"Why are you being so stubborn," Aderes demanded.

The bell rang, and Harry shoved his items into his bag. "It's just…" How could he explain it? After last year and talking with the shadow, he knew it was wrong to keep relying on those around him. Eventually he'd have to give everything he loved up. His friends, Hedwig, Sirius. Even the necklace. Voldemort wasn't their fight. The dark lord had made that clear in the graveyard. In the end, it would just be them. Letting anyone else stay involved in this mess would only lead to their deaths, and he refused to let anyone else sacrifice themselves for him. "I want to do it. I want to show myself that I can."

"No," Aderes said, his voice growing cold. "You don't and I won't let you."

"Even if I don't, I will," he said. He couldn't understand why his words were having such an effect on Aderes. Had he hoped to use helping Harry with his studies as a means to get closer? "I told you, I have a boyfriend."

"We need to get going," Ron said.

"You two are going to be late for charms," Hermione added stopping beside Ron.

"Fine," Aderes said. "This isn't over." He grabbed his bag roughly and started down the path, Draco following a few steps behind.

_I've lost my mind._ He wanted to go after him and had to force his legs to stay put. _The shadow's been there for me all summer. You don't even know Aderes. _Not that he knew the shadow much better, but finding out anything wouldn't be hard. Their minds were linked.

'You won't pass your O.W.L.S without help.'

'You're the one who told me to stop asking people for help!'

'I told you to stop asking Hermione, I never once said not to ask me!'

"Jeez, what was that about," Ron asked. All three of them seemed to have had the same idea of hanging back until Aderes was almost out of sight.

"Not sure," Harry said. He was more concerned about the shadow's comments and his own emotions than Aderes and his random behaviors. 'I don't want to be a burden.' He knew he already was, especially to the shadow. 'You've come to my rescue for almost every class and it's only my second day of school and I shouldn't rely on that. But when I have problems, I can't figure out… I'll ask.'

They started towards the greenhouse, Harry groaning when he saw Aderes and Draco had turned back. At this rate, the shadow was going to murder him. Aderes grabbed Harry by the wrist and started pulling him away from his friends. Ron looked to Hermione as if asking her permission if he should help and she had the nerve to shake her head no.

"What are you doing?!" He tried pulling away, but Aderes' grip was strong.

The Slytherin pulled him behind the greenhouse, gave a quick look to make sure no one else was there, and turned on Harry, his eyes narrowed. "Do you actually think you can defeat Voldemort by yourself?"

Harry blinked. Where in the hell had that come from? "What?"

"Answer me!" He released Harry's wrist.

"I don't have time for this," he said, turning. Before he could take a step, a barrier of light formed in front of him. Scowling, he turned back to Aderes. "You've lost it. If you don't let me out—"

"Do you think you can defeat Voldemort alone," Aderes asked again, his voice filled with contained rage.

"No, I don't," Harry answered. He really didn't want to talk about this right now, but if he didn't get Aderes to leave, he'd probably end up with yet another detention for being late to Herbology.

"So, you're just going to send your 'boyfriend' after him and hope for the best," he demanded.

Harry's heart stopped. "Of course not! I have every intention of leaving him and everyone else behind when the time comes!" That Aderes could even suggest something like that just showed how much he didn't know Harry. He hadn't even wanted to bring the necklace with him to Hogwarts for fear of what might happen.

The angry look on Aderes's face vanished, replaced by a pale, shocked one. His friends had finally decided to save him, and of course, at just the wrong time, no doubt having heard his outburst. The three of them had stopped together and none of them looked happy. "But—"

"You don't know me," Harry said, lowering his voice so the others couldn't hear. "You have no idea how many people have died because of me. I won't allow any more sacrifices. I'm not worth it. I'll do what I have to, I'll stop Voldemort and then…" He shrugged. He didn't know why he'd just told Aderes that. He hadn't even mentioned this to his friends or even the shadow, but being cornered only allowed for so many options. Still, he could have said nothing, but there was just something about Aderes that made him want to open up.

Ron came stomping towards Harry and shoved him, his back hitting the light barrier. "Are you kidding me," Ron demanded, his voice full of anger. "You were just going to leave and what? Die!?"

_I'm going to kill Aderes._ "This is why I didn't want to bring it up," he said. "I knew you'd get upset."

"Of course, we're upset," Ron shouted. It was surprising to see Hermione and Draco wearing the same expressions. He'd half expected it from Hermione, but not Draco. "We've been friends for years. You can't just expect us to let you run off by yourself! We're trying hard to so we can help!"

"I know that, but what kind of friend would I be if I got all of you killed?!"

"What if we didn't die," Aderes asked.

"Belt it Aderes. You have nothing to do with any of this," Harry seethed.

"Potter," Draco said, the warning in his voice evident.

"Draco, you know better," he half pleaded. If one of them understood how hopeless the situation was, it would be him. "There's no way this ends well."

"So, you're just going to give up," Aderes growled.

"No," Harry said. "I will never give up. I'll do whatever I can to survive, but I'm not stupid enough to believe that I have a chance against someone like Voldemort straight out of school." And that was only if Voldemort was nice enough to wait for him to graduate first.

"That's why you need help," Hermione said. "Ron and I talked about this over the summer… we know what we're getting into and whether you like it or not, it's our choice."

"No," Harry said.

"If Voldemort wins, it doesn't matter if you're dead or not," Aderes said. "I'd rather improve my chances of killing him by working together. You were almost taken out by a Gytrash and some Dementors over the summer. If you can't handle a minor inconvenience like that, I hardly have faith in your abilities to kill Voldemort."

Harry almost asked him how he knew that, then remembered Aderes's father worked for the Ministry and his court case had been in the Daily Prophet. It wasn't on the front page, probably because Fudge had lost, but they had printed it. "Fine." He knew fighting with them now was pointless. It would be easier to let them think he was willing to let them help and slip away when it came to that.

Aderes's look grew darker. "Draco, take the others and leave us be for a moment."

Draco frowned, his eyes flickering from Harry then back to Aderes. "Let's give them a minute."

_You traitor!_

"Are you going to talk some sense into him," Ron asked.

"I'm going to shove it down his throat," Aderes promised, walking past the redhead. Ron looked pleased and joined Hermione and Draco heading towards the front of the Greenhouse. "I could kill that old man for all of this," he growled. "All of my hard work, erased."

Harry had no idea what he was talking about, but his intuition was telling him to run. He held his ground though as Aderes stopped in front of him, his arms folded across his chest.

"Let's get something straight, Harry. You don't stand a chance against someone like Voldemort. Any preparations made were destroyed thanks to that cursed fool, mentally and probably physically. So here we are, back at square one."

"What—"

"So, we'll just clear this up right now. You do not get to be a martyr. You do not get to throw yourself in front of Voldemort as a shield. You are not allowed to kill yourself before our fight with Voldemort, nor are you allowed to just 'let it happen', because your life suddenly seems unbearable. You do not get to drown yourself in the lake for any reason, though if you'd like me to throw Weasley in, I'd be more than happy to watch him drown." He smirked, though his eyes were full of murderous intent. "Do you understand and swear to these terms or will I be forced to do the unthinkable?"

Harry took a step back.

Aderes chuckled. "Right, I already did that." The smirk vanished, and he grabbed the front of Harry's robes and pulled him forward, their faces even. "Swear to me you will not be stupid and get yourself killed," he hissed.

The fear Harry was feeling broke. He glared at Aderes and with a hard shove, removed the other teen's hand from his robes. "You don't just get to walk into my life and start making demands!"

Aderes raised an eyebrow. "Don't I?"

"NO!"

The Slytherin stared at him another moment. "You…" He sighed. "I thought you didn't want to explain to the others… I played along, but…" He shook his head before sighing again. "You really…" He placed his forehead in his hand.

Harry wondered if Aderes was losing his mind. Nothing he said was making any sense. "I have to get to Herbology…." When Aderes didn't answer he started past him. The Slytherin grabbed his wrist yet again, with his free hand, holding it tight.

"You were not dismissed." He removed his hand from his face, his eyes slits. "I'm not sure who I'm angrier with. You or that fool running the school."

"What does Dumbledore have to do with this?"

He took a breath and released Harry's wrist. "Promise me."

"I'm not—"

"Then you won't be joining your classmates for Herbology."

Harry stared at him. Where the hell was the shadow to throw Aderes into a wall? Surely, he posed more of a threat than Ron ever had or possibly could. He was always there protecting Harry, and they'd just been talking a moment ago. _Unless…_ Something must have shown in Harry's eyes, because Aderes was watching him. "How…?"

"Not here," he said, his body no longer as tense as it had been. "Now you've two choices. You can promise me you won't be an idiot and I will walk you to the greenhouse where you may join Hermione and that friend of yours and I can trust you with all the poisonous plants you could imagine or you don't and I simply hold you against your will until you do."

The entire speech was mad, and Harry believed every word of it. If he lied, Aderes would know immediately, and then what? "I don't want anyone hurt."

"Then I suppose you'll have to accept my terms. Did it ever occur to you how hurt I'd be if you just vanished?"

It had, but Harry had decided it was better for the shadow to miss him, if he was capable of such a thing, rather than to die. "I didn't even know you were real!"

"So, you told me last night," Aderes said, obviously annoyed. "Good to know I have to worry more about you cheating on me with magical objects than another human. At least destroying the item won't get me sent to Azkaban." He slipped his arm around Harry's waist, the familiar warmth coursing through him.

They were walking towards the greenhouse entrance before the movements even registered in Harry's mind. None of this could be real. There was no way the shadow and Aderes were the same person. It wasn't possible. "W, why didn't you say anything last night?"

"I didn't think it was necessary."

"Are you joking? How was I supposed to know?!"

"The bond."

"Yeah, right…"

Aderes stopped him again. "Is me being an actual person a problem? Do I actually need to wipe your memory and go on pretending to be charmed item?"

"N, no," Harry shouted, his face red. Aderes and the shadow being the same made him happy, it just seemed impossible. The growing fear of having to choose between the two of them vanished. It wasn't that he liked one of them more than the other, he wanted to be with Aderes because he was his boyfriend to begin with. He just hadn't known it.

"I just… didn't expect it and I mean… you and me?"

Aderes arched an eyebrow. "What about us?"

"You're… you," he said, knowing that didn't make much sense, but his mind was fast turning to slush. "You," he said again.

"Yes me," Aderes repeated and frowned.

_I can't do this, _he decided. It would take him the rest of the day to come to terms with this, and he still had a class and a detention to make it through first. He leaned into Aderes's embrace; the Slytherin drifting to the side with him.

"H, hey!" He regained his balance and managed to keep Harry standing. "Don't just faint!"

"I didn't faint." Though a part of him wished he had. "This is a lot to take in."

"I guess so," Aderes said. "You still haven't made that promise and you only have two minutes before class starts."

"Because I'm mentally stable enough to promise anything."

"You've never been mentally stable enough for anything, so I can't be picky."

Harry glared at him, Aderes smiling.

It's not like he'd been trying to get himself killed to begin with, he was simply being realistic. Still, he wanted the shadow's, Aderes's approval. "Fine, I promise I won't intentionally get myself killed."

Aderes leaned in and kissed him. Any thoughts about Aderes lying to him vanished. "Good." He walked Harry to the entrance of the greenhouse. "Did you need my help in Herbology?"

"Shouldn't you be paying attention in Charms?" It would be wrong to ask Aderes to tutor him during class now that he knew the Slytherin had his own classes to tend to. How had he even managed it the other times?

Aderes snorted at that. "I've already learned everything this year has to teach."

"Oh…" That didn't surprise Harry as much as it should have, and yet he still found it impressive.

"I've no interest in relearning, something I've already mastered." He glanced at his watch, seemed satisfied with what he saw, and kissed Harry again. 'I'd much rather tutor you or kiss.' Reluctantly, he stopped. "But you've twenty seconds so." He gave Harry a gentle push, and he found himself standing just across the threshold of the greenhouse door. "I'll see you soon."

Harry nodded, unable to get any words out.

"Don't fall in love with a plant while I'm gone." He turned and joined Draco, who looked rather annoyed at having to wait. They started towards the castle, just as the bell for class went off.

He turned towards the tables, his eyes widening. Every single Gryffindor was staring at him with either shock or revulsion. _I just kissed a Slytherin in front of everyone_. Even Ron was staring at him in horror. Well, it wasn't like he could take it back and even if he could, he wouldn't. He found an empty table and sat down at it. His heart was beating fast, but not in a bad way. He knew everyone was talking about him again, but it didn't matter. He lifted his hand to his face and realized he was smiling. Despite everything going on, he was actually happy. He understood now why Sirius hadn't gone completely mad after he'd escaped from Azkaban. It was thanks to him being reunited with Lupin.

'Sorry I made you late for class.' He did feel guilty for that. But he had a boyfriend, a real human boyfriend, who was hot, and who cared about him enough to throw people into walls to keep him safe. Okay, that wasn't something he should be happy about, but it wasn't just Ron. Aderes had saved him from Umbridge.

Aderes chuckled. 'I have a permanent late pass.'

'Oh.'

'I guess given who your dad is, you get away with a lot, don't you?'

'Huh? Oh, William? I lied about that,' he said smoothly, Harry blinking. 'I needed a family name, and that seemed like the best choice given Umbridge's intrusion into the school.'

'So… what's your real name?'

'… I prefer to go by Aderes.'

'Okay…'

"Mister Potter!"

Harry jumped, his eyes snapping towards Professor Sprout. She did not look happy.

_I really need to figure out how to talk to Aderes and pay attention to everyone else. _Aderes made it look so easy, but it really wasn't. He felt like he needed to give Aderes his full attention when they were speaking through the bond, but maybe he didn't?

"S, sorry," he said. "I just don't feel that good."

"Sure, because you looked so sick when you were kissing that Slytherin," Lavender shouted.

"You're just jealous Aderes was kissing him and not you," Hermione said.

"Enough," Professor Sprout shouted. "This is your first Herbology class of the year and we have much to cover so you can pass your O.W.L.S. We don't have time to worry about who's kissing who!"

'I think you started a war.'

'Hmm?'

'You pushed me into a room full of jealous Gryffindor.'

'They'll get over it. It wasn't like any of them had a chance, anyway.'

Harry pulled out his Herbology book to at least look like he was doing something class related. 'Why did you choose me?'

'Trust me. There's not a single person in Hogwarts who can handle me, but you.'

"You may begin."

Harry paled. He had no idea what he was supposed to be beginning. Hermione must have noticed his panic because she joined him at the table, Ron following.

"We're tending to Mandrake seedlings," Hermione whispered.

"Thanks… for earlier and this."

"As long as Aderes got through to you. I'm angry you don't trust us enough to help you, but I understand too. Especially after last year."

"Well, I don't," Ron said, still sounding somewhat angry. "We've been helping you from year one and we're still here. And why in the bloody hell did you kiss Aderes?" He lowered his voice. "Are you trying to get that shadow thing to murder him?"

"Oh, right. Eh, turns out they're the same person," he whispered.

"… Are you telling me Aderes just… decided one day he wanted to meet you, shoved himself into a necklace, mailed himself to your house, and neglected to tell you he wasn't a magical object?"

"Eh… sounds about right."

"And you still…?"

"Yeah," he admitted, his face burning. The way Ron put it made Aderes sound like a creep. Okay, Aderes was kind of a creep, but he was Harry's creep, so it'd be okay. They'd make it work. He'd wanted to date Aderes when he'd believed he was the core of a magical object, why would him being a creep change his mind?

"You're mad," Ron muttered. He stood up and went over to the table of plants and started inspecting them.

Was it really that bad? If he'd known from the start that Aderes was a real person, would it have made a difference? He ran the events of the summer through his mind, only instead of the shadow or a necklace, he placed Aderes in those memories. His heart beat harder. _Nope, doesn't matter. _"Hermione?"

"Yes?" She looked up from her pot. She'd already removed some of the weeds and had begun adding dragon dung to it.

"Do you think I'm crazy for not being freaked out about this?"

"No." She rotated the small pot and sprayed a mist of water from a spray bottle at the base of the stem. "Aderes filled me in over the summer."

He stared. "What?"

"I was going to tell you, but he asked me to let things happen naturally."

"So, what exactly did you talk about?"

"A lot," she admitted. "Things I didn't even think were possible until he showed me proof." She gave Harry her full attention. "I know it's a little strange right now, but I promise, Aderes cares about you, a lot."

"Right, because he's telling you everything and not me," Harry asked. He couldn't deny being a little angry and even more jealous. If Aderes cared about him so much, why was he explaining everything to Hermione and not him? That wasn't fair on any level.

She sighed and stood up just as Ron sat down with a pot. "Harry, Aderes and I are not interested in each other. We're friends." She grabbed her pot and walked over to Professor Sprout.

"What's her problem?"

"Me," Harry said. "I guess Aderes and her have been talking all summer."

"And he didn't tell you?"

"No."

"That's not a good sign."

"I know," Harry said, irritation creeping into his voice.

"You going to ask him about it?"

"Yeah." But it would have to wait. For now, he needed to focus on his assignment. If he brought it up to Aderes now, his emotions would get the best of him and he didn't want to fight again. No, despite this off the wall chaotic day, Harry just wanted to find a quiet out of the way place and snog his boyfriend.

**(TBC)**


	21. The First Detention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone, yes. I pulled the chapter and deleted it about fifteen minutes after posting. I realized it was just too weak of a chapter to justify keeping it up.  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, Tom/Harry and Remus/ Sirius  
Notes: (X) is pov and or time jump.

"That didn't take long."

Harry dropped his bag next to his bed and fell onto it next to Aderes.

"McGonagall took pity on me once she found out Ron and I weren't fighting anymore." He rolled onto his back and looked up at his boyfriend. Aderes was in his shadow form, reclining on Harry's pillows, book in hand. If Harry didn't know any better, he'd think this scene had played out hundreds of times before. It felt familiar, comforting somehow. "All I had to do was put a few books away and promise not to fight with him anymore." It was one of the easiest detentions he'd ever had.

Aderes snorted. "What if he starts it?" Harry shrugged. He hadn't asked, his focus on doing whatever McGonagall had wanted so he could run back to his dorm, or rather, to Aderes. They'd agreed on leaving the bond partially opened, enough so they could sense each other, but not so much that their every thought and emotion began mingling. Even so, it didn't stop a constant dull throb of loneliness whenever they weren't close to each other. He wondered if Aderes had the same problem. Aderes never seemed to give off any feelings of distress, and it was too embarrassing to ask, so he didn't think so. And asking straight out felt stupid, he already seemed, was, far too dependent on Aderes.

Sighing, Aderes set the book he was reading down. "You have two assignments you need to finish tonight. Transfiguration and Herbology."

An essay for both classes, and he had to practice the vanishing spell McGonagall had reviewed with them. Nothing too hard, but that wasn't the problem. That Harry was far more interested in talking with Aderes than doing his homework was. If there was a way to guarantee no one else would enter the dorm right now, Harry wouldn't even mind taking some time to snog him before starting anything.

Aderes looked down at him, his eyes slightly narrowed, Harry grinning at him in return. "As much as I enjoy kissing you, your homework comes first." He ran his hand through Harry's hair. "The faster you finish one task, the sooner I'll allow you to interact with me."

"You're interacting with me now," he said, smirking.

Aderes rolled his eyes, shifted his weight, and shoved Harry off the bed with one quick move of his foot.

Harry hit the floor before he even realized Aderes had pushed him off the bed. "Hey!" He got onto his knees and gripped the side of the bed, glaring at him.

"Do your homework." He leaned back into Harry's pillows and reopened his book.

"A few hours ago, we were fighting because you wanted to help me."

"I suppose I need to remind you of my rules, all things considered." His eyes flickered to Harry. "I do not date fools, nor will I tolerate failure. I will not be embarrassed because of your inability to focus or your lack of regard for your studies. And if you get anything below an A for any of your O.W.L.S. I will not only disown you; I will act like I never knew you."

Harry felt his mouth falling open. "You're the one who barged into my life," he screamed, climbing to his feet. How could Aderes demand such things?

"Yes, and you should be grateful. You'd be dead otherwise." He turned a page.

"Do you know anything about me, besides what the papers write, what everyone assumes they know," he demanded. It seemed even with the bond, Aderes was lacking information in that department. Even if he studied every day nonstop, he couldn't achieve what his boyfriend was asking of him. He wasn't nearly that bright.

"I know you better than anyone," Aderes said. He dropped the book onto the bedside table. "Better than that useless thing you call a friend, than Hermione, Draco." He reached out and grabbed Harry by the wrist, pulling him back onto the bed and into his lap. "And that is exactly why I have to make sure you understand the terms. I will help when you need it, but first see what you can do on your own."

Hadn't that been Harry's exact argument before Herbology?! "There shouldn't be terms to dating," Harry muttered, his body relaxing in the embrace despite his annoyance at the threat.

"Ignoring your studies is basically giving up against Voldemort. If you don't want to live, I'd rather not waste my time being with you."

"Then leave! Even if I pass every subject with an O, there's no guarantee I'll survive against Voldemort!" How could Aderes just throw this at him? He hadn't even hinted at something like this. Not that he could have done much if Aderes had explained the rules when they first met. No one had been in any kind of functioning state to study. Well, Hermione probably could have, but Hermione was always ready to learn.

"No, but it will give you a higher chance at survival." He leaned in and kissed Harry.

'You're mad!'

'So, you made clear during Care of Magical Creatures.'

Harry felt his face flush. 'Well, you are.'

Aderes snickered and pushed Harry onto his back. "Now that you know my conditions—"

"Yeah, I get you chose the wrong guy to date. Lucky for me, I'm used to being alone," he said. When he felt Aderes's surprise he sat up, threw his arms around his neck, and pulled him down.

"Liar," Aderes hissed, their faces inches apart.

"Not really."

"You have _me_, of all people, on top of you, in your bed, _willingly_. You are not allowed to feel lonely."

"Your level of arrogance astounds me."

"I deserve every bit of it."

Harry doubted that, but he was happy and didn't want to risk losing this happiness. "Fine." It was already too late for him to break it off, anyway. Losing Aderes was not an option. Not if he wanted to keep even a small fraction of his sanity. He didn't know if it was the bond or what, but he knew, giving Aderes up would mean losing a part of himself.

"Good." He leaned forward and kissed Harry. "Let's practice vanishing spells."

"Wait." He grabbed Aderes's arm as the teen began to straighten up, the Slytherin's eyes narrowing slightly.

"What?"

"I'll try. I'll study and get my homework done. I won't goof off on assignments unless it's Divination, but…"

"Potions," Aderes finished for him and Harry nodded.

"I've never had any luck with that class. Even when Hermione checks my essays, Snape will write on the paper that I didn't do it by myself or anything to make sure I get a bad mark."

Aderes seemed to consider this, his free hand absently going through Harry's hair. "I will speak with him," he said after a moment. "And I will work with you."

"Okay…."

"I know my terms seem unreasonable. Just trust me, you are capable of far more than you believe. You simply need to apply yourself." He sat up, Harry smiling when he noticed Aderes was fighting the urge to make out instead of helping Harry with his homework.

**(X)**

"Not bad." Aderes scanned the rest of Harry's essay, nodding. "There are a few sentences that could be worded better, but this is a good start." He kissed Harry on the cheek, his face heating up. "I'm glad you didn't waste your free period today."

"I told you I'd try." Yes, it'd been tempting to mope throughout his free period because of his detention with Umbridge, but after a lot of mental yelling, he'd gotten himself to focus. Surprisingly, he'd finished his essays for Potions, History of magic, and Charms. It had been boring, but easy enough. All the answers for these particular essays had been in the class required books.

"So, you did." He pushed Harry against the wall, kissing him again.

If this was Harry's reward for finishing his homework, he would be asking all his professors for extra credit soon.

A small cough had Harry trying to pull away, annoyance flashing across Aderes's face. "What," he demanded, turning.

"I need a word with you," Dumbledore said. Harry nearly died when he noticed how red Dumbledore's own face was. He'd caught them kissing, which wasn't against the rules, but still embarrassing.

"And you couldn't wait until we'd finished?"

"I believe Harry has a detention to attend."

Scowling, Aderes turned back to Harry. He kissed him again, roughly this time, his hands gripping Harry's sides.

'Aderes!' He couldn't deny how much he was enjoying himself, but the thought of Dumbledore watching as they made out horrified him. He brought his hands up and placed them on Aderes's chest to push him away and froze. It wasn't their fault Dumbledore had decided to pick this very moment to interrupt them. He could have asked Aderes while they were still in the Great Hall eating dinner. But the headmaster was watching right now, and that made it awkward, like being caught by a parent.

Aderes mentally chuckled and slowly pulled away. 'I love driving him mad.' A flicker of satisfaction that Harry was enjoying himself, that he wanted to continue, to hell with anyone else, and much stronger, that he was stealing Harry from Dumbledore.

Harry blinked as surprise ran through the bond at the leak. "What was that?" He knew exactly what he'd felt, or rather what Aderes had been feeling, but didn't want to believe it. Was this all a game to Aderes? He was a Slytherin, after all.

"Harry—"

"I have detention," Harry growled, having no problems shoving him away this time. 'Is that all this is? A way to make Dumbledore mad?'

'No,' Aderes protested. 'Not Exactly…'

"Not exactly," he repeated out loud, his voice strained. He was mad at Aderes, betrayed even. Despite the Slytherin's fast work to shut the bond, Harry had already felt the guilt radiating from him. "I'm leaving."

"Harry, it's not what you're thinking—"

"Our minds are linked," Harry screamed, both Aderes and Dumbledore paling and giving quick looks around the room. Right, that was a secret, but right now he didn't care. "You can't lie to me like you do everyone else!" He started for the steps, a whirlwind of emotions flaring up inside of him.

"I hope you're happy," Aderes snapped.

He didn't hear the rest and with the bond shut he couldn't ease drop on the conversation between them.

_How could I be so stupid? _Of course, Aderes was using him! Why would someone as perfect as Aderes give him a second glance? And if he was intent on driving Dumbledore mad, who else, who better, to use than Harry? _Right because I'm special to Dumbledore,_ he thought, snorting. It made sense that from an outside view, he was, but the events over the summer had shown just how wrong everyone, himself included, had been. Dumbledore had left his life to chance when he stopped all incoming communication to Harry after the Gytrash had attacked him. Aderes was smart. If Harry had noticed Dumbledore's lack of concern for him, then his boyfriend had to know.

It brought everything into a horrible, but understandable answer. Why Aderes had suddenly decided to become a part of his life despite them never having met before. The necklace, the bond, all his actions over the summer had just been a manipulation to build trust, to pull Harry closer to him until he couldn't survive without him. All with the hopes of driving Dumbledore mad. He frowned as he turned the corner. Were the terms Aderes's solution to getting rid of Harry now that he'd found out he was dating the wrong person to mess with Dumbledore? Why even let it go so far?

Well, the joke was on Aderes. Dumbledore no longer seemed too worried about Harry, and he'd had survived on his own just fine before Aderes had shown up. It wasn't ideal, but it was doable. Somehow, he'd find a way to break this stupid mental bond, and he'd give Dumbledore the necklace.

_Who am I kidding?_ He was angry because it was easier to be mad than to admit he didn't want to give Aderes up or that his boyfriend using him hurt. That he was dependent on him and he wanted, needed him by his side. Aderes made anything seem possible. After yesterday, he'd even began to think he had a slight chance at defeating Voldemort and coming out alive.

And even if it was a ruse to ruin Dumbledore's mental state, Aderes enjoyed kissing him. Just last night, Aderes had had to fight with himself to not abandon Harry's homework and just snog. They had a relationship, he'd felt Aderes's feelings. They couldn't lie to each other, not with their minds linked. But it only made his current discovery hurt a little less. Even if Aderes did like him, if Harry was just a means to an end, it wouldn't make any difference.

_I need to put some distance between us._ If for no other reason than to keep himself going when Aderes was through with him.

Harry glared at the door; his fist clenched. As soon as he walked through it, he'd have to deal with Umbridge, and he really wasn't in the mood. Not that he'd been in the mood before, but now he just felt like telling Umbridge to jump out a window. Or maybe he could jump out the window. It was only the second floor. He'd break an arm or leg and spend another night in the infirmary, he'd endured worse from Quidditch.

_Just go in and get it over with_. He gave the pendant around his neck a tight squeeze, took a calming breath, and released it, mentally screaming at himself for the stupid ritual he'd developed. _I'm taking it off once I'm back in the dorm!_

He felt somewhat better having decided that and knocked on the door_. I've handled tons of Snape's detentions_. And what were the chances that Umbridge could come up with a worse detention than Snape? If he was being honest, what could possibly be worse than what he'd just found out about Aderes?

"Come in," Umbridge's poisonous voice sang from the other side of the door. The high pitch call made him flinch.

He took another breath and entered the room, freezing as he stepped over the threshold. His eyes crept from one side of the room to the other, any breath he'd just taken outside of the room, gone. The Defense Against the Dark Art's room no longer existed. Instead was a room that looked like a witch's boutique for nine-year-olds. The walls were no longer stone, but pink and covered in plates with kittens on them. Most of them wore large bright pink bows around their necks, some meowing, others purring as they dashed from plate to plate, tagging and wrestling each other. Lace hung from every available spot, along the bottom of the kitten plates, along the teacher's desk's edges, the student's desks, along the windowsills, and wrapped around the candle holders. Dried flowers sat in numerous vases around the room. They, too, had lace at their bases. To think just two days prior the room had looked normal.

How was anyone supposed to read in a room with over fifty kittens playing around?

_Where is this freak?_ He started towards the teacher's desk, mentally cursing when he noticed Snape. Of all the people, Umbridge could ask for help to plan his detention. Or knowing Snape, he'd volunteered. He stopped in front of the desk.

"I thought I was serving detention with Professor Umbridge."

"You are," Umbridge said.

Harry jumped, his eyes widening slightly as he realized that Umbridge was present and in the ugliest pink plush chair that he'd ever seen, wearing a matching pink robe covered in flowers and once again, lace. There had to be a law against having so much pink and lace in a single room. "Good evening Mr. Potter." She smiled at him, one that held no warmth, not that he'd expected any. Snape's own look was no better. He had no allies here. "I said good evening, Mr. Potter."

"Evening."

"Manners, Mr. Potter," Snape said.

Harry had to fight not to roll his eyes and even harder not to ram his wand down Snape's throat. His Aunt Petunia had more manners and deserved his respect more than these two. At least she'd believed him when he'd told her about Voldemort's return, and her interior decorating skills were five stars compared to this. What was worse, Snape knew the truth!

Lashing out would only result in more detentions though, and he couldn't afford that. No, he needed to finish the detention so he could try to fix his dented relationship and the others later on, to make it to Quidditch practices. It was bad enough he had to miss the tryouts.

It was still tempting_. I told Aderes I would try to avoid getting thrown into Azkaban;_ he reminded himself. He bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't snicker. Even when they were bickering, Aderes was a source of focus for him. He really would be lost without him. _Is this the bond or…?_ He couldn't let his mind travel that road right now. First, he needed to deal with this detention.

Umbridge cleared her throat with her little 'hem, hem'. "Now then Mr. Potter." She stood up and removed a black piece of paper from the top desk drawer. She proceeded to the nearest student desk and set it down.

Harry took the hint and sat down at the desk.

"I believe you shall have the proper punishment for the crime."

_Right, because telling the truth is a crime._

"You're quite lucky you're Dumbledore's favorite. To think you only received a week of detention for spreading lies and trying to attack a teacher!" She let out a shrill laugh. "But we'll make sure to correct that behavior."

_Who's going to correct yours?_

"For tonight, you'll be writing lines," she said, sweetly.

"Lines," Snape repeated, his face falling. "Don't you think that's a little lenient for what he's done?"

"Oh no. I believe this will be the best punishment for Mr. Potter." She took a black quill from her robe pocket and handed it to Harry. He took it without comment. "Now. I want you to write 'I must not tell lies.' Understood?"

The irony of this was not lost on Harry. Still, he'd had much worse detentions. He placed the quill's tip onto the piece of paper.

"You were told to write lines," Snape growled.

He wrote the sentence 'I must not tell lies' and felt a paper cut like pain on the back of his right hand. He stopped to examine it. The words had been engraved into his hand in thin red lines, only to heal over just as fast. His eyes darted to the paper and he could feel himself paling. The quill had used his blood as ink.

Snape was grinning now.

"Continue," Umbridge said. She looked satisfied with the way things were playing out.

Harry refused to give the two monsters in front of him the satisfaction of knowing how stunned he was, and he would never let them know the amount discomfort it brought him, no matter how small or large it might be.

Gritting his teeth, he began writing again. He'd show them. By the time he started the tenth sentence, his hand had begun to go numb, making it easier to press on.

The fact that this was happening seemed impossible. This had to be considered torture and illegal. _Why am I doing this?_ It hadn't occurred to him that even if this was a detention; he didn't have to do something like this. Other students might not have a way out, but Harry could get Aderes's attention. He was mad at his boyfriend, but this was a strange situation. Aderes could tell Dumbledore what was going on. His hope began deflating as he gave a mental poke to bond, it was still closed.

"If you cannot handle writing lines, I can always give you a different punishment, if this one is too difficult for you."

Right. He didn't want to know what else she had in mind and began to finish the sentence, wincing as he did so. With no choice, he began writing the next line. He couldn't stop a small shudder at seeing the bright red blood flow onto the paper. This was more than just a physical punishment, but there was nothing he could do right now. What good would telling anyone do, anyway? The only one that possibly had any power over Umbridge was Dumbledore, and what would he do if the headmaster brushed him off? It was one thing to suspect the headmaster no longer cared for him much, another thing completely to know for sure. His friends couldn't do anything, and it was unlikely that the other teachers could either. And telling Aderes would only result in more stress because he'd then have to worry about how the Slytherin might retaliate. He was on his own with this.

Harry had no idea how much time had passed when Umbridge stalked up beside him and grabbed his hand roughly. He refused to show any signs of pain as she examined the cuts. "I expect to see you back here tomorrow."

"Good night." He grabbed his bag and turned his back on the two professors, only making it out of the room without gasping by sheer force of will. He walked fast down the hall and when he made it to the steps, finally allowed himself to stop and sit down. He rested his head against the stone wall, his eyes lingering on the back of his right hand. The words were light scratches, but if anyone got a good look, they would be able to read the sentence_. Should I wrap my hand?_ It would probably only attract more attention if he wrapped it, even if he claimed it was just a scratch.

Sighing, he pushed himself to his feet and started for the dorm. Walking down the halls this late at night only made his loneliness intensify. Some part of him had hoped that Aderes would be waiting for him outside of the Defense room or at the stairs, but given the time, his boyfriend was probably fast asleep. It was better that way. He needed sleep himself and time to think about how he wanted to handle things with Aderes. It still hurt to think that the Slytherin was using him. And he still didn't understand why Aderes had decided to use him in the first place. Maybe it wouldn't seem so bad once they talked tomorrow. They had Potions together first period, even if Aderes didn't sit with them for breakfast and Defense later in the day.

_Worry about it later._ He knew if he allowed his thoughts to obsess over when he'd talk to Aderes and what he would say to him, he'd never get any sleep.

He stumbled into the Gryffindor tower after giving the password and somehow made it up the steps without killing himself. He debated over whether to change or take a bath, decided it wasn't worth it and stepped into the dorm. He collapsed onto his bed, a growl meeting his ears. Before he could scramble up, two arms wrapped around him and held him in place.

_No way…_

"You're late."

"Aderes?"

"Why do you always question who's in your bed?" He yawned and suddenly his chin was on Harry's head. "And why does your goal in life seem to be to make sure I am sleep deprived?"

"I-I didn't—"

Aderes dropped a hand over his mouth. "I need as much rest as possible to keep an eye on you and my own potion tomorrow morning." Harry nodded, his face burning. "Good." He removed his hand from his mouth and rested it on Harry's hip.

"Night." It was the only thing he could think of to say. There was so much more he wanted to talk to Aderes about, but that could wait. He placed his own hand over Aderes's, his eyes closing. He had not expected to find Aderes in his bed or in the Gryffindor tower at all. The amount of relief and joy flowing through him at this simple embrace was beyond anything he'd ever felt before.

_This has to be from the bond. _He'd never felt such a strong pull to be with someone. The only experience he had to go by was his… comparing his feelings for Aderes as to what he'd once felt for Cho was like asking what was better, living with the Dursleys or Hogwarts. He really needed to ask Hermione about the bond or even risk asking Dumbledore. Someone had to know something. Would Lupin know?

"Why are you so irritated?"

"Sorry, I didn't know I was moving…"

"You're not, you keep tensing up… Is this about earlier?"

_Earlier? _With everything else he'd been thinking, it'd taken him a moment to remember they'd been fighting. "No."

"Good."

Harry waited for Aderes to follow up with, 'I'll explain later' or some variation. When none came, he started laughing.

Aderes sighed, propping himself up with his elbow. "What?"

"My thoughts are a mess right now."

"Jeez." Aderes bent over and kissed him. The bond slid open just enough for the usual warmth to fill Harry. His body began to relax, and he could no longer focus onto any of his thoughts trying to take over his mind. "We'll talk in the morning. For now, rest."

**(X)**

_I feel warm. _Harry had to dig his way to wakefulness, his mind desperately trying to keep him asleep. He could hear his dorm mates moving about though and knew it was time to get out of bed or would be soon enough. With a grunt he forced his eyes open as he sat up or tried to. He tried again, until his common sense kicked in and he realized to his horror, Aderes, as himself, was sprawled out on top of him. He managed to move one arm and grab the duvet, pulling it up to Aderes's head just in case someone stuck their head beyond the four posters.

"Aderes," he hissed quietly, knowing no one else could hear him, but not wanting to take the chance. When his boyfriend didn't move, he dared to give him a gentle shake. "Get up."

"No," he mumbled.

"No?" What did he mean no? He had to get up. _They _needed to get up. They had classes and breakfast, and Harry had things he needed to try and get done before his next detention with Umbridge. "Then let me up."

"Later."

Harry blinked. "Aderes, everyone else is awake and getting dressed." He hoped his tone conveyed the seriousness of this situation, given that the bond was closed and that Aderes seemed to have temporarily lost his sanity. He'd never stayed this long into the morning. "Someone could—"

"If someone besides me gets into _your _bed, I will happily murder them," he snarled, his eyes flashing from underneath the blanket.

_He's in a bad mood. _He closed his eyes. What was he supposed to do? This was his fault. Aderes had used his magic to lull him to sleep and now he was tired and cranky, and would Hogwarts even be able to withstand a cranky Aderes? "Can I help?" Hadn't he managed to help him before back at number twelve after he'd used too much magic? It was a blur, but he swore he'd done something. "Can't I give you energy or something?"

Aderes stared up at him, a hint of frown on his face. "You have another detention tonight. You'll end up with another one if you fall asleep during it."

Harry doubted that. Even during his most exhausted moments, he didn't think he could fall asleep while his blood was getting siphoned from his hand. Not that Aderes knew that. "I'm used to functioning without much sleep."

"Yes, but it's not healthy." He sighed and sat up. "I'll make a deal with you."

"Okay?"

"I'll borrow just enough energy to get out of bed and secure us two pepper up potions."

"Deal."

"Good." He brought his hand up to Harry's cheek, the bond opening without warning. Harry did his best to keep Umbridge's detention hidden. He saw and felt a rush of energy coursing from him and going to Aderes. The Slytherin didn't give any reactions of surprise or worry. "Alright." He kissed Harry. "I'll see you at breakfast."

He was gone a second later, leaving Harry alone in his bed, drowsier than he'd been minutes before and his hand hurting. He glanced down, frowning when he saw that some of the healing to his hand from the night before had been undone. Luckily, his hand had been under the duvet. It'd probably helped that Aderes had been so tired.

_Why was he so tired? _Aderes had been fast asleep when he'd gotten back, so at the least he'd gotten more sleep than Harry had. What had he been doing before that?

**TBC**


	22. Warnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was still slightly difficult, despite the fact I started picking out what I wanted from the original story as a mini, dare I say it, outline. (I am not an outline person. The second I feel like I know too much of a story I get bored with it and I don’t want much to do with it). But since this is a rewrite, an “outline” is more like what to keep and what not to keep. I guess it’s safer to call this the third draft vs. an overall rewrite. Anyway, I like writing from Tom’s pov. He’s such an arse, but in a fun way.  
Warnings: This story is shounen ai. Yaoi, slash, gay. Harry/Tom and Remus/ Sirius.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

"You're back," Draco said. He finished pulling his duvet up to the pillows on his bed before heading over to his trunk.

Aderes nodded absently, stretched out on his bed, aware of how big it had somehow become while he'd been with Harry. He sighed, allowing his eyes to close for a moment. He knew very well that the bed hadn't grown.

The small exchange of energy was helping far more than he'd thought it would. The last time he'd borrowed energy from Harry, they'd both collapsed. Luckily, no one had come in and checked on them. _Especially Sirius_. He could hardly fault Sirius for his overprotective tendencies, not when he felt just as strongly, perhaps more so. Harry had told his godfather about all the dangerous situations he managed to get himself into. Aderes had been an actual witness to them. "Harry tried to hide the results of Umbridge's detention from me."

Draco gave him a questioning look as he pulled his robes on. "Results? What did she have him do?"

"Blood inking," Aderes said, the words leaving a bad taste in his mouth. A beautifully crafted torture method that brought both physical and psychological damage to the writer. Genius, really, for those who deserved it. To think that this woman had used it on Harry, however….

He flicked his eyes up to Draco, noting that he'd gone rather pale. His hands stopped on his tie. "That's against the law."

"It is, but when have the laws been followed within this school?" He sat up, his annoyance growing. He didn't mind when he broke the laws. When he did it, he usually had a good reason for doing so, but this woman? She was a tarnish on the school, on the Slytherin house, and he was beginning to think Snape was no different. He'd heard the stories Dumbledore had told about the Potion's Master, where his loyalties supposedly lied. Even if even a fraction of it was true, it wasn't worth keeping him around if he enjoyed Harry's pain. "Snape made no efforts to stop it either."

Draco shook his head and pulled the strap of his bag over his shoulder. "What are you going to do? Potter doesn't like it when you hurt people."

"No, he doesn't." Which is exactly why he'd have to retaliate without Harry's knowledge. For now, his foolish boyfriend believed he had no idea what was going on. That would allow him to act without Harry growing suspicious. "But I've no pity for anyone who harms Harry in any way." That he had no doubt of. "As far as I'm concerned, they both need 'talking' to."

"That's hardly fair."

_True. An entire year's worth of work, gone._ So, help Dumbledore if this became the norm. "Fine. I will have an actual talk with Snape. Should he continue to participate, to allow such things to occur after that, however…"

"You've got that look on your face," Draco warned.

"I'll be sure to hide it before I leave the room."

Draco started for the door, then stopped. "... Will I be getting involved?"

He studied his friend. The poor teen's fingers were white from gripping the bag's strap. He was doing his best not to show any emotion and failing splendidly. "No." Draco's shoulders visibly relaxed. "I want the joy of instilling fear in them myself. Given your fondness for Snape, I will be lenient with him this time." He put Draco through enough. No sense in breaking him, not when he was perfectly capable, even excited at the mere thought of ruining Snape's day himself. "Umbridge on the other hand…." He chuckled. He had special plans for her. The pleading and screams she would surely emit. The look of terror as she realized no mercy would follow.

"I don't care what you do to Umbridge."

"I have a feeling no one does."

Draco looked as if he wanted to say something else but didn't. "I'll meet you in the Great Hall."

Aderes waved his hand, Draco leaving, and fell back onto the pillows, frowning. He was glad that Dumbledore had been 'kind' enough to give him and Draco a dorm to themselves. It would be impossible to talk openly like this otherwise, and worse, he wouldn't be able to join Harry whenever he wished. That would mean less sleep for him, which was never a good thing for anyone. Before he used to love having a large bed so he could stretch and lie in any position he felt like. Now it just felt empty. He needed Harry by his side. "What have I done?"

He lied in bed a few moments longer, wondering if he'd done the right thing. _A little late for regrets._ "I need to get Harry that Pepperup potion." He pulled himself out of bed, knowing the only way he would get one this early was if he visited the infirmary. The idea of going back to sleep seemed much better, but he'd promised Harry and he knew from experience he couldn't rest unless he was close to his boyfriend.

Besides, he had to make sure Snape and Umbridge had a spectacular day for daring to put a single scratch on Harry. They needed to learn their places and how much he would savor teaching them where those places were.

**(X)**

Aderes leaned down, giving Harry a quick kiss on the cheek, and placing the vial of Pepperup potion in the Gryffindor's hands. "Drink that."

"Aderes…." He took the potion, his face red. "Thanks." He took the cork out and drank it in a single gulp as Aderes slid onto the bench beside him. 'Did the energy help?'

'It did. I will return the gesture.'

The bond opened more, and Harry blushed harder seeing that Aderes's idea of returning the gesture was a very physical snogging session. He knew he wouldn't put up any sort of a fight if Aderes wanted to make out, but there was still the issue about Aderes using him, or whatever it was he was doing. 'I think I deserve an answer first.'

'You wouldn't believe me even if I tried to explain it. Can't you just accept that I care about you? Yes, I enjoy seeing Dumbledore get angry. He wanted us to be friends. I don't think it even occurred to him that we might end up more.'

Aderes's words were the truth, he could tell that much. 'So why did you feel so guilty yesterday?'

He mentally sighed. 'I originally went with Dumbledore's plan with the intention of stealing you from him, okay?'

'I wasn't! Do you think!? I mean! Dumbledore and I, we never—!'

'I know.' He mentally laughed, one arm snaking around Harry's waist. 'I meant taking you away from him in general.'

'O, oh…' In other words, Aderes had befriended him at Dumbledore's request so he could ruin the headmaster's plan. 'Why did he want us to be friends, anyway?'

'He wanted me to make a genuine friend.'

'Whose idea was it to put you into a necklace and mail it to my house?'

'Mine. He actually thought I was going to wait for the term to start.' He snorted.

_Like a normal person,_ Harry wondered, Aderes giving him an annoyed look.

'You'd be dead if I had waited.'

'I know...' And he was grateful for Aderes saving him, not just physically, but mentally as well.

'Good. Now eat something. You need to be at a semi functional state to handle Potions.' The bond closed to the minimum that they'd been keeping it at. Just enough so they could function and not lose their minds when separated.

"AAHHH!"

More screams. Harry, along with everyone else in the Great Hall, turned towards the Staff table. The professors had all moved away as what looked to be a second explosion of oatmeal erupted. The food exploded once airborne, going in all directions. It slapped onto the wall and onto nearby objects. It covered the staff that weren't quick enough to dodge or smart enough to put up shields. It drenched Snape's hair, making it impossible to tell his original hair color. Umbridge looked as if she'd taken a bath in the food while wearing her clothes. The other staff members seemed to have managed to avoid the worst of it, only Professor Sprout having a small smudge on her cheek. The rest seemed to go around the other staff, hitting the walls instead.

Laughter erupted throughout the hall as a third explosion went off, giving Umbridge yet another coating of oatmeal.

Harry looked to the Weasley twins, both clapping loudly. Fred whistled and suddenly, all the Gryffindors were clapping.

"Who did this," Umbridge screamed. She stormed towards the front of the tables, a trail of oatmeal dripping behind her as if she'd transformed from a large toad into a giant slug. Even covered in food, Harry could see how red her face was.

Did she actually think someone was going to take credit for something like this? Even Fred and George would wait until they were back in the Gryffindor Tower before admitting to drenching a teacher in food.

"How do you think someone did that," Ron asked, his voice full of awe.

"Maybe they bribed a house-elf," Draco suggested.

"Would they do that," Harry asked.

"If the person who asked them, in the house-elf's mind, outranks the person they're attacking, yeah. If I asked my house-elf to do something and my father told him no, he wouldn't do it."

That made sense, but the twins didn't outrank any of the staff and Harry found it hard to believe Dumbledore had asked the house-elves to put anything in the staff's food. The other teachers might be able to get away with asking a house-elf to do something to a coworker, but doing so would probably only cause a prank war to erupt.

"I will personally see that whoever is responsible is expelled! DO YOU HEAR ME?! EXPELLED!"

"You don't have the authorization to expel students," Aderes muttered before biting into a blueberry muffin.

"I think it was a spell," Hermione said. "A room with this many people, the staff won't be able to figure out who did it."

"I think they look better covered in food, don't you," Aderes asked Harry, his eyes dancing with amusement. "Far better than usual and, I'm sure, far better smelling."

"If it covers up some of that perfume," Harry agreed. He wanted to add that Snape would now have no choice, but to wash his hair, something it desperately needed, but he knew Draco liked the professor and didn't want to start a fight. He'd mention it to Aderes when they opened the bond up more after classes.

Ron grinned. "Think it was Fred and George?"

"Who else would it be," Harry asked.

"I don't know. Peeves might have done something," Ron said.

Umbridge continued to scream something, Harry wasn't really listening. He noted that Snape at least had held onto his dignity by cleaning himself off and settling back down to finish his food, as did the rest of the staff. McGonagall was actually smiling as she spoke to Flitwick now. Maybe the teachers did have something to do with it.

_SLAM!_

"The doors," Hermione whispered.

Harry looked, the Great Hall doors were closed.

"FORM A LINE," Umbridge screamed. The toad had cleaned herself off, her face so scarlet, Uncle Vernon would be impressed, her chest heaving.

"What are you doing," McGonagall asked.

"We'll be testing everyone's wands!"

"Nonsense. Classes begin in thirty minutes. There are over eight hundred students in this room. There's no time to check every single one."

Umbridge let out one of her high, shrill shrieks. "This is a matter of utmost importance! If we allow them to get away with it today, they'll surely do it again!"

McGonagall had the same look on her face now that she'd had when talking to Ron a few nights back about the 'ghost'. "Perhaps. Just as well, we do have a poltergeist that is known for causing chaos even amongst the staff. To accuse the students without any evidence, and possibly waste time checking every wand, which will no doubt result in everyone missing their first class, is not sensible. I don't know about _you_, but I have students to _teach _so they will pass their O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.s." There was a murmur of agreements from the other staff members, Snape included.

Umbridge looked as if someone had struck her. "This is not the end of this," she snapped at McGonagall.

"Delores, if you cannot handle being the target of a student's or Peeve's practical jokes, I'm afraid you're in the wrong profession." She pulled her wand out, the doors opening once more with another slam. "If you are finished eating, you are free to leave," she called out to the students. She turned back to the staff table and began speaking with Madam Hooch.

Umbridge stood there a moment, her eyes wide enough to burst. She turned on her heel and stomped out of the Great Hall, muttering curses the entire way. A Hufflepuff jumped out of the way to avoid being shoved to the floor. When she was out of sight from the door, the Gryffindor table broke out into cheers and applause.

Harry grinned, joining in. Even Hermione began cheering. McGonagall's face turned a hint of red, but all she did was nod slightly in acknowledgement.

"Anything bad I ever said about McGonagall, I take it back," Ron said.

With Umbridge gone and the doors open, breakfast continued without any further incident. Harry had been sure Dumbledore would show up and see what had happened, but either no one had bothered to tell him, or he didn't care.

When they'd finished, the five of them started for the dungeons. Aderes had yet to remove his arm from around Harry's waist as he talked with Hermione. Ron was actually grinning, even though they were walking towards the Potions class. Draco on the other hand looked sick. "You okay?"

Draco's eyes darted to Harry. Instead of saying anything, he nodded and then dropped his gaze back to the floor.

_Weird…_

Harry frowned when they arrived at the Potion's classroom. Students crowded around outside the room, all of them talking. The Gryffindors were on one side, snickering and grinning, while the Slytherins were across from them glaring.

Aderes released Harry and strode towards the Slytherins. "What's going on?"

Pansy rushed to the front of the crowd, shoving a few other Slytherin out of the way. "Someone destroyed Professor Snape's classroom."

Aderes raised an eyebrow and looked through the door. "Someone's mad."

"Yeah?" Harry joined him and looking over Aderes's shoulder. Mad was a bit of an understatement. Pansy hadn't been exaggerating when she'd used the word 'destroyed'. Books were all over the floor, pages torn out and scattered throughout. Snape's desk had caved in down the middle, and unable to stand, its contents lying around it. The bookcases in the room laid on the floor, their shelves pulled out and snapped in two. The tables the students sat at no longer had legs, the tops broken into smaller pieces and thrown. One piece had actually hit Snape's office door and embedded itself. The door itself was barely hanging from its hinges. Cauldrons in the room sat melted to their bases. Potion ingredients and their vials had been smashed leaving a strange mist hanging in the air. Vials that had once held potions laid shattered; their contents thrown haphazardly about. One of Snape's walls had grown fur as a result of one, and a hole was forming in one of the corners thanks to another.

Harry stepped back from the door, not wanting to see anymore. He didn't like Snape; the professor had made his life a living hell since he'd arrived, but did he really deserve this? There had been that one time Snape had saved him from Quirell. _No, he deserves this_, he thought, grinning. Especially after last night. And while this would surely enrage Snape, he hadn't been physically harmed, so Harry could enjoy the display without feeling too guilty. _He watched you slice your own hand open last night_. And yet, Harry still had a tiny sliver of guilt for enjoying Snape's rotten luck for the day. First the oatmeal and now this.

"Has Snape seen it yet," Aderes asked.

"No," Pansy answered quickly, her eyes daring anyone else to answer Aderes.

"I'd say we should clean it up, but… he'll probably want to see the extent of the damage, so he knows how many detentions to hand out to whoever did this."

Pansy began bobbing her head. "Yes! He'll definitely want to see this!"

Aderes turned his back on her and led Harry away from the door. The other three followed them.

"This is strange," Hermione said, quietly. "I can understand someone going after that—"

"Toad," Aderes offered.

Hermione smiled. "Yes, that toad, but why go after Professor Snape after all this time? He's never treated anyone outside of Slytherin decent and I can't imagine a first year capable of doing this."

"Maybe he got the wrong seventh year mad," Ron said.

"For this kind of spell work, probably," Hermione said, biting her bottom lip. "But that's foolish. There are very few students taking N.E.W.T. level Potions and Defense."

"Unless it was Peeves," Aderes said, leaning against the stone wall. "Or a house-elf that's gone mad."

"C-can that happen," Harry asked, paling. The idea of Dobby losing his mind and causing mischief was terrifying considering what he could do with his mind intact.

"If they're really old," Draco muttered.

"Why aren't you in the room," Snape demanded as he walked towards them. He swept passed the students and into the Potion's room, freezing a second later. He turned, taking in the room from one side to the other, slowly. When the scene seemed to process in his mind, he looked back at the students, his eyes narrowed. "Who did this?!"

"It was like this when we got here," Aderes said. "It seems you've angered the wrong person this year."

Snape's face began slowly taking on a red color. "All of you go to the library now," he said, his voice somehow calm. "You will be looking up each ingredient for an Invigoration Draught. I want a full explanation for each ingredient. We'll be mixing the potion itself on Monday. Madam Pince will take attendance. Should anyone decide not to go to the library, you will be serving detention in my room."

Most of the Gryffindors groaned, not that the Slytherins looked exactly pleased. Harry had a feeling Madam Pince wouldn't be either.

"Would you like some help cleaning up the classroom," Aderes asked.

"You have an assignment to finish."

"One we both know I could orally give you all the answers to this very second if you wished."

"Fine," Snape said.

"I expect you to finish the assignment," Aderes said, touching Harry's hand. "All the answers are in the book."

Harry nodded, wishing the bond was open enough for him to ask what Aderes was thinking. He wouldn't think twice about Hermione offering to help McGonagall or Flitwick with something, though. And Snape was Aderes's head of house. "I'll see you at lunch." Aderes didn't turn to acknowledge him.

"Are you two fighting," Ron asked as they headed for the steps.

"Not exactly." Aderes had explained himself to Harry, but he wasn't exactly sure how he felt about any of it. Aderes wanted to be with him. Did it really matter if it'd started off as a way to make Dumbledore angry? Even if it did matter, he was pretty sure he couldn't get himself to care about it enough to do anything about it. Just last night he'd almost burst into tears when Aderes hadn't picked him up from his detention, even though they hadn't agreed on such a thing. There was just some part of him that believed Aderes was always going to be close by. "I just needed him to answer something and he wouldn't. We talked this morning though."

"That's not a fight," Ron said, looking disappointed.

"Why do you want them to fight," Hermione asked, a slight glare on her face.

"Because the guy is a creep."

"Take that back," Pansy shouted, rushing towards them.

_Great._

"Pansy," Draco said.

"This has nothing to do with you, Draco!"

"Aderes doesn't need you defending him."

"He had you in tears in Creatures the other day," Ron said. "How can you defend him?"

"You don't deserve him," A Slytherin girl yelled at Harry.

Harry blinked at that. Why did Ron insulting Aderes make him unworthy? He wasn't going to tell Ron not to call Aderes a creep; he was. He still cared about him and wanted to date him, but there was no denying his boyfriend was a creep. If he hadn't fallen for him, there was no telling how everything would have played out. The teen had shoved himself into a necklace and mailed himself to Harry's Muggle family's house as a birthday gift. He'd never even talked to Harry before that. If not for everything Aderes had done for him and the mental bond…

_Wait…_ Had he fell for Aderes like he had because of the bond? "Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"Po—"

Harry ignored the Slytherin girl who seemed to have gone into a full-blown tangent and quickened his pace to catch up with Hermione. "What do you know about mental bonds?"

"What do you mean?"

Harry did a quick look around. The Slytherin girl hadn't noticed he'd walked around her and was yelling at air, her eyes closed. Pansy and Draco were fighting, and Ron had already caught up with them. No one else seemed to be paying them any attention. "Well, like two people's minds are connected. They can read each other's thought or feel their emotions. You can talk that way too," he tried to explain quietly.

"… I've never heard of such a thing, why?"

"With all the reading you've done, you've never come across anything like that at all?" How was that possible?

"I don't know everything," she said, her face turning red. "There are Legilimens. Those are witches and wizards who can read people's minds, but not the way you're talking about."

"I'm not a Legilimens."

"I never said you were."

"That would be awesome if you were though, you could find out the answers to any test a teacher threw at us. Even Snape's pop quizzes."

This wasn't good. If Hermione didn't know what this kind of bond was or how it was formed, the only one with any possible answers would be Aderes or Dumbledore. He hadn't asked either of them, but he suspected they would not explain it to him either.

**(X)**

As soon as Snape was inside the classroom and the door shut, Aderes began snickering. Snape glared at him, which only made him happier. Yes, Snape was not happy, and so he was. "Perhaps you should find a new way to entertain yourself."

"I did not do this," Snape said, coldly. He fixed Aderes with a look, surprise crossing his features a second later.

"You cannot probe into my mind." He smirked when he saw Snape's eyes widened. "I'll save you some trouble. I am responsible for the little display here." He sat on what was left of one side of Snape's desk.

"Potter," he snarled.

"So, you do have the ability known as common sense. I owe Draco a few Galleons."

"If you think for a second—" Snape started towards him, his hand moving towards his wand pocket. With a single move of his hand, Aderes sent Snape's wand flying across the room. The Potion's Master stopped in his tracks. "Do you really think you can avoid detention after doing this? You'll be expelled if word gets out you attacked a teacher."

"If I was a normal student, yes," Aderes agreed. "Unfortunately for you, Dumbledore needs me here. I believe it would be in your best interest to make a deal—"

"I do not strike deals with students—"

"You might want to listen before you turn me down," Aderes said. He could tell Snape was losing his nerve the longer they spoke. Good. "I saw my boyfriend's hand this morning," he said, smiling, his eyes narrowed. "And there was a rather nasty looking cut on it, strangely enough in the shape of a sentence."

The blood began draining from Snape's face.

"He wouldn't tell me what happened, but finding out was easy enough. So, you can stop terrorizing Harry and go on living a very full and natural life or you can continue to play with Umbridge and meet an untimely end. Make no mistake, the very idea of taking one of Voldemort's playthings and sending it back to him mutilated delights me."

"You're a fool if you think I believe a word you're saying. You're a fifth-year student! You wouldn't even know where to find the Dark Lord!"

"No? I'm certain he's not far from London right now, trying his best to enter a certain location—"

"ENOUGH!"

"Oh, that's right. He's a Legilimens too." He snickered again. "I suppose he would be mad to see that I'm still alive and Dumbledore would be livid if you let him know. You may want to remove this memory before any secret meetings with him. I'd feel awful for getting Draco's favorite teacher murdered… for a few seconds, anyway."

Aderes watched Snape's defenses give. He slumped against the closest wall. Yes, Snape was beginning to see the true amount of trouble he was currently in. "How is this even possible?"

"I'm afraid that's between myself, Dumbledore, and Voldemort." The look Snape gave him made his very spirit dance. "There is plenty you are not aware of. I would suggest you do not harm Harry anymore. I will personally see to it that you live in agony each time you do."

Snape nodded, numbly. Pleased, Aderes started for the door. He wished he could continue. Breaking Snape wasn't enough, but he'd promised Draco. "I know Dumbledore enjoys having you around and Draco would be utterly lost without you." He opened the door and turned to Snape. "I will leave you to clean up the mess you made here. If you try to warn Umbridge, I'll kill you." He left the Potion's room.

**(X)**

"Last one is Lovage," Ron whispered.

Harry flipped through the glossary pages at the back of the book until he was on the l's. "The full name is Levisticum officinale."

Ron made a face. "How do you spell that?"

"L e—"

"You have a book, look it up yourself," Aderes said, taking a seat next to Harry. Ron glared at him. Not that Aderes seemed to care. "Are you done?"

"Ron and I were working together." Harry motioned to Hermione and Draco, who were sitting at another table. "They didn't want to work together."

"They don't need to work with others. Draco and Hermione have the highest scores in our year and outdo a few of the sixth-year students. If they actually attended the classes, I have no doubt they could handle N.E.W.T level materials."

"Well, right now they're stuck with us struggling O.W.L. level students," Ron said, grumpily.

"That doesn't mean it's their job to tutor fools who aren't worth the energy it takes to utter the word 'no' to."

"Aderes," Harry sighed. Why did his boyfriend have to hate his best friend so much? At least he'd never have to worry about Aderes cheating on him with Ron, but it'd be nice if Aderes could pretend to tolerate the redhead from time to time.

"I do happen to be in a very good mood though." He motioned to the parchment in Harry’s hand. Harry dipped his quill in the bottle of ink. Hesitantly, Ron did the same. "The spelling is L e v i s t i c u m o f f i c i n a l e. The desired properties are usually the inflammation of the brain." He paused, waiting until both Gryffindors had finished writing. "The parts used are the fruit and seed, rarely together. When mixed with the right ingredients, such as what we'll be doing Monday, it gives the drinker a caffeine like boost. Time and strength are directly relative to the amount used in the potion." 

Harry wrote the summary down in his own words. "Thanks." He placed his quill down, gave a quick look around, and kissed Aderes’s on the cheek. "You cleaned up Snape’s room pretty fast. Any clues as to who did it?"

"Yes. He went to talk to Dumbledore after we finished." 

"Who was it?"

"A student Snape angered." 

"Yeah, but who?" Aderes smiled. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"You'll probably find out."

"Fine. I wanted to ask you something else, anyway."

"Alright."

Harry placed his head in his hand and tapped his finger against his temple. Aderes opened the bond immediately.

'I like that.' 

'T, thanks.' 

'I was asking Hermione about the bond and—' Harry couldn’t hear his own thoughts after that due to Aderes’s laughter. 

'I bet she had no idea about what you were talking about.'

'No, she didn't.' 

'She won't. I never explained that part to her.'

'She mentioned something, Legilimens?'

'Yes, those are people capable of delving into other people's minds.'

'And you're a Legilimens.'

Mild surprise. 'Yes.' 

'I know I'm not. This bond is different….'

'You have no idea.' He started laughing again. 'I hope it doesn't bother you because I don't think we'll be breaking it anytime soon.'

'No, not really. I…' the thoughts he'd been having earlier crossed the bond before he could stop them.

'I understand, but I promise, that's not the case.' Aderes placed his hand on top of Harry’s.

Relief flooded Harry as he felt the truth in those words. 'Good.'

**TBC**


	23. Restraint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how a mini “outline list” ended up turning into two chapters. I have a feeling this story might double in chapters over all…  
Yeah… mini outlined up to the end of the original 17 chapters...it’s turning into a monster… x inches away x  
Warnings: This story is shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, whatever you want to call it, that’s what it is. Tom has declared himself Harry’s boyfriend and is not giving the position up. Remus has decided Sirius must repay him for all the hell he put him through during school by being his lover. (The feelings are mutual here.) Anyway, you’ve been warned.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

"We should probably get going," Aderes said.

Harry nodded, wondering how lunch could speed by while any class he attended dragged until both student and teacher were ready to fight to the death and offer the loser as a sacrifice for their freedom. Okay, it wasn't that bad, but it felt like it sometimes, especially now when they were leaving the safety of the Great Hall for the unknown chaos and horrors of Defense. With the way things were going, he'd rather be attending a second Potions class or even another History of Magic. School was rather depressing when your favorite class suddenly became the one you hated the most.

"Wish she'd just send us to the library or study hall," Ron said. "It's not like she's teaching us anything."

"For once, I agree with you. We'd learn more defense by throwing rocks at each other than attending this bleeder's class," Aderes said.

_At least they can agree on something._ A shame it had to be their dislike for the Defense teacher. Hogwarts had had its fair share of horrible Defense teachers, but all of them, Lockhart included, had taught them something. Funny, even when Voldemort had hijacked the back of Quirrell's head, the professor had still taught them proper Defense, but the woman from the Ministry department wasn't. Harry couldn't help making a face at that. Fudge feared the students of Hogwarts more than he feared Voldemort. _Draco was right. Fudge is completely mental._

There was nothing any of them could do about Fudge's mental state though. Harry had already indirectly gotten him sent to St. Mungo's for a mental checkup, and the healers there had failed to do their jobs correctly or someone had threatened them until they'd lied to the Daily Prophet.

_Worry about that after class._ Easier said than done, considering how jumbled up his feelings were. The closer they came to the Defense room, the tighter his lungs felt. His scratched-up hand began to hurt as if to remind him that danger was nearby. Just what he needed, his forehead scar warning him when Voldemort was nearby and his hand scratch warning him about Umbridge.

He glanced over at his boyfriend. He wanted Aderes's arm around him, but he was talking with Draco and interrupting them didn't seem right.

"Are you okay," Hermione asked.

Harry opened his mouth and closed it before anyone could notice, his gaze drifting from Aderes back to his bag. The only thing that might help would be staying close to Aderes. _Stop it._ He could not remain attached to his boyfriend for the entire school year. _It's just because this is new. _That had to be the case. He wanted to stay by Aderes, to enjoy the warmth and happiness being near him brought, because he'd never experience such things before. The last ten years of his life hadn't exactly had much love in them, except for Mrs. Weasley who was now gone.

_Don't… _If he started thinking about Mrs. Weasley he'd crumble.

"Harry?" Aderes touched his hand gently.

Harry looked up, Aderes's eyes meeting his own. "Yeah?"

Smiling, Aderes wrapped an arm around Harry's waist, pulling him close.

Harry's face burned and he leaned in closer, grateful that Aderes understood him so well.

"You look tired. Maybe you should take a nap during your free period."

Harry nodded, though he doubted he could fall asleep. The potion Aderes had given him at breakfast was enough to keep him moving for the rest of the day. Perhaps he could use the free period for something better, like sneaking out the back door and making his way back to number twelve before anyone realized he'd left. The toad couldn't make him serve detention if he wasn't at Hogwarts.

_No._ He wasn't the bravest person, but he was no coward. He'd finish his detentions, enjoying the looks of disappointment on Umbridge's face when she realized he wouldn't crack, at least not in front of her. Then he'd make sure to never get another detention from the psycho again.

"Should I sit next to you to make sure you don't fall asleep?"

"Eh…" If Aderes sat next to him, he might see the marks on his hand. If he told him no, he would probably get mad. "Probably a good idea." He'd just have to keep his hand out of sight.

"There you are, Aderes." The headmaster was smiling brightly, standing in front of the Defense room. "I believe there is a pressing matter we must address. Immediately."

Aderes snorted. "I have class."

"Then we best do this quickly."

Scowling, Aderes turned to Draco. "Make sure Harry doesn't fall asleep in class." He removed his arm from around Harry and kissed him gently. "I'll be back soon."

"Okay," Harry managed, his entire face red.

"This better be important," Aderes growled.

"It is," Dumbledore said, beaming.

Harry watched the two leave, his stomach knotting up. The idea of going back into the Defense room was bad enough. Going back without Aderes? Dumbledore had said they'd hurry.

"He'll be back, Potter."

"I know." Harry felt two hands on his arm. They pushed him, and he stumbled into the classroom, Draco following him. The sudden onslaught of pink and kittens pulled him back to reality.

"What in the hell is this," Draco demanded. He grabbed Harry's arm, holding it in front of his body like a shield.

"Defense," Harry muttered, looking at Draco. Since when did Draco touch him?

Ron stood beside Harry, his mouth hanging open. "This is not Defense! That tosser turned everything pink and there's enough lace in here for the whole class to hang themselves with! And what's with the kittens running around everywhere," Ron shouted, horrified. "How are we supposed to learn anything!?"

Harry shrugged. "It's not like we were learning anything before she destroyed the classroom." Taking a breath, he removed his arm from Draco's grip and started towards a desk at the very back of the room, and sat down, his eyes instantly going to Umbridge's desk where he knew the black quill was lying in wait for him. He could hardly keep his mental state together just from entering the room. How was he supposed to handle another detention this evening?

His mind pleaded with him to at least risk asking Aderes to meet him halfway after detention that evening so he wouldn't be alone again after hours of having his hand sliced into. He couldn’t, though. Aderes would see his hand and who knew what that would result in. Ron was Harry's best friend and so Aderes seemed to tolerate him, and he'd won a trip into a wall and a vacation in unconsciousness for trying to hit Harry. What would Aderes do to a woman he clearly despised and was making Harry carve words into his own flesh?

Even if by some chance he could keep the wound concealed, asking Aderes to stay up late seemed akin to signing a death wish. A sleep-deprived Aderes stumbling to meet Harry and seeing him thoroughly upset, he had no misconceptions that he could hide his fear and overall mental breakdown once he left the detention, would not be good. It would probably lead to something far worse than Umbridge receiving a concussion.

"The Defense room isn't supposed to look like this," Ron said moodily and dropped into the chair next to Harry.

Harry agreed. The room they were supposed to learn to fight and defend in, to learn how to survive against Death Eaters and horrible people like Voldemort, should not look like a pink boutique shop or sound like a kitten auction house. The other fifth year students seemed to think so too. The few who had entered left, staying inside only long enough to turn around, strange expressions on their faces, their brains no doubt trying to process what they'd just seen.

"Well it does," Harry grumbled. He took another deep breath, trying to settle his nerves. He'd thought returning during the day with his friends would make the whole thing bearable. Instead, he wanted to puke.

"This is exactly why we need Fred and George's snack box."

"Snack box," Harry asked.

"Don't listen to him, Harry. Fred and George have been working on these candies that make you ill," Hermione said, hotly.

"They have antidotes," Ron huffed. "You get sick, and on your way to the infirmary you take the cure so you can ditch class."

Harry briefly remembered the twins talking about sending Percy something called a 'Puking Pastille' and not sending an antidote. If that's what the snack boxes were, they sounded exactly like something Fred and George would come up with and while he'd never tell Hermione given her current reaction, useful.

"Yes, because the cures work perfectly," Hermione said, her voice full of sarcasm.

"They're working on them," Ron said, defensively.

"Do they always fight like this," Draco asked, taking a seat on Harry's other side.

"Kind of."

"A first year almost bled to death the other day!"

Ron's face turned pink. "Yeah, but he didn't. They got it under control."

"You're impossible!" Hermione huffed and moved to the last desk in the aisle.

"Girls," Ron sighed, loudly.

Draco didn't seem to want to get involved and instead of saying anything, began pulling out his book and note taking items.

Ron kicked the front left leg of the desk he was sitting in, a sour look on his face. "...Why do you think Dumbledore wanted to talk to Aderes," Ron asked.

_Good question. _There were plenty of reasons Harry could guess as to why the headmaster would want to pull Aderes to the side. Given that he'd just helped Snape clean up the Potion's room, though, it was probably related to that. On the other hand, Aderes was weird at times and did very questionable things. "Maybe something about the Potion's classroom being destroyed.… Or something else." Given the look on Ron's face, Harry knew he understood what he meant by 'something else.'

"Some boyfriend you got there," Ron muttered.

"Probably not for long," Harry whispered. Ron's look darkened and Draco stopped what he was doing, staring at Harry. "Not because of Voldemort," he said, realizing what Ron at least was thinking. "The git told me the other day if I don't live up to his standards, he would disown me."

"What does he expect from you," Ron asked.

"Passing grades in every class and at least an Acceptable for every O.W.L."

Ron's mouth dropped open. "That's… You don't have to put up with that!"

"I do," Harry groaned, dropping his head onto the desk. "I haven't told you and Hermione everything yet." Like how he was mentally connected to Aderes and how just the thought of giving up the necklace, even to Dumbledore, made him go into withdrawal. Until he was able to get past those feelings, he was at Aderes's mercy.

"Just because you don't want to apply yourself, Weasley, doesn't mean Potter shouldn't. What's wrong with Aderes wanting Potter to improve himself?"

Ron glared at Draco. "Fred and George break it off with girls all the time when they get that way."

"I told him I'd try, but—"

"That just means your brothers don't think those girls are worth it," Draco said.

"If he wants someone as smart as Hermione, he needs to go date her and leave Harry alone!"

"That's not up to you!"

_Draco fits right in._ "He really should," Harry said, both looking at him again. The same thought had occurred to him multiple times. Why didn't Aderes just date Hermione? Or Draco for that matter if he wanted someone with a brain? Both of them were far better choices when it came to looks, and especially where intelligence was concerned. Just listening to some of the material in the past few days had made his brain die and his eyes glaze over. Even if he tried, the chances of him actually succeeding in passing every class with an Acceptable or higher were slim.

"Don't give up because Weasley's an idiot," Draco snapped. "You can pass your classes if you try."

It was Harry's turn to stare at Draco. The Slytherin had never uttered a word of praise for Harry, ever. Draco turned away, his face going pink. "If you just work a bit harder, you won't have any problems."

Harry wanted to ask where the real Draco had gone and to tell the impersonator who had to be downing Draco flavored Polyjuice potion that he was doing a horrible job, when he saw Umbridge's bright pink robes come into view, and all of his thoughts died.

"Good afternoon class," Umbridge sang, walking to the front of the classroom. She stopped in front of her desk, grinning ear to ear as she took them all in. She stood there, seeming to be expecting something. The students waited with her, the only sounds coming from the kittens. "… I believe we had this talk the other day," she said, a slight edge to her voice. "Good afternoon, class."

"Afternoon," a few students mumbled, none of them enthusiastic.

Umbridge's smile faltered. "I am your professor and expect you to treat me with the respect I deserve. Now everyone. Good afternoon, class."

_Professors teach_, Harry thought.

"Good afternoon," a few more students said.

"We can keep this up the entire class period if need be." She gave one of her high-pitched laughs.

"I'd rather learn manners from Lucius Malfoy," Ron muttered.

Harry brought his hand up to his mouth to keep himself from laughing too loudly. Even Draco's mouth pulled up into a half smile.

"I could easily give out detentions to everyone."

Harry's heart stopped until he realized there was no way she could possibly make two fifth-year houses participate in writing sentences with their own blood without some sort of consequence following. One of them, no doubt a Slytherin, would get in touch with someone who would raise hell at the injustice their daughter or son was enduring. Or a crowd of Gryffindor parents would show up ready for a fight. Maybe both. Maybe that's how they'd get rid of the toerag.

When no one said anything in response to her threat, her smile disappeared.

It was strange how unified and stubborn a group of Gryffindors and Slytherins could be when they equally despised their professor. He'd expected the Slytherins to say 'good afternoon' together to get the Gryffindors in trouble, but their eyes were burning with as much hatred as the Gryffindors' were towards Umbridge.

"Fine," she shrieked, throwing her hands into the air. "All of you can serve detention together Saturday evening!"

The students didn't seem concerned, a few of them glancing at each other, others shrugging. Harry had a feeling no one would be showing up Saturday night.

Their calm reaction did not seem to be what Umbridge was expecting. She looked like someone was choking her as her eyes glided from one side of the room to the other, her hands slowly tightening into fists. "GET YOUR BOOKS OUT AND READ CHAPTER TWO!"

The class began rummaging through their bags, taking books out. Harry pulled out his own as well as his items for writing. If he wasn't going to learn anything, he might as well use the time productively. He dipped his quill into some ink, his breath catching when he wrote the words 'Padfoot' across the top. Ron gave him a concerned look, but he ignored it and continued with his letter.

So much has happened, and it's only been four days since school started. Turns out what we thought was one thing was something completely different. So, I have a—

He stared at the letter, unable to finish the sentence. Sirius would probably be thrilled to know he was dating someone, weird as Aderes was, but he just couldn't write the word 'boyfriend.' There was no way his godfather would think it strange he was dating a guy; Sirius was dating Remus, after all.

He ran a line through the last sentence.

I'm dating now.

His eyes wouldn't move past those words. Seeing it in ink with the intention of sending it to Sirius made him nervous. Like he was telling him a secret. Aderes wasn't making any attempts to hide their relationship, though. Suddenly he felt like he was involved in some kind of scandal.

_I can't._ He took the piece of parchment and shoved it into his bag.

**(X)**

"I believe I asked you not to attack the staff," Dumbledore said, raising an eyebrow.

"You said not to attack 'innocent' staff," Aderes countered as he sat up in the chair on the other side of Dumbledore's desk. Which he had only agreed to because the list was so short. What staff members could possibly be considered innocent in this school? Flitwick of course and Sprout. Madam Hooch seemed to be strict, but not guilty of anything noteworthy.

The rest of them had plenty of things they were trying to hide. Snape was a child abusing arsehole who worked as a spy for Voldemort or Dumbledore, probably both. He tormented Harry, which was more than enough to be guilty as far as he cared. Hagrid, well. He wasn't going there, not when Harry could possibly stumble through his thoughts. McGonagall had driven him mad when he was younger. But her real offense was for not kicking Dumbledore in the shin and making him fetch Harry from the Dursley's immediately, knowing how horrible they were. Filch… he'd be in Dumbledore's office all day listing off that thing's crimes. The only thing he didn't fault Filch with was how he treated his cat.

The headmaster was staring down at him with the same exact tired and torn look that he often wore when Aderes was involved with something. It would be amusing if it wasn't so… pathetic was probably the best word. Dumbledore was by no means stupid, but he was under the impression that Aderes would stop doing things that would land him in the headmaster's office. _Wishful_, he decided, though if asked verbally by anyone he would say pathetic.

"And what did Professor Snape do that was so wrong that you felt the need to destroy the Potion's classroom?"

"He didn't stop Umbridge," Aderes said, his eyes flashing. "Did he tell you what Harry's detention entailed?"

Dumbledore paused, a frown joining his already haggard look. "He said Harry was writing lines."

Aderes chuckled at that. "Of course, he did. I guess he forgot to mention that that toad was having Harry write the lines with his own blood?" He smirked, watching the quick change of emotions fighting for dominance on Dumbledore's face. Disbelief, anger, confusion. "That's right. That wench is using blood inking and Snape did nothing to stop her. He seemed to enjoy the show actually." And so, he'd enjoyed his own show. He hadn't opened the bond yet to feel Harry's reaction, but he was sure his boyfriend had loved seeing the destruction he'd carried out on the Potion's classroom.

He'd warned the toad too, but her warning had been far more contained, inside her personal living quarters no less. If he lashed out at both of them openly on the same day, it might take a while, but Harry would put everything together and get mad at him. He was proud at how conservative he'd been with Umbridge, only burning a single sentence, 'Leave Harry Potter Alone' into the wall with the room's door. Why, he'd even been considerate enough to write it in large, arm-length letters making it utterly impossible to miss!

It seemed she had not reported the damage yet, or Dumbledore would be lecturing him about that too.

"Why didn't you come tell me as soon as you found out," Dumbledore demanded.

"You had a meeting this morning," he said, shrugging. "It didn't seem worth bothering you for when I could handle it myself."

"Rather, you purposely made sure you would get to handle it yourself." The headmaster snapped.

True enough. He wasn't about to pass up a chance to play the role of Harry's hero. "We're_ supposedly_ on the same side and want Harry safe," Aderes reminded him. Dumbledore could go on all he wanted about keeping Harry safe, that Harry was the only one capable of stopping Voldemort, but he'd failed Harry during the Gytrash incident. "If that's something you're no longer capable of doing…" He let the sentence hang.

Dumbledore looked torn for a moment before finally nodding. "If Umbridge continues with the blood inking, get the detention stopped, immediately. Without hurting anyone."

Well, that took all the fun out of it. "She's rather stupid. I can't be held responsible if she jumps in front of a spell."

"Aderes…" Dumbledore said, his voice full of warning.

"I make no promises," Aderes sighed, standing up. He stretched his arms, smirking at Dumbledore when their eyes met. "Harry's safety is my only concern."

"You are not the only one who cares about him."

"No, but I'm the only one who will protect him."

"You know that's not true."

"Isn't it? If I hadn't disobeyed you, Harry would have died because of that Gytrash scratch."

"Or rather I planned for everything, knowing full well you weren't going to listen to me in the first place."

Aderes snorted. "Even if that were the case, it was a stupid and pointless risk to take. If Harry dies because of you, I'll never forgive you." _Don't think about that. _He sighed again, shaking his head. "I have to get back to class. I suppose I'll be seeing you again soon." He stepped out of the office, slamming the door shut behind him.

**(X)**

Dumbledore let out a long sigh after the door closed. He'd known Umbridge getting involved in the school would cause problems, but he'd never imagined she'd go as far as torturing his students. The woman was playing a dangerous game. He might not have proof that she was the cause of Harry's scratches, even if he did, no one would believe him or Harry thanks to Fudge, but she'd made a mistake in letting Severus watch. Not to mention getting on Aderes's bad side.

He couldn't help smiling slightly at that. It was good that Harry and Aderes had gotten together. The two of them brought forth good traits in each other. Aderes made Harry want to try harder in school. Harry calmed Aderes down and made him happy. For now, anyway.

Well, best to get things started. He needed to write to Fudge and explain to the man that he would not allow such tactics to be used against his students, regardless if Umbridge deemed it a suitable punishment. Blood inking was a form of torture and decreed as such by the Ministry of Magic.

He removed a piece of parchment and began writing a letter detailing exactly what would happen should Fudge not get his subordinate under control. That there would be consequences. He would warn the parents about what was going on and should some of the details, photos included, leak to the Daily Prophet. Well, Fudge knew how determined the reporters could be, and Dumbledore could only do so much to hide such a story from anyone.

Dumbledore didn't like stooping to such a level. Truly, he'd hoped Umbridge would come, teach the students properly, and Fudge would calm down. Instead, the woman had been at Hogwarts for less than a week and was not only failing to teach the students anything; she was torturing them. And of course, she'd chosen Harry out of everyone to begin with. The one student at Hogwarts with a boyfriend that was so overly protective Umbridge's life was now in danger. He could try and stop Aderes, but then he would have to watch him every second of the day until Umbridge changed her ways.

He'd known the year was going to be a handful, especially after Aderes had pulled his stunt with the necklace, but he hadn't thought it would be this much of a hassle so soon. "But then, when is love not a hassle?" he asked himself with a smile.

**(X)**

Harry had fought over whether or not to ask Aderes to meet him after his detention was over through both free periods and all of dinner. In the end, common sense had won and he had kept his mouth shut. He didn't want his boyfriend to be a grumpy mess due to lack of sleep or to end up in Azkaban for harming Umbridge after he found out what she was doing. _Or kill her_, he thought, frowning. As horrible of a person as this toad was turning out to be, he refused to be the cause of yet another death, unless it was Voldemort's.

He entered the Defense room and went straight to the desk with the quill lying on top. Where's Snape? He'd been sure the Potion's Master would be hanging around all his detentions, enjoying the torture Umbridge was putting him through. Instead, Filch was sitting in a corner, grinning at him. He wondered if she was selling tickets to the show and for how much.

"Good evening, Mister Potter," Umbridge said. Her voice sounded somewhat different, lacking its overall honey coating.

"Good evening Professor Umbridge."

He picked the quill up. _The faster I start, the sooner my hand will go numb_. Then the detention would be nothing more than line writing. Would the scratches be more visible after this detention? How was he supposed to hide them if they were? Eventually he'd snog Aderes and his boyfriend would see the red marks carved into his hand. The only solution for that was for him to not make out with his boyfriend. _Yeah, right._ Given the way their relationship was, though, it might be good if they took a step back. There were a few things not quite right when it came to Aderes and their relationship. Things he was all too willing to ignore that any other sane person wouldn't. The real question was, why? Was it because of the bond or…?

_I can't just give everything up._ He hadn't even been able to hand the necklace over without going into a state of withdrawal during the summer holiday, and he did like Aderes. _A lot_. Maybe things were strange with them, but his life wasn't exactly normal on any level_. I don't care_. He knew he should, maybe did, a little, but not right now while he was stuck in a detention enduring minor torture. He just wanted to stay with Aderes for as long as he possibly could. Bond or not, he enjoyed having such strong feelings for someone, even if they were inconvenient at times. And made him out to be overly dependent. And—

A particularly deep cut into his hand made him wince.

'Didn't I tell you, you're not to take on the world by yourself?'

It was the only warning Harry got as Aderes's hand in shadow form clapped down over his own. He hissed at the sudden pain, and within seconds it was fading, then gone. Aderes jerked the quill out of his hand and turned towards Umbridge.

'Aderes, don't!' He jumped to his feet, his chair falling over as he grabbed Aderes's arm. The anger radiating from his boyfriend was enough to warn him that the entire school was in danger of going up in flames. 'I can't lose you!'

'What she's doing is illegal.' His voice was calm, but Harry could feel the undertones of hatred.

"What are you doing," Umbridge demanded. She got out of her chair and started towards Harry.

Harry realized how odd the scene before Umbridge must look. Harry was holding onto an invisible arm with both hands, the black quill floating in the air and aimed at her head.

"What are you doing," Aderes asked, his eyes narrowing. Umbridge stopped. "I have every right to carve up your body," he hissed. "Unfortunately, others would disapprove of such methods." He snapped the quill in half and dropped it onto the floor. "Harm him again and I make no promises you'll survive the school year."

'Please!' Aderes wanted to hurt her, bad. Images of Umbridge's room flashed through his mind, Aderes burning letters into her wall. He gasped, releasing Aderes's arm as wave after wave of rage filled the bond. The hatred was consuming everything in Aderes's mind.

"I am a Ministry—"

'Aderes! I hate her too, but if you kill her, they'll just separate us!'

Something seemed to click in Aderes's mind. The darkness vanished and Harry could no longer keep up with Aderes's thoughts.

"I don't care what you are. I'm the curse put on the Defense Against the Dark Art's teaching position, courtesy of Voldemort," he said, his voice full of arrogance.

Umbridge's eyes widened and Filch made a strange noise from the corner.

'Wh, what!?' He gaped at his boyfriend.

'Curses can take on many forms.' He lifted Harry's bag, before grabbing Harry's left hand.

'She's going to know you're lying!'

'We'll be gone before her desolate brain figures that out.'

Harry waited for some sort of retaliation, but none came from either adult, dread forming. 'Why aren't they moving?'

'Body binding spell.' He tugged on Harry's hand, pulling him towards the door. "Come on."

'But…' The rage from Aderes had tired him out, not to mention the relief once it had passed.

'I was told to free you.' With another tug, Harry found himself in the hallway. Aderes shut the door.

Harry blinked as an image of Dumbledore flashed through the bond. "He didn't give you permission to—"

"His exact words were, stop the detention without harming anyone. I believe I left her, regrettably, very much alive and in good health." He shook his head at the door, his annoyance clear. Harry could see there were still plenty more things Aderes wanted to do to Umbridge and how much restraint it was taking for him not to go back in and skin the woman alive. "Should she try this again, well…" He started to laugh, Harry trying to push the murderous thoughts from his mind.

He needed to distract Aderes before he decided he didn't care about Dumbledore's words and went back into the classroom because he didn't think he could get Aderes to stop a second time. "I have to make this detention up now," he sighed.

"No, you won't." He started for the stairs, turning back when he noticed Harry wasn't following him. "Come on."

"You can't just…"

"Dumbledore wants to see your hand."

Harry wanted to protest but getting Aderes away from Umbridge and into Dumbledore's office was probably the safest option right now. "Okay."

"If you think Dumbledore is capable of stopping me, you're mistake," he chuckled, until his eyes landed on Harry's right hand. His body froze, another rush of anger storming the bond.

"I'll be okay," Harry said, quickly.

"…Just bear with this a little longer. Dumbledore wants to take pictures of your hand before I heal it."

Harry nodded.

A blush crept across Aderes's face, something to do with Harry's trust in him. The thoughts became tangled seconds later and they started for Dumbledore's office.

**(TBC)**


	24. The Last Detention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess not everyone enjoyed the last chapter, but I wanted to do a buildup.  
Warnings: This story is shounen-ai. Yaoi, gay, slash, etc. etc. Harry/Tom Sirius/Remus and vice versa.  
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

With the bond almost closed and the threat to Umbridge's life no longer eminent, the reality of what had almost just happened started to sink in. The darkness coursing through Aderes’s mind was so… He shuddered.

"Harry?" Aderes slowed down, a look of concern on his face. 

How could someone that felt so much hatred care for anyone? "I'm okay. It's just colder than last night."

"I could warm you up," Aderes suggested with a smirk. He tried to pull Harry beside him, but the Gryffindor dug his heels into the floor and shook his head.

"I'm good."

Aderes frowned. "Are you sure?" Harry nodded. "Well, I'm not." He gave a rather hard tug, Harry’s arm erupting in pain as he staggered forward, Aderes's arm wrapping tightly around his waist. 

_What have I gotten myself into?_ His heart was beating fast enough to break his ribs now. _He didn't actually… but he wanted to and if I hadn't stopped him…_ His body began shaking worse despite his efforts to keep his growing fear in check. Aderes was dangerous. What if he turned that darkness on Harry, if he did something his boyfriend didn't like? Would Aderes hurt him? They'd already had a few rows over the summer, but any pain he'd experienced had been from the bond forming. But Aderes had thrown Ron into a wall without a second thought and hadn't felt any remorse. In fact, the bond had shown Harry that his boyfriend had not only felt completely justified in turning Ron into a rag doll, he'd enjoyed it.

"I'm surprised this is bothering you. You're usually more resilient to cold than this."

He held Harry closer, warmth flowing through Harry’s body. "Maybe it's just from the detention…"

Aderes gave a small nod, anger flashing across his eyes. "That old man better stop this, tonight." 

Harry studied him a moment before nodding. This is what he'd wanted, right? For someone to save him? For Umbridge to be punished. Aderes had done nothing that would lead to him getting caught or anything illegal, really. You didn't get arrested and sent to Azkaban over a body binding spell. And while he couldn’t deny the darkness Aderes was harboring, he'd remained in control of it. He hadn’t gone into a blind rage and destroyed everything around him or harmed anyone. At least not that evening. And what Aderes had done to Snape’s classroom and Umbridge's room had been calculated. Not an emotional fit. _Am I really going to rationalize this?_

"You're very quiet."

"Thank you for stopping the detention." He dropped his head onto Aderes’s shoulder, ignoring how strange it would look if anyone came walking by. 

Aderes’s eyes widened a hint. "You're welcome…." 

They walked in silence, Harry’s unease growing. He needed to keep Aderes talking if he didn't want to overthink everything right now. “… So why is Voldemort’s curse on the Defense teaching position saving me?” He started laughing as soon as the words left his mouth. Whether from nervousness or the stupidity of Aderes’s lie, he wasn't sure.

“Voldemort’s weird,” Aderes snickered. 

Harry could feel Aderes’s body relaxing and even his face softened. _I can't push him away_. Despite having felt that rage and all the other dark feelings coursing through Aderes, he still cared for him. And Aderes had responded when he'd begged him not to hurt her. And he’d only used a body binding curse_. I knew it._ Sometime after Cedric's death, he'd lost his mind. 

"Harry." Aderes stopped at the bottom of the steps leading to Dumbledore’s office. "Are you sure everything is okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just… trying to figure some stuff out."

He tilted his head slightly to one side. "Such as?"

"I…. Never mind." He couldn't tell Aderes just how hard he'd fallen for him in such a short time. He'd laugh at him for sure, but then… He stared at Aderes, the Slytherin's face showing slight tints of red again.

"What?"

"You must have had some reason for mailing yourself to my house." And they'd been sharing a bed from day one. At some point they'd started dating, not that they'd ever talked about doing so or had even made it official. Having thought Aderes wasn't a living person, he'd just allowed himself to go with his feelings, treating the necklace like a security blanket. Aderes had known they were both living humans though and had decided to walk right into his life and had just assumed Harry would like him. How had Aderes even known he would like Harry? What if he’d gotten to Harry’s house and found out he hated him? "I feel like I'm missing something."

“Come on.” Aderes removed his arm from around Harry and started up the stairs at a fast walk. “We’re coming in,” he said, without knocking. 

Harry followed. _He's not telling me something._

Aderes opened the door, his shadow self, flickering between color and black until his real self held.

Harry almost screamed out, then realized Dumbledore seemed to already know everything about Aderes. He wouldn’t have let him stay at number twelve otherwise. _Right… Dumbledore isn't worried._ He let out a breath and leaned against the doorframe, dropping his gaze to the floor as his eyes widened.…. _Dumbledore isn't the best judge in character_. 

Aderes burst into laughter. The headmaster looked at them curiously, Harry’s face burning as he realized Aderes had opened the bond back up.

'You have no idea how right you are!'

'That’s….' He knew Aderes was going to figure out soon enough that he'd been thinking about him and that he wouldn't be happy about it, at least not all of it. And that he… He locked eyes with Aderes, his entire body burning horribly. "I'm going to the dorm."

"Harry," Aderes protested between laughs. He grabbed Harry’s hand and dragged him into the room. "You can go after the old man gets photos." He closed the door once Harry was safely inside.

“You know, one day you're going to regret not knocking first,” Dumbledore said. He closed a book on his desk, smiling at them. “Thank you for coming, Harry.”

“Perhaps I’ll learn my lesson then.” He led Harry to the chair in front of Dumbledore’s desk and sat down on the armrest.

Harry sat down in the chair, his mind a windstorm. His internal alarms screamed at him to run. That staying with Aderes was a horrible idea. _But…_ He wanted to be with Aderes all the same. Maybe he held that same darkness within himself. He knew or was pretty sure he knew what Aderes was capable of and yet he couldn't imagine breaking it off with him. And the sorting hat had almost placed him in Slytherin.

"Being a Slytherin doesn't make you evil," Aderes sighed. "It means you're resourceful and don't give up on your goals." 

Harry stared at him. There was no way Aderes could pick up on such a minor thought and had somehow not noticed the glaring red sign in his brain screaming, 'I’m in love with Aderes Keaira,’ or whatever the bloody hell his last name was. "Are you purposely ignoring the other half of my thoughts?"

"Yes."

Harry glared at him as he held back a sigh. There were only a handful of reasons as to why Aderes would pretend to ignore a thought like that, and he didn’t care much for most of them. Any of them, really. It seemed he had some thinking to do. "Aderes said something about pictures?"

“Ah, yes. Just of your hand,” Dumbledore said. Harry placed his hand on Dumbledore’s desk so the partially carved sentence in his hand was visible. “I must not tell lies? I had no idea Umbridge was capable of understanding irony.”

“That’s what I thought,” Harry said, finding himself grinning.

Dumbledore picked up a small camera from the side of his desk and took a few photos of Harry’s hand. “I should warn you, Harry, if Umbridge continues this, I’ll be sending these photos to the Daily Prophet.”

Harry shrugged. What did he have to lose? He was more than happy to help in getting Umbridge in trouble, and it wasn’t like his face was visible in any of the photos, so only Umbridge would know whose hand it was. Considering what she was doing was illegal, he doubted she'd openly retaliate against him for it either. Besides, he really had more important things to worry about right now. Like, whether or not Aderes had some ulterior motives for dating him or whether Aderes cared for him even a fraction of how much he cared for Aderes. _Because my love life is somehow more important than my safety, _he thought, irritated.

“Are you done? I want to get some healing ointment on his hand before it scars,” Aderes said.

“Yes, for now.”

“Good.” He started for the door, looking to Harry when he realized he wasn’t next to him. “Come on.”

“C, coming.” Harry got to his feet, wishing he could stay in the office a little longer to ask Dumbledore some questions, but they would have to wait. He would try when Aderes had the bond closed or almost completely closed. “Goodnight, professor.”

"Goodnight, Harry. Aderes."

As soon as they were back on the steps, Aderes grabbed Harry’s hand. "Harry—"

"It's fine," he said, both of them well aware that it wasn't. "I've never been in a relationship before so I might be over exaggerating." He hoped that's all this was. It would be just his luck to fall for someone and for them to not care about him just as much. That’s how it’d been with Cho, and she was sort of popular and smart, but a regular fool when compared to Aderes. So why would someone like Aderes want to be wit him? _Stop that._ It wasn’t fair to expect Aderes to really care for him when they hadn’t even been dating for a full two months. "I mean, I barely know you."

Harry felt a flicker of pain from the bond, then nothing. "Right." 

"You don't need to get mad about it. We have all this year to get to know each other." After that there was no guarantee. Really, not much of a guarantee he’d survive this year, but Voldemort seemed to ignore him while the school year was in session, save a week or two.

"Do yourself a favor and stop talking," Aderes growled.

Harry glared at him. “I have no idea what convinced you to do,” he motioned to himself and Aderes. “All of this, but I didn’t get a say in any of it,” he said, his anger growing. “You decided everything, I think I at least deserve an explanation to some of it.”

“You had nothing against this,” Aderes snapped, his eyes widening as the words left his mouth.

“I had no idea you existed until you were in my bed,” Harry protested.

“Think what you want.” He started down the hall, Harry glaring at his back.

“Fine! I’m going to bed! If you want to talk tomorrow, I'll be waiting.”

Aderes turned to him. "Stop being so dramatic. We both know you'll never get any sleep if I'm not beside you."

They locked eyes, neither one of them wanting to back down, but Harry knew Aderes was right. If he wasn’t curled up next to the Slytherin he’d have nightmares, if he managed to sleep at all. _This is pathetic!_ Aderes walked back to him and pulled him into a hug, resting his forehead on Harry’s.

“You know I care about you, a lot.” Even if he did, it didn’t seem like the strength of their emotions matched up. “I will do anything for you. I will risk everything for you. So, for now. Just trust me.”

“I felt how…” ‘With Umbridge.’ He let the bond finish the rest.

Aderes’s eyes squinted slightly in amusement. ‘Yes, and if you didn’t notice, the rag is still alive.’

‘It scared me.’

‘As it should, but you are the most important person to me. I am not going to hurt you.’ He took Harry’s hand again, giving it a tight squeeze. 

‘But…’ He knew Aderes was telling the truth as he always seemed to be, but that didn’t make any sense. Had he just guessed Harry would be emotionally starved enough to fall for whoever took the time to give him a bit of attention and went with it? By some stroke of luck, they’d both really fallen for each other. _No, he said, this was about Dumbledore…_

“I can’t give you the answers you want right now. They would melt your brain and you only have so much to work with.” He smiled, showing Harry he was joking, and stroked some of his hair. “When I’m sure it won’t cause you any harm, I’ll explain everything.”

Aderes was dodging the issue, and once again they both knew it, but the bond was warning Harry not to press it just yet. Not until Aderes had figured the bond out properly and he seemed genuinely concerned for Harry’s mental state.

“Fine,” he sighed. He knew he shouldn’t, but he didn’t want to fight with Aderes right before bed, not really. Or at all. That and he feared if he did try and get this sorted out right now, Aderes would leave him. Or his brain might really melt.

Relief. “Good. Now let’s go to your dorm so we can get your hand healed up.”

"Okay." 

He needed more time to think, more questions answered, not to change his mind, he was well past that, but to find out exactly what he’d gotten himself into, because he had a sinking feeling that Aderes could take Umbridge prisoner and torture her for weeks and Harry would still find some way in his mind to rationalize it. _Am I that pathetic or that hopelessly in love?_ He sighed and leaned against Aderes. At this point, it didn't really matter. 

**(X)**

“There is a dark presence very close to you, one that threatens your life. If you’re not careful, it will kill you and all of those you care for!”

_Is she talking about Aderes or Voldemort? ... Probably both._ Or anyone else following Voldemort. A good deal of Ministry workers. Really, the list of people who weren't a dark presence in his life and didn't want him and his loved one’s dead was far shorter than those who did.

Trelawney glared at him as he failed to hold back a snicker. “You think this is funny, boy?!”

“Of course not.” He hoped he sounded serious. He didn’t need another detention, but Trelawney’s prediction was one huge joke, even for her. Not a single person could claim otherwise unless they were unaware of his life story. In other words, no one sitting in the classroom.

Ron brought up his book to hide, but not before Harry could see the grin on his face.

“You’ll be dead before you’re sixteen if you stay on this path!” She leaned forward, eyes wide for effect, her voice rising as she spoke, her jewelry clinking together.

Harry held his tongue between his teeth, trying his best to remain straight faced. _Thought I’d be dead long before that._

Shock. ‘… I... just put a quill through Hermione’s essay thanks to you. I hope you’re proud of yourself.’

Harry grinned. ‘I am.’

Aderes sighed. ‘And thank you so much for comparing me to Voldemort,’ he added drily.

“MR. POTTER!”

Harry jumped, his knees banging into the table. The kettle fell onto its side, drenching the tablecloth, tea leaves oozing out of his cup. The hot water spread out towards the edges of the table, quickly sweeping the leaves away. They fell to the floor with a small wet plop. “Eh…”

“GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT!”

“Right.” He stood up as Trelawney pulled out her wand and waved it at the table. Everything dried off as the water flew back into the kettle, the tea leaves into his overturned cup. _That’s not sanitary._

Trelawney took a few calming breaths and turned towards the class; a smile plastered onto her face. “Miss. Brown, why don’t we see what your future holds for the week?”

Lavender looked utterly thrilled and almost shoved Harry to the side to take the seat he’d just left. He sat down next to Ron, shaking his head.

“What was that about,” he asked in a whisper.

“I was—” he stopped. He still hadn’t exactly explained everything yet to Ron and Hermione. They knew most of it. Actually, he was pretty sure Hermione knew all of it, minus the bond situation. Ron just knew that Aderes and the shadow were the same person. “I’ll explain tomorrow.”

Ron stared at him. “Why tomorrow?”

“Because we need to go somewhere, no one can overhear us.”

“Oh.”

A quick mental test told him that Aderes was waiting for a reply. ‘I know you’re not Voldemort. But are you even aware of how dark some of your thoughts were last night?’

‘Of course, I am. She illegally made you carve letters into your hand. My words do not seem to be sinking into your brain, I will tolerate no one harming you.’

The promise of a slow and painful death followed, making Harry shudder. To think just a few days ago he’d thought Umbridge deserved anything horrible that could possibly happen to her. But he hadn’t thought Aderes was truly willing to kill her, and definitely not in the ways he was currently thinking.

‘You can’t just…’ but Aderes was already telling him he could and to drop it because he would. And worse, some deep inner part of him was kind of happy that someone was willing to go that far for him. _Maybe he does care about me as much as I do him…_ Was the darkness and anger Aderes had shown the night before directly related to his feelings for Harry?

‘Now you’re beginning to understand.’ He could feel the smile on Aderes’s lips.

That didn’t make it okay, but… he couldn’t quite fault Aderes the way he had before either. Not when he'd been thinking the same way over the summer when it came to Aderes's safety. He'd been willing to cut himself off from everyone. Okay, his friends had pretty much done that themselves first, to let everyone think Ron was going mad. He'd have done anything as long as it kept Aderes safe and happy. And no one had actually been trying to hurt him. Umbridge on the other hand seemed determined to destroy what little sanity Harry had left. 

_I don't want him hurt… Or to be taken_. He shuddered and gripped the edge of the table, his teeth clenching as a wave of irrational fear rushed over him_. Why am I so scared Aderes is going to be taken from me?_ There were the self-esteem issues, sure, but this fear wasn’t about Aderes breaking it off to go with someone else. The absolute fear was of Aderes being removed from his life as a whole. 

'Harry?'

'Huh?'

'What can Trelawney possibly be doing to induce such fear in you?'

'It's not Trelawney.'

Aderes raised a mental eyebrow. 'Why are you so scared?'

‘I don’t know.’ He tried to show Aderes exactly what he’d been thinking through the bond, but the emotions ended up as a tangled mess instead. ‘It’s not that important. Just some random thoughts.’

‘If you’re sure…’

‘Am I allowed to tell Ron and Hermione anything about all of this? About us?’

Aderes seemed to be thinking. Harry could almost see the swirling abyss in his mind’s eye. ‘We should probably talk about what is safe for them to know and what isn’t.’

‘They won’t tell anyone.’

‘I know, but I don’t trust your useless friend not to break under torture.’

‘… Why do you think my friends are going to be tortured?’

‘Harry, Voldemort wants both of us dead. Whether or not it happens, it’s something to worry about.’

Harry blinked, turning to Ron. He’d worried about his friends getting hurt before, but the idea of them actually getting tortured by Voldemort hadn’t been one of his fears. Death or maybe harmed enough to end up in St. Mungo’s, but he’d always assumed it would be during a duel or something like that, not a slow buildup of pain over long periods of time.

“Is there something on my face?”

“No,” Harry said. “Want to do our dream journals?” The alternative was listening to Trelawney go on and on about how perfect Lavender's life would be for the next week or letting his thoughts dwell on the possibility of his closest friends' tortures.

Ron shrugged and pulled his dream journal out of his bag, Harry doing the same. "I think I'll be chased by a unicorn this evening in the Forbidden Forest."

"She won't buy it unless you add that it stabbed you."

"Good point." Harry wrote the sentence and underneath that put he woke up feeling sick. His eyes fell onto his hand. Aderes had done some weird, well something, transferring some of his energy to Harry using the bond followed by a healing spell Harry didn't know. No matter how long he looked, he could no longer see the sentence Umbridge had been trying so hard to carve into him. His face grew warm as he flexed his fingers and smiled. _A dark presence wouldn't have spared me another scar. _

**(X)**

"You're sure you don't want me to walk you the rest of the way?" Aderes did not look happy, nor was he as the bond clearly told Harry. His boyfriend seemed to think the entire school needed to see him walking with Harry. A reminder to all to stay the hell away from him and a warning to anyone who ignored that reminder that Aderes would be delighted to skin them alive if his guidelines were not followed. 

"Of course, I want you with me." Be it the bond or how pathetic Harry had become in the last month and a half, he always wanted Aderes by his side. Perhaps it was both. Or, as he'd realized in Divination earlier, he was terrified of losing anyone else he cared about. Which was exactly why he had to go to his detention alone. Umbridge couldn’t suspect Aderes of being the shadow. 

Aderes snorted. "Do you actually believe that toad is capable of harming me? She can't even see me."

"I know, but Dumbledore can." 

Aderes let out a sigh. "For now, that fool is on our side."

'Not if you kill Umbridge.'

Mild surprise followed by amusement. "You're not wrong."

"I've survived up until now. This is the last one."

He nodded, running his hand through some of Harry’s hair. "I know you're capable of amazing things…" Mild fear tinted each word.

'Keep the bond open. Dumbledore said he warned Fudge, right?' Aderes nodded. ‘If he has any sense at all left, there won’t be any more hand carving.’

'You’re far too trusting. But fine.' He released Harry and took a step back, eyes narrowed. 'If any harm comes to you, that toad better hope St. Mungo’s can piece her back together.'

'I somehow doubt they could if you're the one doing the cutting.' 

Aderes tilted his head slightly, surprise once again coloring the bond. 'And you're amused by this?'

'No. Maybe. I don't want you to kill her, but… She's really making it hard to sympathize with her.' Having such little regard for someone, even if it was Umbridge, still bothered him. But if Aderes could keep his darkness under control, so could he. It wasn’t like he was telling Aderes to go kill her, rather he was merely admitting that Aderes was capable of carrying out the deed and smart enough not to get caught.

'You aren't dark.'

'Sometimes I wonder….'

'Harry, you are nothing like Voldemort, but maybe in your stubbornness.’

'That’s a good thing.'

Snickering Aderes kissed him. 'It is.' He squeezed Harry’s hand. ‘What you feel right now, it’s merely anger at the way you’ve being treated.’

Harry gave a slight nod. He was pretty sure it was more than that, but he didn’t have the time or energy to dwell on it right now. 'Okay, I need to go before I'm late and she gives me another detention.'

Once this was over with, he could enjoy his weekend. Maybe even get a chance to meet his new Quidditch teammates_. If Angelina hasn’t decided to kick me off._ They shared another kiss, and Harry forced himself to step back and head for the Defense room_. And maybe snog my boyfriend all weekend_. Which at the moment seemed far more important and desirable than any Quidditch meeting._ I really have lost my mind. _Very few things were more important to him than Quidditch.

'Okay, I'm going in.'

He stopped in front of the door, surprised that the fear he’d felt the last few days wasn’t creeping over him. Whatever happened, Aderes would be waiting for him at the steps afterwards and then he would get to spend the whole weekend snogging him because he'd already finished his homework. Smiling, he entered the room.

Umbridge was standing by her desk, her eyes darting from one side of the room to the other. When she seemed satisfied that Harry was alone, she approached him. “I have no proof Potter, but mark my words, I will see to it that you are punished for every crime you have committed in the last week.”

Great, just what he needed, two teachers out to ruin his life just because he existed. Well, whatever. Umbridge couldn’t do anything worse than she already had. He sat down at one of the front desks, waiting to see what she would make him do this time.

She dropped the black quill in front of him, Harry’s eyes widening. She smirked, no doubt relishing his reaction. “Tonight, we will do this properly, Mr. Potter. Now give me your wand.”

_What?_ “No.” He trusted Snape more with his wand than he did Umbridge. Crabbe and Goyle would probably look after his wand better than she would. Umbridge would just snap it in two and claim she’d tripped.

“Your wand, now,” she said, her eyes narrowing slightly.

“I’m not giving you my wand. You’ll break it.”

She let out one of her high-pitched girlish laughs. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You can send me to the headmaster’s office, or to any other teacher in the school. I will hand my wand over to any other teacher in Hogwarts, but I am not giving it to you.” Even Filch had never made him hand his wand over during a detention.

“You will give me your wand or—”

“Or what,” he demanded, standing up. He could feel his blood beginning to boil. He wasn’t budging on this. He didn’t care if he had to spend the rest of his school year in detention, he would not give this crazy toad his wand.

She aimed her wand at Harry and opened her mouth. Harry grabbed his wand before she could utter a spell. She glared at him. “You’re going to learn manners, Mr. Potter. If I tell you to hand over your wand, you do it!” She lurched towards him and he stepped back fast, Umbridge slamming into the desk he’d just vacated.

_She’s gone mad!_

“GIVE ME THAT WAND!”

“NO!” He continued backing away, watching her every move, knowing he couldn’t fight back, but he could dodge.

Another step back. Another.

"Diffindo!"

A large cut appeared on Harry’s wand hand, a hiss escaping his lips. More cuts appeared on his arms, then traveled up his neck and face. None of them seemed particularly deep, but the shock that a teacher was actually attacking him made them feel that much worse.

A gust of wind filled the room, all the candles flickering until they completely went out. Harry took another step back, hoping he didn’t back into a desk, Umbridge gasping in front of him. “I knew it! You can use nonverbal spells!” The room was dark and yet somehow seemed to be growing darker, a black fog pouring into the room. It grew thicker, blocking the windows and stopping any star or moonlight from the windows.

_Aderes. _

“LUMOS!” If light poured out of Umbridge’s wand, Harry couldn’t see it.

‘Aderes.’ He winced, the words hitting a mental wall.

“You want some light? I have plenty for you.” The words had barely left Aderes’s mouth when the room erupted into a giant hell blaze. Harry moved towards the door. The fire was like nothing he’d ever seen before, taking on the forms of different magical creatures before it held the form of a Dementor. The fire flew through the room, devouring everything in its path. Desks crumbled into piles of ashes, the walls shook, the floor began melting. The chalkboard exploded, pieces of it flying out in every direction. “I warned you.”

Shaking, Umbridge lifted her wand, but there was no one to point it at. Somehow Aderes was managing this while remaining invisible.

_He’s going to kill her!_ Harry wasn’t even sure where to shout before it dawned on him, he couldn’t. If he Umbridge heard Aderes’s name, his boyfriend would get in trouble. Attempted murder trouble if he kept this up.

“STOP!” He took a step towards Umbridge, fire erupting before him and forcing him back. He landed on his behind, somehow keeping his wand in his hand. The fire continued to eat at everything in the room, oddly enough, only sparing the kitten plates. _He still has some control. _Smoke began rising, Harry coughing. Climbing to his feet, he started towards the door again_. I have to do something… but what?_ This wasn’t a normal fire, and he wasn’t stupid enough to think he could take Aderes down when he couldn’t even see him. _Dumbledore._ It wasn’t the best idea. Umbridge would be dead long before he even reached the nearest staircase, let alone made it to the headmaster’s office, but what else could he do?

Harry started for the door, only the flames had already begun destroying it. He took a step back, wondering if this was it_. I should have paid more attention to Trelawney’s warning this morning._ To think his idiot professor had literally meant a dark force was going to get him killed_. Calm down._ He could see Umbridge cowering in the far-left corner of the room as it disintegrated around her. To his right were the windows. _I hate her, but I love Aderes._ He ran towards the windows, dodging some of the flames that threatened him as he rushed by.

The flames shot up in front of the window hissed at him, forcing him back. _Now what?_ He didn’t think water would put these flames out. He moved back to the door and sat down on the floor; the fire surrounding him. “Aderes. You’re going to kill both of us.” He didn’t raise his voice at the small chance that Umbridge might hear him and somehow, his voice remained steady. What did it matter anyway? If he didn’t die now, he would soon enough.

_CRACK!_

Harry frowned, pulling his legs to his chest. All the light in the room vanished, the heat drifting out of the now open window. The sudden change in temperature had him shivering. Each candle in the room flared to life, revealing the damage that had ravaged the room and Umbridge. The witch huddled in the corner, a look of terror on her face. It looked like the edges of her robes were burnt, but nothing else.

Harry let out a huge sigh. _Thank goodness. He stopped…_

Another blast of wind filled the room, causing the temperature to drop even more. Harry tried to get to his feet and get out of the room, but his body wasn’t listening. 

“I warned you,” Aderes said, his voice colder than the room. 

Umbridge’s scream filled the room.

**(TBC)**


	25. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original story has so many… Issues. It’s really hard trying to decide what to keep as far as trying to remain honest to the original. I’m also running into a lot of “wth was I thinking when I wrote this?” but I guess that’s what happens when you’re writing anything at the age of eleven or twelve. (I really can’t remember if I started this at the beginning or end of that school year.)   
Also, I ended up obtaining two fish… It was not planned. I was saving their lives. It’s been an utter nightmare trying to keep these things alive. I had NO idea how much went into maintaining a fish tank. I feel like I’m conducting chemistry experiments daily, bright and early and panicking the rest of the day, trying to correct the results. I cannot wait until this thing is officially established and all I have to do is feed them and change the water.   
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

The flames surrounding Harry parted as Aderes approached him, his hand held out. 'Let's get out of here.' 

Harry shook his head, not sure, nor caring if Aderes could tell since he was shaking so badly. He could still hear Umbridge making what sounded like choked crying sounds from somewhere further into the room, similar to the ones Dudley had made after his run in with the Dementors. 

"Harry?" 

"... Just go."

"I'm not leaving you here," he said, sounding amused. He knelt next to Harry, softly touching his arms, hands, and face. His hands would stop at every cut Umbridge had caused, his eyes lingering a moment before traveling to the next. "That bitch," he hissed.

"I'm fine," he muttered, wanting Aderes to leave him alone, sort of. It terrified him that Aderes had done this. The Defense room was practically gone and Umbridge was a quivering mess. One wrong move and Harry wouldn't still be sitting on the floor, clutching his knees, or breathing. And yet, somewhere deep inside him, a tiny sliver of him was okay with this, and that scared him even more than what Aderes had just done.

"Harry, you need to go to the infirmary."

"Later."

"Later you'll have bled out," he snapped. 

Without warning, Harry felt himself lifted into the air, his heart going crazy. It took him a second to realize Aderes had picked him up. "P, put me down!" 

"No." The door to the Defense room flew forward, slamming into the wall outside with a loud crash. Umbridge screamed again, and Harry found himself burying his face into Aderes's robes. "You're okay and if it's any consolation, physically that thing is not harmed." The distaste in his voice was clear.

'G, good.' A hiss escaped his lips, the cold air around him hitting his cuts. Within seconds, without the flames, Harry could feel his body temperature dropping. How could the hallway be so cold? 

**(X)**

"You've completely lost your mind! There's no other explanation!"

"Mm…"

"I had it under control." Aderes’s hand covered Harry’s.

"You destroyed the Defense classroom," Dumbledore shouted.

Aderes snorted. "Have you seen it lately? I did you and the room a favor."

"You melted her shoes off her feet! Not to mention you destroyed her wand!"

Snickering.

"WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF SHE'D DIED!?"

"Thrown a party."

"This isn't funny!"

"Perhaps the curse on the teaching position compels me to act out more towards Defense…" he sighed dramatically. "Even in jest I cannot consider that toe rag a professor."

"And what would you have done if you'd harmed Harry?!"

Aderes’s grip tightened. "I wouldn't have." His voice had lost all its humor. "And if you didn’t notice, the bloodstains on my robes from Harry, are because of her! She's lucky I didn't return the favor!"

"You don't—"

"I would never risk Harry’s safety. I had the flames direct him to a safe location."

"You are impossible! You'll be serving detention with me for the next few weeks for this!"

"You are mistaken if you think I care. Keep that toad under control and away from Harry. If she tries harming him again, I'll be melting more than her shoes and her wand."

"You can't threaten people like this!"

"Who's going to stop me? You? You couldn't even get the door open," Aderes laughed.

"Because I feared for Harry’s safety! Fyre Fiend is unpredictable at best—"

"I had it under control."

"I should have you expelled."

Harry’s eyes shot open. He could just make out the enraged look on Dumbledore’s face and Aderes’s back directly in front of him.

"What good would that do? It's not like you could remove me from the school."

Silence. 

"Your detention will start after breakfast. Keep this up, I'll take you to Azkaban myself."

"And risk Harry’s sanity? His safety? Don't bother with idle threats."

Harry was sure Dumbledore was going to explode. He tightened his hands into fists, his face visibly turning purple before he stormed out of the infirmary.

"He needs a calming draught," Aderes chuckled, turning to Harry. He brought his hand to Harry's face, stroking it gently. "You passed out on me on the way here, probably from blood loss. Madam Pomfrey had to give you a potion to restore it." He pulled his legs onto the bed. "How do you feel?"

_Huh…?_ Had he really lost that much blood? He knew Umbridge had sliced into him quite a few times, but they hadn’t seemed so bad. "I'm okay…." Wasn't he? His body seemed sore, but nothing like it had when Aderes had picked him up. He moved closer to Aderes until his body was directly against his boyfriend's. "I'm still kind of cold…."

Snickering, he wrapped an arm around Harry. 

_I can't keep doing this. Someone's going to die. _

"I promise, you're safe here and I will never leave you alone with that thing again."

"Aderes…" It was all he could get out before he started to cry. I've already lost too much. _I've given up so much._ He couldn’t just let Aderes go. He refused to let him go, but his boyfriend couldn't stay on this path. Aderes seemed obsessed with keeping him safe, and it was going to get him thrown into Azkaban. 

**(X)**

Harry blinked awake to see a stream of light pouring into his room from the window across from his bed. No one else seemed to be in the dorm, and he wondered where Ron could possibly be. The thought didn't stay with him long though as his gaze shifted back to the light. It was so calming, and he could feel himself relaxing. And with Aderes behind him, holding him against his chest, the rest of the world no longer mattered. 

At least until everything that'd happened the night before came rushing back. He sat up in bed, Aderes glaring up at him at the sudden moment. Someone had dressed him in his pajamas. He pulled the sleeves up and examined his arms and hands. There were no cuts on them.

"What are you doing," Aderes asked, clearly annoyed.

"I… I was… Weren't we at the infirmary?" 

"Huh?" Aderes sat up. "What are you talking about?"

"My detention with Umbridge, you!" He turned to look at Aderes. "You tried to kill her!"

Aderes made a face. "Your last detention had Snape supervising. He made you scrub the Defense room's floor with a regular Muggle brush. Are you okay?" 

_No._ That wasn't what happened. He climbed out of bed fast, falling right back onto it as his world began to spin. 

"Harry!" 

"You're lying," he whispered, closing his eyes.

"I am," he admitted. "But that's the memory I put into Umbridge's head."

Harry opened his eyes, gaping at his boyfriend. "What?!"

"It was my first act of detention handed out by Dumbledore. I had to erase all traces of the trauma I caused," he sighed. "What a waste." He ran his hand through Harry’s hair. "I left just enough of unconscious uncertainty, so she'll think twice about hurting you ever again."

So that was it? Aderes just wiped Umbridge's memory, replaced it with a new one, and all traces of his attempt at murder were gone. The only ones who knew were Aderes, Dumbledore, and himself. He was safe? How was Aderes supposed to learn not to be a murderous arsehole if he could get away with every bad thing he did?

_Still…. _

"You can't just erase things from people's minds and expect it to be okay!"

"It's not like I hurt anyone. I merely scared her. And even if I had, it was just that thing." It was obvious he didn't care at all.

"That doesn't make it okay to just rewrite people's memories for your own convenience!" His eyes widened. "How many times have you altered my memory?"

A dark look crossed Aderes's face. "Once and with your permission."

"What did you erase?"

"...." He sighed when he realized Harry wasn't going to let it drop. "You were convinced you'd murdered someone, but you didn't."

"Who did I think I hurt?"

"Me."

Harry blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that. "I can't hurt you."

"You can, but you wouldn't. You mistook a Boggart's transformation as real. That you'd killed me. So, when the Boggart transformed into your biggest fear, I was dead, and you were standing over my body." 

"You can't just…. Ugh." He brought his hand up to his eyes. "Any other memory alterations you've done to me?"

"No."

"Prove it."

Sighing, Aderes opened the bond. He could feel that his boyfriend was still hiding something, but it wasn’t about him messing with his memories.

"I really hate you sometimes," Harry groaned.

Surprise and slight hurt. "Why?"

"Because no matter what you seem to do. Burn people, destroy things, wipe a memory clear from my brain. You threw my best friend into a wall; you keep hiding things from me. You smuggled yourself into the Dursley’s house. You are an absolute arsehole," he said, flipping over onto his stomach. "You show me just how heartless I'm capable of being and it scares me."

"W, wait—" He looked terrified, fear pulsating in rhythm with his frantically beating heart.

"And I still can't get myself to tell you off or dump you, because I'm completely in love with you. Whether it's this bond or you screwing with my memories, I cannot get myself to care because I am so in love with you, I rationalize every bloody horrible and questionable thing you do." He leaned forward, kissing Aderes. 

The fear and shock melted into relief. Aderes's arms wrapping around Harry tightly. 'I love you too.' 

Harry’s face flushed. He'd finally gotten Aderes to say it back. "Good." Because admitting his feelings outright not only put him further at Aderes’s mercy, it also made him admit he wasn't any better than the dark witches and wizards he was trying to stop, and that wasn't easy for him to accept. 

"You aren't dark."

"I should have broken it off with you the first time you hurt Ron. Or after I saw the horrible things, you're willing to do. You could have killed Umbridge last night, hell I thought I was going to die last night, and I still can't bring myself to be mad about any of it. I'm only mad at myself for being so heartless… Okay, I'm a little annoyed you could have roasted me in the fire."

"The fact that you're in such a panic about all of this just proves you do care. You just don't want to acknowledge it because you don’t quite understand how you could not want the toe rag responsible for your torture to be harmed. If you'd rather I put her memories back—"

"No," Harry screamed, grabbing Aderes's pajama shirt. He dropped his gaze when Aderes tilted his head in question. The irrational fear of losing Aderes swept over him again, worse than ever. If Aderes ended up in Azkaban, he wouldn’t come out alive. His lack of remorse and feelings of justification for all the horrible things he’d been doing would keep the Dementors away, but it wouldn’t stop the other prisoners from harming him. 

"Harry, I'm not going anywhere. Even if she remembered everything, there's nothing she, nor anyone else, could do to take me from you."

"Any time I think you're leaving, it feels like you're never coming back." It was stupid. Beyond Dumbledore or the Ministry dragging Aderes off in chains, there was no reason for him to feel like his boyfriend was going to just disappear. He frowned, looking at Aderes. Had the lost of his parents and now Mrs. Weasley instilled an underlying fear that anyone he loved was going to be taken away?

"And yet here I am. Even when you purposely try to get rid of me, I always come back to you."

Harry nodded, his fingers easing up on Aderes’s clothes. The fear ebbed slightly, but not enough for him to truly relax.

"Let's just spend the rest of the morning together."

"... I really need to finish my letter to Sirius and send it to him." Though what exactly he was going to tell Sirius he didn't know. He wanted to tell his godfather everything but didn't think he'd be too pleased with Aderes and his complete lack of morals. Or his attitude. Or… He stared at Aderes. _Well, he is hot, and he's really smart. And protective._ Somehow, he didn't think those traits would outweigh all the bad ones for Sirius.

It should be the same for him, really.

"So, destroying a classroom and setting that toad on fire makes you uneasy, but the thought of your godfather's disapproval makes you consider leaving me?" He snorted. "You are definitely confused."

"I would not leave you," he muttered.

"Harry, you can no more lie to me than I can you." He let out a sigh, surprise coming from the bond when Harry placed his head on Aderes’s chest and laced his fingers between the Slytherin's own. 

"Even if I think something it doesn't mean I'll act on it. Unlike you, I have self-control."

"Do you now? Is that why you're still wearing the necklace?" Amusement.

"Jerk," Harry sighed. 

"What do you want to do today?"

"Besides finish my letter and think of some way to convince Dumbledore not to send you to Azkaban, even though you deserve it?"

Aderes snickered.

"It's not funny. I bring out a really dark side in you and that scares me too. I don't want you going anywhere, and I don't want to be the reason you go anywhere."

"I make my own choices for my own reasons. If you think you actually have any impact on them, you're thinking far too highly of yourself.

Harry blinked a few times, sitting up and pulling his hand away from Aderes’s. "Excuse me? If I hadn't screamed and brought you back to your senses, you wouldn't have stopped at the body binding!"

"Harry, I'm going to do whatever I want, regardless of your input. So whatever guilt you're feeling, it is not warranted."

"You are such an arsehole!" He grabbed his pillow and hit Aderes in the face with it before climbing off the bed. "Keep talking like that and I'll have no problem breaking up with you." He walked over to his trunk and started going through it.

Aderes appeared, his upper half hanging over the edge of the bed. "Anyone else would be dead for such an infraction, in case you were planning something even remotely worse," he growled.

Harry looked up at his boyfriend. "Go for it. My days have been numbered since I was born."

Aderes narrowed his eyes, then realized Harry was being literal in the sense that any living thing starts a countdown to death once born. Groaning, he dropped his head onto the bed. "I take it back, you're as dark as I am."

Harry smirked before going back to his task of locating his half-written letter to Sirius. "I told Ron I'd start explaining your situation today." 

Hesitation. "I don't mind you telling them about the bond. But leave details about the necklace to a minimum for now."

"Really?" He'd been sure it’d be the other way around.

"...You fear me being taken away." He slid his hand into Harry’s shirt and grabbed the pendant. "I am temporarily bound to this necklace. Should it be destroyed, I'll die."

Harry stopped what he was doing, his eyes glued to his boyfriend. "Wh, what!?"

"Or parts of me will, and truthfully, I have no idea what parts are still lingering in there." He removed his hand, Harry’s look of shock transforming into one of horror.

"Why did you trust me with this!? I'm the least safest option in Hogwarts! You should be wearing it! Or Dumbledore!" 

"I believe the least safest option would be Neville or that useless redhead."

"I mean it!"

"So do I. Think of this as proof of my trust in you."

"It's not about trust! It's about the target I have on my back! And…!" All the damage he'd done to the necklace at number twelve rushed through his mind, his stomach clenching. "I really could have killed you..."

"It would take a lot more than what you did to destroy whatever parts of my soul are left in there." 

"I really shouldn't have this." He touched the pendant, frowning. There was no way he could keep it safe. He moved to take it off.

"Don't," Aderes warned, placing his hand on top of Harry’s. 

"But—"

"You're the only one I trust to keep it."

"Dumbledore—"

"No." Harry looked at the pendant again and their hands covering it. "We will keep it safe together, but I want you to have it."

He took every thought about Aderes being a genius back. There was no way Aderes had even a fraction of the intelligence he seemed to have. Not if his idea of keeping something safe was to give it to Harry. Dumbledore was by far the safest option. 

"If you give that necklace to that old man permanently, ever, I will not forgive you," he hissed at him. "At least wait until after my soul is whole again."

"How long will that take?"

"Given the rate of healing, if we continue to keep the bond open, another month at most." 

A month!? He had to protect a pendant holding pieces of his boyfriend's soul for an entire month?! What kind of relationship had he gotten himself into? "You're joking."

"You know I'm not."

"How did you get pieces of your soul stuck inside this necklace in the first place?" 

"It's a bit of a long story, but to keep it brief. I was working with someone on ways to prevent or at least stall death. I succeeded, but not quite the way I had intended." His smile held no warmth or joy in. "It was my own fault, but it served its purpose." 

"This thing can keep you from dying?" 

"In a sense. It doesn't make you Immortal. Rather, it's like freezing something." 

"...You froze your soul in a magically altered necklace you created and mailed it to my house!?" This story just kept getting better and better. No wonder Aderes liked him, he was utterly mad! "No wonder Dumbledore fears what you'll do next, it could be anything!" And not just a small list of random things, quite literally, anything.

"If it wasn't for that necklace we never would have met, or rather, we never would have been able to be together."

Scowling, Harry grabbed a fresh piece of parchment, his quill, and ink. "Now I have to start my letter over again."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to have to edit your whole life's story or Sirius is going to think I'm as mad as you are!"

"I thought you didn't want to lie to Sirius."

"I'm not. I'm just leaving everything out." 

"That's going to be one rather short letter," he chuckled.

"And whose fault is that!?"

"Maybe this will help." He disappeared for a second to the other side of the bed and when he reappeared, he was holding a copy of the Daily Prophet in his hand. He dropped it in front of Harry. "Second page."

He didn't see how the Daily Prophet would help him with his letter to Sirius, but he opened the paper to page two. "Headmaster enraged at torture tactics used by ministry official working at Hogwarts," he read aloud. He read it again to make sure he was reading it right. His eyes fell onto the picture of his hand. It clearly showed the sentence Umbridge was attempting to have engraved into it and that it was bleeding. 

_Sirius knows about the blood inking._ It was unlikely anyone besides the people directly involved knew that this was Harry’s hand, but at the least he didn’t have to explain to Sirius what was going on. He’d just have to gently let him know that he was the one enduring the torture.

Movement to the right caught his attention. _Sirius?_ He noticed the infamous arrest photo of his godfather on page three. "The Ministry of Magic has received a tip-off from a reliable source that Sirius Black, notorious mass murderer… is currently hiding in London," Harry read aloud. His stomach clenching as he read on. "Do you think someone spotted him?" Had Sirius left number twelve without drinking Polyjuice potion or had he run out and turned back before he could hide? 

"Calm down," Aderes said, sliding off the bed and sitting down on the floor next to him. "The Daily Prophet has been printing lies for months. Does it say where he was seen and was it close to the area?"

He read through more of the article. Surely Lupin or Dumbledore, someone would have told him if something had happened to his godfather. "I'm not…" Harry could feel his heart speed up. Nothing else mattered right now. Without reading the rest of the article, he started going through his trunk, pulling out clothes.

"Harry, calm down. I'm sure he's fine—"

"You don't know that!" 

"Dumbledore will know. Instead of panicking, let's just go ask him." Harry nodded. "Get changed. I'll meet you in front of the Great Hall." 

"Okay." 

"I promise you, he's fine." He kissed Harry gently and left.

**(X)**

Growling, Aderes threw the Daily Prophet across the room. The pages scattered, some landing on the floor directly next to his bed, others flying and landing on Draco.

The younger Slytherin's eyes opened, and he frowned. "What's wrong now?" He yawned.

"I didn't notice someone had written an article about Sirius Black on the opposite page of Dumbledore’s reveal about the blood inking." He stomped towards his truck and flung it open. "Harry’s in a panic that something has happened to him."

"What does the article say?" He sat up, running his hand through his hair. When Aderes didn't answer he began searching through the pages on his bed. 

"Just that some reliable source saw him in London." He looked at the outfit he'd set out days before and sighed. If he went upstairs looking like he was ready for a date, Harry would get even angrier. He didn't have the luxury of time to get a new one together either, but_… I look good in anything._ He dropped the outfit onto the floor, instead grabbing a regular set of casual black robes. 

Draco’s laughter had him directing a glare at his friend. His fellow Slytherin had better hope he'd lost his mind, or he was going to rip it from Draco’s decapitated body and force him to watch Umbridge eat it.

"Did you even read this?"

"Part of it." He pulled his pajama top off and chucked it onto his bed. Harry had gone into a mild state of panic and any common sense he'd had had vanished. Ask Dumbledore? That was the last person he wanted Harry to speak with today. 

"It says Sirius Black was seen speaking with known werewolves." 

Aderes stopped. ".... does it give the werewolves names?"

"What are the chances—"

"Did you forget Sirius is sleeping with Remus Lupin," Aderes snapped.

Draco swallowed, looking embarrassed. "Oh… well… The article says he was with Greyback and Westcomb."

Aderes nodded, wishing he’d read the whole thing before leaving Harry’s dorm. "Neither would get near Sirius unless it was for a fight to the death."

"Exactly." Draco dropped the piece of paper onto the floor. "If you’d read the entire article, you would have been able to calm Potter down. That's not like you to skim through something that might be important."

"Harry's confused and angry with me about Umbridge," he said, pulling the black robe on. 

"You knew he would be." 

"I wasn't about to let that thing add another scar! Everyone is lucky I didn't kill her last night!" He kicked his pajama pants off and took out a clean pair of slacks. 

"Potter would never forgive you."

“I'm well aware,” he hissed. “Regardless of that, he panicked, and so I panicked.”

Draco rolled his eyes and lied back down. "You don't need me, right?"

"What could you possibly do? I have to let Harry talk to that cursed old man and make sure he doesn't convince Harry to break up with me." He moved to the full-sized mirror, examined himself, and reminded himself yet again there was no time. If Dumbledore got Harry alone, it would take months to get Harry to trust him again.

"Just making sure."

Scowling, Aderes grabbed his wand and left the room.

**(X)**

Harry looked at his watch, frowning. 'Where are you?' It wasn't like Aderes to be late… or was it? He had no idea if Aderes was normally punctual or not_. I don't even know what his favorite color is._ The thought hurt, but he could worry about having fallen in love, or he was pretty sure he was in love, without even knowing the guy's favorite color _after_ he found out that Sirius was okay.

'I'm coming, but Draco read to the end of the article. There's no way Sirius would be seen with Greyback or Westcomb unless he was seen murdering them.'

'Sirius wouldn't—"

'I know in your head he's perfect, almost a saint.' He came out from the door that led to the dungeons. 'But Greyback is the one who turned Remus. Anyone sided with Greyback is automatically an enemy to Sirius.' He stopped in front of Harry. 'We can still ask, though.' 

Would Sirius actually…? He'd begged Sirius and Lupin not to kill Pettigrew, that he, nor his father, would want to see his friends become murderers, and they’d listened. But…

'We're at war, Harry. Sometimes you don't have a choice in taking a life and sometimes you do it anyway, even when you have choices, to ensure the safety of those you love. You don't think we're going to just slap Voldemort on the hand, do you?'

"Of course not," he said, walking past his boyfriend and towards Dumbledore's office. 

"Just making sure. You are quite naïve at times.”

Harry rolled his eyes. "You know, since I've met you, I've been in the headmaster’s office and infirmary more than I ever have, and it's still the first week of school."

Aderes opened his mouth to protest, thought about it, and began laughing, “so you have.”

"It's not funny."

"I've only been responsible for a few of those visits. The rest were in direct response to that toad." 

"That doesn't make it funny."

"What exactly do you want me to do about it?"

"Maybe promise it won't happen anymore?"

"What point would there be in my lying?"

Harry sighed. "I don't know."

"Would you like me to lie?"

"No. You do plenty without me asking you to.”

Aderes stopped in front of the gargoyle and gave the password. Together they started up the steps. Aderes knocked once, tried the door handle, and glared at it. "He never locks this door." 

"Maybe we should wait?"

Scowling Aderes waved his hand over the door. A small click followed the door opening. "If he wanted privacy, he wouldn't be doing it at Hogwarts." He stepped into the room. "Fawkes!" He sounded absolutely delighted, the bond mimicking the feelings. 

"One day he's going to set you on fire," Dumbledore’s voice said.

"If he hasn't rejected me yet, he won't now." 

Harry poked his head into the office. Dumbledore was reclining in his chair, and despite all the anger he'd shown the night before, he looked genuinely amused as he watched Aderes and the phoenix bond. Fawkes had jumped onto Aderes's arm, fully grown, the Slytherin stroking his neck. The sounds coming from Fawkes were definitely ones of content.

"Eh…." Harry stepped into the office. For some reason, he felt like he was intruding. Dumbledore looked to him, Aderes oblivious. "I'm sorry for bothering you so early, but…"

"Early," Dumbledore laughed. "Harry, it is past noon." 

"It is?" It surprised him, even though it shouldn’t have. According to Aderes, he'd lost a lot of blood and he'd been in the infirmary for some duration. "We saw the article in the Daily Prophet about Sirius," he said, moving towards the headmaster. "It's not true, right?"

"Of course not," Dumbledore said. "I imagine if Sirius was ever within cursing distance of Greyback, the werewolf would have been torn apart and his blood used to paint the nearby buildings." 

Harry nodded slightly. It was the same thing Aderes had said. _I really need to talk with him._

**(X)**

Harry leaned against the tree he was sitting under next to the Great Lake, quill in hand, parchment on a book propped on his knees. Aderes had drifted off next to him, no doubt exhausted from all the spell work he'd been doing lately.

He tapped the parchment lightly as he tried to piece his thoughts together. Would Sirius get mad if he asked him straight out? Not that he could actually write the question out in case someone read his mail.

I have so many questions right now, and none of them seem appropriate to ask on paper. I managed to find a boyfriend. Well, he found me, and I don't know what to do. I hope you’re doing well.

It would be another three months before he saw Sirius in person again and could talk to him about any of the things he desperately wanted answers to. Sighing, he shoved the finished letter into his bag and absently began playing with Aderes’s hair. 

Would he be willing to kill someone to protect someone else? Or out of revenge? He knew he had to kill Voldemort, everyone told him there was no other choice, but wasn't there? Why weren't they trying to get Voldemort sent to Azkaban and handed over to a pair of Dementors? Why was it okay to kill Voldemort and no one else? It couldn't be because he'd killed so many people, plenty of Death Eaters had, but he'd never wanted to kill any of them, even when they were chasing after him. Is it just me? Was it his own moral compass telling him that everyone else was off limits? 

He looked down at Aderes. Would he really have stuck with his initial thoughts over the summer on killing anyone who tried to harm the pendant?

_Even though I'm the idiot who harmed it the most._ He would have never forgiven himself either if he had destroyed it. And now that he knew his boyfriend had lost his mind and left pieces of his soul in it? He would have gone mad with guilt if he had. Could he even live with killing anyone? _Most fifteen-year-old don't have to have this moral dilemma. _

"You look sick." Draco dropped down beside him and removed his bag.

"Have you ever killed anyone?"

Draco stared at him, his face turning red, "no!"

"Aderes… hurt someone last night. He claims all he did was scare her, but I saw the images. He burned her, badly." 

Draco shrugged, looking towards the lake.

"He pointed out Sirius would kill Greyback given the chance, but… there's a big difference in deciding to kill someone because they destroyed someone you love's life and me failing to endure some torture." 

"Failing," Draco asked, turning back to him and snickering. "How do you fail torture?"

"It wasn't the physical harm that broke me, but mentally… I was fine in the classroom, but after I left, I broke down in tears." Why was he talking to Draco so openly? There was no telling how the Slytherin might use this information against him.

"That's the point of torture though, and Umbridge has had plenty of time to perfect it."

"I didn't think about that."

"She's hated at the Ministry, a pure blood sympathizer without the guts to admit she agrees with the dark lord. A complete coward, but very smart."

"Would you do it?"

"Maybe, if I had no other choice." 

"Aderes is going to get himself sent to Azkaban."

"That's the scary part, Potter. He won't end up there. He could murder the entire school and get away with it if he wanted, and worse, he knows that."

"Aderes isn't a god," Harry protested. His arrogance might be in level with one, but that was it.

"No, he's not," Draco agreed. "But that doesn't make him any less dangerous or what I said any less true." 

**(TBC)**


	26. Evaluating the Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, another chapter. I fell so far behind because of everything going on. Sorry, everyone.  
Warnings: It’s shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, etc. Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle. Sirius/Remus, Remus/Sirius   
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

_Some Saturday this is turning out to be._ He'd overslept, had a panic attack thanks to the Daily Prophet, Madam Pomfrey had warned him not to step foot onto the Quidditch pitch, thus forcing him to miss his first practice, or she'd give him detention, and now he was being warned, by Draco Malfoy of all people, that his boyfriend was dangerous and should never be taken lightly. Yep, he was doing great. Just great. _No wonder I can't think of anything to write to Sirius about._ Even if he wanted to tell his godfather half the crap that was going on, but couldn't in case some stupid Death Eater decided to read his mail, how did you even begin explaining any of this? Even if he left out the really bad parts, the chances of Sirius approving of his relationship with Aderes was slim. He wasn't sure he approved, and it was his relationship. 

"What are you doing, anyway?"

"Besides trying to figure out how my life spiraled out of control so fast?" Harry looked up from his sixth piece of parchment, the others crumpled up and discarded around him. "Trying to figure out how to explain any of this to Sirius." He was somewhat surprised that they'd only been talking a few days and yet he didn't feel the need to censor himself. _Probably because he knows about Aderes._ Draco and he were both in on one secret or twenty, so it was only natural to think they should share the two hundred other secrets they were both privy to, be it about Aderes, the underground war going on, or that Sirius Black was not the monster the Ministry of Magic claimed he was.

Draco snorted. "Good luck with that."

"No kidding." Sighing, he set his quill and parchment down in the grass. "I don't even know where to start after 'I have a boyfriend.' And honestly, I'm not even sure if that's safe to write." That one sentence alone could paint a target on Aderes, and he'd never forgive himself for getting his boyfriend attacked, or worse, considering his soul wasn't even completely together. He didn't want to even think what a direct attack on someone's soul might do.

"Maybe just tell him things are weird and you'll explain later?"

"Maybe." He wasn't sure if Sirius had the patience to wait until the winter holiday to have everything explained to him, and Harry really didn't think he had the patience to wait that long to tell him. There was too much going on that he had no experience with and wanted answers by someone who had a more worldly knowledge. _Maybe I should be writing to Lupin?_

'And if your godfather never approves?'

Harry jumped at the sudden mental intrusion. 'I don't know.' 

'Wrong answer.' Aderes was up on his knees before the movement even registered in Harry’s mind, kissing him. 

'Pretty good reward for giving the wrong answer.' He threw his arms around Aderes’ neck, pulling him down with him into the grass. 

'Someone is learning manipulation quite fast.'

'With you as a teacher, who wouldn't?'

Aderes could kiss him all he wanted, though. He really didn't have an answer yet. Part of him hoped his godfather would look past all the issues Aderes had caused, and that he'd accept him because Harry wanted to stay with his boyfriend. Deep down he had a feeling even if Sirius threatened to disown him, he would still stay with Aderes. The bottom line seemed to be. He couldn’t choose between the two, and he hoped he would never have to. 

Snickering, Aderes deepened the kiss.

"You're not alone right now," Draco muttered. 

Aderes lifted his head, his annoyance clear. "So, go find someone else to talk to."

"Aderes!" Harry glared at him. 

Sighing, he climbed off Harry. 

"Don’t you have Quidditch practice, Potter?"

“Can’t go,” Harry said, sighing. “Madam Pomfrey told me I had to skip today.” One more thing he had to miss out on thanks to Umbridge. 

“Oh. That sucks.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Aderes said.

“Yeah.” Harry wasn’t entirely mad because he feared what Aderes might do if he left him alone for more than two minutes and after that kiss, the Golden Snitch could floating in front of his face right now, frozen in time, and he probably wouldn’t notice it.

'Good.' 

The pride and triumph radiating from Aderes at having Harry choose him over Quidditch was more than a little worrying. He had a feeling he'd be sneaking around a lot if he wanted to make it to any of his practices or games. "Can we skip today?”

"Hmm?" Aderes looked at him curiously. 

He brought his hand up to the pendant. "I'm not ready to explain any of this. They deserve to know, but…" The fewer people who knew, the safer Aderes was. "I want to wait until you're whole again."

Surprise. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"... Because really, Hermione already knows and Draco knew before her."

Harry studied his boyfriend. Aderes didn't miss his chance. He moved closer and dropped his head onto Harry’s shoulder. "So, what's the safest thing for Ron to know?" He couldn't just leave Ron out if Draco and Hermione already knew. Ron would never forgive him.

"My name?"

"Arse."

"No, Aderes."

"Is there a difference?"

"That depends if you want to sleep tonight."

Harry rolled his eyes. Seriously, what kind of relationship had he gotten himself into? 

"Are you two fighting?" Hermione sat down next to them, looking at each of them in turn.

“Debating how much not to tell that thing.” Aderes' hand found Harry’s, and he laced their fingers together.

"I'm not a thing," Ron shouted. He dropped onto his bottom, looking thoroughly exhausted, dirt on his face and in his hair, and a broom in his hand. 

"I'm never wrong, especially when it comes to classifying creatures." 

Harry looked his friend over. It wasn't just dirt. He could see bruises forming on Ron's arm and the amount of sweat you only managed when you'd overexerted yourself covering his robes. Add that to the broom he was holding… "Are you on the Quidditch team?"

Ron's face went red, and he nodded. "I didn't want anyone to know until the tryouts… Fred and George and all. We had a party last night, and I was going to tell you then, but you never showed up." 

And he'd been in the infirmary until ten that morning according to his boyfriend's memories, giving Ron no chance at all to explain. Ron should have known Harry wouldn't tell his brothers, though. Guess both of us don't trust each other as much as I thought. Well, he had something safe to write to Sirius about now. "Sorry Ron, last night wasn't exactly…."

"What happened anyway," Ron asked. 

He knew he'd have to explain sooner or later, but he hadn’t had the energy to come up with a 'proper' explanation yet, not to mention he'd been, and still was, trying to digest and somehow rationalize everything Aderes had done the night before. And Aderes’s explanation was too far-fetched. "I....eh, I got—"

"Umbridge attacked Harry, and he was bleeding to death. So, I set Umbridge on fire so I could take him to the infirmary." 

Harry’s heart stopped for a full minute. 'Why did you tell them!?'

Hermione gasped, the look of shock on her face didn't come close to what Harry felt. Aderes had said it so matter of fact, Harry wanted to strangle him. Couldn't he at least pretend to have some remorse for what he'd done?

Aderes’s eyes widened before he started laughing. "What good would fake remorse do!?"

"It would help convince others that you regret whatever horrible thing you just finished doing," he screamed, his face burning. 'It could possibly keep you out of Azkaban!'

"You really are perfect for me." Aderes lifted the hand he had interlaced their fingers together and kissed it. 'Fake remorse wouldn't work. The Ministry would use truth serum to make sure I wasn't lying.'

"That doesn't make me feel better!" Aderes needed to stop telling everyone his secrets! At the rate he was going, he'd be dead before Halloween, or locked up.

'I told them because you would have withdrawn from everyone and gotten depressed trying to decide whether or not to tell them.'

'It doesn't matter! The fewer people who know about any of this, the better.' Why was all of this so difficult for Aderes to understand? Harry was just trying to keep him safe. A few white lies would go a long way in keeping peace. 

'I'm not going to let you be miserable for such a small secret.'

'Small!? You almost killed a teacher!' There was only one explanation. Aderes was trying to get away from Harry for good. He didn't know why, maybe Aderes wasn't even consciously aware of what he was doing, but what other possible result could he be hoping for? 

Aderes mentally rolled his eyes. 'I am not trying to leave you.'

Ron stared at them, his eyes wide, mouth hanging open. "You're joking."

"He's not," Draco said. It seemed Draco didn’t care much more than Aderes did.

"Is… Is she still alive," Hermione asked. 

"Sadly," Aderes sighed. 

"Not sadly! Dumbledore said he'd take you to Azkaban personally!"

Aderes snickered at that. "I'd love to see him try." 

"See what I've been having to deal with?!"

Maybe between Hermione and Draco they could help him talk some sense into his boyfriend. Or something, because so far, he’d failed.

"I wouldn't say that's _all_ you've had to deal with."

Harry groaned. No, it wasn't, but there were some things he had no intention of sharing even with his best friends. He didn't think they'd understand his internal battle right now. No one was dead, but you shouldn't attack people to begin with. Aderes could swear all he wanted that he'd only attack Umbridge in order to save him, but they both knew that wasn't the only reason. Saving Harry had just been an incredibly convenient excuse for Aderes to justify his actions. There had to be some reason Dumbledore had only given Aderes a slap on the hand with a week's detention versus dragging him off straight to Azkaban, though. Anyone else would be in prison already. Meaning Dumbledore believed Aderes was capable of controlling himself enough not to kill anyone. At least he hoped so.

"Well… I suppose as long as no one is dead," Hermione said, a minute later. She didn't seem entirely convinced, but she didn't look too torn over it either. 

Harry gaped at her. "Hermione, he attacked a _teacher_—"

"No, he didn't," she snapped. "That woman is not a teacher. She's nothing more than a spy for Fudge, and she's not even a decent person."

_Aderes has completely warped her!_

'I did not!' He glared at Harry, hints of red forming on his cheeks to match the small amounts of anger and denial coming from the bond.

"Speaking of… the four of us have been talking and… we think something needs to be done about Defense," Hermione said.

Harry didn't know where to start with processing that sentence. It annoyed him that his group of friends were talking when he wasn’t around, despite knowing how stupid that was. Aderes didn't just sit in his room moping the second he wasn't next to him, though for some reason he'd been under the impression his boyfriend only spoke to Draco when he wasn’t around. And it concerned him that Aderes seemed to be turning everyone into a dark wizard, while somehow making Draco less evil. Or were they simply more accepting of Draco now because the three of them had fallen a few rungs down the good side's ladder? Regardless of the reasoning, none of it was good. 

'Harry, none of your friends are on their way to becoming Death Eaters, nor is their sudden shift in views completely my fault. They’re beginning to see the world has shades of gray, something you have yet to learn.'

'No. Hurting people is never right.'

'So, you hope all the Death Eaters and Voldemort will be carried off to Azkaban, where some have already escaped before, to live out the rest of their lives?'

'No. ... well….' Who was he to judge whether or not someone got to live? "I don't know," he muttered. "I try not to think about it."

"About what," Ron asked. 

He realized everyone was staring at him with mixes of concern and confusion. Aderes looked amused. _Right, they can't understand us._

"Well, we can't ignore it, and neither should you," Hermione said. "We really think it'd be best if we started a Defense club."

Harry blinked. _A Defense Club?_ He needed to start paying attention more. He'd been certain that they were talking about killing Umbridge, not forming a Defense club. "Umbridge would never allow it." She'd probably put them in detention for the rest of the year just for mentioning it. His gaze went to his hand. The words were barely legible now, but it still sent a shiver down his spine. A year of having sentences etched into his hand was not appealing.

"Yes, well, I didn’t think we would make it er, official.”

Harry stared at her. "_You're_ asking us to break the rules? _You_."

Hermione's face went red. "Yes, _me_. It's not fair that we're all going to fail our O.W.L.S. because Fudge has lost his mind. And… we're at war, Harry. People could die if they don't learn proper defense now." 

Ah, now that made sense. If there was one thing to get Hermione to break the rules, it was so she could pass a test. 

'Not even Dumbledore is the saint you think he is.'

The name Grindelwald flashed through the bond before Aderes buried it deep within his mind. Before he could try to see what Aderes was thinking, Hermione waved her hand in front of his face.

"Harry?"

"Y, yeah. Fine. It shouldn't be too hard for us to find somewhere to practice." By the time he answered, Aderes had completely hidden the thought. 

“... I was thinking everyone deserves a chance to… you know, learn if they want to,” Hermione said.

Finally, he looked at his friend. He needed to listen to this before he got himself in trouble "... Who is everyone?"

Hermione took a breath. "Everyone in our year."

"How could we possibly hide a club with that many members?" 

"I know a place," Aderes said. 

'Of course you do.'

"Okay, so we start a Defense club, then what? We order the real fifth year book of Defense spells and just start using them on each other?"

“Of course not! I was thinking you and Aderes could teach us,” Hermione blurted out.

She had gone mad. "No one wants lessons from me!" People didn’t even want to talk to him right now, let alone learn from him. Hell, no one wanted to even sit with him on the train back. He’d had to accept Draco Malfoy’s pity and join him for the entire ride back to school.

‘Oh, I can’t wait to tell him that.’

‘Don’t you dare!!’

"You're the best Defense student in our year, maybe in the whole school! You survived fighting Voldemort!"

"All of that was sheer luck, and no one believes what happened last year!" And he was still pretty sure Aderes was far more knowledgeable than he was, probably better at Defense than he would ever be. Not that he completely trusted his boyfriend to teach students Defense. Knowing him, anything he thought someone deserved was fair game to use as 'defense'.

"A lot of people want to hear your side, Harry. Every year you get accused of lying about something, and every year you prove people wrong. A lot of students have noticed how The Daily Prophet is trying to hide things and more than a few have told me they're starting to believe you."

"Yeah, sure." As much as he wanted that to be true, he was in denial about Aderes, not his life as a whole. He'd always been spot on with that. It sucked. The only reason he was still alive was so it could suck longer, that or so Voldemort could run him through later or whatever the hell he seemed to be waiting for. He'd been sure the graveyard would be the end of his life, and yet here he was. Go figure. 

He looked to Aderes. Turns out his boyfriend had heard this conversation one too many times and didn’t care to listen to it again. The only thing he was interested in according to the bond was grabbing some chocolate from a stash he had in his trunk and snogging Harry. 'What do you think?'

“I could care less. I'm not getting involved at all unless you're a part of it.”

''Really? You'd pass up a chance to show off your genius?'

'If it meant less time with you, yes.'

Harry could feel his face burning. 'Don't…' he was going to say lie, but the bond assured him that was not that case. Aderes wanted to spend as much time as he could with Harry and just below that reason, he didn't care one way or the other if all the other students at the school died, so why care if they passed their O.W.L.S.? "ADERES!"

Aderes stared at him. "Why does that surprise you?"

"Ugh…." He began rubbing his temples. _Why and how…_

Drops of rain broke Harry out of his thoughts. At first just a few, but they began increasing in number and speed soon enough. Harry snatched his parchment up, the crumpled-up pieces included, and shoved them into his bag.

Other students who'd been lounging around were laughing or yelling as they gathered their items and ran for the castle, and as always, Harry envied that this sudden rain was the worst of all their problems. 

**(X)**

It took Harry quite a few attempts before he managed to piece together a letter that told Sirius everything he could and wanted to, as well as skip everything he had to, while managing to make the letter sensible. How he did it without lying, he wasn't sure, but he had. He felt guilty about writing such a roundabout letter, but it would be easier to try to convince Sirius that Aderes wasn't the horrible creep he pretty much was in person. Maybe Aderes could attempt to use his manipulative charm to win Sirius over. There wasn't much he could do if his godfather refused to accept his boyfriend, though. He hoped if nothing else, Sirius would remain civil to him. _The fact that Aderes is real and not a magical item might be enough to make him happy. _

"What are you hoping to accomplish by holding back every single detail that matters," Aderes asked. They were walking together out of the Owlery. "He's going to find out sooner or later I'm a 'raging lunatic'."

"I didn't even think that, let alone say it," Harry snapped. Now he was, though, and he couldn’t help smiling. 'Besides, you didn't exactly make a good first impression,' he pointed out, letting the memory from number twelve pass between them.

Aderes’ eyes widened, guilt forming immediately. 'I didn't realize how much pain you were in… not that I was feeling much better.' He grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed it. "I'm just saying, it's better to rip the whole bandage off rather than pull at it little by little."

"Says the guy who doesn't think the bandage should exist at all."

Aderes smirked. "So you noticed."

Harry glared at him. It faded immediately when Aderes’s arm went around his waist, followed by a feeling of Aderes being mildly impressed with him. Harry’s face grew warm, and he dropped his head. 

"You're no fool, Harry." A rush of random thoughts. Harry couldn’t pin down a single one. "If you need time to think about everything, I could spend the next few days with Draco and Hermione." 

"What good would that do," Harry demanded. 

Surprise again. "It would give you time to think about everything. My 'improper behavior'. Whether or not I'm worth tolerating. So you can try to come up with some way to convince your godfather I'm not a monster." He started laughing. "I do wish you all the luck with that one." He removed his arm from around Harry. "I'm confident you'll choose to come back to me." He leaned forward, kissing Harry on the cheek. "I will keep things simple so my thoughts and feelings don't sway you one way or the other." 

Harry stared at his boyfriend as the bond closed off everything, but the smallest indication that Aderes was alive and the bond was not destroyed. "W, wait!" This was all happening way too fast. He didn't want Aderes to leave, even if it was for just a few days. 

"You need to come to your own decision. Am I worth staying with even if your godfather disapproves? Is the source of your emotions for me because of the bond? Can you live with the things I've done and the things I will no doubt do?"

"That's not fair. I can't answer any of those questions alone!"

"You won't accept them unless you do."

"No," he said, glaring at his boyfriend. 

Aderes tilted his head slightly to the left. "No?"

"No," he repeated. "Either you stick with me or you don't."

"You're the one having the internal war."

"I will deal with it. Besides, I feel like if I leave you alone, there's no telling what you'll do. Draco and Hermione don't have the guts to tell you no."

Aderes smirked, his eyes dancing with amusement. "You're not wrong."

"You won't listen to Dumbledore either. You claim you won't listen to me, but you _do_ take my thoughts into consideration, no matter how much you want to deny it. If you didn’t, I wouldn't have this." He motioned to his shirt where the pendant was resting underneath.

"I wouldn't bet on that," Aderes said, his eyes narrowing 

"I would," Harry said, matching his look.

Scowling Aderes started towards the Great Hall. Smirking himself now, Harry followed. 

"Harry?"

The couple stopped, Aderes's hand snatching Harry’s, annoyance radiating from the bond, despite it being almost closed. 

"Cho?" It seemed Aderes was not a fan.

"Fancy meeting you here," she said, smiling.

Harry expected to feel the usual butterflies in his stomach, the gentle nervousness that swept over him every time he tried to speak with her, but it never came. It seemed his feelings for Aderes had destroyed any feelings he'd had for the girl. She was still pretty, but talking to her was no different from talking to anyone else now. That she'd even bothered to say hi to him after last year was pretty shocking, though. He didn't think he could be so cheerful going up to the person who'd managed to survive the same ordeal his boyfriend had died in.

His vision went black.

"Harry!?" 

He must have moved back or something, because Aderes's hand tightened and Harry realized he'd been falling. Just as fast, he could see again. Aderes was holding him against his chest, his thoughts and heart racing.

Cho looked like someone had thrown a curse at her. 

'— cursed old man — memories.'

Harry stared at his boyfriend. 

"Are you okay," Aderes asked, worried.

He nodded, not that he was actually sure. Why had thinking about Cedric's death caused such a reaction? And why was Aderes cursing Dumbledore about something to do with memories? 

"Hey!" Aderes gave Harry a firm shake, the Gryffindor staring at him. "Focus on me!" 

It seemed Harry was taking too long to answer because seconds later; he found Aderes’ tongue in his mouth. Any thoughts he'd been trying to piece together vanished, not just a little, but quite literally exploded before sizzling out of sight. 

"Oh, my… I… there were rumors, but…" 

"Our relationship is only a rumor," Harry laughed when Aderes broke the kiss. They’d kissed in front of a classroom full of Gryffindors. And in the Great Hall a few times now that he thought of it. "I guess people don't want to admit you chose to date me."

Aderes shrugged. "They'll get over it, eventually." He was still looking Harry over.

"Will they?" He snickered. 

"Do you actually think I'd care one way or the other?"

"No," Harry said, grinning. That was one of Aderes’s better traits, at least when it came to them dating. Anyone else with even a fraction of Aderes’s popularity would be torn trying to decide if staying with Harry was worth the cost of losing everyone else's attention. Aderes didn't care what anyone thought because he knew he was better than everyone else. 

"I didn't think it was true."

"Aderes is_ my_ boyfriend," Harry said, earning another rush of surprise from Aderes. "I'll see you," he said, pulling Aderes down the hall. When Cho was far behind them, he slowed down. "I don't need any time. I want to be with you. Even if you're completely mad, I don't want to lose you. You can understand that, right?"

He gave a single small nod. "I can."

"Okay, then you understand why I don't want you to do things like burn classrooms down or melt shoes off people's feet." He let the bond offer images of Umbridge's burns, refusing to risk being overhead.

"I make no promises."

"I didn't expect you to. I just need you to understand why I'm so frustrated and confused."

"I believe the bond takes care of that."

"Then we don't need a 'break'. We both understand where we're coming from, it's just a matter of learning to accept each other’s views."

"...Really?" He stopped, Harry having no choice but to do the same since they were holding hands. "You're going to try and accept that I harm people?"

"No, well, maybe. I don't approve of it and I probably never will, but… You haven’t done anything so terrible…" Who was he kidding? They were mentally bonded. "I don't approve," he started over. "But I can't get myself to be angry with you for doing any of the violence you've used so far, not enough to break it off. Besides, it's not like I wasn't thinking about doing what you've done lately, I just didn’t act on it."

"You always did have more self-control when it came to dealing with others." 

"Just don't do anything worse than you've already done. At least think it over first. I can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere, Harry."

"Good." He hoped Aderes meant that. Even if he just attempted to behave, it had to be better than the reckless free-for-all attitude he was following right now.

They walked to the Great Hall in silence, leaning against each other.

With Umbridge "mysteriously" missing, the combined detention for fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins was canceled for the evening. Harry heard more than a few students say they wouldn't have bothered going even if she tried to drag them from their common room and he couldn't agree more. Starting a revolution with his housemates seemed like a rather good idea compared to spending another second with Umbridge. 

With his sudden found freedom that Saturday night, Harry left the Great Hall happy, and immediately crawled into bed once he was back in the Gryffindor tower. Aderes was stretched out on his bed reading, the spell around his bed making it impossible for anyone to see him unless they actually got into Harry’s bed. His boyfriend looked so innocent, like he was incapable of the things he'd been thinking or doing. 

_This is ridiculous._ He moved over his entire body, pressing against Aderes'. 

The Slytherin looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow. 'Is everything okay?'

'I guess.'

'It doesn't sound like it's okay.'

'I feel like I'm obsessed with you.'

Aderes dropped his book, laughing. 'Who isn't obsessed with me?'

'I mean it! I don't like being away from you.'

'I know. I don't care much for you to be out of my sight either.' He laid the book onto the beside table and wrapped his arms around Harry. 'Only you would get attacked by a Hogwart's teacher. The Death Eater treated you better last year.'

'Which just shows how awful Umbridge is.'

'No kidding.' The toad obviously had no problem attacking students and causing them pain… so why should they hold back against someone like Umbridge who enjoyed hurting them? He still didn't think trying to burn her alive was justified, but no one deserved to have to sit still while a 'teacher' tortured them. 

Aderes looked at him, his shock clear. 'Are you actually thinking what I heard you think? The 'Great Harry Potter' has finally decided he shouldn't be a sitting target for abuse?'

Harry hit his arm gently. 'It's hard for me, okay? I was raised with people abusing me, people who punished me even worse when I tried to stand up for myself. Even after I found out I had these amazing powers, I couldn't use them to stop the Dursley’s from doing everything they could to hurt me. It was safer not to fight back.'

A whirlwind of emotions swept across the bond, the strongest being anger and protectiveness. Aderes’ grip tightened. 'Those Muggles will never hurt you again.' 

'You can't just storm their house.'

'Why would I need to?' He slipped his hand under Harry’s pajama top, grabbing the pendant. 'All I have to do is pretend I'm a ghost.'

'Won't your parents get mad if you keep spending all of your holidays with me?' 

Hesitation. 'They won't care. And if they really needed me, they'd know where I am.'

Harry could tell Aderes was trying to deflect. There was sadness mixed in with the hidden thoughts and rejection. _He'll tell me when he's ready._ Prying into such a sensitive subject seemed wrong. Though he couldn't help wondering what kind of people they were or what they did for a living. Both of them must be brilliant and beautiful. And while Aderes made it difficult to love him unconditionally, once you were past the violent parts, he was a great person. 

_His parents will never approve of me._ The idea that Aderes might be using him to anger his parents flashed through his mind, then vanished. 

'I promise, my father thinks you're the greatest person in the world. It was all his bragging that made me want to meet you in the first place.'

'I know your father?' He tried to think of all the adults he knew and couldn't think of a single one that looked even remotely like Aderes or had a fraction of his intelligence. 

'Kind of.' He made it obvious he wasn't explaining anything more. 

Well, at least he had one parent won over.

**(TBC)**


	27. Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll probably end up tweaking Remus and Sirius’ talk about Harry’s letter later on. Nothing major.   
Warnings: This is shounen-ai, slash, yaoi, gay, Harry Potter/ Tom Riddle   
Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Harry yawned, smiling when he felt Aderes lying beside him. For the first time ever, it was a Sunday morning during the school year, and he hadn’t woken up in a state of panic because all his homework was already finished. Having an eccentric boyfriend was a blessing in that sense. He could spend his day any way he wanted to now without worry and let's face it. He _needed _at least one day where his life didn't threaten to spiral out of control. _I shouldn’t jinx myself. _Now that he’d thought that, Dumbledore was going to walk into his room any second and tell him some new and horrible thing Aderes had done while he slept before he dragged the Slytherin off by the back of his robes. If he was lucky, he'd seen his boyfriend again in fifteen to twenty years, preferably with his soul still intact.

Turning over, he wrapped both of his arms around Aderes. As strange and questionable as his morals and life had become, he couldn’t deny that Aderes had made it better. And not just a little… He sighed, closing his eyes. He felt guilty for even considering the things he had the night before, but part of him knew he wasn’t wrong. Attacking someone for fun wasn't right. Defending yourself was perfectly acceptable. Not that he was going to pretend for a second that what Aderes had done was ‘defense’ or ‘right’.

But…

_If Umbridge had touched Aderes… _It was stupid. Aderes was by far stronger and more intelligent than he’d ever be, and yet he felt the need to protect him. _Maybe I should protect him from himself. _Snickering, he leaned forward and kissed Aderes on the forehead.

“Harry? You awake?”

The Gryffindor turned over. Ron was sitting up in his bed looking at him. Harry sat up, wishing he’d gotten at least a few more minutes alone with Aderes, and stuck his head out of the silenced area. “Yeah?”

“Want to do homework together?” He was practically begging.

Right. Ron didn’t have a grade obsessive boyfriend watching his every move. _Maybe he should get one. _“Mine’s done already.” He pulled on his glasses.

His shoulder’s slumped. “Oh…”

_He’s my friend._ And Aderes had been nice enough to help him, so he should pay it forward. “I’ll help… eh with what I can.” Which probably wouldn’t be much, but Ron was used to failing. All Harry needed to do was keep the redhead focused, so he’d have something to turn in instead of blank pieces of parchment.

Ron’s eyes lit up. “Yeah?”

“I know we haven’t been on the best terms lately.” It also felt like they were kind of drifting apart, despite how close they'd been for years and everything they'd gone through. Not having Ron as a friend wouldn't be right. “Just don’t expect any O’s. I’m not Aderes or Hermione.”

“Deal.”

Harry glanced back at his boyfriend. Aderes didn’t look like he’d be budging any time soon. He gave his boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek and slid off the bed, doing his best not to wake Aderes up. When Aderes didn’t move, he frowned. _He’s alive, right? _It’s not like his boyfriend had felt cold when he’d kissed him. _I shouldn’t… _But a nagging feeling in the back of his head wouldn’t stop. Before his common sense could kick in, he put his hand under Aderes’ nose.

‘Harry?’ Aderes’ consciousness was almost nonexistent. ‘What’s wrong?’

He cursed under his breath, realizing not his movements, but his anxiety had woken Aderes up. ‘Nothing. I’m going down to—’ He let out a small yell as he found arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him back onto the bed.

“Harry,” Ron shouted.

“Aderes!” He tried to turn, but Aderes was holding him in a death grip, laughing. ‘Did you actually think you were going somewhere without me?’ The bond assured him that was not happening, ever.

‘I was trying to let you sleep,’ he said, mentally pouting.

‘Who can sleep when your boyfriend is having a panic attack because he thinks you’re dead?’ Amusement. ‘Why do you keep thinking I’m dead or going to die, anyway? You realize there isn’t a single person who’s stronger or smarter than me, right?’ He kissed Harry, his grip around him tightening.

‘I don’t know…’ He’d been trying to figure that out himself. Not once could he remember thinking everyone around him was going to die at any second, and really, he still didn’t. It was just Aderes.

“Harry—AD—” Ron’s mouth and eyes widened with shock and he seemed to be screaming something, but no sound was leaving his mouth.

“It seems we’ve been found out,” Aderes sighed.

“You think? You pulled me onto the bed without warning.” It probably looked like something had snatched him up and ate him. Movement had Harry taking a good look around the dorm now. The others were waking up, no doubt thinking, Ron and he was fighting again. Another perfect start to a wonderful day. All he’d wanted was some alone time to snog his boyfriend.

“I’ll meet you in the Great Hall… Oh, and if I find out you’re letting that fool copy your homework, I will burn yours and you can start over, alone.” He kissed Harry again before his form vanished from Harry’s bed.

Harry did his best to ignore the loneliness trying to take him over. He’d thought for sure the longer Aderes and him were together, that his obsession with him would fade, that he’d be able to handle not having Aderes next to him every waking second, but it almost seemed like it was getting worse.

“WHAT—” Harry got to his feet fast, slapping his hand over Ron’s mouth. "Belt it," he hissed.

Ron blinked and nodded.

“I will explain when we are alone. Got it?” Their other dormmates would not understand, and Harry wasn’t about to try to explain it to them, anyway. Besides, there was no telling what Dumbledore would do if he found out Harry had another person in his bed at night, especially a non-Gryffindor person.

Another nod.

“Good.” He removed his hand. When Ron didn’t scream, he went to his trunk and started rummaging through his clothes. The weekend meant he didn’t have to bother wearing school robes, but he didn’t exactly have a ton of clothes either. Usually, he didn’t care what he threw on, but a small part of him wanted to wear something that Aderes would enjoy seeing on him. _Can you have clothes delivered? _Hermione would know, but he wasn’t even sure what kind of clothes would look good on him. _I should have gone to Diagon. _Only that wouldn’t have helped much, because at that point he hadn’t had a boyfriend or had to worry about his clothes.

‘As much as I appreciate the effort, just put something on so we can have breakfast together.’

Harry’s face burned. He really needed to find a way to keep some of his thoughts to himself. He grabbed the first set out clothes from the top of his trunk, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and put them on.

“So…”

Harry looked up. The room had emptied out while he’d been facing his dilemma over his clothes. “You saw,” he said, somewhat embarrassed. He’d known someone would catch Aderes in his bed sooner or later, better Ron than someone else. “It’s not like we’ve done anything,” he said, quickly. The thought had crossed his mind and thankfully, Aderes hadn’t pushed it, though he’d made it quite clear through the bond the second Harry asked him to, Aderes would be removing his clothes.

“Yeah, but… how in the hell did he get into our dorm?”

Harry raised an eyebrow at his friend. That was his concern? Well, Ron never had been too bright and often worried about the wrong things. At least it was to his advantage this time. “The necklace?”

“O, oh… right…” 

This was awkward as hell. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out about any of it. I wanted to tell you yesterday about what’s been going on, but it’s hard. I’ve been really anxious lately and...”

“Who wouldn’t be with a boyfriend like that?”

“I don’t think it’s because of Aderes… or not exactly.” Of course, that was part of it, but there was something more to it. He kept trying to tell himself it was because of Mrs. Weasley’s death, but deep down he knew that wasn’t the reason. There was something else. “I’m scared Aderes is going to be taken from me.”

Ron snorted. “Just about every girl in the school wants him. If they knew how he really was...”

“No, I mean… I keep thinking he’s going to be killed. Even the Boggart back at number twelve, it was him lying there dead.” 

“… How is that possible? You didn’t even know what he looked like until he started school this year.”

“I don’t know…” He’d found that strange as well, but Aderes had started making out with him and his curiosity had flown away. Or rather, it’d gotten shoved out.

"I don't know, Harry. There's something off about him."

"I know."

"So why are you dating him? Is it because of his looks? Because Cho likes you too and she's pretty."

"I don't even have feelings for Cho anymore. Anything I felt for her before is gone." At least that had happened before they'd gotten together. "Besides, what I feel for Aderes is a lot stronger than anything I ever felt for Cho."

Ron looked uneasy. "... Did he slip you a love potion or something?"

_How should I know? _"Would I be able to tell him how much I disapprove of his choices if he’d given me one?" Love potions weren't exactly a commonly discussed topic, at least no one Harry knew had ever spoken about them. _No… that’s not right… _He did remember someone mentioning something about a love potion, but who?

"All I'm saying is, be careful."

Harry nodded, and they left the dorm. He was going to mention the bond, but with Ron so against Aderes already, telling him anything more would just make him hate Aderes more, and he couldn’t have that happen until after he’d convinced Sirius to accept Aderes has his boyfriend.

Aderes glared at Ron the second they came into view. “Stop making Harry’s life difficult.” He wrapped his arms around Harry and kissed him, hard. 'That red head is pushing it.'

Harry did a quick mental scan of the bond to see exactly what issue Aderes had with Ron at the moment. 'He has a point; how did I know what you looked like?'

Aderes mentally rolled his eyes. 'The bond, how else?'

_Jeez. _That made sense. Why hadn't he thought about that? Sometimes random thoughts from Aderes passed through the bond. Why wouldn’t his appearance, even if it wasn't a conscious thought? 'I didn't think about that.'

'Maybe do so instead of thinking the worst next time?'

'I'll try.'

'Fine.' He sighed dramatically, lacing his fingers with Harry’s, and led him into the Great Hall, ignoring Ron's protests from behind. "I'm guessing two hours of writing down random answers is enough time to waste on him?"

"H, hey!!"

'Honestly, knowing Ron, it'll probably take all day.'

"No," Aderes said, his voice leaving no room for debate. 

Harry blinked. "I can't just—"

'You don't want to waste your entire day with him anymore than I want you to.'

True, but he couldn’t just let Ron fail or in this case, not have anything to turn in tomorrow. 

'Harry, you are not responsible for his grades or keeping him on task. Maybe a few weeks of detention for not doing his homework will be a wake-up call for him.'

'I know, but if he gets kicked off the Quidditch team, it's an even bigger issue than his grades.'

Aderes stared at him. "You're joking."

"No, if you want to stay on the Quidditch team—"

"I meant that you actually think Quidditch is more important than your grades! Quidditch is not going to teach you anything! It's not going to help in a fight, it—"

"It does help learning strategies," he said, knowing how weak his argument was. 'Besides, it's not just about Quidditch, Ron's my friend.'

'Get a new friend. Draco could use one.'

'I am friends with Draco!'

'He uses you and Hermione.'

'I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Ron. He was my first friend!'

'So, you had no precedent to make sure you chose a good friend versus a bad one. Once you met Hermione, you should have come to your senses.'

'I'm just trying to help him out.'

'He's not asking for help, he's too lazy to do it himself and wants to copy everything. You ask questions and read your assignments. You wrote your own essays, and I went over them afterwards and gave you suggestions. That's helping.'

'I wouldn't even know where to start with fixing his essays like you do mine.'

Aderes sighed, releasing Harry’s hand and walking to the Gryffindor table. 

"Aderes!" He ran after him.

"Hermione, I need a favor," Aderes said as he sat down.

Hermione looked up, slightly surprised. "Sure. What do you need?"

"Get this thing a homework schedule made," he growled, jerking his finger at Ron. "I will not have him acting as a parasite."

"I'm not a parasite!!"

"Fooled me," Aderes snorted. 

"I usually make homework schedules for the three of us anyway," she said. "I've just been so busy this week, but I should be able to get them finished today."

"Thank you." 

"So, it's okay if you use Hermione, but not us," Ron asked. 

_Why are you so stupid, Ron?_

"I'm not using Hermione. She's doing me a favor. When she needs something, I will return the favor."

"How is that any different!?"

"What have you actually done for Hermione in return for her help?"

Ron's face went red. "Lots of stuff!"

"Well, when you can name that 'stuff' let me know and we'll reevaluate. Until then, the verdict stands. You're a useless parasite."

_Aderes… _He sighed, wondering if Ron was going to hate him again. "My friend is not a parasite." Though he could hardly deny what Aderes was saying. Ron did abuse Hermione's help. _And so did I, _he reminded himself. The only reason he'd stopped was due to Aderes’ intervention, making Ron's situation unfair. He'd gone from using Hermione to using Aderes and was trying, unintentionally slowly, to break himself of the habit. Aderes was trying to get Ron to stop all at once with no help. 

Aderes turned to him, his eyes narrowed. 'Don't start that!'

'Well, it's true!'

Annoyance. 'I'm going to murder your friend, so you don't have to worry about any of this anymore.'

'Aderes!!'

**(X)**

"Oh, thank Merlin you're home! Read this!"

Remus blinked and nearly fell backwards when Sirius thrust the piece of parchment in front of his face. "What's wrong?" He could barely make out the words given how close the parchment was, not to mention how tired he felt. He'd been up for the last fifteen hours doing his best not to skin Greyback alive and turn him into a new rug for number twelve. Yet here was Sirius, shoving paper at him when he hadn't even been inside long enough to remove his shoes. 

"This!" Sirius waved the parchment around. 

Sighing, Remus stepped around the paper and went down the hall, Sirius going after him. He collapsed into the first kitchen chair he managed to stagger over to. "Is there any tea?" 

"Yeah."

"... can I have some?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah. You can read this while I make it." He dropped the parchment onto the table and rushed off to the cabinet above the sink. 

With Sirius distracted, he closed his eyes for a minute. He really wanted a nap.

"Remus!"

He jumped, frowning when he saw the cup of tea sitting in front of him. "S, sorry." 

"I know you’re tired, but you need to read this before you go lie down."

"Okay, okay." He took a gulp of his tea before picking up the letter. 

Padfoot,

I'm not entirely sure where to start. I've only been at school for a week and my life has fallen apart. I don't know what to do. The magical item issue we were dealing with over the summer? It turns out it was actually a real person. They were doing some kind of research and got stuck in it. I'm begging you not to get mad, but I kissed him and… we've been dating since. I don't know what it is about him, but I really like being with him.

Remus whistled. One week at school and Harry had a boyfriend. He looked at Sirius. His poor husband looked like he had when he'd first gotten out of Azkaban, just with more energy. 

So that's the good news. Maybe sit down for the rest of this letter.

_Okay. _He took another sip of his tea to help prepare himself.

I'm sure you've read the daily prophet and saw the picture of the student who was dealing with blood inking. It was me.

His eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?" Dumbledore had allowed Umbridge to conduct blood inking on a student and of course it had conveniently been Harry?

"Keep reading."

My boyfriend got involved, and it's been… 'dealt with.' I can't go into detail in the letter, but… Well, he was sorted into Slytherin.

_Oh dear. _The fact that Harry thought someone being sorted into Slytherin automatically made them a bad person made him snicker. 

I know you don't like Slytherin. I don't understand it myself, but somehow Draco Malfoy has ended up in our group and it's been nice. Snape hasn't been giving me such a hard time, but I think that's because of my boyfriend. I'm begging you to please just get to know him. He’s a little morally challenged, but I'm working on it. He’s been helping keep my scar from hurting, and he’s helped with a lot of other things.

Oh, Ron made it onto the Quidditch team.

Stag.

Remus burst into laughter and did his best to reread the letter to make sure he hadn't missed anything. 

"What in that letter is even relatively funny!?"

"I'm laughing because Harry seems to think telling us Ron made it onto the Quidditch team makes everything else in the letter sound better."

"This is serious, Remus! He's dating a guy we don't know, a _Slytherin_—"

He should have known Sirius wouldn’t be completely open to Harry dating someone. "But we do kind of know him. He stopped Harry’s uncle from choking him, he cleaned Harry’s Gytrash cut, and he helped snap Harry out of his trance so he could drive away the Dementors,” he said listing off all the things Harry had repeated to them over the summer. Slytherin or not, Harry had found himself quite the amazing boyfriend.

"He also threw Ron into a wall _and _he caused Harry how much pain!?"

"Dumbledore explained that." _This is going to take some time. _

"Yeah. He explained that Harry got wrapped up in some really dark magic and somehow doesn't remember any of it, and—"

"And that everything that happened was one of the only reasons Harry survived the graveyard," he said, hoping to get Sirius to calm down, if only a little. “Harry really seems taken with him.”

"I still don't like it. And how can we even trust Dumbledore anymore? He seems to have no regard for Harry’s safety or even his life!" He sat down across from Remus, glowering. 

Remus had been wondering the same thing ever since he'd come home and heard about the attack on Harry and Dumbledore’s complete lack of concern about it. "Well… this boyfriend seems to be there whenever Harry needs help… It even says here that he stopped Umbridge’s detention.”

"Or Dumbledore made it seem that way, so we'd drop our defenses and let this guy get close to Harry."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "What would he gain by doing that?"

"I don't know! But I don't trust him, Remus. Something isn't adding up here. And this kid has Harry talking to Draco Malfoy—"

"That was my doing actually," he said, smiling when Sirius looked like he might fall over.

"What?! Why!?"

"Because everyone here was giving Harry a hard time. When we were at Molly's funeral, I caught the two of them talking and it seemed like Draco was in need of a friend and so was Harry. I know Lucius is a pure blood sympathizer and a Death Eater, but I taught one year at Hogwarts and Draco isn't the monster his father is, not yet anyway. Harry might be the one person who can keep him from falling to his father's level."

Sirius snorted. "All of you have gone mad!"

“You can’t just judge people without meeting them,” he said, frowning. “You’re a Black, but you’re nothing like your parents.” Sirius snorted. “Why don't we have Harry introduce us over the holidays? Dumbledore didn't seem to mind that he was here in number twelve. That has to count for something. Even if he doesn't have Harry’s best interests in mind, he would never risk the Order as a whole."

Sirius deflated a little. ".... Yeah. You're right. I still don't like it."

"Harry really wants your approval or he wouldn't be begging you in his letter not to hate his boyfriend." 

"I get it," he sighed. 

"Good. I'm going to get some sleep. Maybe calm down a little before replying to Harry’s letter?"

"I will."

"Thank you." He leaned across the table and kissed Sirius. 

Sirius blushed and grabbed Remus's hand. "Maybe I'll come join you for a while."

"Just remember, I'm going to sleep."

"Eventually."

**(X)**

"What subject are we on now," Harry asked. They’d gone back to their dorm after breakfast, Hermione refusing to even tell Ron what the assigned pages were. Luckily, Harry had written them down because he doubted Aderes would tell him either. For some reason it felt like Ron had twice the amount of homework Harry had. He swore he hadn’t done some of these assignments, but when he went through his bag to check, sure enough, they were there.

“Herbology,” Ron muttered.

“Okay.” He removed his herbology book and joined Ron on his bed, wondering how much longer he’d be dealing with this. If Ron had just done the assignments as they were handed out, he could be somewhere snogging Aderes instead of listening to Ron curse every few minutes. They’d finished Divination and Astrology, so at least they were getting somewhere. “Herbology is an essay about the proper way to care for a Mandrake from seedling to fully bloomed flower.”

“Why,” Ron groaned at the ceiling, and dropping the book into his lap. “I’m _never _going to try and grow one of these things at home!”

“Yeah, and we never use Divination for anything, but we signed up for the class.”

“I can’t wait to drop it next year.”

“Can we do that?”

Ron nodded. “You can drop as many classes as you want your sixth year, but you can only sign up for a class if you get a high enough O.W.L.”

Harry’s mind was racing now. He wasn’t just getting away from Snape. He could drop out of Divination and stop hearing her predict his death every week. No more having to listen to Professor Binns go on and on about history that he couldn’t care less about. Next year was going to be amazing.

**(X)**

'You're drifting again, perhaps you should just get some sleep,' Aderes offered, nuzzling Harry gently. They were sitting in an overstuffed chair, Aderes invisible in his shadow form, Harry practically asleep on top of him.

'No…. not until Ron is finished,' he answered with a half yawn. He was tired, he'd admit that, but he refused to ditch Ron. He’d ended up wasting his entire day already, trying hard to keep Ron from straying from his homework. After dinner Hermione had finally taken pity on Harry and offered to help babysit their friend in the commons. If he left now, it would make all the hours he put in seem pointless.

'Harry?'

'Hmm?'

Aderes said something, but Harry didn't catch it, his attention elsewhere. He could have sworn he'd seen something out of the corner of his eye.

'Harry.'

"Wait.' He'd seen the movement again; he was sure of it. Removing himself from Aderes’ arms, he got up from the overstuffed chair and walked over to the fireplace. Hermione and Ron looked up at him.

"Is something wrong," Ron asked, frowning.

"I think…. I just saw Sirius' head," he said. But that wasn't possible, was it? How could he be seeing Sirius' head?

The flames went into a whirlwind dance, almost like a doorway opening in the fireplace. 

_What in the…?_

'Your godfather is an idiot,' Aderes said, bored. 

"What could he possibly be thinking? This is no time to be pulling stunts like this! He should know better! Oh! Where's Lupin when you need him," Hermione demanded, sounding like a panicked Mrs. Weasley.

Harry agreed. His godfather was being reckless, but he had so many things he needed to talk about that he'd kick himself if he didn't take advantage of this. 

"Snuffles!"

"Harry," Sirius said, smiling. "Don't talk too loud, Moony is sleeping."

_So that's how he got away with doing this. _

Aderes mentally agreed, snickering. 

"I know how risky this is, but after reading that letter… well." He paused, his eyes boring into Harry’s. 

"It's really not…" If he finished that sentence, he'd be lying. 

"You should have just written back," Hermione whispered, harshly. 

"No. I needed to talk to Harry in person about some of these issues."

"It's not as bad as it sounds," Harry said, holding his hand up to the fire. "You can't even see it anymore." Thank god Aderes had used the healing ointment he had. There was no telling what Sirius would have done if he’d seen another scar on Harry’s body.

"That's not the issue I was concerned about."

"It's not?" What else could possibly be worse than the blood inking? 

"No, I want to hear about this... boyfriend of yours." His face went sour when he uttered the word boyfriend. 

"That's what you're risking your safety for," Hermione demanded.

"The guy's a creep," Ron said, without hesitation. "He crammed himself into a necklace, mailed himself to Harry, and he's been snogging him since! He's a Slytherin, and—"

"And he risked getting sent to Azkaban so Umbridge couldn't hurt me," Harry growled. 

"He's not normal!"

"You're just jealous," Hermione snapped. 

"Who would be jealous of that weirdo!?"

Sirius let out a small gasp and Harry followed his gaze, sighing when he saw Aderes flickering into his human form. 

"Normal would be rather boring," he said, walking towards the fireplace, head held high. When he was next to Harry, he sat down beside him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Harry grinned, his face burning.

Sirius studied them for a moment. 

"I know I didn't get to explain much in the letter, but... I wanted you to know," Harry said. To know and hopefully be happy for him. 

"How did a Slytherin get into the Gryffindor common room?"

"With practice," Aderes smirked. 

"I don't like it," he said, glaring at the teen. "But Harry wants me to give you a chance. I'll be meeting you soon. Then we can talk, preferably, alone." 

Aderes shrugged, his arm snaking around Harry's waist. "I'll be there."

Sirius nodded. He still didn’t seem happy, but the fact that he wasn't trying to kill Aderes on sight was a good start. "How are your lessons in Umbridge's class going," he seemed to ask randomly. "I saw the Daily Prophet this morning. If I wasn't being held here…"

"Awful," Ron said, sulking. "All we do is read the stupid textbook!"

"I figured as much. From what we understand here, Fudge doesn't want anyone to be trained in combat, so he pretty much destroyed the Defense Against the Dark Arts class," he sighed. "What a mistake."

"Trained for combat? What does he think we're doing here, forming some sort of wizard army," Harry asked in shock. That was one of the craziest things he'd heard lately. 

Sirius nodded. "That's exactly what he thinks. Fudge is paranoid and bringing the school down with him. Thinks Dumbledore is trying to steal his power from the Ministry," he let out another sigh. "When will these people ever learn? Of course, that move on Dumbledore's part was basically him declaring war—"

"You couldn't have expected him to not do anything," Harry snapped.

"Of course not," Sirius said, his eyes widening slightly. "I wish I could do something myself, but Remus would skin me alive. I'm just surprised he moved so quickly. That's a bit unlike him."

"He didn't have a choice," Aderes said. "If he hadn't, Fudge would have had a lot more problems than some bad publicity." Images of a dead Umbridge flickered through the bond.

"Aderes!"

"What? it's not like I was hiding it," he laughed.

"You're going to get me sent to St. Mungo's," he sighed, leaning against him. 

"Fudge is trying to find some reason, any reason, to get Dumbledore arrested—"

"What," Aderes demanded, his eyes flicking to Sirius, his voice a low growl. It seemed his boyfriend had not been privy to that information. Flames were practically surging through the bond. Thankfully, his boyfriend had them under control enough to not let them lash out at Harry.

"For what," Harry asked.

"That article in The Daily Prophet about the blood inking wasn't received nicely by other parents. They didn't write about it, but a lot of parents showed up at the Ministry of Magic demanding the torture stop and for Fudge take responsibility. There's even been talks about removing him from his position."

"Good. If someone got the real results for the mental evaluation done during Harry’s trial from St. Mungo's, they would see just how unstable he really is. You know what drove him to the edge, right," Aderes asked Sirius. 

"If you're suggesting I did something—"

"It was the Dementor he was keeping as a bodyguard."

Harry swore he could see a hint of surprise in Sirius eyes.

"I see you catch on quick."

"I'm at the front of everything."

Sirius' head vanished suddenly, Remus appearing a second later. "I'm closing this connection before this arse gets caught." His eyes fell on Aderes. "You're the one from Harry’s Boggart." He smiled. "Please continue to look after Harry." To the others. "It's late. Go to bed." His head vanished into the flames. They could hear yelling and Harry saw what had to be what Lupin had called the "connection" fall in on itself. There was another burst of flames and then nothing. 

Harry let out a breath. Sirius was willing to give Aderes a chance. Grinning, he turned to Aderes, threw his arms around his neck, and pushed him down, kissing him.

**(TBC)**


End file.
